love invading your personal space

You told me nothing would change, you told me your feelings won't change, you told me this, you told me that. Yet I know that your feelings did change, everything changed, and I relied & trusted you with all my well being. The way we talk is different, the way you kiss me is different, the way you give me hugs is different, the way we walk is different, the way you show me how much I mean to you is different. Don't get me wrong, I'm noticing the littlest things because they mean the most to me. I don't know if it's shame that's making you do all these to me, but I've learned the hard way. I've learned not to care about others when something is important to me. You're probably the only thing that matters to me right now, yet it feels like I'm still the last one on the list. Honestly, sometimes I feel like you just see me as a friend and nothing more, like this wouldn't last so you're not making an effort. But why? WHY are you doing this? I feel like I'm just helpless, and that I always look dumb in front of you. Like all you think of me is an IMMATURE girl, that you look at me like I'm a kid. Well I can't help myself from being a kid at heart. I like flirting with you even with other people in front of us, I like having serious talks with you as well, and I love acting myself in front of you because I thought you would accept me for who I am. I love invading your personal space just because. I love watching you sleep, I can honestly stare at you forever. I just love when I feel like I'm the centre of your world, which isn't all the time. I love the fact that you make me feel special sometimes. All I'm saying is I love the little things. Why can't I just control you to do this little things as I say, a bit more than you usually do. To even hear you say you love me, means so much to me because you don't tell me it much anymore. You might say that oh that's the honeymoon stage. But to me, it's not! I want those little things to hang around and never change like how you changed them. This isn't my way of fighting with you, but it's my way of venting myself from the things I have been mustering up to tell you. I just can't seem to tell you due to the fact that you'll for sure think that I have the wrong intention. I mean I love you, SO MUCH that I just want to get to you. But I can't seem to. And it's sad...