I MISS ..

..the old times
..times we spent together
..your silliness
..laughing with you
..spending time with you all the time
..hugging and kissing you
..when you wrestle with me
..you being playful
..when we were so close
..when i knew everything that was happening to you
..when i was still your top priority
..when you cared a lot about my well being
..when you would treat me like a princess
..everything
..us

-dee

walk away

when people walk away from you,
let them go. you're destiny isn't
tied down to anyone who leave you.
It doesn't mean they're bad people.
It just means that their part in
your story is over.

reading week.

OMG, reading week is over :( BOOO. I really don't wanna go back to school. I didn't even do any school work when I'm supposed to. I have two exams this week and I've only gotten over a bit of the stuff I'm supposed to go over. Anyways. So my reading week was okay, but not long enough. Monday I was with my fam. Tuesday with Baby the whole day. Wed-Fri I was at work. Friday, spent the night with baby watching Beverly Hills 90210 old but pretty good show. Saturday worked then watched Shutter Island with baby then today I went to church. NO LIFE! I HATE MY LIFE. lol

Happy Birthday Baby!

Happy monthsary to Klaudine and A-tee & Happy Birthday babe!

Today baby came over early maybe around 9:30 after his gym. Laid down on my bed for a bit maybe til 11:30 watching Couples Retreat, still funny :P. Got Ready and went to go watch Valentine's Day at Famous, not that great of a movie. But ya, passed by my work then rented Time Traveler's Wife and headed to my place. I miss just chilling days like this with baby because I never really get the chance to chill with him like this nowadays. We're both busy, and the only days we get with each other is Friday night, and Saturdays, and maybe sometimes Sundays. But whatever, I LOVE YOU BABY. Hope to spend every birthday with you!!

family day

So woke up pretty early today, baby woke me around 10ish cuz he was leaving. Then went back to sleep again for a bit til daddy-oh woke me up to tell me we're reaching my grandparents place. So blah blah, got to my grandparents and watched the Olympics, ate like a pig, and watched movies with cousins. It's nice spending time with family once in awhile. We started looking at old pictures, I remember being such a spoiled kid that I would get whatever I wanted from my mom, my grandparents, even my aunts and uncles. But ya, so I got a baby picture that my grandpa have and I'm gun give it to baby :) aha. Anyways, my cousin is having a baby shower soon, I just can't wait til her baby girl is out, since I'm going to be a god mother, and Ray is going to be a god father, me & him will spoil that baby off. I'm excited to just borrow her from Jezz all the time and just take her out with me & Ray :P. Baby would love that little cutie off, he'd make such a great dad. But not now, maybe in the future.. :)

THANKS BABY!

I would just like to thank my boyfriend for a wonderful Valentine's Day/Weekend. Thanks for the roses that everyone was jealous about lol, the card and the chocolate baby. Thanks for surprising me :P and for coming to church with me. I love you. Today is family day unfortunately I can't spend the day with baby, maybe tonight? lol. He went to Buffalo with his family, and I'm spending mine with my family. But tomorrow is baby's birthday and I'm spending it with him yay :) for the first time ever, I can spend something special with him. But anyways. Im off to go..

toodles

dee

update

Oh man, I haven't been in this for so long. Haven't updated this with what's going on in awhile. Everything is busy busy.. I've been so exhausted. School and work has been very exhausting. Valentine's day is coming and i wonder what baby is getting me.. hmmmm? =P anyways i'll leave it here and update more later..

2:10 AM - SUNDAY

Baby just left my house 15 minutes ago..
My phone rings..

Me: Hello
Baby: Hi baby, did you know that you look so cute when you're sleeping?
Me: huh?
Baby: I just love to stare at you when you sleep, didn't you notice I keep kissing you and snuggling with you while sleeping? You're like my baby
Me: I know.. I fell asleep fast during the movie
Baby: Can I keep you baby?
Me: I'm yours forever!
Baby: Kiss!
Me: MUAHHH
Baby: MUAAHH!

I love youuu! You make my day! even if it's like when we just parted you make me miss you like crazzzy!

