LOL, failed my chemistry lab exam.. well i think. but honestly everyone did. that's how you know this time it's not only me slacking.. too much stress, but ill be done with it in a week. then I'll be free :), when i said i was going to hibernate i did lol. but im gunn come out of my shell soon :):):), can't wait. I missed my friends, miss the movie nights, I miss the random chillages everywhere, I miss downtown with Athina, I miss summer 08.

if you guys have nothing better to say bout my situation, jst keep your comment to yourself. got a problem with my posts, then don't read my posts. who invited you to read them anyways? no one, so if you're gun hate keep the hate to yourself thank you very much ..

WTF, i'm so stressed. STRESSED MORE THAN EVER.. stressed to the point where I let it ruin the relationship, ruin things that I have left, ruin everything. FUCK ME!.. when it comes to stress, I'm such a sucky person. So much isu's, tests, exams, papers due, etc. and so little time..

Thank you for holding me down, & holding on to me no matter the situation. Forgive my stubbornness & the hardships I put you through, I swear I'll owe you one when this is all over. I love you.

-

yea , we've had our fights and we've put each other through hell . We've picked each other up when one of us fell . We'll always be together ,because i honestly don't know where I'd be without you .

So about my last post, I guess I'll keep this one .. lol anyways, the weekend was bomb digity. Friday was one of my best Fridays yet. Baby really made up for me missing prom. Being away from all the crap & stress & blah's we're both going through, even just for a day & the next really felt good. I guess I can also say that, that was his gift for me for our fourth monthsary :). It's cute, and it should be a must again.. Perhaps my birthday? this time, my treat :). Over all it was so fun, it also brought down the troubles we were having as for our relationship. I guess we just really missed each other. Watching fireworks was such a cute scenery, I so want fireworks when I get married, or like when something special happens lol. Wonderland was also bomb, even though we were both tired, I have 4 new stuffed toys :) lol, the family is growing aha. No one really ever did any of these things for me until now, & I'm loving it.. Thank you Baby, YOU'RE THE BEST!! but you gotta stop spoiling me! I LOVEEEEEE YOU

Now, it's back to reality.. few more days and I'm finally going to be stress free. Can't wait =P


i so want a copy of this pleaseeeee ? =]

no more facebook,
no more blogger,
no more nothing
for now ..

CIAO!

UN-stressed?

I'm finally done my cosmetology practical exam. It was pretty hard doing Maryse's hair today because of her daughter, but she was so cute. I love her to death lol. Thank God I finished without having to cry, I was about to but no. I'm still stressed but I think I'll get through it.

can't wait for tomorrow :), I really really really really really really need a get away. I also really really really really really really need to finish packing lol. FUCK MY LIFE.

SO like I think I need a new layout. I'm getting bored of my one right now. Wow for the past week until now I haven't skipped a day of school, & I'm hella proud of myself :) .. Shit, I have two weeks of school left and I'm still procrastinating about my ISU's that are due by next week. KILL ME NOW! just kidding, I'd rather live lol. The last few days of high school is going to be really rough for me, but what hard work pays off. I'm proud of myself, I'm actually graduating on time without failing one class & having more credits than I need, when I fully doubted myself before.

I don't know if it's just me or what.. but I feel like right now there's a lot of tension between us. The way you talk to me is so different compared to the way you talked to me months ago. I feel like this is the only way I can vent this out, & don't get me wrong I'm doing this not because I'm hating but because I care, I still care, & always will. Ya, we don't fight every night, but I feel like you're getting bored of the same old me. Not showing interest in me hurts me, don't get me wrong but I seek for your interest too, I seek for every single thing. I don't know if I'm thinking right but I want attention from you, I don't wanna sound selfish but I am. Just because I learned how to depend on you when no one else is there but a friend or two. I'm not trying to fight with you, if that's what you think. I know you're gunn bring this up but just know that other than telling you, this is another way of me venting out. I know we promised certain things to each other that I personally think helped us to get to this point of our relationship. Some of those promises is to tell each other if feelings changed, hearts are hurt, feelings are hurt, etc. I have a lot of things going in my mind right now & I know you do too. But right now you are the center of my world and if I'm not yours please let me know. I won't get mad, all i ask for you is to be honest with me. Don't you think that after what we've been through I know you by now? I do, & I know when something is up or something is wrong. I just don't want to have the thought of losing you slowly because you didn't tell me early enough. I know that you like the reassurance that I give you in every possible best way that I can, but I would like some reassurance too. I'm sorry, but baby I'm selfish.

-
ANYWAYS .. awkward, ummmmm YA UP UP UP UP UP OMG.

Honestly, RUSSEL looks like Ray when he was a little kid. I wan't a stuffed RUSSEL :) I'm so getting one if they make one.. DISNEY STORE here i come :) ♥





-DEE

HAPPPPPY 4 MONTHS BABY! :)

We made it omgaah, so much frikking hardships we went through for the past four months honestly. But I'm glad, like what Klaudine says.. That we're not fighting, that we're actually starting to know how to put up with each other. Well you at least, I know I still have mood swings here & there, & I'm sorry, you know I don't mean them.. Last night I was praying to God that hopefully we will continue to put up with each other no matter what. I know that God will give both of us the strength & patience for this.. =] I LOVE YOU !

OMG, i can't believe exams are coming up soon. I'm stressing over my CPT's & stuff like honestly, especially Religion's CPT. Oh well I'm going to make it up I don't care lol. DRAG ME TO HELL, was so scary, holy I wanted to shit my pants. I still wanna see UP, since that little boy Russel looked like Ray when he was a little kid, LOL KLAUDINE the picture :P .. I DONT CARE, i'm watching it :)

Can't wait for the weeeeeekend :) yay

AAH, college stuff.. I gotta pay so much, I'm poor, I don't want my parents paying everything, blah blah blah.. So much responsibilities to accomplish yet so little time. Good thing is I'm seeing the boyfriend today, that's the only good thing in my life. Better than nothing. I still thank God that he's helping me through every step of the way. I also want the rain to GO AWAY, little RAY wants to play :) lol. Since I know my boyfriend misses basketball already but not me, lol kidding, i love you. And please print my OSAP application things! fuck my life :(. I just can't wait til next weekend, I need to get away from all the stress that's bugging me right now.

But whatever, I should be off to doing something productive like cleaning before I go see the boyfriend :).

- DEE

ew, omg i just realized it said BLOGPOT on the top which makes me look really dumb ahah. well i am sometimes :) but whatever. We had our grade 12 retreat today, thank God it didn't rain, Me & Jamila we're praying pretty hard aha. The guy from that guest band we had were awesome especially the drummer guy lol. I haven't gotten sick of their songs & their faces even though I've seen them during grade 9 retreat, when I was a leader for this year's grade 9's and my grade 12 retreat. We won all the games we played :). But ya after everything I was exhausted like a bitch. I asked my dad to pick me up from school cuz I really NEEDED a nap. The nap that I took was noiceee, until my mom had to come in my room to look for my blow-drier, honestly we have two & she loves using my stuff. Whatever I guess I owe her anyways from losing the 300$ bracelet that she gave me =( lol plus dropping her coach bracelet & broke it unfortunately, but whatever she gave the matching necklace back which made me a bit happy hah. No school tomorrow yay, finally spending time with my boyfriend after a few days of not seeing each other. Since I've been busy with school & stuff. I so can't wait to get my G2, & I so want a car for my 18th birthday. OMG, I really gotta start working on my cosmetology exam portfolio, I started on my introduction already well I made baby write it for me :) lol. & I'm also gunn make him do everything since he's way more artistic than I am. There's like a few days of school left & I'm excited to go to college. I CANT FUCKING WAIT :) ...

oh btw Klaudine if you're reading this, sorry ..
I'm too lazy to upload lol.. love you <3


-ds

thankful..

You've got to understand that it took me a lot of courage to make myself come to the realization that everything that I've ever wanted & needed is found within you. And for me to put everything aside again, everything that you once broke, is a remarkable task that took a lot of strength & faith in me. They say sometimes people put walls up, not because they want to block people out, but because they want to see who cares enough to knock them down. You know me like no one else does because I never was able to let anyone in, & you don't even know how glad & thankful I am that I gave you the chance. You stayed at our best, yet you stuck at it at our worse, & proved to me what truth in love still has. The sky is the limit & true love really is forever.

I wanted to find a guy that'll fight for me & what I believe in. Not fight my fights, but to fight for me & fight for my love. I wanted to find someone that knows when to hold me, when to comfort me, when to hold my hand. I wanted someone that'll love me for who I am, someone that won't change me or try to. Someone that knows me inside out, not someone who thinks they do. A guy that will listen to what I have to say & try to help me out. Who would stay awake with me all night, just to hear my voice. Who would know when to give me space & understand why. Someone who wouldn't leave me & love me forever. I wanted to find a guy that'll love me & we would be together forever.

..i found it in you
I Love You Always.

- DEE

LAUREN ELIZABETH GABARRO ROMANO

for some reason, when it comes to you I'm always emotional. I decided to dedicate this one to you, hopefully you'll like it :). I was looking at my previous pictures & there were tons of me & you. Those times we would mission down to Reymar's to wake him up. Member, 'loser & a half' & 'half a loser'? lol Chris Paul is too funny huh? NOT. The times we would skip first just for the fun of it & hide in the washroom so Mr. Flynn won't see you lol. Just the stupid moments we have & all the memories that we created. Remember those old boothies? You still have them lol. I wanna let you know that whatever happened to us, it was a joy ride. An exciting ride that brought us everywhere lol, even chilling with just the randoms. I will always keep all of those with me & treasure them. The 'FAUZLE' lol, even though it's rusty & shit, I still have it. I also wanna thank you for the times you had my back, & was ready to beat up the guy that made me cry. All the realtalks we would have. The times when your dad would drive crazy & I'll be at the backseat dying lol. Looking back, I don't regret anything. I know that you're happy with our situation now, cuz I know we're making a progress right? I really hope so, well at least in my eyes. Though sometimes it seems like you could care less or I could care less. I know deep down inside that we both know that we still do care bout each other, and always goin to be there for each other. I want you to know that you can always count on me when you have problems, whenever you need to talk. I'm not here, I'm there =] lol. With everything moving so fast, I get so emotional sometimes because I miss everything. & I don't care about the others that's reading this. All I wanna say to you is always keep your head high no matter what, you're a strong girl. I LOVE YOU !

"If you can look at the sunset and smile, then you still have hope. If you can see the good in other people, then you still have hope. If you meet new people with a trace of excitement and optimism, then you still have hope. If you give people the benefit of the doubt, then you still have hope. If the suffering in others still fills you with pain, then you still have hope. If you still watch love stories or want endings to be happy, then you still have hope. If you can look at the past and smile, then you still have hope. If, when faced with bad and told everything is futile, you can still look up at the end of the conversation and say "yeah, but..." then you still have so much hope. If you still offer your hand of friendship to those who have touched your life, then you still have hope. If you refuse to let a friendship die or accept that it must end, then you, very much, still have hope."

always,
dee.♥

Watched fireworks on Sunday :) all the way at Niagara, I know you might say crazy. But it was a nice place to go to. We also checked hotels and stuff, made me walk so far *cough cough*. I thought that the fireworks were amazing & was such a romantic place just to be with my boyfriend :). After the fireworks going nuts, we decided to go to midway to play some games. OMG we got like 500+ tickets damn, that game is too addicting lol. As in addicting that we finished all the cards that was in that machine slot. As usual choosing a prize for the tickets took long, since my boyfriend can't seem to make up his mind sometimes lol. The ride home was quiet & cold, I was mad tired and as usual fell asleep again..

Yesterday was quiet exciting, went to my grandparents house.. I DROVE THERE :) i'm so proud of my self because I drove from my house to Dufferin St... than back to my house again. Didn't get to spend time with baby since he went to the movies with his fam :)..

Today, I felt like the weekend wasn't long enough. Honestly, I just can't wait to finish. Watched a movie in Religion again as usual. Test in cosmo & lesson in Chem. Everything is just usuals lol. I had my driving lesson again today as well & I did a pretty good job :)... I miss my baby, I won't be able to see him till Thursday. Friday is such a downer as well since it's wondergrad, & I won't be able to see him til Saturday.

Should I work on sunday with ian? hmmmm.. we'll see

so the week was ummm so/so, though seriously whenever it rains tear falls. I thought April showers bring May flowers? I guess it's the opposite. But whatever, we're both making progress, *knock on wood* i don't wanna jinx anything. I know, that it's going to take a lot of hard work & a lot of sacrifices to make it work. Time will also tell if things are meant to be, but I know they are :) we both know they are.. I know that hurtful words has been said & hurtful things has been done, but what can we do.. it is what it is, we gotta forget bout the past & live for our future.

Anyways, Friday didn't go to school, & baby decided to come home early from work. He picked me up & went for lunch at Erin Mills, we went to Playdium after lol, I never really appreciated what Playdium could offer until Friday, when for the first time ever I played nuff games lol. Klaudine met up with us & all of us started playing every game possible lmao. It was fun until I had to go to work.. =( Baby came over after my work then just chilled at my house. Yesterday was fun, got to spend time with family for a bit because they were seeking attention from me lol, then also got to spend time with my boyfriend. Watched Angels & Demons after walking around Yorkdale. It was such a sick movie, the places they shot the movie at was awesome.

I should go to church soon, but people in my house are loafting. I wanna watch fireworks tonight or tomorrow.. But whatevesss .. iI'll blog more later..


ds

Friday was such a funny yet so tiring day lol, Me & baby rented a movie called Old School. Trying to scare my brother with it being a horror movie when it's really a comedy hah. My brother fell asleep so he went upstairs & Baby fell asleep on my lap as well, I also fell asleep for a bit, lol. but whatever. the night was fun :).

Saturday, went to wonderland with boyfriend and omg the stupid rain sucks !! It was literally on & off for the whole day. Took some boothies that turned out really cute i must say =]. But ya back to wonderland, omg i wanted to kill my boyfriend. Asshole, dragged me to every ride when he fully knows that i'm scared of heights. Like god damn Behemoth? no one can even drag me to rides like that lol. Wild Beast hurted my head really bad. Lol baby "IM A MAN" ahahaha & screaming on my ears asshole!! but overall it was so fun. