goodbye 2009, hello 2010.

wow this year went by so fast. I still member how scared I was going into 2009 because it meant change in my life. College is one of them, it made me become really independent and not reliable on anyone else. This year I didn't care about anyone but myself, and I'm glad I did that because I found out who are the people I can really trust. There were quite a few highlights of the year. Graduating from high school, going to college, Niagara with boyfriend so many times, Blue Mountain with my fam & boyfriend, Skiing with boyfriend alone, Raps vs. Magic, Raps vs. Cavs, latest video games, zoo, ontario science center, new adventures, eating everywhere, etc. Along with most of these highlights, I thank my boyfriend for sharing them with me. I also thank God for giving me him, and we're still strong.Speaking of new years, tomorrow is our 11 months :).

I really hope that 2010 will be my year. I hope that things get better, everything was good this year and I plan to continue being independent and not caring bout anyone else but my fam & my boyfriend. I've met a few great people this year, thank god for that.

I should save more this year lol. Me & baby got a lot of plans this year, our one year, summer, perhaps the orlando trip we've been planning, new york?, whatever trip we have been planning etc. I also wanna be the best girlfriend I can be, as promises we're made. I've never been any happier being in a relationship with someone. I plan to keep it :). Love you babe.

Anyways, I'm not even making sense anymore, cuz I'm like getting ready lol

-dee

lol, seen this pic at klaudine's blog ;). Minds me of my boyfriend doing this to me all the time. Along with biting my cheeks and shit lol. Too much silliness in our relationship. Even play fights :).
Love you babe!

AH, I want a new phone. I'm so going somewhere tomorrow to get a new one. But I want something I can afford. Anyways, school soon. Things has been hectic with work. Me & baby saw Sherlock Holmes today, pretty sick, even if I fell asleep in the beginning. Work again tomorrow :( FML.

I hope you really prove to me this time.. I've been way too patient and I think I deserve to be treated like a princess once in awhile. I know you love me, but please prove to me that you really are sincere.

-dee

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

First of all, Merry Christmas everyone! I'm quite happy that I spent my Christmas with my whole family over at my grandparent's place. It was pretty fun, before opening presents yesterday before the clock hit 12 o'clock, we were all taking shots. It was pretty nice to drink with my family, knowing we all love alcohol except for my mom lol. But didn't drink that much cuz I know baby would get mad :). Anyways, slept over there last night with my cousins and didn't sleep til prolly this morning. We only had a few hours of sleep since my cousins body clocks are still catching up with our time here due to the fact that they just arrived from the Philippines. Anyways, yup. Got presents that I surprisingly loved and wouldn't just throw lol. Baby left for Blue Mountain this morning again, but this time without me, he left with his fam. So everyone was kinda bugging me where he is, the past three days. Hopefully he could be with us soon though =). AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! Speaking of today, the whole family went out for dinner tonight after reaching Pacific Mall. Now I'm home, too bad couldn't stay over for more days cuz I got work tomorrow.

My family was talking about how to spend the upcoming new years eve, and we haven't decided yet. But one idea was my aunt booking rooms at Sheraton Downtown, which isn't a bad idea cuz I would really want to go outdoor swimming while we have this weather, under warm water. Hopefully baby can come as well, I know he'd love it, since I brought him there over the summer to celebrate my little cousins birthday. Anyways, I got some new years resolution, that I have been thinking about, I'm only going to limit myself to some this year cuz I always end up not doing them, but I know if I'm motivated enough I can do anything.

Lol did you guys notice my layout, ya I kinda got bored of my old one, so I just went for the ones that they offer, but meh.. I think I'm going to change it when I can. Good news by the way, I PASSSSSED ALL MY CLASSES! I can't be more proud of myself for having an 82% average. Not all college students can achieve high marks like that. So happy, made my parents happy as well =).

- drs

oh man, it's so early, I'm going to work soon, but decided to update this while at it. I won't be seeing baby til iono. Hopefully he comes home on the 27th, like cross fingers. PLEASEEE baby come home that day. lol. Anyways while he's at Blue Mountain celebrating his holidays with family, ill be at boring Niagara lol. I'm pretty sure he'll have fun with some girls there.. lol kidding.. better not OR ELSE! But before we spend time away from each other, we saw each other last night. Thanks babe for coming to see me :) i'll miss our play fights :). I'll also tell Gabe how much you miss her :) and hopefully when you come back she's still with us so she can bug you :P. Anyways ill update more later I guess.

winter getaway.

So we finally reached Friday, our much anticipated getaway to Blue Mountain. Baby met up with me after my Marketing exam at SQ cuz we needed to buy some shampoo and shit. Then after buying shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste, movies, etc. we went to my house so I could finish up packing. Left around 1ish. Got to Blue Mountain around 5ish, it was pretty traffic but it's all good. Got to Blue Mountain, REALLY TIRED but we still managed to go to the gym and workout. After working out we went to the outdoor hot tub, frikking sick. I coulda stayed there forever, honestly. We enjoyed the view of the mountain and people skiing. & thanks to the Georgian Bay? was it? whatever it is, the hotel we stayed in, for giving us the view of mountains :) it was awesome. But ya, after staying in the hot tub, we went in the sauna to warm up. Before ending the night, we walked around the Village and just watched people ski. We called the night by ordering pizza & wings & watching home alone :). Saturday, went skiing.. two words, NEVER AGAIN. lol. I'm really not the type of girl that is down for guy things like that. At least I tried. Skied the whole day saturday & just stayed in our room for the night cuz we were tired, and we watched interview with the vampire, pretty sick. Today, I wished we didn't have to leave, it was really fun but still it was a short time. We checked out around 11. Got out hot chocolates, and walked around the village to watch people ski again. I'm still sore from working out. I had fun, I just wish I didn't have to be back to reality. I just can't wait til next time we get away somewhere. Thanks baby :)

- DEE

<3

ya you might make me sad sometimes, but i can't deny that you make me happy. no matter how pissed off i am at you, or we are at each other, we still find the way back to each others arms. you piss me off, i piss you off. but at the end of the day we would just end up cuddling and falling asleep on each others arms. after all, whats a relationship without arguing and fighting right? that's how you better a relationship, when you fight and get through everything. i know i love you too much to stay mad at you for a long time.

it was really nice seeing you yesterday cuz i haven't seen you thursday or friday due to stuff. but you looked really really cute on your formal wear ;). loved it, everyone did, even my mom did =P. i really appreciate everything you've been doing, not only for me, but for the church. everyone also appreciates it, they all love you :). i was so happy to see you yesterday, and almost fall asleep on your arms again :).

thanks for also seeing me today :) and bringing me to watch brothers! it was a good movie, reminded me so much of my childhood, i even teared a bit. when you told me, it reminds me of yourself and how you kinda see yourself when you snap, i say your right lol. i should just video tape you, and show you. so you'll realize. cuz no lie, you scare me when you're like that. regardless, i love you.

on the other hand, exam week. tomorrow i got math which isn't to be nervous about cuz im getting 99% in that class, no boosting. tuesday is a long day for me cuz of business presentation & communications exam, i'm at school til 6 =(. wednesday, no school, going to do my hair =] thanks mom in advanced for paying :). thursday, another long day, though i only have school from 4 - 6. friday marketing exam from 8-11, then off to blue mountain :).

anyways ill leave it here.

-ds

i hate that i love you.

why are you like that? why do you treat me like that? why? why? why do you always push me away? is it cause you don't wanna be with me no more? why? all i'm asking for is for you to be a gentleman to me. to want to please me and treat me like a princess. but why? why do you not want to do these things? i want you to just realize how much pain you put me through sometimes. i want you to feel every single bit of hurt that you make me feel, and maybe then you'll realize that you shouldn't do those to me. last time i checked, boyfriends were supposed to be the gentle man and the understanding one. they were also supposed to be the ones that are supposed to 'please' their girls. to make them happy, with all their being. but you, you don't. our cup is not half full anymore, it's half empty now. it's always been. i sometimes hate myself for loving you too much but what can i do, i choose to be patient with you and give you every chance possible. but the things you do to me are sometimes not acceptable. have you ever really thought of hearing me out? even just once. cuz you never once did. it all ends up to your opinion. that your opinion matters most. i hope you turn more open minded, at least even with me. i try to change all the things you complain about me, but have you tried? have you? cuz if so, please let me know. i'm starting to realize that maybe youre all talk and no action. im done pushing you to do the action, cuz i know you'd end up not doing it anyways. sometimes i think of your intentions for me, but i cnt seem to realize what it really is. i let it all out here because you never hear me out. i've cried, a lot, for you. i'm so jealous of the girls that have their perfect boyfriend, with their perfect relationship, with their boyfriend treating them like the princess ive always wanted to be treated. it's clear to me now, that you still don't know your priorities with me. i just wish that i meant more to you than i am now. and that you can actually show me. for now im done pursuing you. if you don't step up your actions, then i dont know. if you don't change the way you treat me, then i dont know. if you don't change the way you talk to me, then i don't know. im just really done with you always stepping on me. from now on, ill let you do your thing like how you wanna be. ill let you with your time, your school, your decisions. I also hate when you hear me cry, cuz i don't want you feeling pity for me, but when did you have pity? never. from loving you too much, i learned how to comfort myself when im crying late at night and you're not there beside me. i learned not to rely on you anymore cuz whenever i seek for it, you can never give it. you can never give me enough love you promised you would. you can never make me feel like im the one for you. sure we've been through a lot, but out of those 'a lot that we've been through' you never understood me, or even tried to.

-dee

Woke up today with snow on the ground. Geez, finally. Anyways, now is the perfect time to get in the spirit. But with the Christmas spirit along comes the stress. Stress especially with school. I just can't wait til school finish next week and we finally can go do our plans on our Winter list. Our little getaway to Blue Mountain =). Even if I don't know/want to go skiing I guess I'm down to try and learn new things.

I just had a call from my grandma saying to tell my mom that we're going to spend Christmas eve & Christmas at Niagara. It's pretty live at Sheraton with the indoor waterpark =). Then spend 26th & 27th at Sheraton downtown. ouu pretty excited. That Sheraton minds me of when me and baby spent time there for Nikki's birthday =)Even if my parents doesnt wanna go, I'm so going. Since baby is going somewhere that week.

Anyways guess thats bout it.

-DS

love invading your personal space

You told me nothing would change, you told me your feelings won't change, you told me this, you told me that. Yet I know that your feelings did change, everything changed, and I relied & trusted you with all my well being. The way we talk is different, the way you kiss me is different, the way you give me hugs is different, the way we walk is different, the way you show me how much I mean to you is different. Don't get me wrong, I'm noticing the littlest things because they mean the most to me. I don't know if it's shame that's making you do all these to me, but I've learned the hard way. I've learned not to care about others when something is important to me. You're probably the only thing that matters to me right now, yet it feels like I'm still the last one on the list. Honestly, sometimes I feel like you just see me as a friend and nothing more, like this wouldn't last so you're not making an effort. But why? WHY are you doing this? I feel like I'm just helpless, and that I always look dumb in front of you. Like all you think of me is an IMMATURE girl, that you look at me like I'm a kid. Well I can't help myself from being a kid at heart. I like flirting with you even with other people in front of us, I like having serious talks with you as well, and I love acting myself in front of you because I thought you would accept me for who I am. I love invading your personal space just because. I love watching you sleep, I can honestly stare at you forever. I just love when I feel like I'm the centre of your world, which isn't all the time. I love the fact that you make me feel special sometimes. All I'm saying is I love the little things. Why can't I just control you to do this little things as I say, a bit more than you usually do. To even hear you say you love me, means so much to me because you don't tell me it much anymore. You might say that oh that's the honeymoon stage. But to me, it's not! I want those little things to hang around and never change like how you changed them. This isn't my way of fighting with you, but it's my way of venting myself from the things I have been mustering up to tell you. I just can't seem to tell you due to the fact that you'll for sure think that I have the wrong intention. I mean I love you, SO MUCH that I just want to get to you. But I can't seem to. And it's sad...

x-mas wishlist.

For it's Christmas time once again,
the time we celebrate our greatest friend,
time full of wonder, season of glory,
Christmas time is here.. (8)

So here we go, what do I want for Christmas? Let me start with the important ones down to the material things =P

1) For my whole family to resolve their problems, it's sad that it's been a few years ever since arguments happened and we never really got to do our traditions. I mean I loved our Family traditions. I terribly miss my cousins. So please, look past each others flaws and differences and just make up please!

2) I kind of miss the old times, when me & my friends would just chill no matter how the weather was. It would be nice to have that back even just for a day. I know everyone chose a different path now that we're all grown, but it's nice to see each other and chill once in awhile. & this time would be the perfect time to let go of drama & start as new individuals.

3) As for my relationship, I want our love to grow more, the trust to never be broken, to be happy with each other, and to just accept each other for who we are. I also wish to move on to a new level, even if it means meeting some member of the family, or giving space to each other. Just being there for each other.

4) For my parents, to finally get over the personal family problems. I also wish for my mom to pass her upcoming board exam, so her life long dreams would finally be done.

5) A JOB! in this season, I couldn't ask for more but a job, I still need to get my loved ones gifts they deserved. & I need money to save up for school. I mean I've saved up from my previous job, but I'm running out.

6) A BLACKBERRY, I've been wanting a blackberry so bad, I've also been wanting to move back to Rogers or go to some other network and leave Koodo. Sorry Koodo, but you just can't seem to satisfy my needs, & I hate the fact that sometimes my txt messages are delayed. What if my life depended on that message? I would be dead by the time the other person gets my message!

7) LULULEMON: gift card, gray Groove Pant (size 2), Remix lulu Hoodie (size 2), white shape jacket (size 2), a Black/Purple I am great tote, or classic gym bag

8) FOREVER21: gift card =]

9) ARITZIA: gift card, Adidas sweater (black and white) size xs

10) SEPHORA or MAC: gift card

11) PURSES: ED HARDY (something that I can use for school, or just a regular purse), JUICY COUTURE, BETSEY JOHNSON, LACOSTE, COACH

12) Anything from JUICY!

13) COACH: Booney High Top sneaker, Barret Sneaker (size 5.5),or anything from Coach.

14) UGGS! size 5.5 or 6

15) HORNETS JERSEY! :) (size small or extra small)

15) Perfume.

16) Money.

17) D&G eye glasses

- um ya that's all I could think of..
not much but ya. =)

DEE

HAPPY 10 MONTHS <3

Ten months ago we were that couple that everyone thought wouldn't last for long. Maybe a few months or so. But look at where we are now. We had lots of circumstances that challenged us along the way. My love for you have also grown along the way, we started from scratch and look at our work. I'm proud to say that you're my man :). I still remember our first big argument when I caught you doing things behind my back that I hated, I asked you to come to my house, pick up your things & we have to talk. I thought to myself that you were nothing different than every guy that hurt me one of them including my real dad. I hate hated like I never hated anyone for a few moments, I remember we were in your car talking, I was trying to keep myself from crying because knowing me, I cry a lot. I told you to drop me off because I didn't want to see you again, I heard you sniff and just hug me and say sorry, that's when I knew you weren't the same Ray anymore. The Ray that everyone protrayed you to be, the player, the user, the liar, the etc. I know that that was the first time you sucked up your pride because you didn't want to lose me. It felt so great that I finally came to realize that you were capable of sucking up your pride lol. I just had to point it out, because I will never forget that moment. That was probably the moment when I told myself and God that I love you, because I never usually forgive. I even got in arguments with other girls for you. I just love every moment of us. I love your ways, your smile, your silliness, your stubbornness, etc. I don't even care what others think about you or us being together because nothing really matters to me now. I already found you & that's enough. I don't want to look for anyone better, because i know that you're the best for me. Even my whole family knows that. I just wish this will go on until we grow old, cuz im here always will be down to ride with you baby. No matter how much yelling and screaming and crying we go through I'm down, because this is life, it's not perfect. Ten months, it's our first two digit monthsary, and there's more to come. YEARS TO COME! I just hope that you also turn off that 'looking for the better' button in your system. I love you so much hun, always remember that.

Happy 10 Months!

Always,
DEE♥

weeeeekend.

Haven't been on this for awhile now. But just updating, Friday, I chilled with Lauren after like 37286487 years of not seeing her. We met up with Nicole. Chilled around for a bit then went home.. Took the bus with Athina & James, lol I felt like the old times when I would always be their third wheel. Anyways, baby came over, got some food & watched Face Off. Saturday, had practice at Tita Cheryl's house then went bowling with baby, brother, & cousin. Yesterday went to church & watched old dogs with baby...

Thats about it.. I have to work on my major projects..
.
ds

JINXED.

I knew it! I just jinxed something good. I pointed it out already but now it's like where else can I go but again.. downwards. TELL ME HOW I LOST MY JACKET! like wtf? who loses their jacket? anyways I shall get a new one. No school tomorrow yay =]. It's nice to hear about my old friends sometimes and ya.. I don't wanna blabber about whatever I heard. but ya I miss my baby, haven't seen him since saturday and I feel like u don't even care much no more, which sucks. But anyways Saturday, practice! lol.. baby be ready for your part =P

knock on wood.

I really don't wanna jinx anything but I really gotta post and tell u guys how happy I am. First, I'm relieved with school & second my relationship is going great. I don't want to point the good things out, but I just have to give credits to God. I prayed to him all the time, I always do. I believe that I honestly deserve what I'm getting right now due to working hard.
Thank you baby for spending Wednesday & Friday with me. I had lots of fun and honestly forgot about all the difficulties we have been having :). I just love playing around with you =] lol it's fun. It reminds me that I can always be a kid at heart when I'm with you. I love it. You said awhile ago before you left that it made you tired lol. GOOD! =P it's your fault! Anyways, Thanks for taking me to watch New Moon, even though it was early lol. & thank you for the Mcdonald's for breakfast, lol I'm such a pig. I beat you in SCENE IT :).
Tomorrow, good luck to my brother with his game. They better win, too bad me & baby can't watch cuz it's too early. I'm pretty sure we'd still be sleeping at 9:30am lol. But I'm seeing baby tmrw, bringing him along to my Tito's Condo at Lakeshore, pretty sure he'd fall in love with it lol. My little cousins are going to be there so he won't be bored ahah.

Anyways I'll leave it here. pretty tired.. it's already 1:08am.
*yawn*

- DEE

RELIEVED.

Geez, thank you Lord for getting me through the day. Today was probably one of the most stressing day I've had in school. First I had a Math Exam, then I had to finish my marketing project, then Humanities exam. On top of that the weather is screwed, it's raining. Oh well tomorrow baby is skipping again :) which should be fun. Honestly, I need a new job. PLEASEEE LORD!!

Good news, my family member from the Philippines are coming here. My cousins that I'm really close with when I was still there. I miss them, and I can't wait for them to come. :)

No school tomorrow. yay

look who's talking.

today was pretty sick. Didn't have school as usual so baby skipped school for once after a long time & spent the day with me from the moment I woke up til like 10 minutes ago which is like 10:15ish. My mom cooked us some breakfast lol, then we finished watching the Shining & Nightmare on Elm Street. Although I fell asleep during Nightmare of Elm St.. aha, I got ready after & we went out & I got baby scene it for ps3 & bubble teas & snacks. Got home again and watched look who's talking, the babies were cute. Honestly we got bored aha & played Modern Warfare 2 with my brother & two of his friends. I even ended up playing ahah. Baby helped me study for my exam for a bit while my dad & brother were playing NBA 2k10 lol. thanks babe for telling me it's bad to memorize lol, that's the only way I actually can study & it's been getting me far so far =P. Lol, Carlo got beat on 2k10 by baby using Oklahoma city thunder. Anyways, hopefully I pass that Humanities exam, & I also have my second last exam on Math tomorrow. Thanks baby for skipping and spending the day with me, honestly we haven't spent a weekday together in a long time. & I appreciate it :). Even if we just chill the whole day it all worth it :) I loved today. I LOVE YOU!

Anyways, I was talking to Lauren for a bit the other day, and it was nice catching up for a bit. I miss the old days, like what she said on her blog. But whatever is bound to happen will happen, and hopefully those days would come back. No matter what, all my friends, new or old, plays/played a big part in my life.

- DEE

p.s.
i learned how to crack my nose aha babe =p

Haven't updated in awhile. But I have a lot to do this week in terms of school. Major projects, Exams, Assignments, & Essay. SHIT MY LIFE. I also got my new D&G glasses :) that's why I wanted for Christmas :). But damn it cost 600$ for everything. But I'm covered 400. So only had to pay 200 not bad. But anyways, last night was sad but my eyes are now opened. I gotta let loose and let you live your life the way it should be lived. I'd rather be with you when you got time for me than not be with you at all. I'm giving you freedom now, but it doesn't mean my feelings will change. I'm doing this because I love you too much. I know that a little sacrifice and a lot of understanding will make this better. I didn't know you were holding that much from me. I thought I was your best friend but surprised that you told me these things just now. But better late than never.. regardless I love you.

Someday.

Having my internet screwed up for the past days and now its back up and running. I just failed my marketing test today I think. Nothing really to update about but watching 2012 tonight with babe.

-
You don't have to be tough every minute of every day.
It's okay to let down your guard.
In fact, there's moments when it's the best thing you could possibly do;
as long as you choose those moments wisely.
At the end of the day,
you either focus on what's tearing you apart,
or what's holding you together.


DEE

NTS: I SHOULD STUDY MORE.
lol, I know I might sound like a grade grubber sometimes but it's funny that whatever tests I do, IS REALLY HARD. And I know I work hard, I at least try to. But anyways, I honestly think I failed my business exam today because I didn't study that hard. But I hope I pass.. *cross fingers* I have one more test to do this week and I better start on my projects.. meeh.. this is gay.

geez, it's already week 10 of school. 6 or 5 more weeks of school and first sem is done.. this week i have two tests & majors projects due soon. i should be studying right now but i just want to update.

i feel so disappointed that i can't even spend any of those two important days with you. especially with one being our 11 months. all I can do is blab about being disappointed yet can't really do anything about it. i mean i understand the situation it just makes me sad though. oh well. =(

TGIF =]

THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY!! lol.. as usual I didn't reach my 8-11 class because I was too lazy. It's kind of pointless to go honestly. Anyways, Baby came to pick me up yesterday night after school. Thanks babe, even though you made me wait for like 9436 hours while I froze my ass there lol. Me and baby chilled at my house for a bit. & got messy aha. We watched knocked up. Anyways I have to study. lol.. I have exams this coming week and I need major studying to maintain my marks.

FML

geez, I feel as if I'm on rock bottom. My internet is down =( fuck my life. But honestly I can't control all these happenings, so I'm here to face them. I hate my life right now, but there are things that are keeping me from hanging on that piece of string such as, boyfriend, friends, & family well not really family. But no matter what my family has always been soldiering it out. Anyways, I think I really need a getaway from all these scenes. Perhaps like that Niagara night with baby. But ya ill leave it here, I'm doing this from a wireless that I'm found lmao.. I got an exam tomorrow, I need to study. Must I say I'm getting an overall 82% average on my midterms :) proud of myself. I only have to improve on my lowest mark, Marketing. I'm getting a 69 =( .. I really want to see baby tomorrow since I think that's all that can bring me up after all these downs I have been having lately. But I doubt I will because he's busy =( oh well.. I got school til 6 tomorrow.. So good luck to me.. =(

rewrite the memories

Trust me, I wish I could rewrite everything. I wish that I had that power in my hands to correct all the wrongdoings we did to each, all the hurtful words we have said to each other. But I can't no one can, all we can do now is work on what we have. Like how we worked on this with nothing at all maybe even less than nothing from past experiences we had from each other. I know that we have the ability, but we just choose not to do jack shit about it. Pardon my language but it really is getting into me now. All I can think of is make it better, try to make it better, and hope it works. I know you do too. But the sad thing is nothing works. The minute I realize I should loosen up a bit and actually do it and be nice and understanding to you. It is the exact same time you do to me, what you don't want me doing to you. Yes, I did say we can never get along, I know you know we can't. All our efforts go in the garbage. Why can't we make it well worth the effort? I am sick and tired of not trusting you, taking your time from everything, being selfish over you, accusing you of things, and so much more. So I won't. I trust you, but like what I said, you don't have to keep secrets and lies to me because I would rather hear it from you straight up than hearing it sooner or later from another source. But I'm also sick of you not trusting me & accusing me of things I don't do when we're not together. See that's the main reason why I want you all for myself all the time, so you know that 'I'M ALL FOR YOU' as you say. Give me the benefit of the doubt because I have been trying to understand your motives with this kind of attitude. But I won't go on yapping about how your this and I'm this and we're this. I've said these things many times and hope that it gets to you & you finally see the bigger picture not just the literal things. I miss everything as well, but what can we do now? Nothing but make what we have better. But like what I always say it's up to you to put me where you want in your life. Because for sure you're the first on my list and positioned in the middle in my heart. I don't have any past times to replace you. Because I can do that on the side but I can't do you on the side. It's like you're the main course of the meal. I know you take me the wrong way all the time, and to be honest, I don't like it. I don't like when you get mad at me for not receiving my text msg after a few minutes, so try being in my shoes, what do you think I feel when you ignore me when you're busy doing something else? I'm not going to tell you because I want you to realize the little things we both do. I hope it just hits you soon that if no one works on it, nothing will happen. If we don't put an effort to it, it will turn out shit. I just want you to realize that if we lose this, it will never happen again.

Now it's really up to you..
I have given enough support and patience, that I'm afraid I might be running out. So don't let that happen please. Thanks.

-dee

9 months <3

First off, HAPPY 9 MONTHS BABY!! yesterday made me realize how much I really love you. Your absence made me realize how much you really mean to me. Not even 5 minutes after it happened, I just started bawling my eyes due to the fact that I was helpless and lost. I really am grateful for you and for the times we have been through no matter how happy or sad they were. Yesterday also made me realize that I truly have never felt like this. For some odd reason, I don't know why, Me & YOU makes me weak. I apologize for being such a bitch sometimes. It's because I'm paranoid. I never meant anything I have said that hurted you. I also apologize for not being the perfect girlfriend, but no one is perfect so I hope you accept all these sincere apologies from my heart. I know that no matter what we can get through whatever, whenever, however. I love you so much. 3 more months and it's our one year. I'm so looking forward to it. You better make a big surprise =P lol kidding. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

always,
DEE / MONKEY =]

cute

Katie & Tom's daughter Suri, IS SOOO CUTE. She's so going to grow up pretty.
I love her eye color.

So yesterday, I missioned myself downtown to meet up with baby at Union Stn. It took me quick to get there. He finished school around 4 and we walked around for a bit before heading to ACC to watch that Raptors home opener. We were even walking with the Raptors coach, Jay Triano. Lol baby kept dragging me & making me walk fast. Anyways, hands down to the Raptors, they beat Cleveland by 10 points I think? But ya the frikking ref was shit. Everything else was good. Reminded me of the Orlando game I watched with baby last season. Next game, HORNETS! :)

Today, I was really tired. School was shit, the only good thing was I got a ride home. Math test was urgh, HARD! Hopefully I pass. But anyways COMM was okay, we had a sub. THANK THE LORD lol. Didn't go to my humanities class cuz I was tired. My mom picked me up from Sq and made me drive my brother to his practice. Just cuz it's his birthday I brought him lol. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARLO !

Tomorrow, me & baby are chilling for the whole day, I'm not gun go to school cuz it's pointless. but ya whatever..

I'll post the pictures from the Raps game when I get the chance too.

-Dee

First off, HAPPY 19th JASJIT, wish you all the best, it's so fun being on your group, all of us plus other people from other groups have been very close lately, and it's so fun when we're all together lol. I bet you liked the card we all made for you ahaha, it's the thought that counts!

So today, went to Humanities and we just basically talked about our essays that are due next monday, I gotta work on mine, I'm halfway through but I gotta do some editing ans shit. Math class was okay, I have a test on thursday so I gotta practice to get a high mark. After Math, Me, Jasjit, Manprit, Eduardo, Malcolm, Dave, & Axcel went to eat in the cafe. We just chilled there for a bit until we had to go home. Now I gotta try to finish my paper after I eat dinner and lalala. Baby has intramural today, & I hope he brings me one day to watch his games *coughcough* lol.

So the weekend was okay, stayed home on ugly friday, saturday me & baby just chilled, oh and we watched saw 6, it was gory. sunday, just stayed home & studied. I so can't wait this for this wednesday, RAPTORS HOME OPENER! =]

Whatever I gotta go, this is pointless.

-dee

rain rain go away ..

Wednesday was a day off I slept in, & went to the optical place to order my new D&G glasses. I ordered 4, and see how they look & decide from there. My recent glasses are crusty & shit lol. Thursday, math class was okay, got take-home quiz & test next week, FUCK MY LIFE. A week full of test is coming once again I believe it's the week of Nov. 9th. So I should start studying. COMM was okay, we had a debate that about it & got our tests back, I GOT 29/30 I'm so happy lol. Then Humanities was okay, it was jokes. We talked bout marriage & it's ups & downs all that bull crap. Baby picked me up from Westwood, thanks babe. Today was urgh, crazy? lol I actually listened in class for the first time ever, my new prof makes it more interesting. Anyways, after that went home & here I am about to go nap, do some homework, & study. WOW no life much? But whatever. We were all supposed to work out today & pay some ball after but I guess that didn't happen lol. There's always next time. On the other hand baby went to Ottawa today :( left me! but it's okay he has some family things going on, he better behave. But ya, he just recently texted me to tell me that we're going to the home opener =] yay. I also hate how people overreact over the littlest things, like mind your own business. People has their own lives, you gotta learn how to let it go. So it's either shut up or nut up. Whatever I'm done, I got better things to do.

- DEEEEEE.

(8) who's gun run this town tonight ..?

Today, I was almost late for our presentation. My intro to business class was supposed to present something about our BizCafe project. Ours was sick. After our presentation, class was so fun we talked about our lesson & had a lot of laugh. I love that class, it's too fun. I love my group as well lol. After that class I went to the community connections presentation along with Jasjit, Malcolm, Eduardo, Axcel, Cassandra, Mike, & Manprit. It was fun, everyone gave me their tickets cuz they all already went last friday. But I still didn't win anything. I almost though =P. Then COMM class was canceled, our prof didn't even show up. I got home and baby surprised me by coming over =). Thanks for seeing me today babe! good! cuz that kinda makes up for you being away for Friday. Anyways baby & brother played his new game, AGAIN. lol.. but ya it's whatever to me now, boys will always be boys. Anyways i don't even know what to say... OH YAAA I watched frikking Paranormal Activity.. SPOOOOOKED ME OUT! lol.. whatever I don't even wanna talk about it cuz I won't fall asleep again. I'll blog again whenever...

-dee

human perfection.

Imagine everyone had a surrogate, something that can help you live a perfect life by just lying down on a bed connected to a machine? And you get to create you're own personality, appearance, and everything. Cool huh? But nah, I'd rather live me, on my own. After all nothing & no one is perfect.

Didn't go to school today.. Right now I just finished eating pizza with my family for dinner, everyone is going out tonight, Dad & brother are going to Kuya Nicoh's place to help prepare for the donations for Philippines. Mom is going to go study I think. & I'm going out with baby to watch Paranormal Activity.. Better not be scary or else.. lol.. Anyways I'm really thinking of moving phone company I want a blackberry or an iphone.. iono we'll see.

- dee

HUMANITIES!

Thank God for my laptop, it's honestly a life saver lol. I'm currently in Humanities class, and one word, BORING! we're talking bout Malcolm X i don't even know what my prof is talking bout. But anyways, I can't wait to finish, baby is picking me up at Westwood.. I feel like shit like maybe I should go to the doctors. meh .. I dont even know what to talk bout.. FML!

BRODY JENNER & JAYDE NICOLE ♥
fat lady at the back ruined the picture

LONG WEEKEND.

So what did I do during the weekend? Pretty much nothing. Sunday, went to church & had dinner with everyone. FOOD FOOD FOOD! Baby came over for a bit and watched G.I. Joe. Yesterday my parents made me drive all the way to Caledon which made my ass cramped lol. It was a long drive though the roads were empty. We drove around Belfountain, that place is nice I kinda want to go back to just stroll, but not now, perhaps when it gets warm. Then went to Kuya Nicoh's place to drop off things for our donations for people in the Philippines that were affected by the storm. We also got one more box to fill cause all those donations are due on Friday. Anyways, went home, got ready & waited for baby to come over, we went out for a bit & watched Invention of Lying, it was jokes. Today was my first day back from school after the long weekend. Intro was okay, it was fun, we had to build structures and stuff with our group, and like always my group wins =] honestly we're so organized & we always get our work done, we're probably the only team that doesn't have any problems lol, which is good cuz hard work pays off. Comm was okay, I finished class early since I finished my in-class assignment early. I have another test on Thursday. I also got the results on the two subjects that I had a test on last week. Mind you, these two subjects are the classes that I'm most confused at & I didn't study that much since I couldn't understand it anyways. That's what I get for not reading lol. But I got 70% in both which is good compared to tons of people that studied & failed. I felt really sick throughout the day but I had to soldier it out and stay because I didn't want to miss anything. I just hope it doesn't turn out to be a flu. No school tomorrow, I'll probably pick up my yearbook from Goetz. I'm just waiting for baby to call me since I miss him like crazy =(.. I just hate my paranoia, which might turn out true.. Hopefully not.


Duke & The Baroness ♥

- dee

So watched couple's retreat last night, it was so funny. I so wanna watch it again.. Came home just before 2 last night, iono what's up today.. I should get ready soon cuz baby's picking me up.. It's pretty nice out. & I just wanna blabber lol. Im so happy I can chill for a bit with school.. I'm still a bit disappointed that we can't watch the home opener anymore cuz stupid ticket master sold our tickets! & there's no way im sitting in fron of baby, so i guess no more home opener, but baby said he'll watch it with me at home so that would be fine. meh.. ill update later, that was useless.

FINA - fuckin - LY

I finally finished my long dreaded week. The week where I was stressed & freaking out every morning before I go to school & txt my boyfriend & friends that 'I am FREAKING out' every morning lol. I have more shit to do, but I need a break! Good thing it's a long weekend which gives me more time to relax.. NOT! I have to do so much, I got projects & assignments that are worth A LOT!.. This school week is also pretty good for me, I'm starting to get a hang of the people & the change in my life. I knew there was going to be a big change, and I was prepared. Sometimes, I feel like I miss my old friends, but if they don't really give two fucks, I can't either.. Clearly it's different now, people that said they're with you to ride & die didn't commit to it. So concluding that, I also concluded that I can never rely on anyone but myself. I can't trust anyone but myself. But anyways today sucks, it's so ugly outside. I'm probably gun go out with baby, I wanna watch Couple's Retreat =]. & perhaps dinner? I don't know we'll see.. Ill update later on.

always
dee.

SO, my second test is over.. Honestly this was my first time ever writing a test and taking the whole time writing it. I honestly tried my best and hopefully I don't fail. Tomorrow is my day off & I still gotta study. I'm prolly going to go job hunt tomorrow since I need a job and I don't want to spend all my savings. Thursday I got I think COMM test & Business Math test & frikking 2.5 hours of HUMANITIES!. I hate Thursdays!.. But baby said he's going to pick me up so that's fine =]. Baby came over today as well, and we watched the pre-season game of Raptors against Sixers. He helped me with some of my marketing stuff for friday & watched my brother play baby's 2k10 game. Boys & their video games.

Anyways gotta work on my pc class online. FUCK MY LIFE.
NTS: come up with an ad for BizCafe project.

it's just a TEST!

Today was my first test ever in college, I've had quizzes but there's nothing worst than studying so hard for a test. Since I never really done that before. The minute Andrew my prof, gave out our papers it was so nerve racking. But right when I skimmed through it I realized there was really nothing to worry about since I studied. Hopefully I passed the test. I got another one tomorrow which means I have to study after this post so I can be ready. Anyways, I kind of want to vent out, thank god for my blog. I don't know if it's just me but I feel like everything is going downhill. I feel like I'm slowly losing you & your love. Maybe I'm just jealous, there's nothing wrong with that but the worst part is the only time when we can make the best out of each other we end up fighting and not getting along. I feel like you're slowly turning to be a different person, or slowly growing apart from me. I hate thinking this way because I know I shouldn't but I can't stop myself. The point is it's reality, I know I can't always have your time. I better get used to it before this buggin kills me. All i know is that I hate all the what if's I have in mind.. Everything is hurting me as of now. I don't know what will happen.. I'm just sick and tired of getting hurt. & it's hard not to care because even when I say I don't care, I still do no matter what. The way you talk to me now is so different from the way you talked to me before. I hate it. I hate this feeling. You have lost feelings for me, or losing them because from what I can see you are occupied with the other things that make you happy, I can't stop that. But just to let you know, it's not I LOVE U, it's I LOVE 'YOU'. I'll leave you to think about our relationship and how to make it better, I'm counting on you this time cuz I've ran out of things to do.. Regardless, I Love You TOO MUCH. I know it's just a test, and we'll get over it. Whatever is meant, will happen.

always,
dee

FML

Gosh, this week will probably be the last week of school that will be stress-free for me. I have a test on each subject for the whole week next week. Now what I have to do is be focused, since I haven't been that focused. In high school I didn't really study that much, the only time I studied was for exams. But now is my time to study my ass off or I'm toast. I also got big ass projects on the side which means more stress. I kind of miss high school due to the fact that I didn't have to study that hard, or even focus. So kiddies in high school right now enjoy your years of it, because trust me you will miss it. Right now I'm studying Humanities, it deals with like philosophers and shit..

Anyways, Happy Belated 8th month baby, yesterday was mine & baby's 8th month. Thanks for the bracelet =] I love it.. I know we have been having conflicts with our relationship but we somewhat get through them together..
Might sound repetetive but just to let you know that I ....
love when you turn all childish on me, love when you playfully wrestle me and pin me lol, love when all we do is laugh and be silly, love when you teach me how to play sports =], love when you show off your ball skills to me, love when you eat everything possible and don't care, love when you play video games with my brother, love when you play and baby my little cousins like how i baby them, i love when you hug me and never let go, i love your kisses, i love waking up to your txt in the morning, love when you hold my hands, love when after we have a big fight and i'm just crying you would just kiss me and everything will be fine, love the fact that you make me happy and make me smile, love when you make my parents/grandparents/family love you off, love when you would take me to places i've never been before, love when you'd bite me, love when you massage me, love when you play with my hair, love when you let me sleep on your lap like i slept on my mom's lap when i was a little girl, love when we just fall asleep on my bed,

I also love when..
you hold my hands while I'm sleeping in your car, when you act all cute to impress me, when you treat me like im your bestfriend, when you stare at me while im sleeping and i constantly catch you or look at you, when you make me brave towards the scariest things ever, when you scare me so i can slap you lol, when I ask you to wear this and wear that basically dressing you up but you don't listen to me, when it's just pure laughs, when i know you swallow your pride for our relationship, when you watch me put on make-up, when you pick me up from school or go to church with me. when you help me study and make me understand the things i don't, when you vent out on me when you know you can, when you let me vent out on you cuz i know i can, when you always get what you want but you dont sometimes lol, when you get jealous over the littlest things.

There's so much more I can't think of right now, but over all, this is all love.. My unconditional love for you that will always stay =]

I LOVE YOU .. happy 8 months!

always,
dee♥

HEY BABY!♥

I so wanna see Chris Paul =)!

Stayed home today since I was too lazy to go to school.. I wish baby was here =( ..
I don't really know what to blog.. but yaa, I guess I'll do some school work on blackboard ..

-dee.

back on track..

So baby picked me up from school for the first time yesterday, thanks babe, that saved me the hassle of commuting since I finished at 6 and it was mad traffic, I'd rather spend the traffic with you than sit my ass on the bus lol. We ate dinner after and chilled at my house.