It pisses me off that the strike is always getting pushed back to another date. Like if you guys want to go on strike, just go, cuz it's wasting both of our times. The fact that theres so much rumours going on pisses me off more too. But whatever..

Thanks baby for coming over last night :) even if it was only for a bit, watching Saved By The Bell with you was fun :P. Tonight, you better pick me up at 930 don't forget like last week. Don't get too carried away with playing basketball with my dad and my brother and other people lol.

Monotone teachers are the worst, especially for college students. Like why would they hire teachers like that when they know that students won't be able to learn from their annoying way of speaking. PISS ME OFF.

BY THE WAY GUYS, follow me on

tumblr

:)

LAZY DAY.

OMGAH, lol woke up early cuz people are looking at our house. BOO!! Anyways, Klaudine also came over, and right now she's sleeping on my bed lol cuz it's comfy like that. I'm about to go back to sleep as well since I just finished my online classes. I really am pissed that we're selling our house because first, I don't want to move, second, I don't want to be far from baby, and third, I hate moving, it's tiring. I just hope my parents finally make a decision on where we're going to move and if the case is moving to Toronto, I'm moving out. I can easily find roommates that I can share the rent and utilities with if my boyfriend isn't allowed to move in with me lol. It would teach me how to be more independent and more self-reliant rather than relying on my parents all the time. I can learn how to cook & do laundry on my own :P.

OMG SHE'S SNORING! LOL

Anyways, today is such a lazy day, I don't think me or Klaudine will reach school just because. OMG I NEED TO STOP SLACKING. I have no motivation, I miss my boyfriend, I feel so apart from him, I'm lazy, the weather sucks, everything sucks right now. Whatever, I'll go back to sleep and dream. Maybe in my dream, everything would be perfect. *cross fingers*

NEXT STOP : MOVING OUT!

party everyday! :) lol.

xoxo dee

thanks

Thanks for tonight sweetie, you know what I'm talking about. At least you proved to me that you could actually give me something. I appreciate it. I miss you, I miss the old times. I just hope we 'talk' like that more often. I MISS YOU SO SO SO SO SO MUCH. I love you no matter what.


oh how I miss summer. PLEASE COME BACK so I can finally relax like this with my baby..


danielle

unappreciated

I'm feeling really unappreciated.
You takin` my love for granted, babe.
and I don't know how much more,
I can take from you.
You don't do the things you use to do.
You don't even say I love you too.
And lately I've been feeling,
Feeling unappreciated.


Woke up this morning and saw your face
And you didn't look the same as yesterday.
I got the feeling that you can't seem to see,
Where you want to be.
And lately it ain't been the same at all.
When you're here its like I'm invisible
I still can't seem to see where I went wrong.
Cause I'm feeling unappreciated


Lately our house is not a home
You come in, take a shower and then say I'm gone.
What am I to do
When my heart says leave
But my feet won't move
And today is our anniversary
And you haven't even said two words to me
I'm trying hard to give you another chance
But baby I'm feeling unappreciated


Oh when I first met you
I thought you was the most perfect man
That I ever seen
I still don't understand why
You treat me like you do
I use to give into your lies
But now I see the truth
Oh no I don't want to hear it I'm through
Yea I know I'll still be missing you
But it's not worth the pain
That I've gained from you
You make me feel
Unappreciated


Don't love me no more
I'm really feeling unappreciated.

strike

I'm praying so hard that Colleges won't go on strike. They have a set date for Feb 11th, I really don't want my summer ruined. Like please, let the students get over the load on their back and then go on strike. You guys keep mooching money off of the students through tuition, books, etc. But whatever. Class today was fun, as usual it was me & Sharlene on a monday morning being hyper. I can honestly say that our group is bomb, all we do is laugh and make jokes, but we still get our work done. I'm pigging out with the Hershey Kisses me and baby bought from Niagara on Saturday. By the was thanks babe for bringing me to Niagara, then watching When in Rome with me, and bringing me to Pickle Barrel for dinner :) LOVE YOU. I also love the Guess watch you bought me :) even if it's huge, I gotta go to a watch store to take of its links so I can finally wear it :). I also hope you love the GPS I got you :) I took my time thinking of that. And I know you love it. Anyways, strike or no strike, I can't wait for reading week, perhaps me & baby can spend some time together during that week :) I really want a frikking get away, perhaps Valentine's day? *cough cough*.. IM BOREEEEED. whatever.

xox dee

one year

I hate it. It's ruined. The only day you can be nice to me, be a boyfriend, be a gentleman, and you chose not to. You chose to leave me here literally crying and not giving two fucks about me. Worst than that you swear at me? you yell at me? Do you think I'm some kind of a superhero that doesn't get hurt? If so, then something is wrong with you. You can't even appreciate all the things I given you for our one year. I skipped 3 days of school to complete your presents and you cant even take 6 minutes to watch it? I would've thought you'd be excited to watch it. But instead you'd rather watch your wrestling and even worst play your Wii, THEN SLEEP? Thanks a lot. You know my heart, it's about to fucking burst in million pieces soon. I really hope you could cure it, but you can never. I hate when you tell me things that gets my hopes up. When are you ever going to put me first? The only thing I can do to ease all the pain you cause is burst into tears. I feel so fucking broken. I'm ready to fall off the string I'm holding on to. You always shut me out. Why are you like that? Don't you feel horrible you're hurting me? I mean you tell me you love me yet you can hurt me like that? you can swear at me like that? you can yell at me? You ask me why I can't be happy.. you should know why. why can't you put your all attention on me, even just for once. I might sound selfish when I say that but I mean I deserve it. You can never just have your attention on me. There always has to be something else. I'm left with questioning if this is really real for you. Cuz I'm not up for games. I should be holding a lot of grudges on you, but I don't I give you a chance to prove yourself all the time, now I'm running out of reasons. I mean if you're really not ready for me, you can't change that right? who can? cuz I tried, and theres still nothing there. I cry myself to sleep all the time because of us, I put everything inside me. I'm always left alone crying in the dark. Why can't you feel bad for me, for once.. I wish you could feel how you make me feel. I wish you could understand, I wish you could see my mind & my heart. I wish you were aware of how make me feel. I wish you dont turn away. I wish you'd love me more. I wish you'd be there when I feel alone and losing my grip. I wish you'd wipe my tears when I cry. I wish for so much things to change in you. I pray every night. But no matter how much hate I have for you, when I see your face or even just hear your voice it all goes away, I mean I know you love me, your just having a hard time showing it. Am i right? But why is it hard? I wanna know why you cant be the boyfriend that would show me to his mom. Am I not worth it? Cuz I feel as if I'm not thats why it's better off I don't meet them. I dont know.. this is just sad.. Im slowly slowly falling..

And you know ain't nothing better
Then when we get
Mad together and have angry sex
Then we forget what we were mad about

aha

happy one year, i love you.
even if you don't

always,
danielle

b o r e d , b l a h b l a h b l a h , r a n t r a n t r a n t

WHY AM I SO BORED? maybe because I have nothing to do? I went to go get baby his well deserved present for our one year anniversary & perhaps for his birthday? Maybe if I have money on his birthday I'll get him something else. But I know that once he recieves this present, he'd go crazy. I mean first HE WOULD LOVE IT, second it's fucking expensive like no lies. I'M a bit broke now, since I have to pay 3 bills for my books as well. Whatever I gotta work work work to get money & start saving up. Cause after these expenses I don't have to get anything else. So maybe it's time to save up some dollar. Anyways I'll end it here, maybe I'll get a gift bag for babies presentS!!

xox dee :)

over-reacting

I know sometimes I over-react.. but regardless, I Love You. No matter what issues come up we end up working things out anyway. :) LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU!!

I don't care, we need a frikking get away.. I WANT TO GET AWAY FROM EVERYONE! with you of course..

whatever.. this post is bleeh.. I'm going to eat.. :P



xoxo dee

you make me..

you make me..

..terribly sad
..really really really MISS YOU
..feel so alone, because you're never there to comfort me when you already I'm crying
..stay up late almost every night, because I'm thinking of you & me
..cry myself to sleep
..feel horrible about myself
..feel like shit
..feel as if I am nothing to you
..wanna just give up on myself & everything
..cry
..hate you so much sometimes because you can never hear me out
..wanna throw something at you when you yell at me
..unhappy
..feel like I'm nothing but just another girl to you
..feel as if sometimes I'm just a friend
..feel as if you're shy/ashamed to be with me when others are around


you can't blame me if I always stress the negatives about you.. don't get me wrong there are so much positives.. but I just want to let you know what you make me feel most of the time.. of course it's just a girls nature to tell her boyfriend what she feels or what's wrong. but the problem is, you never hear me out.

always
dee

hmmm ..

or i love you.. if I don't have my basketball in mind
or i love you.. when my video games get boring
or i love you.. when I actually talk to you at night
or i love you.. when I'm not tired
or i love you.. when I'm not thinking bad things about you
or i love you.. on the weekends
or i love you.. in front of your parents
or i love you.. when I'm not watching tv
or i love you.. only when I'm with you
or i love you.. when I get what I want
etc.

soooo ironic!

why oh why..

Why are we always like this? They say good things come to those who wait, but I've been waiting for too long for you to let me in your life. You can't always have that mentality of "the easiest thing not to get hurt, is to not care at all" .. I want you to care, and listen to what I want sometimes. I've given you everything you wanted and asked nothing in return but for you to love me, care for me, trust me, and most of all put me in your life.. I think I deserve something in return right? for once babe.. I mean if you really are serious about me, I think you would know what the right things to do. I don't ask for much, I just want to feel appreciated and loved. I have had criticism and hatred from other throughout my life, I don't want it from you as well.. :(

always,
dee

lol, I can honestly say that me and baby have pulled all of the above. Definitely A, but sometimes baby can't stay still, he's one of those kids that move around lol. B, perfect example of tonight lol, while watching the movie 88 minutes starring Al Pacino, we both fell asleep on my couch and ended up in this lol. C, when baby moves from A :P. D, when it's hot and I can't sleep I tend to move a lot to find my perfect position. E, LOL no comment. F, This is probably the most common. G, if were mad at each other, but it would still end up in A or F. H, when we're both really tired? lol iono. This is funny.

`minds me of us

What I have with him is worth it. It is worth every lonely night, every tear I cry from missing him,
and the pain I feel from not having him close. It is worth it cause he is my one and only.
When I picture myself years from now, I see only him. No matter how painful distance can be,
not having him in my life would be so much worse.

---------- // ---------

Had a day off today, Business Law was okay. The prof picked on some girl so much that I felt so bad for her. Well whatever, that's what she gets for not listening. Anyways headed home after that and found my way to H&M to go shop for a bit. Tomorrow no work again, thank the Lord. I got to catch up with my online classes today and pretty much did everything I had to :).

That picture up there makes me just think of the past one year. Few more days and it is our one year, holy I still remember everything. That picture minds me of how comfortable we became with each other. With everything that we've been through I learned how to really appreciate and treasure the relationship we have. I still remember last year's Valentines day, you took me all over frikking Niagara, ate dinner, and we missioned it all the way to Vaughan for a movie. That was so prefect, but I wonder what this years Valentine's would be like ;) lol. I know we have had difficulties in the past and we will have them along the way, but who ever said it would come easy right? What matters is we're there for each other no matter what, hand in hand. I love you always. By the way that picture up there, if that was us, we would be sleeping ahaha. knowing you, you'd fall asleep in like 2 seconds lol :P. im not making sense anymore. I just miss you that all..


xoxo dee

Yesterday was my first day of BMGT 201 (Management class) it was okay, I made some new friends :). Anyways, I also had work yesterday which was okay, but I was really tired. I miss my baby already :(. I don't even know when I'm going to see him again, cuz we made some compromise. I won't get into much detail but ya. I have a day off today and work later.. BOOO (N)

appreciated

Watched lovely bones today, movie was pretty okay. Baby and I bought games and accessories for the wii that I finally got him, ordered some pizza, went over to my place, played for a bit and dadida.. Lol at baby doing my brother's project, you killed it hun.

