b o r e d , b l a h b l a h b l a h , r a n t r a n t r a n t

WHY AM I SO BORED? maybe because I have nothing to do? I went to go get baby his well deserved present for our one year anniversary & perhaps for his birthday? Maybe if I have money on his birthday I'll get him something else. But I know that once he recieves this present, he'd go crazy. I mean first HE WOULD LOVE IT, second it's fucking expensive like no lies. I'M a bit broke now, since I have to pay 3 bills for my books as well. Whatever I gotta work work work to get money & start saving up. Cause after these expenses I don't have to get anything else. So maybe it's time to save up some dollar. Anyways I'll end it here, maybe I'll get a gift bag for babies presentS!!

xox dee :)

over-reacting

I know sometimes I over-react.. but regardless, I Love You. No matter what issues come up we end up working things out anyway. :) LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU!!

I don't care, we need a frikking get away.. I WANT TO GET AWAY FROM EVERYONE! with you of course..

whatever.. this post is bleeh.. I'm going to eat.. :P



xoxo dee

you make me..

you make me..

..terribly sad
..really really really MISS YOU
..feel so alone, because you're never there to comfort me when you already I'm crying
..stay up late almost every night, because I'm thinking of you & me
..cry myself to sleep
..feel horrible about myself
..feel like shit
..feel as if I am nothing to you
..wanna just give up on myself & everything
..cry
..hate you so much sometimes because you can never hear me out
..wanna throw something at you when you yell at me
..unhappy
..feel like I'm nothing but just another girl to you
..feel as if sometimes I'm just a friend
..feel as if you're shy/ashamed to be with me when others are around


you can't blame me if I always stress the negatives about you.. don't get me wrong there are so much positives.. but I just want to let you know what you make me feel most of the time.. of course it's just a girls nature to tell her boyfriend what she feels or what's wrong. but the problem is, you never hear me out.

always
dee

hmmm ..

or i love you.. if I don't have my basketball in mind
or i love you.. when my video games get boring
or i love you.. when I actually talk to you at night
or i love you.. when I'm not tired
or i love you.. when I'm not thinking bad things about you
or i love you.. on the weekends
or i love you.. in front of your parents
or i love you.. when I'm not watching tv
or i love you.. only when I'm with you
or i love you.. when I get what I want
etc.

soooo ironic!

why oh why..

Why are we always like this? They say good things come to those who wait, but I've been waiting for too long for you to let me in your life. You can't always have that mentality of "the easiest thing not to get hurt, is to not care at all" .. I want you to care, and listen to what I want sometimes. I've given you everything you wanted and asked nothing in return but for you to love me, care for me, trust me, and most of all put me in your life.. I think I deserve something in return right? for once babe.. I mean if you really are serious about me, I think you would know what the right things to do. I don't ask for much, I just want to feel appreciated and loved. I have had criticism and hatred from other throughout my life, I don't want it from you as well.. :(

always,
dee

lol, I can honestly say that me and baby have pulled all of the above. Definitely A, but sometimes baby can't stay still, he's one of those kids that move around lol. B, perfect example of tonight lol, while watching the movie 88 minutes starring Al Pacino, we both fell asleep on my couch and ended up in this lol. C, when baby moves from A :P. D, when it's hot and I can't sleep I tend to move a lot to find my perfect position. E, LOL no comment. F, This is probably the most common. G, if were mad at each other, but it would still end up in A or F. H, when we're both really tired? lol iono. This is funny.

`minds me of us

What I have with him is worth it. It is worth every lonely night, every tear I cry from missing him,
and the pain I feel from not having him close. It is worth it cause he is my one and only.
When I picture myself years from now, I see only him. No matter how painful distance can be,
not having him in my life would be so much worse.

---------- // ---------

Had a day off today, Business Law was okay. The prof picked on some girl so much that I felt so bad for her. Well whatever, that's what she gets for not listening. Anyways headed home after that and found my way to H&M to go shop for a bit. Tomorrow no work again, thank the Lord. I got to catch up with my online classes today and pretty much did everything I had to :).

That picture up there makes me just think of the past one year. Few more days and it is our one year, holy I still remember everything. That picture minds me of how comfortable we became with each other. With everything that we've been through I learned how to really appreciate and treasure the relationship we have. I still remember last year's Valentines day, you took me all over frikking Niagara, ate dinner, and we missioned it all the way to Vaughan for a movie. That was so prefect, but I wonder what this years Valentine's would be like ;) lol. I know we have had difficulties in the past and we will have them along the way, but who ever said it would come easy right? What matters is we're there for each other no matter what, hand in hand. I love you always. By the way that picture up there, if that was us, we would be sleeping ahaha. knowing you, you'd fall asleep in like 2 seconds lol :P. im not making sense anymore. I just miss you that all..


xoxo dee

Yesterday was my first day of BMGT 201 (Management class) it was okay, I made some new friends :). Anyways, I also had work yesterday which was okay, but I was really tired. I miss my baby already :(. I don't even know when I'm going to see him again, cuz we made some compromise. I won't get into much detail but ya. I have a day off today and work later.. BOOO (N)

appreciated

Watched lovely bones today, movie was pretty okay. Baby and I bought games and accessories for the wii that I finally got him, ordered some pizza, went over to my place, played for a bit and dadida.. Lol at baby doing my brother's project, you killed it hun.

Today was mixed with the good and the bad like always, but along with the bad there comes the good part. Today I realized that I was maybe wrong for the first time. Maybe you are keeping your promise that you will suck up your pride and apologize when needed. I hope you keep it up, cuz when I hear things like that from you, I know that I have accomplished one of my many goals, to change you. I really really really hope that you keep it up, it will get us far, trust me. I love you.

-----------//-----------
I'll screw up. I'll push you away if we're getting too close. I won't trust you until you've proven yourself. I get hurt easily and take a lot of things personally. But I'll love you with everything I have, and if that isn't enough, then I'm not enough.

one two three four

Give me more loving than I’ve ever had
Make me feel better when I’m feeling sad
Tell me I’m special even though I know I’m not
Make me feel good when I hurt so bad

Barely getting mad
I’m so glad I found you
I love being around you
You make it easy

Its as easy as 1-2-1-2-3-4
There’s only one thing
To Do, Three words
For you, I love you

There’s only one way to say
Those three words
That’s what I’ll do
(I love you) I love you

Give me more loving from the very start
Piece me back together when I fall apart
Tell me things you never even tell your closest friends
Make me feel good when I hurt so bad

You’re the best that I’ve had
And I’m so glad I found you
I love being around you

-----------//-----------


Anyways, my accounting class got canceled today so boo (N). But whatever, it's better to sleep in anyways. I got work later. OH EM GEE, why is it that I eat so much and not gain weight? I know my metabolism will catch up to me, like I don't wanna be tiny & skinny my whole life. I see girls that are skinnier than me, and it sometimes makes me feel like giving them some food lol. Not trying to be mean but ya.. whatever, I don't wanna rant..

too much load on my shoulders.

Today was my first day of school since I didn't go to my Monday class cuz my sched got changed. I just finished work & my head is killing me, I'm broke, no one appreciates me, I feel like crap, and my school might go on strike.. LIKE WTF, what's wrong with the world? I honestly hope the government pays these damn profs what they ask for like their so greedy, at least wait for the semester to finish. Like give me a break, we don't deserve this. It's not only Humber that's going on strike but also all the colleges. LIKEEEEE WHATTTT IN THE HECKKKKK? aah fuck this whatever.

how could you..

How could the one I gave my heart to
break my heart so bad
How could the one who made me happy
make me feel so sad
Won't somebody tell me so I can understand
If you love me
how could you hurt me like that

how could the one i gave my world to
throw my world away
how could the one who said i love you
say the things u say
how could the one i was so true to
just tell me lies
how could the one i gave my heart to
go and break this heart of mine

How could you be so cold to me
when I gave you everything
all my love, all I had inside
How could you just walk out the door
how could you not love me anymore
I thought we had forever
I can't understand

How could the one I shared my dreams with
take my dream from me
How could the love that brought such pleasure
bring such misery
won't somebody tell me,
Somebody tell me please
If you love me how could you do that to me

