aaah, today i had to go to school just because i have to lol. I'm feeling so grumpy lately and sorry for the people that are affected, *coughcough* baby lol. They were even teasing me at school about being a gator because I was snapping, like gosh shut up :) it's okay I love y'all. My head phones broke for some reason but I'll fix them. I saw what Lauren did to herself because of the whole situation and seriously best imma cut off your nails soon. OMG, I screwed up on my Religion test today lmao, I literally left the whole thing blank. The teacher was making fun of me cuz of that, but whatever, at least I gave in the bonus part which was my notes and it was 15 points lol. Lunch was fun, we kept playing president and I kept losing, then I kept winning. Mine & Lauren's speed game was not very speedy lmao. Cosmo was fun, we had a presentation from the head professor & two students of Marca College. From what I saw Marca is such a good college for Hair & Esthetics, which makes me think of wanting to go there now, 8 gran for one year, it's pretty okay huh? well it's a private college. Chemistry test tomorrow, but class today is so funny, everyone started talking bout the website FML lmao it's too jokes because our teacher is like our friend & laughs with us. I literally wanted to pee, and everyone kept making me laugh. But whatever is clever.

I'm so excited to see baby tonight :) I miss him, & I just wanna have a chill afternoon/night-ish with him, since i've been being grumpy lately lol. 2 DAYS BABE :) <3 I can't wait. LOVE YOU LOTS!



- dee

Since I stayed home today I decided I was gunna change mine & baby's layout I needed a simple one cuz yaa. I'll prolly change mine again soon. Anyways I slept last night & woke up to an unbearable tummy ache. So I decided to stay home, I know I told myself I wasn't going to skip anymore but I can't possibly go to school like this especially it's a liturgy schedule. Me & him had such a good 'realtalk' this morning while on his way to work, about all the stuff we've been through, and our past relationships and stuff. It's so refreshing & it's such a great feeling knowing that I'm the first girl he's had a serious relationship with. I'm glad that he's taking this seriously like how I am taking it as well. I think that praying to God every night for this helped. It helped that it's amusing that no matter how stubborn we both are, no matter how opposite we are from each other, and no matter how hard the challenges that we face, we still both are here caring & holding on to each other. All in all everything is great :). Anyways I gotta get ready, it's so ugly outsideee gross & I have to drive in this kind of weather? sheeesh-ka-bob.

aaaah, today was um an okay day. What a 'SWIT' day once again except for the fact that i'm not on the schedule for work. WTH, I looked at the schedule & there was only 3 people on the stupid thing like.. But whatevs I gotta call my manager & see what's up. I decided to go to the doctors alone after checking my schedule just because I was being nice to my mom :) she was sick so I decided that she didn't need to come with me. I was there from the time baby left union station until he got there to pick me up. Like that was prolly like an hour.. holy chamoly.. But thanks baby for picking me up and coming with me to the doctor lol we'll keep whatever the doctor said a secret :). I have no choice but to drink medicine & follow what he said. "wow, you're in your work shoes with dress pants & north stars t-shirt?" LMFAO sorry I just had to make fun of you on that one ;) it's all love. At least I got to see baby today and I got to pinch him cuz of the silly things he did. Spent a little more time with him until he had to go to ball practice =( I was sad but at the same time it made me happy since I was bummy from my schedule at work. Was supposed to get our land pass today but no cuz I finished at the doctors around 7, which was very gay like my boyfriend lol.

Anyways, KLAUDINE ... SHE'S MURKED :) <3 lol

gotta do homework which is another bummer while waiting for boyfriend to finish ball practice.


- dee

WHAT A 'SWIT' DAY..

URGH, I worked yesterday & I woke up late this morning so imma go to school soon. At least I get to take a nap cuz I got work tonight again boo.. It's such a nice day out, frikking 22 degrees but apparently it's gunn rain in the afternoon. Work was okay, it's so chill, Kuya Ian, Greg, & Linda passed by making fun of me cuz I look so crap on my uniform lol. I'm scared to work alone next week cuz I really don't know my stuff yet but it takes time for me to get used to it. I literally fell asleep on the phone with Ray last night, sorry baby I was tired lol. But I was so hyper when I got home wasn't I? =P Too bad baby couldn't pick me up from work yesterday, I wanted to see him but it's kay cuz he's picking me up tonight =) & I'm excited to see him :). It's such a SWIT day outside right babe? LMFAOOO. sorry I told you I was gunna put it lmfao. Oh man Humber Test tmrw & I'm scared I really don't know my Bio things but whatever :) I get to spend time with my baby tomorrow :) perhaps Yorkdale? Downtown? whereever, as long as im with you =]. I'm so mad that you're done school & I still got few more months left. Now you can skip work & surprise me all the time ;) lol. Anyways I shall nap & continue this later..

- dee

P.S.
I MISSSSSS YOURE ASSHOLENESS BABE :)
it's all love. love youuuu!

if it comes back then that's how you know.

Yesterday was my first day of work :) I was scared at first but hey it was good. Pretty easy, so chilling & fun. I was kind of tired though because I didn't get my daily nap before going to work due to driving school. Speaking of which, that pissed me off too because I didn't even drive that much cuz I was writing down all the steps ahah, I really have to study all kinds of parking. Anyways, work was good except one thing, it burns my hands & it hurts. I should get used to it soon & memorize all the stuff. Big thanks to my baby for picking me up after being so tired with work. I got home and I literally just collapsed on my bed while on the phone with baby. I missed him. Good thing i saw him last night. But moving on, today, guess whattttt ? I got Red Violet peek-a-boos at cosmo class, thanks Amber :). Amber had the opportunity to touch my virgin hair aha. I think I want more highlights though cuz it doesn't really show that much .. hmmmm?

-

I'm SICK of this, SICK OF BEING SICK. You're constantly telling me that I don't love you, like you really know what's inside my head! It's annoying & not nice to know that my own boyfriend doesn't even trust or believe the love that I have for him. You're telling me you're done hurting? well I'M DONE HURTING TOO! I'm done with all the fussing & fighting everyday. My world & my life already revolves around you & that's not enough for you? What have I done to hurt you? Did I hurt you by not typing on this blog about you? or what I feel about you? Well guess what, you hurt me way more than that. You're constantly telling me I don't care when all I cared for is this relationship & how to make you happy. Always putting you above everyone else, that I even forgot about my own friends. You're always thinking at the back of your head that I'm doing shit behind your back when we both know I DON'T. & we both know that YOU DO. I told you to help me out, yet all you think about is your feelings. A relationship goes two way not only one. I know you're stubborn, but what have I done from day one? I dealt with it, all the imperfections, the non-sense fights, the cheating, the lying, the past, the faults. You told me it was gunn change & so far it hasn't improved. I gave you all that you wanted & more than you deserved, yet you still didn't open my eyes and tell your self that maybe I really do love you. Cuz trust me no good girl would put up with the kind of shit we've both been through. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I really tried my best with this. Don't come back to me until you find out what you're gunn do to make this relationship go two way. Don't come back to me until you open your eyes into knowing how much I cared about you. I just can't deal with immaturity anymore. As much as I care, sometimes it's alright to let things go, like what the song says, 'if you love something let it go, & if it come's back then that's how you know' ..




- dee.

F*CK MY LIFE.

Fuck my life sideways! Woke up to an ugly weather today which is really gross, doesn't help me, bad weather especially rain makes me sad for some reason. I HATE IT! Anyways not only the weather is a downer but school is also a downer, I had 3 unit tests today. Religion was such a loaft, seriously there was like 7 people in the class that showed up. I guess my teacher was right when he said "sometimes success is all about showing up", which is why I'm really pushing myself to go to school lol. Cosmo test was hard frikking 110 questions, like wow is she crazy? but whatevs. Chem killed me, I fucked up on my quiz, i got 7 out of 10, which is okay but I can do a lot better. I should really stop sleeping & start listening.Thank goodness my dad was home to pick me up from school cuz there's no way im walking under this ugly ass weather. Speaking of bad mood, my phone's gunn get cut off soon which sucks balls, but whatever I'll get my own :).

The weekend was so nice, spent Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, & Saturday with the boyfriend. Geez my friends really has to work out again, shame shame ! you guys lost to KIDS! lol. out of shape much? LOL it was fun when me, trixie, jed, & ero got bored & decided to drive ray's car, well ero did. No he didn't get mad lol he was cool with it surprisingly. It was so fun chilling with them, I miss them. I should really start chilling again since the weather is really nice nowadays except for today. Like what I said Enough of me hibernating right? Also i forgot to mention that Trixie & Ryan killed me & Laurence on ball, damn Trixie is good, Ryan depended on her lol. But too bad I was feeling sick so decided to go home early, few minutes after Athina came. Sorry wife =( lol. I'm slowly coming out of my shell :) .. The couples should do a date soon :) i'm so down lol. But anyways me & Ray watched Silence of The Lambs, pretty sick movie I thought it was gunn be scary but ya. AND AND AND you know were bored when... WE WATCH CONGO ON A FRIDAY NIGHT. LMFAO. losers much? whatevs, I hope I feel better soon so I can finally go out and enjoy.

OUUUU, i have work tmrw.. oh mhan, wish me luck. I know I'll do good. This is also one issue why I never went out that much no more, CUZ NO MONEY, HONEY. geez, and now that I'm gunn have money, Ill have to give my card to Ray or Athina because I can't spend anymore lol. Anyways off to my homework. CIAO!


P.S.
GOOD LUCK ON YOUR EXAM TMRW BABY!
you'll do good, two or three more
exams to go and what your done?
I HATE YOU! & I still have like
two and a half more months ..
FUCK MY LIFE.

PROMISE.

The few days have been tough, things were just worst as before. I trusted you with all of me. You promised me that you would never do that to me, I'll keep it to myself. I felt the most angry feeling I have ever felt in awhile when I saw what you were doing behind my back. You we're caught, I saw them with my own eyes. I'm not the type of person that believes what people tell me but once I see it for myself it's a different story. When you did all of those things, especially 'throwing our love away', I didn't know what I was going to do but say 'drive me home'. I just couldn't believe that the love of my life did such evil thing behind my back, I wanted to be alone, I never wanted to see your face again, didn't wanna hear anything to do with you. I'm not going to lie, you lost me for a second there, I guess I was letting my mind take over my heart. But after you cried so much, my heart actually took over my mind. Seeing you cry in front of me, hearing the words that came out of your mouth, all the apologies, & the things you did to actually have things back to normal. I appreciate all of those because for once I'm not the one giving in & trying to do make our relationship work, it was you. I really felt cared & loved. Now it's back to normal but remember along the way, you still have to prove to me that you are MAN ENOUGH & MATURE ENOUGH to actually commit to this & not fool around with my feelings. I'm kindly asking you that if time comes & you don't want this anymore, you don't have to stick around, just please tell me & PLEASE don't ever do what you did, they're just really unacceptable. I love you too much to let it go just like that.
-
What beautiful weather yesterday and today. I can finally feel the sun omg time for me to come out of my shell & stop hibernating. I have hibernated enough lol. The downer is... IM SICK =( but whatevs. I just spent the day with boyfriend yesterday, thursday, & wednesday lol. played ball as usual. Chilled at my house last night. Baby if my brother wins & scored 6 points you better do the deal you make lol or he'll bug you forever.

LOL boyfriend's blog (http://1-con.blogspot.com/) made me laugh like there's no tomorrow. You're too harsh babe, I told you not to be that mean to her. But it's okay at least you didn't expose her about the things you told me. Anyways moving on.. YAY I got a job :), finally. I've been unemployed since January, time for me to frikking get money. I'm still disappointed at the fact that I quit my last job, like seriously how dumb can I get? But it's whatever, thanks kuya ian for getting me the job :). That dude made me wait for like 2 hours, like sh*t. But whatevs I got the job anyways =]. Yesterday was a pretty sick day-off from school. After my job interview, baby picked me up well waited for me, since he took half the day off from work lol. Went to my house to finish folding the clothes I was supposed to do before I left, see I'm being a good girl lol. I guess we also went to my house to pick up my brother's ball, since Ray's outdoor ball sucks ass lol. Went to Gonzaga and we saw JOEY, our new found friend. He's such a cutie, him & my boyfriend even played one-on-one for some McDonald's. "You better buy me my McDonald's next time I see you" lol, baby you're such a bully. Too bad he was a cheater aha. Got bored at Gonzaga & went off to Marcellinus, played some street ball, well I watched he played lol. Anyways I checked the PHYBA rankings, and they're not the only team that played 6 times omg baby, you're so blind put on some glasses lol. I had driving school today shit my life, I just can't wait to finish, I wanna start driving. Baby you gotta teach me how to do my 3-point turn & my parallel please & thanks =].
I'm so looking forward to this whole week, I can feel the sun. & I have the biggest feeling that this summer I'm going to be dark! I'm scared lol. Whoever has a Wonderland Season Pass from last year, please let me know if you guys wanna renew it this year Me & Ray needs 2 more people. THAAAAAAAANKS. Okay, this is like non-sense now like always. whatevssss, done done done.

Btw, people has to stop fucking spraying in the hallways. I seriously hate where my locker is located well all of our lockers are located. I loved my locked in Grade 10 & 11. I hate going there knowing some stinky person sprayed his/her fucking perfume that makes everyone gag, cough, sneeze, & complain. Geeeez, I was literally coughing my lungs out, & this is like the third time this happened. So whoever you are, please spray your shit when there's no one affected thanks.


Baby & Joey playing one-on-one

Thursday: stayed home once again..geez I really gotta stop being lazy, & I will. Ray came over to pick me up & go back around to my house to change his pants ahaha too jokes, watched What Happened in Vegas & Identity. That identity movie creeped the living heck out of me. But we were seriously turning around all the time that day, literally.

Friday: Church was so long holy I almost fell asleep, or did i? =P. I seriously thought it was going to finish round 3, but no.. It finished at around 5. Me & boyfriend went to the movies to watch Observe & Report, I still think that I Love You Man is better. That movie was just corny but it's okay it still made me laugh aha =P. Lol baby you want some SWISS CHALET? seriously, Swiss Chalet hates us. It was only 10 & they're already closed, so being a grumpy old man when he's hungry, we ended up at Denny's again lol, it's okay we love Denny's anyways. Saw Gloria, Ashley, & Ralph when we were about to eat. I also just realized that day that I could scream really loud, & so can he. Wow, we're too stubborn. It's all good in the hood.

Saturday: Decided to go Downtown with who else? my boyfriend lol. Went shopping, I must say that the new Nautica Oceans perfume smells like heaven aha. But don't get it, I don't want you guys smelling like my boyfriend, kidding. Finally ate some Swiss Chalet that he wanted since the night before aha. Chinese Swiss Chalet =P .. " did i just get a whole chicken? " ahaha. But before all that happened I almost forgot we finally cleaned his car. Geez man that car needed it real bad. But still didn't finish cleaning the inside part which we HAVE TO DO soon right? lol. That also brought back memories from summer 08 damn. Exact same car wash place lol. Then went to get some ice cleam at baskin robins. Geez babe you're seriously getting me fat. After downtown, went back to Sauga to play some ball at Gonzaga, that brought back memories as well. It was sooo cold. " yo, look at his calves " ; " *burp* omg popeyes right there " .. omg too funny =P.



Today: Church was so early, woke up because I had to. Went to the park. Came home, boyfriend came over & bonded with the family : ) while I fell asleep lol. Baby you still owe me chocolates! Thanks for coming to see me today btw you're the best =]. You got my parents in a good mood cuz of that thing you brought for them, iono how to spell it lol. I literally laughed at my mom when she said "how come ray kisses me when he comes here or leaves, & you guys don't" geez. It's love. I bet my brother is still celebrating that he beat you on NBA Live, booooring. You know what else is boring? BASEBALL. Im such a noob when it comes to sports. fuck me



-

On the other hand, who ever said that THIS doesn't phase me? Obviously it does because it involves me & other things. Don't worry I know bout the Blue Mountain thing, because before he bugged you, he bugged me first. Like what I said, when I push him away he makes you a rebound. You know why? because you're letting him. We both know guys get brainwashed easily, so all the things you told him about what I have done in the past affects him, why you say? because he cares about me. You really think that if he likes you or wants to be with you like what you're trying to say, he's still going to be by my side right now? Maybe you should actually just tell me all the things that he's 'hiding' because I am curious. You told him to stay with me, yet you're admitting that you still have feelings for him. I just don't get, is this the way of you getting revenge from me because of the past? Well I guess the things you told him about me didn't have any effect because it came from him that you don't matter to him. Yes maybe time will tell, but so far it's been great being with him. You're telling me I'm mindfucking him? He's not stupid to not know if i am mindfucking him or not. & If I am like what you say, we seriously wouldn't be together by now. He turned his back on you over some gee? That proves one more thing, that he really doesn't wanna be with you so i really don't know why you're telling me that he's not serious about me. As much as you know him, I know him well enough to tell you that he doesn't tolerate bullshit, he gets what he wants, & he's not stupid. So if I am fooling him, why would he see me almost everyday of the week? why would he meet my whole family? why would he bond with my family? why would he bring me to his games? go to dinner with me & my family? you really think that if he doesn't care about me or if he thinks im bullshitting him, he would do those things? I don't think so. It seems like you have a lot to say about how I am getting fooled by him & him not being serious about me, when you finally think that it's the right time to talk bout it let me know cuz I will be waiting. & I hope they're no bullshit.