Today was mixed with the good and the bad like always, but along with the bad there comes the good part. Today I realized that I was maybe wrong for the first time. Maybe you are keeping your promise that you will suck up your pride and apologize when needed. I hope you keep it up, cuz when I hear things like that from you, I know that I have accomplished one of my many goals, to change you. I really really really hope that you keep it up, it will get us far, trust me. I love you.

-----------//-----------
I'll screw up. I'll push you away if we're getting too close. I won't trust you until you've proven yourself. I get hurt easily and take a lot of things personally. But I'll love you with everything I have, and if that isn't enough, then I'm not enough.

one two three four

Give me more loving than I’ve ever had
Make me feel better when I’m feeling sad
Tell me I’m special even though I know I’m not
Make me feel good when I hurt so bad

Barely getting mad
I’m so glad I found you
I love being around you
You make it easy

Its as easy as 1-2-1-2-3-4
There’s only one thing
To Do, Three words
For you, I love you

There’s only one way to say
Those three words
That’s what I’ll do
(I love you) I love you

Give me more loving from the very start
Piece me back together when I fall apart
Tell me things you never even tell your closest friends
Make me feel good when I hurt so bad

You’re the best that I’ve had
And I’m so glad I found you
I love being around you

-----------//-----------


Anyways, my accounting class got canceled today so boo (N). But whatever, it's better to sleep in anyways. I got work later. OH EM GEE, why is it that I eat so much and not gain weight? I know my metabolism will catch up to me, like I don't wanna be tiny & skinny my whole life. I see girls that are skinnier than me, and it sometimes makes me feel like giving them some food lol. Not trying to be mean but ya.. whatever, I don't wanna rant..

too much load on my shoulders.

Today was my first day of school since I didn't go to my Monday class cuz my sched got changed. I just finished work & my head is killing me, I'm broke, no one appreciates me, I feel like crap, and my school might go on strike.. LIKE WTF, what's wrong with the world? I honestly hope the government pays these damn profs what they ask for like their so greedy, at least wait for the semester to finish. Like give me a break, we don't deserve this. It's not only Humber that's going on strike but also all the colleges. LIKEEEEE WHATTTT IN THE HECKKKKK? aah fuck this whatever.

how could you..

How could the one I gave my heart to
break my heart so bad
How could the one who made me happy
make me feel so sad
Won't somebody tell me so I can understand
If you love me
how could you hurt me like that

how could the one i gave my world to
throw my world away
how could the one who said i love you
say the things u say
how could the one i was so true to
just tell me lies
how could the one i gave my heart to
go and break this heart of mine

How could you be so cold to me
when I gave you everything
all my love, all I had inside
How could you just walk out the door
how could you not love me anymore
I thought we had forever
I can't understand

How could the one I shared my dreams with
take my dream from me
How could the love that brought such pleasure
bring such misery
won't somebody tell me,
Somebody tell me please
If you love me how could you do that to me

stop, look, and listen

Maybe you should stop what your doing, look at the past when you told me to be understanding, and listen to yourself and me. Nothing is wrong with what your doing to me, or thinking towards me. But it's not my fault that I can't sleep at night thinking about you, and what could we be talking about at the moment if you're not sleeping, or better yet if you could have seen me that night. But no, you asked me to be understanding, on my side I think I am being understanding: I don't try and wake you up at night anymore because I know how tired you are, I don't force you to see me because I figured if you really want to see me I won't have to ask, I don't do the things I used to do that ends up bringing a fight between us. But look what you're doing right now, you're not being understanding, I mean, what do you want me to do? I have done everything you told me to, and you know that. Others might even say I'm whipped, but I don't care what they say, I love you & that's all that matters. You push me away and now that I'm staying where you put me, you don't like it.. Tell me, tell me what you want me to do next. What you read awhile ago written here, who do you think I was trying to get my message across? well if you still got no clue, ITS YOU. But I really don't need to be pitied, I was just simply stating it would be nice if you were like that. But who am I to change you right? I'm no one to you, sometimes I feel like I'm just rug doll that just love you so much that I do what you want. But there should be more to us than that. I know whatever I write here don't will not get through to you, cuz you're just so TOUGH. But honestly this is in your hands...

-------------//-------------


I wanna get to the point where no matter what happens, no matter how long we go without being together, no matter how many fights we get in; that all we need is a kiss & suddenly we remember why we love each other so much.

be mushy : )

Chuck Bass: We could never be boring.
Blair Waldorf: You say that, but I know you. You're Chuck Bass.
Chuck Bass: I'm not Chuck Bass without you.
-------------//-------------

I'm a REAL sucker for guys like this. Guys that can make you melt & be so mushy and sweet to me. Someone that will treat me like a princess & give his everything to me because his in love with me. But who am I kidding? There's no one like that nowadays. All guys are assholes lol. Why can't I just change my boyfriend to be one of those leading mans & prince charmings? I should, but who am I right? Last thing I want to be is be selfish, but it would feel nice to be treated that way by my boyfriend all the time :P. Hope one day will come that my boyfriend will say, "I'm not Ray Valdivia without you." I would melt lol.

Anyways my sched for school got messed up, so now I have to juggle school, work, family, & boyfriend. But this is for my good, I can't give up now.

-dee

congratulations to the soon to be mommy

I swear I have a freakin minimal form of insomnia it's almost 4am and I still can't sleep. But maybe it's just really my bad habit of not sleeping early. I need my sleeping pattern fixed. Sleeping late once in awhile is fine, but not everyday, especially if school starts on Monday, well Tuesday for me.

Had work today, pretty busy, but not that tiring. I finished all the things I had to do like always. Thanks baby for picking me up from work. Baby & I chilled at my house and watched the children while eating some Chinese take-out for dinner lol. Typical Friday night :). I fell asleep through the movie, we both did lol. Baby went home around 1:30 and he's currently snoozing on the phone aha. CONGRATS to JEZZ for her soon to come baby :). I'm happy for you love!

I spent yesterday & today shopping, as in mad shopping. I spent almost $650 in a span of 24 hours. Whatever, I deserve it, worked hard for it. Also spent yesterday night with baby looking all over the place for a nintendo wii. But they're all sold out. Don't worry babe you'll get your wii when they get it back on stock.


this so reminds me of my boyfriend & I, but the first time ever we had a slumber party he was like choking me lol. It was funny but it cute at the same time. It was love. :)
COLLINGWOOD, NIAGARA, COLLINGWOOD, ETC <3

"I know i misbehaved, and you made your mistakes .
and we both still got room left to grow.
and though love sometimes hurts .
I still put you first and we`ll make this thing work.
But I think we should take it slow ."

-John Legend

--------------//--------------

Inspiring quote by John Legend, make me realize that maybe taking things slow sometimes will make everything better. Regardless, we're happy right now : ) I'm just saying. Gosh, school starts soon, all I've been doing is working my ass off. I can't wait to get paid. NTS: go to school to pick up my osap.

-dee

IN L-O-V-E

im not only in love with my boyfriend, but i'm also in L-O-V-E with anything JUICY COUTURE!

someone get me this watch please..


and this scarf


and this bracelet: since i lost mine and thats how close i can get, plus its only 60$ mine was 300$ fml. im clumsy


and these earrings


and this cute purse


their all from www.littleburgundyshoes.com
cmon be nice :P

could have, would have, should have. but didn't

You may not be her first, her last, or her only.
She loved before, She may love again.
But if she loves you now, what else matters?
She's not perfect you aren't either,
and the two of you may never be perfect together,
but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice,
and admit to being human and making mistakes,
hold onto her and give her the most you can.
She may not be thinking about you every second of the day,
but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break her heart.
So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give.
Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad,
and miss her when she's not there.
- Bob Marley