All I can say is OH EM GEE, I can't believe I actually made use of GYM at my school lol.. I went to do some cardio today after class since Ross, my prof, let us out early at exactly 10.. so I was at the gym til prolly round 11:45 ish, I also saw the LINX PUB that opened last night.. It's pretty chill in there, there's pub night every thursday.. The only downer is I'M 18! like wtf, why can't I be 19? lol oh well, I don't think baby would want me to go there anyways.. Maybe when I turn 19, I shall bring him, and have some fun, and perhaps do it every thursday =P.. Anyways, I got lots to do for school & I should get my ass to doing them, OR I WOULD BE STRESSED! like how I was on wednesday, very stressed because I wanted to finish everything. Some serious shit.. Today was so cold outside, honestly I'm sad, I hate the weather.. I also feel like I'm getting sick due to the weather.. But see, now I can't get sick because I got school, I have to be in there no matter how much I hate it. Maybe I should ask babe to skip one day next week, and I should skip too =] since I haven't lol.

Honestly, I need to go shopping, I feel like school have been occupying myself forever, I need new boots, fall clothes, etc. I should make a list of what I need to buy before the ugly weather comes.

- New TNA pants ( different color )
- Another ADIDAS Sweater ( different color )
- Lulu-lemon track pants, I really want the grey one
- Lulu-lemon sweater ( white )
- Ed Hardy Purse ( for school )
- Boots
- I need new UGGs
- fall coat

.. etc

fuck, i need to get myself back on track ..

So now I'm just waiting for baby to come pick me up and he wants to go watch Pandorum, I don't even know what that movie is about but all I can is SHOREEE lol. I better update bout the movie later ..

- dee

Haven't been in this since Friday, wow the weeks are going by so fast, I'm already half way done my 3rd week of school.. 12 more weeks and I'm done my first sem.. I'm only on my third week of school and I'm already packed with projects, homework, quizzes, tests, etc. that's kind of one reason why I don't blog that much no more. I got more important things to worry bout. I'm kind of getting the hang of college no lie, it's way better than high school. High school is drama here drama there.. OMG, one more week then it's already mine & baby's 8 months =] I'm excited, he said he's planning something.. hmmm I wonder what it is.. We're already making fall/winter plans lol.. Including, Raptors home opener, Blue Mountain again?, um Halloween stuff, etc. I got so much more to do for school. Thank god for my day off from school today, I got to do all the projects & homework I needed to do.. But I'm waiting for baby to help me with one of them.. meeeh I'm not even making sense anymore..Ill prolly download music, then update my ipod & wait for baby ..

blog later..
dee

F M L !

holy mother, can you say BORING. I'm in marketing class right now & I don't know why. It started at 8 so I had to wake up at 5, for the record I've never woken up that early for school in my life ever. I find it so hard to concentrate.. All I hear is BLAH BLAH BLAH lol. I gotta get out of here, I'm hungry... I can't wait til 11:45 when it finishes. Lol, the person that's sitting beside me is doing his Math homework, I bet we're not the only one that is bored.. 2nd week of school is already ending, 13 more weeks and the semester is over.. I better get my head in the game, or else I'm going to fail, BIG TIME......

ANYWAYSSSSS, I don't know what else to write about cuz my mind is completely out it's own thing right now. but whatevssssssssssssssssssss.

I'll blog later..

-dee

Second week of school, already half way done.. damn! I saved a lot on my books that i doubt I'll use lol. Paid like 60 for two books, but I already spent 300 on two books.. Started my computer course last night & it killed me I never knew Microsoft Office could be so hard but whatever. During my break went to the photocopy centre with Kamini. Intro to Business was okay today, we did some group work, and I got more in my hands than I can imagine. So what I'm going to do is use my day off tomorrow to get my hands on things that I should do & try to finish them as soon as possible. I also gotta start bringing my laptop to school, I really hate writing. I really think I wanna buy my COMM book though, just the other half of it cuz it's pretty cool. Anyways, I also found my way to the gym today, I got lost and finally found it, I should make use of it since its free.

Change topic...
I was thinking, I miss my boyfriend, I'm so used to seeing him all the time for example after work or school, even when it would just be a few hours to play ball or go to the park, or even go to the mall, or have dinner. I miss those days, I know we will have it again most likely next summer. I feel like school & work have been occupying both our time for each other, that sometimes we're too tired to event talk at night like the usual. All these reason lead to arguments. See I'm used to not seeing my boyfriend then missing them and not fighting with them, and when I see them it's like the happiest moment. But I mean things change, now I'm used to seeing my Ray almost everyday and missing him minutes after we depart from each other. I can never get sick of spending time with him no matter what we're doing, or even if we're having the biggest argument alive. I'm just tired of arguing, I feel really shitty knowing that instead of building that missing-ness we have for each other and make up for it when we see each other, we argue.. It's sad, but hey I'm all for this guy, I'm positive. I hope and pray that things change and go for the better.. I mean I have faith that it will. Every big thing needs hard work right..

Anyways gotta do my school work, blog later..

-dee

@#$%^&*

I finally got over the first week of school, it was a good first week, I still need to buy my books I should do that this week, perhaps tomorrow, so I can start my other school work. Two classes tomorrow, boring ones lol. 14 more weeks til the semester is done =] .. Anyways me and baby watched White out on Friday, after trying to find some Nike Hyperize. Saturday went to Yorkdale to pick up his shoes & watch Sorority Row. Then went to my house afterward, baby helped me with my blackboard assignment, thanks baby :).. Then chilled, must say that Krispy Kreme donuts get me sugar high. Loved the talk I had with baby, at least we came up with some clearing bout our relationship. Im going to miss baby again =( won't see him til Friday night.. which is gay, then I don't see him on Sundays anymore either.. I can't wait til Christmas Break.. I was supposed to go to church today but no.. So I decided to just do my quizzes on blackboard. I guess ill blog later..

ciao

Second Day of school

today was the second day I was in school cuz I didn't have school yesterday. I had a class at 10, I had to bus myself to school, I left around 715ish at square one & got to school around 840ish, so I had to wait. I got in my class, its called PC Essentials and it was so crowded like a mothafucka, just to find out that there was two classes mixed together but guess what, I only have to go to that class 3 times this semester =] only when I have tests everything else is going to be in the computer, pretty cool huh? I got out early of that class because there was nothing to do, the prof said we could leave if we want to, so I did & met up with Klaudine at the computer lab. Gosh I hate that place, it's full of people. Then Jelai, Klaudine, Me & Apple went to the cafe to meet up with Kristina and David & Jeric. Chilled there until my next class started which was Business Math, some shit like that and omgaah I hate that class, it's so boring, prof is monotone, and we already started with a lesson, it's not bad though, it's straight forward math. An hour break after that. Next class was Communications, we didn't really do anything, next was Humanities, geez that class was a lecture, meaning there was 200 or more students, it was so frikking hot in there, all we did was watch CSI. Im in that class til 610, like what the heckk... Tomorrow got class at 8 til 11, yay I get to take the car.. hopefully I'm not late ..

Guess I'll blog later

sleeping in, on a school day.

so didn't really get any sleep last night cuz of certain things. good thing I called baby around 5 and started talking to him from them on til maybe round 9 then i passed out. I woke up around 230. I have school again tomorrow til 6 which is very bummy, but i guess i'll just wait til friday I only have school til 11 & i'm seeing my baby, finally. I haven't seen him since monday, & he wants another tat on his arm, but i said no cuz he already have 5. it's up to him though, if he wants to die then go for it lol. so i was going through klaudine's blog and omg this guy is sex Brent Javier, sexy guy sexy name lol. he's some model from the philippines. are you girls ready to see my new husband? lol

back to school

So, the last two days of my summer was fun, baby brought me to the CN tower, thanks babe =] it was romantic. Then watched Extract yesterday, it was funny.

Today was the first day of school, holy crap so much people.. I got to my first class, it was okay, the prof kept on talking and talking pretty fun class basically it's called intro to business, all our work is all gun be in blackboard (online). we did some ice breaker activities to get to know people and stuff. My second class was the most boring, crap I hate that class, communications, meaning write write write.. and I have that class twice a week =(. No school tomorrow yay. lol

NTS:
1) get my books which will kill me, they cost almost 1000$ altogether if i get new ones
2) finish my first assignment, which is create my profile worth 3%
3) buy school supplies
4) call work

SUMMER 09

watched every movie possible, you name it we watched it + over night at niagara + wonderland season pass + zoo + ontario science centre + drive-in movie + eating at different food places ex. all you can eat sushi at scarborough, frankie tomatoes @ markham, denny's, rainforest cafe, etc. + work + mad shopping + downtown + sheraton hotel to party, swim, & work out + bowling + blue mountain/collingwood + road trips + tornadoes + rain + sleeping in + playing the newest video games + chilling with family + baking + birthday + g2 + taro bubble tea from the chase + basketball + etc.

**
so basically those were the highlight of my summer, I didn't expect much from this summer but I was wrong. I proved myself wrong, like what they say expect the unexpected. Not to mention this is my first summer with the boyfriend, and it was fun we so made the best out of it. There's 3 days left before school starts and we're still continuing to make the best of what's left. After this summer is a next chapter of my life I'm excited yet scared at the same time, I know I'll be okay though, I have all the support I need. And I can't wait til Summer '10. But before that Fall/Winter/Spring first ..

hmm, WWE/RAW live? RAPTORS home opening? CHRIS PAUL? CHRISTMAS BREAK! perhaps go somewhere for SPRING BREAK? .. lol

anyways I'll blog later.. gotta get ready cuz me & baby are going out ..

-dee

i just hate the fact that you can make me terribly sad,
yet love me so much at the very same time, & still love
you with all my heart..

"God talk to me now this is an emergency.."
- Kanye West

LAYOUT

new layout, it was asking for a new one lol. perhaps i should change baby's layout as well? maybe, maybe not. but ya basically just went to grands today & chilled, got home to sleep, and now waiting for baby to call. miss him already.

I just came to a realization that I only have a week left before school starts, & it's not just the regular high school routine I was used to, it's college time, no more baby-ing and skipping classes, time to take things seriously & let go of the past and other things that won't help me be successful in the future.. Well I have been trying, it's hard but it's good, seeing life in a, 'when one door closes another opens' perspective.

Anyways, 7 months ago I was a completely different girl that I am now. Yes I said girl, because girls doesn't know what they want, doesn't know their priorities etc, and I admit it I was like that. Going crazy over boys, acting like I was cool just because I was smoking or drinking or skipping classes or lying to my parents even. Now I can proudly say that I am a grown up young adult that got over those little childish ways. And other than my supporting family and left friends, one person made a big impact of what I am now, and how I make my decisions now..it's him, he knows who he is no need to blabber his name, but off course I have to mention that it's our 7 months today. Don't got much to say but over everything I want to say thank you for being you, for not being a different person around me, or my family, the realness you show every minute of everyday. Thank you for supporting me, and not being afraid to yell at me when I'm wrong, and not hesitating to forgive me when I apologize for the stupid things. For the moments we have spent, I still can't find myself to get sick of you lol. Thank you for changing for me, for seeing what is inside me and not the outside, for telling me I'm beautiful even though I know you're shitting me lol jks, for all the silliness, for the tears that you have caused that made me realize how worth it they are. I can't thank you enough and you know that, the only way I know I can pay you back is by being a good girlfriend, being faithful, and being all for you. Most of all thank you for loving me. I know this doesn't make sense but you know what I mean, you also know why it doesn't make sense, cuz love doesn't make sense ;) lol.. HAPPY 7 MONTHS BABE ♥

-
enough cheesyness, today was baby's last day off from his week vacay. We did pretty much what was planned except for CN tower, We watched Holloween 2 on Friday then headed off to Niagara, ate at Rainforest Cafe and instead of our regular seat beside the fountain this time we sat beside three gorillas which baby made fun of. Saturday we watched The Final Destination at Yorkdale, and chilled. Sunday was chilling day, took my car to drive and get our fav bubble tea and rented movies, Yesterday we went to Wonderland then watched District 9 at Collosus at Vaughan, then today is our 7 months, chilled at my house, played video games, went to the park to play football :) lol, and ate at Denny's, speaking of..IM STILL FULL, i don't think i will eat for another 10 years lol, then baby came over to install my printer to my laptop =] and tmrw is just cleaning day for me, and perhaps go out with cate =] .. we'll see.

anyways my mind is falling asleep, ill blog later

-dee

updattttessss

haven't blogged in what maybe a week now? my last blog was the pics from collingwood. But I should update this, perhaps what has been happening & probably get a new layout. Well pretty much have days off this week and next & it's pretty sick since baby has a week off too. I finally got my laptop :) white sony bitch! lol. I also got a new ipod :) been chilling with baby pretty much everyday going places and such :) it's nice cuz it feels like such a late summer aha. But whatevs it's worth it. At least we did all the list on our summer to do's =] I'll end it here, and blog some more when I got time. So long ..

- dee

Collingwood

before leaving


"little big family" lol

with baby & brother


i love this fag :)

Alysha & I

Baby & god daughter jana, HIS favourite little kid :)

Baby bugging my brother lol

Me, Nicah & Alysha

Almost everyone


lol against baby on that hula game thing

LOL @ my brother

before playing ball

Me & Jezz, realllllly tired lol.


Anyways, the weekend was fun. I just can't wait for next year :)
Im gun get my laptop on thursday or friday soo goodbye to this old ugly laptop lol
=]

weekend getaway.

The past few days have been rough, actually the past few months. Losing people in my life is not that pleasant of a thing to hear, but like what they say, when one door closes another opens. I thank God of what I have regardless, especially family, boyfriend, & remaining friends. I must say I have my up & down moments once in awhile, but hey that's life, it's like a mountain you're trying to get up at & once you reach the top it's worth everything. It's not a smooth ride, there's a lot of roughness throughout the way, but I can make it. Once in awhile we need a getaway from all the bullshit that life or let's say the road that we're trying to go through, & I'm finally getting a well deserved one. This weekend, after long hours from work, & dealing with rude people I finally get a getaway along with family, friends, & boyfriend :). Speaking of baby, I must say I was impressed with his blog I loved it =) & thanks for picking me up from work the other day! the little things that you do to make my day & make my tiredness worth it. So tomorrow we're leaving for Blue Mountain after baby's work with Jezz & Alisha on the back seat lol, but before that we're gun look for some computers first cuz I'm in need of a laptop. Since I'm gun help baby drive, if he needs it, we're going to take the side road, which means it's all farmland lol. But it okay, I love fresh air. Anyways, I'll blog & post up some pics when I get the chance to next week.

- dee

you're my song ..

You're my favorite song and always will be. At times,
you're an annoying pop song. At others, you're a sweet
acoustic melody. We are two completely different people,
but we came together and it worked. But at some point
you became a breakup song. For a long time I turned
off my radio, hoping the silence would help me. But
tonight I caved in. You will always be my favorite melody.

I LOVE YOU BABE :)

always,
your girlfriend

Boy Meets World

Cory: Ever since I was young I never understood anything about the world,
and I never understood anything that happened in my life.
The only thing that ever made sense to me was you, and how I felt about you.
That's all I've ever known and that's enough, that's enough for me,
for the rest of my life. Topanga, we gonna get married?
Topanga: Yea, we are
-
Cory: Mom, Listen, I haven't been together with Topanga for twenty-two years, but we *have* been together for sixteen. 'Kay, that's a lot longer than most couples have been together. I mean, when we were born, you told me that we used to take walks in our strollers together in the park. When we were two, we were best friends, I mean, I, I knew everything about this girl. I knew her favorite color. I knew her favorite food. Then we became six, you know, and Eric made fun of me because it wasn't cool to have a best friend that was a girl or even know a girl, so for the next seven years I threw dirt at her. I like to call those "the lost years". Then when I was thirteen, Mom, she put me up against my locker and she kissed me. I mean, she gave me my first kiss. She taught me how to dance. She was always talking about these crazy things and I never understood a word she said. All I understood was that she was the girl I sat up every night thinking about, and when I'm with her I feel happy to be alive. Like I can do anything. Even talk to you like this. So that's, that's what I feel is love, Mom... When I'm better because she's here... and now she won't be. So we're finished.

I miss Boy meets world, I loved watching that.. I think that's where I got the idea of a dream boy.. I'm a sucker for guys like Cory Matthews & the love him & Topanga have. I know mine isn't as bad, but I know it will be better as soon as possible =] cuz it's all love.

vent vent vent.

I just love the fact that you out of all the people would hold such a grudge against me. Out of all the years I have known you, and of all the things I have done for you, the favors, the little things you hold a grudge against me over some little thing? All I want to say is GROW UP. As kids I would understand the fact that you tell someone that 'oh i'm not talking to her' dude, get over it. It's a little thing.. If I list all the things that I should have held a grudge against you, trust me, mine wouldn't mean nothing. But honestly whatever, this is just a way for me to vent out, I don't care if you read it or not, but I hope you do and realize that you got to let go of some pride.

-
Anyways nuff bull, my gaah I worked everyday this week except Tuesday,oh well nuff money, plus i don't really have to go shopping cuz I already got everything I want =] especially the Adidas sweater from Aritzia =] Ive been waiting for my size and they finally got it lol.I have work tomorrow again, then seeing baby after, perhaps eat some dinner & watch Time Traveler's Wife. Monday is work again, then Tuesday prolly gun go out with the girls and Wednesday with Cate. Friday is Collingwood =] can't wait I need a get away!!! I also can't wait for the 26th til baby get's his week vacay from work :) :) :) ..

no offense mother nature..

Yesterday was pretty okay. Had my first shortest shift 3 hours lol. It felt fast cuz it wasn't busy at all. I like working mondays lol. Today was my day off, so I picked up Jezz and off we went shopping. Met up with cate afterward after her interview and OH EM GEE she got the job at costa blanca, which is great cuz that means, DISCOUNT :) lol. I kinda wanna apply at Town shoes lol. From what I heard from cate aha. After spending, dropped off cate home & dropped jezz, now waiting for my baby to come over, i miss him, so it's good he's coming over =) .. i love that sleepy head that falls asleep on me every night, literally lol.

& honestly the weather is so shit, no offense mother nature... but give us some good days c'mon pls and thank you =]

Friday - Sunday

Friday
- couldn't see baby
- got Klaudine
- Milton is FAAARR
- met up with Cate
- met up with Julius, Edward, Jonnie, & Rainier
- Go-Karting with everyone (funn, haven't been go karting for awhile)
- Wal-Mart to buy movies and pop
- Julius place to watch Haunting at Connecticut
* live day, we should do it again.. btw CONGRATS cate for getting the job at Town Shoes =] now imma get shoes from you =]

Saturday
- worked
- met up with baby
- watched GI JOE
- chill at home
* not only Channing Tatum is hot but GI JOE is a must see movie. It's pretty sick.

Sunday
- worked
- watched Perfect Getaway with baby
* sick movie..

mother nature isn't mothering after all..

So I was supposed to have work yesterday but my manager called me right after I got ready to tell me I wasn't working, and that I was working today instead so that was bummy, I decided to take the car and meet up with Cate to go help her find a job. Wow I haven't had a girl's day out for a long time. Then had to go home right away since Cate left and baby was gun pick me up from home and we were going to go to Marcellinus to jog & work out. After that we just went home to play CLUE which was fun lol.
Today, I worked, it was odd for a Thursday and not being busy I guess it was cuz Mother Nature gave us a beautiful day today. Speaking of mother nature, she's not being really mothering to us lately. I don't know what's happening but that storm, tornado, whatever you call it was weird. It was like hail and heavy thunderstorm. So I won't be seeing the boyfriend tomorrow since his cousins are over =( bummer but it's okay I guess, hope you have fun baby. I also hope those people are really your cousins! Anyways I got my school schedule I found out that ill be at school
MONDAY:
10:50 - 11:40
11:45 - 1:30
TUESDAY:
9:00 - 11:40
2:30 - 4:15
WEDNESDAY:
OFF
THURSDAY:
9:55 - 11:40
11:45 - 1:30
2:30 - 4:15
4:20 - 6:05
FRIDAY:
8:05 - 10:45
----
pretty sick schedule huh? Hopefully it doesn't change.. I'm pretty scared for college, something new but I'm happy I'm moving on.