stop, look, and listen

Maybe you should stop what your doing, look at the past when you told me to be understanding, and listen to yourself and me. Nothing is wrong with what your doing to me, or thinking towards me. But it's not my fault that I can't sleep at night thinking about you, and what could we be talking about at the moment if you're not sleeping, or better yet if you could have seen me that night. But no, you asked me to be understanding, on my side I think I am being understanding: I don't try and wake you up at night anymore because I know how tired you are, I don't force you to see me because I figured if you really want to see me I won't have to ask, I don't do the things I used to do that ends up bringing a fight between us. But look what you're doing right now, you're not being understanding, I mean, what do you want me to do? I have done everything you told me to, and you know that. Others might even say I'm whipped, but I don't care what they say, I love you & that's all that matters. You push me away and now that I'm staying where you put me, you don't like it.. Tell me, tell me what you want me to do next. What you read awhile ago written here, who do you think I was trying to get my message across? well if you still got no clue, ITS YOU. But I really don't need to be pitied, I was just simply stating it would be nice if you were like that. But who am I to change you right? I'm no one to you, sometimes I feel like I'm just rug doll that just love you so much that I do what you want. But there should be more to us than that. I know whatever I write here don't will not get through to you, cuz you're just so TOUGH. But honestly this is in your hands...

-------------//-------------


I wanna get to the point where no matter what happens, no matter how long we go without being together, no matter how many fights we get in; that all we need is a kiss & suddenly we remember why we love each other so much.

be mushy : )

Chuck Bass: We could never be boring.
Blair Waldorf: You say that, but I know you. You're Chuck Bass.
Chuck Bass: I'm not Chuck Bass without you.
-------------//-------------

I'm a REAL sucker for guys like this. Guys that can make you melt & be so mushy and sweet to me. Someone that will treat me like a princess & give his everything to me because his in love with me. But who am I kidding? There's no one like that nowadays. All guys are assholes lol. Why can't I just change my boyfriend to be one of those leading mans & prince charmings? I should, but who am I right? Last thing I want to be is be selfish, but it would feel nice to be treated that way by my boyfriend all the time :P. Hope one day will come that my boyfriend will say, "I'm not Ray Valdivia without you." I would melt lol.

Anyways my sched for school got messed up, so now I have to juggle school, work, family, & boyfriend. But this is for my good, I can't give up now.

-dee

congratulations to the soon to be mommy

I swear I have a freakin minimal form of insomnia it's almost 4am and I still can't sleep. But maybe it's just really my bad habit of not sleeping early. I need my sleeping pattern fixed. Sleeping late once in awhile is fine, but not everyday, especially if school starts on Monday, well Tuesday for me.

Had work today, pretty busy, but not that tiring. I finished all the things I had to do like always. Thanks baby for picking me up from work. Baby & I chilled at my house and watched the children while eating some Chinese take-out for dinner lol. Typical Friday night :). I fell asleep through the movie, we both did lol. Baby went home around 1:30 and he's currently snoozing on the phone aha. CONGRATS to JEZZ for her soon to come baby :). I'm happy for you love!

I spent yesterday & today shopping, as in mad shopping. I spent almost $650 in a span of 24 hours. Whatever, I deserve it, worked hard for it. Also spent yesterday night with baby looking all over the place for a nintendo wii. But they're all sold out. Don't worry babe you'll get your wii when they get it back on stock.


this so reminds me of my boyfriend & I, but the first time ever we had a slumber party he was like choking me lol. It was funny but it cute at the same time. It was love. :)
COLLINGWOOD, NIAGARA, COLLINGWOOD, ETC <3

"I know i misbehaved, and you made your mistakes .
and we both still got room left to grow.
and though love sometimes hurts .
I still put you first and we`ll make this thing work.
But I think we should take it slow ."

-John Legend

--------------//--------------

Inspiring quote by John Legend, make me realize that maybe taking things slow sometimes will make everything better. Regardless, we're happy right now : ) I'm just saying. Gosh, school starts soon, all I've been doing is working my ass off. I can't wait to get paid. NTS: go to school to pick up my osap.

-dee

IN L-O-V-E

im not only in love with my boyfriend, but i'm also in L-O-V-E with anything JUICY COUTURE!

someone get me this watch please..


and this scarf


and this bracelet: since i lost mine and thats how close i can get, plus its only 60$ mine was 300$ fml. im clumsy


and these earrings


and this cute purse


their all from www.littleburgundyshoes.com
cmon be nice :P

could have, would have, should have. but didn't

You may not be her first, her last, or her only.
She loved before, She may love again.
But if she loves you now, what else matters?
She's not perfect you aren't either,
and the two of you may never be perfect together,
but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice,
and admit to being human and making mistakes,
hold onto her and give her the most you can.
She may not be thinking about you every second of the day,
but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break her heart.
So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give.
Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad,
and miss her when she's not there.
- Bob Marley