weeeeekend.

Haven't been on this for awhile now. But just updating, Friday, I chilled with Lauren after like 37286487 years of not seeing her. We met up with Nicole. Chilled around for a bit then went home.. Took the bus with Athina & James, lol I felt like the old times when I would always be their third wheel. Anyways, baby came over, got some food & watched Face Off. Saturday, had practice at Tita Cheryl's house then went bowling with baby, brother, & cousin. Yesterday went to church & watched old dogs with baby...

Thats about it.. I have to work on my major projects..
.
ds

JINXED.

I knew it! I just jinxed something good. I pointed it out already but now it's like where else can I go but again.. downwards. TELL ME HOW I LOST MY JACKET! like wtf? who loses their jacket? anyways I shall get a new one. No school tomorrow yay =]. It's nice to hear about my old friends sometimes and ya.. I don't wanna blabber about whatever I heard. but ya I miss my baby, haven't seen him since saturday and I feel like u don't even care much no more, which sucks. But anyways Saturday, practice! lol.. baby be ready for your part =P

knock on wood.

I really don't wanna jinx anything but I really gotta post and tell u guys how happy I am. First, I'm relieved with school & second my relationship is going great. I don't want to point the good things out, but I just have to give credits to God. I prayed to him all the time, I always do. I believe that I honestly deserve what I'm getting right now due to working hard.
Thank you baby for spending Wednesday & Friday with me. I had lots of fun and honestly forgot about all the difficulties we have been having :). I just love playing around with you =] lol it's fun. It reminds me that I can always be a kid at heart when I'm with you. I love it. You said awhile ago before you left that it made you tired lol. GOOD! =P it's your fault! Anyways, Thanks for taking me to watch New Moon, even though it was early lol. & thank you for the Mcdonald's for breakfast, lol I'm such a pig. I beat you in SCENE IT :).
Tomorrow, good luck to my brother with his game. They better win, too bad me & baby can't watch cuz it's too early. I'm pretty sure we'd still be sleeping at 9:30am lol. But I'm seeing baby tmrw, bringing him along to my Tito's Condo at Lakeshore, pretty sure he'd fall in love with it lol. My little cousins are going to be there so he won't be bored ahah.

Anyways I'll leave it here. pretty tired.. it's already 1:08am.
*yawn*

- DEE

RELIEVED.

Geez, thank you Lord for getting me through the day. Today was probably one of the most stressing day I've had in school. First I had a Math Exam, then I had to finish my marketing project, then Humanities exam. On top of that the weather is screwed, it's raining. Oh well tomorrow baby is skipping again :) which should be fun. Honestly, I need a new job. PLEASEEE LORD!!

Good news, my family member from the Philippines are coming here. My cousins that I'm really close with when I was still there. I miss them, and I can't wait for them to come. :)

No school tomorrow. yay

look who's talking.

today was pretty sick. Didn't have school as usual so baby skipped school for once after a long time & spent the day with me from the moment I woke up til like 10 minutes ago which is like 10:15ish. My mom cooked us some breakfast lol, then we finished watching the Shining & Nightmare on Elm Street. Although I fell asleep during Nightmare of Elm St.. aha, I got ready after & we went out & I got baby scene it for ps3 & bubble teas & snacks. Got home again and watched look who's talking, the babies were cute. Honestly we got bored aha & played Modern Warfare 2 with my brother & two of his friends. I even ended up playing ahah. Baby helped me study for my exam for a bit while my dad & brother were playing NBA 2k10 lol. thanks babe for telling me it's bad to memorize lol, that's the only way I actually can study & it's been getting me far so far =P. Lol, Carlo got beat on 2k10 by baby using Oklahoma city thunder. Anyways, hopefully I pass that Humanities exam, & I also have my second last exam on Math tomorrow. Thanks baby for skipping and spending the day with me, honestly we haven't spent a weekday together in a long time. & I appreciate it :). Even if we just chill the whole day it all worth it :) I loved today. I LOVE YOU!

Anyways, I was talking to Lauren for a bit the other day, and it was nice catching up for a bit. I miss the old days, like what she said on her blog. But whatever is bound to happen will happen, and hopefully those days would come back. No matter what, all my friends, new or old, plays/played a big part in my life.

- DEE

p.s.
i learned how to crack my nose aha babe =p

Haven't updated in awhile. But I have a lot to do this week in terms of school. Major projects, Exams, Assignments, & Essay. SHIT MY LIFE. I also got my new D&G glasses :) that's why I wanted for Christmas :). But damn it cost 600$ for everything. But I'm covered 400. So only had to pay 200 not bad. But anyways, last night was sad but my eyes are now opened. I gotta let loose and let you live your life the way it should be lived. I'd rather be with you when you got time for me than not be with you at all. I'm giving you freedom now, but it doesn't mean my feelings will change. I'm doing this because I love you too much. I know that a little sacrifice and a lot of understanding will make this better. I didn't know you were holding that much from me. I thought I was your best friend but surprised that you told me these things just now. But better late than never.. regardless I love you.

Someday.

Having my internet screwed up for the past days and now its back up and running. I just failed my marketing test today I think. Nothing really to update about but watching 2012 tonight with babe.

-
You don't have to be tough every minute of every day.
It's okay to let down your guard.
In fact, there's moments when it's the best thing you could possibly do;
as long as you choose those moments wisely.
At the end of the day,
you either focus on what's tearing you apart,
or what's holding you together.


DEE

NTS: I SHOULD STUDY MORE.
lol, I know I might sound like a grade grubber sometimes but it's funny that whatever tests I do, IS REALLY HARD. And I know I work hard, I at least try to. But anyways, I honestly think I failed my business exam today because I didn't study that hard. But I hope I pass.. *cross fingers* I have one more test to do this week and I better start on my projects.. meeh.. this is gay.

geez, it's already week 10 of school. 6 or 5 more weeks of school and first sem is done.. this week i have two tests & majors projects due soon. i should be studying right now but i just want to update.

i feel so disappointed that i can't even spend any of those two important days with you. especially with one being our 11 months. all I can do is blab about being disappointed yet can't really do anything about it. i mean i understand the situation it just makes me sad though. oh well. =(

TGIF =]

THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY!! lol.. as usual I didn't reach my 8-11 class because I was too lazy. It's kind of pointless to go honestly. Anyways, Baby came to pick me up yesterday night after school. Thanks babe, even though you made me wait for like 9436 hours while I froze my ass there lol. Me and baby chilled at my house for a bit. & got messy aha. We watched knocked up. Anyways I have to study. lol.. I have exams this coming week and I need major studying to maintain my marks.

FML

geez, I feel as if I'm on rock bottom. My internet is down =( fuck my life. But honestly I can't control all these happenings, so I'm here to face them. I hate my life right now, but there are things that are keeping me from hanging on that piece of string such as, boyfriend, friends, & family well not really family. But no matter what my family has always been soldiering it out. Anyways, I think I really need a getaway from all these scenes. Perhaps like that Niagara night with baby. But ya ill leave it here, I'm doing this from a wireless that I'm found lmao.. I got an exam tomorrow, I need to study. Must I say I'm getting an overall 82% average on my midterms :) proud of myself. I only have to improve on my lowest mark, Marketing. I'm getting a 69 =( .. I really want to see baby tomorrow since I think that's all that can bring me up after all these downs I have been having lately. But I doubt I will because he's busy =( oh well.. I got school til 6 tomorrow.. So good luck to me.. =(

rewrite the memories

Trust me, I wish I could rewrite everything. I wish that I had that power in my hands to correct all the wrongdoings we did to each, all the hurtful words we have said to each other. But I can't no one can, all we can do now is work on what we have. Like how we worked on this with nothing at all maybe even less than nothing from past experiences we had from each other. I know that we have the ability, but we just choose not to do jack shit about it. Pardon my language but it really is getting into me now. All I can think of is make it better, try to make it better, and hope it works. I know you do too. But the sad thing is nothing works. The minute I realize I should loosen up a bit and actually do it and be nice and understanding to you. It is the exact same time you do to me, what you don't want me doing to you. Yes, I did say we can never get along, I know you know we can't. All our efforts go in the garbage. Why can't we make it well worth the effort? I am sick and tired of not trusting you, taking your time from everything, being selfish over you, accusing you of things, and so much more. So I won't. I trust you, but like what I said, you don't have to keep secrets and lies to me because I would rather hear it from you straight up than hearing it sooner or later from another source. But I'm also sick of you not trusting me & accusing me of things I don't do when we're not together. See that's the main reason why I want you all for myself all the time, so you know that 'I'M ALL FOR YOU' as you say. Give me the benefit of the doubt because I have been trying to understand your motives with this kind of attitude. But I won't go on yapping about how your this and I'm this and we're this. I've said these things many times and hope that it gets to you & you finally see the bigger picture not just the literal things. I miss everything as well, but what can we do now? Nothing but make what we have better. But like what I always say it's up to you to put me where you want in your life. Because for sure you're the first on my list and positioned in the middle in my heart. I don't have any past times to replace you. Because I can do that on the side but I can't do you on the side. It's like you're the main course of the meal. I know you take me the wrong way all the time, and to be honest, I don't like it. I don't like when you get mad at me for not receiving my text msg after a few minutes, so try being in my shoes, what do you think I feel when you ignore me when you're busy doing something else? I'm not going to tell you because I want you to realize the little things we both do. I hope it just hits you soon that if no one works on it, nothing will happen. If we don't put an effort to it, it will turn out shit. I just want you to realize that if we lose this, it will never happen again.

Now it's really up to you..
I have given enough support and patience, that I'm afraid I might be running out. So don't let that happen please. Thanks.

-dee

9 months <3

First off, HAPPY 9 MONTHS BABY!! yesterday made me realize how much I really love you. Your absence made me realize how much you really mean to me. Not even 5 minutes after it happened, I just started bawling my eyes due to the fact that I was helpless and lost. I really am grateful for you and for the times we have been through no matter how happy or sad they were. Yesterday also made me realize that I truly have never felt like this. For some odd reason, I don't know why, Me & YOU makes me weak. I apologize for being such a bitch sometimes. It's because I'm paranoid. I never meant anything I have said that hurted you. I also apologize for not being the perfect girlfriend, but no one is perfect so I hope you accept all these sincere apologies from my heart. I know that no matter what we can get through whatever, whenever, however. I love you so much. 3 more months and it's our one year. I'm so looking forward to it. You better make a big surprise =P lol kidding. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

always,
DEE / MONKEY =]

cute

Katie & Tom's daughter Suri, IS SOOO CUTE. She's so going to grow up pretty.
I love her eye color.