- dee

line..

Draw a line, & it's up to you to place me where you want to.

------------------------------------------
Right now, I know I'm below it..


.

long weekend.

Friday:
Ended up going to Ontario Science Centre, it was good especially the imax movie. Saw some of baby's girls/boys/friends but as usual didn't get introduced to so that was a downer. But then again I guess it's no biggie to him, I guess in the long run I'll just learn how not to care when it comes to those kind of situation. We also watched Funny People, it was funny. Definitely a must see.

Saturday:
Had to work from 1 - close. But whats more bummy is boyfriend promised me he was going to be there after my work to wait for me and pick me up. But instead he made me wait for 1 and a half hour because he was at the beach with people I don't know. Mind you it's our 6 months. The only fun part was playing battleship.

Sunday:
Woke up early for church, went to church with babe for the first time ever, I prayed for so many things I have been praying for for the longest time. I hope they come my way soon. Their not even for me, their for us. Anyways, we decided to go to Niagara afterward and no lie it was mad traffic, Ray called one of his many many girls so she told us one way to get there faster and it helped. We went to the Ripley's Museum and that Mirror Maze, they were sick. Before going home we played at Midway and got 2000+ tickets which earned me a big dolphin :) and other little things. I love that place. Went home afterward and ate some take out and played mouse trap lol. Then just chilled our night away.

Monday:
Went to my grandparents to spend time with the fam. It was pretty fun.

-
dee

P.S
happy belated 6 months hun, i love you. I know we have been through a lot, through hell and back, through laughter and tears, through fights and just plain loving. I don't know why lately it seems like everything is changing, especially the love you got for me. I have been noticing the space we're starting to build between each other. Don't get me wrong, I do love you a lot, and I'm scared you're sick of me, especially when u break up with me or you ask me to break up with you. It's sad cuz I'm not sure of how you feel for me anymore. But I'm proud of us, no one thought we would make it this far and we did. I know we're gun keep proving everyone wrong. I'm sorry I know I'm difficult to deal with sometimes but I know you, you like challenge and I am a challenge so I hope you don't give up. But no lie you are a challenge as well, but no way I can give up, this is the best yet hardest thing ever. I love you.

Faithfully ..

I know you gave a chance to be with me
I'm not sayin’ that this ain’t meant to be
Boy I’m risking my heart to love you faithfully
When ever I’m over my head I want you to keep on holding on
cause no matter what you say or do
I will still love you

Boy you’re my pride, my everything
and anything means everything
and everything I want is you
I want to spend my life with you
hate to tell you, you need to do
everything you want me to do

love me faithfully
here’s my hand
take good care of me
just know you’ll always have a shoulder to cry on
come and rescue me
take my had
love it faithfully
you’ll always have a shoulder to cry on

cause sometimes its still hard to believe
we made it through our lives and doubts
when ever you lost it
I’ll always be there

you’ll always be the one to remain in my heart
I can only promise one thing baby you’ll always have a place in my heart

Boy I will love you forever and ever
come baby I promise you that I will never
lose my faith in us
I promise everything will be ok

Baby whenever we are together
whenever I doubt boy you make things all better
you know that I am sensitive to all the thing you can give
all I want is you in my life

baby we just happened.

You used to tell me that I was your pride & joy. That you love me, that you're all for me, that it's just me, that you will marry me someday, that I was going to be the mom of your kids, and everything else.

But I'm sick of words, show me actions.. I've got a lot to say but I'll leave it.
Whatever happens, i still love you, always will.

dee

Had a day off today and I basically laid my bum on my bed & txt the boyfriend the whole time until maybe round 3ish. He picked me up, played some ball & watched 500 Days of Summer, pretty good movie it was funny. I'm surprised it wasn't as boring as I thought it would be. Even baby loved it, it was funny.. but the funniest thing is the guy that was beside us lol. He honestly made my day, it's not everyday you see a guy watching a chick flick by himself and being so into it. Now, I'm just chillaxing listening to music and such. I got work tomorrow, one more day and my weekend begins, finally..... anyways ill blog again soontimes, later days..

- dee

Bye bye computer..

so this morning I had to wake up to my computer giving up on me, my desktop that is. After 5 years it gave up on me lol, so I have to settle for this laptop until I get a new one. Me and baby are planning to get matching mac books before school starts lol. Anyways didn't have work today and I changed the ayout of my room, I also cleaned up my closet. I ended up with two full garbage bags lol.
blog ya later ..
im too lazy lol

dee

not bad.

What the heck is wrong with the weather? Honestly, the past 3-4 days was like pure rain and now it's all sunny. I'm not complaining bout the sun but that's how I get sick all the time because of the change in weather. I never know how to dress for the weather. But anyways, I just woke up few minutes ago and was planning the weekend with my boyfriend =]. I'm looking forward to it, cuz I actually realized that our summer plans are almost done, we're almost at the end of it. At least my summer didn't turn out that bad like loafting and things. Because I have been on that loafting tip, I don't want to go back, I'm happy that I'm moving on and not staying in one place and being productive of my time. Y'all can go have fun loafting, I choose to live my life & I'm happy with where I'm going. But I won't lie partying sometimes isn't bad as long as it's not everyday. Speaking of parties here are some of the pics from mine & Julius's little get together.


Edward, Jonnie, Jayar, & Richard singing happy birthday to me & julius

With Cate .. my pink eye was bothering me =(

Some of us.

Anyways enough of this, I kind of miss Klaudine! well not really lol kidding now I have to drive further to come pick her up and bring her back to civilization lol =). I also miss my two little cousins, they left last night after sleeping over for a few days, it surprised me that they liked my boyfriend that much lol. They bugged him the whole time he was here lol. I also woke up today to my boyfriend's voice, it was prolly one of the cutest moments after a long time, it made my day. Anyways that's it for now, I'll blog whenever I get the chance to.

- dee

something needs to be changed ..

You turn to a completely different person.. You know what i'm talking bout. I won't go on in here blabbering bout you, cuz i know how much you hate that.. Saying sorry to me makes me feel happy that you still got the potential to change. Also, telling me that you need help makes me wanna cry because it states the fact that you want to change, since I've always want to be the girl you will change for. But I have been trying to help you ever since we started, I just don't know how to anymore.. So please, if you know just let me know.I'll get to my point now, something needs to be changed. I'm telling you this because I want us to work, regardless of anything, I love you.

New layout

My blog was asking for a new layout lol so I changed it. I keep hearing my dad bugging my brother to play ps3 with him and my brother keeps responding with a "you need more practice" lol, I'm so jealous with their relationship. I wish I had that kind of father-daughter relationship. Well I used to, but not anymore I'm a tad older now and those kiddish ways are out of the way. Anyways I had work yesterday and we had a really funny staff meeting. Athina came over after work & James came along, they stayed til like 12ish. It was I guess nice seeing and talking to them about life & things. The weather is so bummy, it's okay though I'm seeing my boyfriend and spending time with him =). Sorry babe that I can't make it on Saturday or Sunday, I'll make it up to you!

FAILURE.

okay so I can't help but think that this summer is such a fail. Honestly I was looking forward to it, couldn't wait for it to come.. & now that it's here it's the worst summer yet. All I do is work, I don't get no excitement in my life right now. Before summer came we made it a point that we'll do all these shit, and now we don't even have time to do anything. For fucks sakes I feel like we don't even do anything anymore. Especially now that it's almost coming to an end, you got your own thing going on now. Like ball is more important than me, well that's how I feel anyways. You can't even talk to me at night anymore, all you do is fall asleep, I know you're tired and all but I am too and I still make it a priority to talk to you just because I didn't talk to you for the whole day. The only time we actually get to talk talk is when we're arguing, other than that you'd just sleep. I don't want to go on and ramble about things that are immature but all I'm asking for is your attention, and a bit of your time. I won't count on it, but I won't lose anything if i try right? Like how I've been trying to earn YOU, your trust, your love, your everything for the past months. I hope the day will come when you'll just come up to me and say, "I'm giving you everything you've been trying to earn". I'll be waiting....

always,
Dee

Yesterday was bomb, before going to work I had to wake up extremely early to get ready for my placement test at Humber. I picked up Jezz in the morning & drove there to write my test. It was a pretty easy computerized Math test. We had to bus from there to Sq since my mom took the car. Went mad shopping lol shopped til I had to go to work at 5 =( lol.. 3 more things on the list : juicy couture purse, adidas sweater, ipod.
-
I did my hair today, it's supposed to have a lighter base color but it didn't work that well, but it has nuff highlights. spent nuff money on that as well, which means now im broke lol. so the 3 things on my list have to wait lol. I also spent time with my boyfriend today since my work shift was canceled. I was so close to giving in to him buying me an ipod for my bday present but no =] lol.. BTW YOU STILL OWE ME SOMETHING FOR LOSING OUR BET :).. We also came up with an idea of going to Montreal. I'm excited =]
-
no more facebook for me as well.

Birthday Weekend.

Friday was sick, even though it sucked.. My boyfriend took me to the zoo & we saw nuff animals, I never knew there were that much kinds of monkeys aha anyways it was good while it lasted, I didn't want anything for my bday but baby knows what i want from him which even made me tear by telling him. After the long day of walking at the zoo we went to STC to chill & watch I Love You Beth Cooper, it sucked ! i fell asleep lol. To make things worst, I GOT PINK EYE ON MY BIRTHDAY!

Saturday I didn't expect much from the park thing because i know there wasn't much to expect. Thank you so much for the people that came, you guys made it fun & took my mind off the people that didn't want to come & didn't even bother greeting me on my birthday. It was just a piss off that my boyfriend had to leave and he didn't even spend time with me, instead he chose to throw a football with my brother. After all the talks & the jokes we had off we went to julius's place to celebrate mines, his & his twins birthday, they turned 19 =]. There was a lot of alcohol, which everyone finished except for me since i promised my boyfriend i wasn't going to drink. But the night was full of fun, I haven't had that much fun in awhile. I missed my friends.

Today is just church for me, & i'm currently pissed off at the moment, I hate when you get so mad at me for not txting you back for 5 minutes, you ignore me for 5 hours & you don't expect me to get mad. It's not fair that you're doing this to me like im just a piece of shit to you, put yourself in my shoe, if i didn't text you back for 5 hours you would freak!i dnt give a damn if your battery is dieing, but don't ignore me. You wouldn't want me doing that to you. & you act like it's nothing? well you're wrong cause it is something. I'm pissed off at you at the moment. How do I know you're not doing shit behind my back when you ignore me for that long. I don't care who you're with, before you left we promised each other we were going to txt each other. My birthday weekend is already ruined and you don't give two fucks about it.

Tomorrow i have a test at humber, I'm going to drive there then go back home & I'm bringing Jezz with me so when we get back I should go shopping. I need to treat myself & get away from all these stresses.

By the way thank you for everyone that greeted me & tried cheering me up, I appreciatte every bit of it. Thanks Klaudine for writing that thing for me. Thanks Jezz, Lauren, Jonnie, Julius, & Reymar for coming to the park & also special shout to Cate, Edward, Kristine, Rainier, Ivy, Ashley, Gloria, Jayar, Richard & Richard's girlfriend?(i forgot her name lol) for making mine julius's & jerome's birthday fun! thanks for all the cheers, jokes, laughs, love, & drinking up for our birthday to be fun :)

-

NTS: look for a place to go camping.

Haven't updated since what Thursday? lol, Friday took the day off and went off with my mom to do our nails, like finally even if it was just for a bit it felt nice finally paying for myself and stuff. It also felt nice doing because of the outcome since I had a day off at work and didn't have to worry about getting ready and blah. Me nd baby got our pair of chucks that day as well =] they look cute when we wear them together lol.Then we watched Bruno, it was hilarious but gross. Please don't bring kids and go watch that movie, it's honestly not for kids. Friday was also Athina's & James's one year, so shout out to both of you ! Congratulations, im happy for both of you =] & love you both
-
Saturday, had work from 12 to 7 and baby picked me up went home, changed, then went to my god daughter's birthday party. It was pretty cool just hanging with fam & boyfriend, I think my life is finally settling. I think that now I'm finally realizing what real life is, just a taste of it at least. No more immature ways, no more slangs, no more of that old things i used to do as a kid. I'm kind of proud of myself for moving on with life with no one stopping me.


Picture of me, Jana (god daughter's sister), & the boyfriend
She really knew how to pose, we taught her well =P

Sunday was good, went to church, then took out my little brother to play ball with my boyfriend, even though it was boring, it was fun watching my lil brother & my boyfriend running ball.
-
yesterday was my work day as well, it was pretty slow, but I'm sick so i didn't mind the slowness, and today I have a day off, so Im going to see the boyfriend =], tomorrow is work from 3 - 9 & thursday from 10 - 9 , good freaking hours, tiring but worth it.

-dee

"im flossing my teeth"

OMG OMG OMG I'm officially G2 certified bitchessss =] I'm so happy, I feel like I've been waiting for it for too long ..Anyways I can finally drive now, when I get my insurance lol I can't wait.
Anyways two days ago went shopping with my boyfriend, tell me how I bought a 135$ guess bag & a 250 guess shoe, LOL then I changed my mind, but I can't take it back sooooo too bad for me lol.
I've been working every frikking day.. I need a break, but it's whatever cuz it's money.
I got work today again, and I hope it won't be as busy ..

..

Yesterday was July 1st, Canada day & my 5 months with the boyfriend. Ended up watching public enemy, but it was so boring, for me at least. I'm sorry babe I just really think it's boring lol. Surprisingly my dad knew bout all these things aha so that was a good conversation during dinner time. After chilling at home baby had to go home, & it made me sad since we didn't spend a lot of time due to the fact that it was a wednesday. What a frikking holiday.
To the people that said a quick prayer for me to be able to get a new job.. GUESS WHAT.. I GOT THE JOB :) i'm so happy. & they actually give me good frikkin hours. Thank you LORD. I just really hated the fact that I worked at the other place without getting that much hours. Today was supposed to be my interview, but they actually made me start. I worked for almost 6 hours today, which is tiring but thinking about it, that's what I asked for. & I know it will be worth it :)

-
& for you .. my one & only, I just want to say thank you for the 5 months, like always for putting up with my attitude issues, for spending every time you can with me, for treating me like no one else did, for not being afraid to speak up when you know I'm wrong, for being there no matter what, for those talks I never had with anyone else, for being yourself around me, & most of all thank you for seeing something in me that made you change your old ways, & lastly thank you for the 'sorrys' you've been stating lately that would just make the fight unworthy of anything. I LOVE YOU UGLY <3

-dee

GROSS WEATHER.

So ever since Friday, all i've been hearing was something bout Michael Jackson or his songs or something. I know he died and all, and a lot of people are sad about it. But does it mean that you guys have to play his songs and stuff just because he died. When clearly you guys didn't listen to him when he was alive. Well too bad, we can't bring him back to life now can we? Saturday came and picked up Klaudine from work with my boyfriend playing MJ's songs and they go on ranting and ganging up on me. But whatever you guys love me :) lol. After dropping Klaudine home after her work, me & boyfriend went to my little cousin's birthday party at Sheraton hotel. Sheraton wasn't that biggie to me cuz I'm always there, but when I saw our rooms, it was sick. 3rd floor and there was a back door that was few steps away from the pool and the weight room. The pool was whirlpool meaning the water was heated, there was a hot tub, and a big ass gym. When we got settled me & baby decided to walk around downtown and watch The Hangover, it was funny but at the same time gross lol. Since we already watched transformers and there wasn't anything else to watch =P. I also saw Justin Alvero, LOL i remembered those days with Athina & Alyssa. Around 1230ish, me & baby dropped my parents to get their cars and went home :) It was a fun day.
Sunday was just work, gosh I was so tired that I slept at 9. It even came to the point where baby called me last night and i just slept on him, sorry babe.
Today I officially started my sleeping in days :) lol, I slept in until 1. Felt so nice. I woke up to really crappy weather, hopefully this weather doesnt continue until wednesday since it's a holiday and it's our 5 months :) I'm excited, I wonder what his gift is..lol kidding. But ya I guess I'm just going to clean my room for the whole day. Throw out all the garbage I dont need anymore and stuff. hopefully the day goes by quick. I miss my boyfriend =(

con-GRAD-ulations.

I can finally say I'm officially done & over high school. Like what Andrew Song our Valedictorian stated, our life is like a movie and we're moving on to make the best movie out of our life. I'm proud of everyone that made it through four years, the memories will last, the friendships, the hardships, the skipping, the easy teachers, the dramas, etc. everything was worth while. I must say that lining up and spending the whole day standing on heels never felt better. I got diploma, it was something I worked for and I've earned it. Now it's just the beginning of my real life. No more kiddish things, this is where reality begins. I was quite disappointed that the special people I wanted to be there wasn't there, I won't say much bout my night but all I can say was breaking down after all my stress never felt so good. It just took one simple action to break me down, and my balloon of tears overflowed with tears for the whole night. I should go shopping to make me feel better, but me & baby are going shopping next week. I believe? =) so I guess I should just get ready to see him tonight. perhaps play some ball and enjoy the weather =]

YAY, my internet is back.. Today is the hottest day of the week, frikking 35 degrees out. So decided to spend the day with my boyfriend.
Grad is tomorrow, hopefully it's not long even though i know it will be but whatever.

Ill blog later.
-dee

no mood.

Why is today giving me sh*t, honestly I have been home since yesterday minding my own business until everyone decided to ruin it. Like first I'm at the library right now because my mom dragged me here to help her with something because BELL is having troubleshooting with their internet. Geez, Rogers was so much more better. Why tell me why my boyfriend would use 'reverse phsychology' on me? like who does that, no offence. But are you just trying to find a way to piss me off? and you go off telling me that I always pick the fights? but whatever. Like honestly once I say I dont have facebook anymore, I DONT. Like let's be real here. Anyways I just wanted to vent off things here since I think thats the only thing that can help me throught times like this.
I just can't wait to go out with him tomorrow, and watch the hangover? It's gun be such a nice day and hopefully everything goes well.
Ill blog more later if Bell is quick enough to fix problems.

-DEE

fina-efin-lly

Today was my last exam, it was more of like the hardest and one of the most important exams I had to do. It's Chem. I couldn't think of anything for the whole weekend but this exam. No matter how much I studied I was still confused with a lot of things. I was even complaining to my classmates about how nervous and about how much I didn't wanna do it. But like what baby said it's better to get part marks done nothing at all. Surprisingly the exam was fairly easy, I mean there wasn't any surprises that wasn't on the review. I actually knew how to answer them. Thank you Lord for answering my prayers . After exams me, Lauren & Jenny went to eat pho. Wow that's the last time i ate at that restaurant being a highschool student. The memories throughout the years in that restaurant are still fresh lol. Can't wait for grad, and I can finally say I'm proud of myself.

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Friday was good, after baby running 10 laps at the Gonzaga track, we went to watch the proposal, what a funny movie. And saturday was really really really flop plus it was gloomy outside which made it worst. Until baby came over round 930 to save my day =) mom bought pizza and me and baby rented from hell, which was actually the first horror movie that I didn't cover my eyes and cling on to baby. Funny thing is we both fell asleep lol cuz it was so long.

Anyways Sunday was Father's day. I'm thankful for the dad that god has given me, I love him a lot. And as for my other dad, i miss you, the fact that you don't recognize me as much and the fact that you don't show the proper way of having a daughter hurts me a lot. I know it's not you're fault that we haven't seen each other for almost 10 years maybe more. But the thought that you remember me and give me a call once in a while honestly wouldn't kill you. But I guess you have your own life now and I hope you still will never remember your one and only Danielle, Like what my aunts and my grandparents always tell me, "you're dad will always love you no matter what". Those words are the only thing that are making me not forget about you. I know it's mean but you can't blame a child that you left and never once remembered. Regardless, I was thought to forgive no matter the situation, forgiveness is love and I love you. Hope that connects. Happy Fathers Day, even if you're not reading this, at the end of the day you still are my father, I hope to see you at the proper time.

- DEE