Woman to Woman

WOMAN TO WOMAN

- Thea Monyee



I’m actually glad that you were bold and brave enough to call my house
So, that we can discuss this woman to woman and try to work some of these things out
So, we can compare notes on some dates and times, and try to figure out some of his tired ass lies
I’m actually glad to be hearing from the lips that left the lip sticks on my man’s colla
Even though he told me he was working late, just tryna earn a couple extra dollas
And I loved and I trusted him, so his bullshit I would swallow
Even though my intuition would never let me sleep
So, I guess the gap in our relationship was where you thought you would fit in ?
Just an insecure woman chasing after a man who’s already got a woman
But your pussy is not deep enough for a real man to fall in love with,
And this we already know because see your skirt is so short that it already shows your best assets
So, there’s no point in wasting time tryna figure out what you’re thinking after all
He is not fucking you for your mind
And you’re still young at heart, so you think this is real cute
Telling your friends girl, he’s cheating on me because he really wants you
And the reality is we are nothing alike
When he can’t deal with all of me, he goes to you to get me off of his mind, but it never works
See, he gets real still as he lies between the sheets that he sees
And now he’s tuning you out because he’s picturing me
Because you put up with that shit that I just won’t deal with
Because I’m strong in who I am
And he loves that, he loves that about me
It’s just that sometimes he can’t stand the reality that he doesn’t deserve a woman like me
And when he feels that way, well hell…
That’s when he comes crawling to your dirty shit
And just like a child, you thought you would call me to share
Calling me to disclose with me the colour of my man’s underwear
And you tell me like I don’t already know
Hell, I bought ‘em
Tryna tell me about how my man fucks, bitch I taught him
So, why don’t you do me a favour
And when he comes over tonight, and he’s coming and you’re coming…
And you’re both coming at last,
Just simply lean back his head and look him deep in his eyes,
And you’ll see me, waving back at your ass .




-
some deeeeeeeeep shit, kudos to Athina for this =)

wow, i haven't updated in quite awhile now. Well the past days have been rough & tough, but like everything else I'm getting through with my life, with the people that are most important in it. Me & Ray had our first double date with Athina & James, that was fun. Fast & The Furious was a good movie, though some people were saying that Tokyo Drift was better, well I still think this one is good, they're all good. Ive been slacking in school really bad, I gotta pick it up & start going to school. & I will. Today was a really scary day for me, but God answered my prayers, I'll keep that to myself. I really love how girls think they know me & talk shit to my boyfriend about me, saying what I did with my ex-boyfriend. It's just funny, because you don't know shit, you don't know me, I'm really glad that you took the time to even think of what to tell my boyfriend. Too bad girl, he doesn't like you, so telling him "oh ray i'd never do that to you" just makes you look like a slut. So keep talking, I'll listen. Let's see what else you're going to come up with. HAHA.

Anyways, I really miss my ugly. Thank God I'm seeing him tomorrow. I really need him, a hug from him & not letting go. This week is tough for us, but we got through it. I LOVE YOU.

"I've got my future planned,
& I swear you're in it.. I LOVE YOU"

- ray valdivia


♥
DEE.

EGGGGIES.

APRIL 2,2009

First off HAPPY 13 MONTHS BEST, we got enough behind us & more ahead of us =] I LOVE YOU & I got you ALWAYS! Yesterday was such a nice day out 14 degrees, went to Jack Darling with almost everyone. I missed them a lot a lot a lot. Thanks JAMES RYAN & LAURENCE for making us 'BASSS' our way there lol. It's kay we were with Ryan, Linda, Jeff, Erick & Andrew. Me, Klaudine & Athina did such a long ass mission & a half. Got there and it was MAD COLD. which I think led to the fact that I feel sick right now. Omg did I ever tell you guys that those Cadbury EGGIES thingys were so addicting? well now you know =P. We took nuff pictures, it was so beautiful there. It's so hard to climb a frikkin tree seriously, so baby if you're reading this I just proved to you that I ain't no monkey =P. Boyfriend picked me, Athina, & Klaudine up around 6:30 after getting his haircut, we drove along Mississauga Rd. talking bout people getting murdered there & stuff, which scares Athina. Im not gunn lie Im scared too lol. But anyways boyfriend drove us to 'MIDGET LAND' lol. Athina & Klaudine we're so amazed ahaha. I could see myself in them when I first saw that place. After dropping the two at terms me & baby went to Sauga Secondary to shoot around, holy their courts there are tall =/. Surprisingly I got some in : ). Thanks baby for picking getting me from that cold ass place =]

APRIL 1, 2009

HAPPY 2ND MONTH BABY, the past few month/s have been really great with you. We have so many ups & downs, yet we still get through them no matter what. The things you've made me realize, made me learn, & made me experience are such great accomplishment so far. I never get sick of spending time with you. Sorry for the hardships & stubbornness I give you sometimes, the words that come out of my mouth when we argue are non-intentional & I'm sorry. I know there are a lot of more great things ahead of us .Like what I always say, I look forward to them, & I'm excited =]. I've never had this with anyone before, now I can say I'm settled & I won't give up on you, on us, & this. Sometimes it might seem that I don't care but I really care for you the most. I Love You, & thank you for everything ugly ;) .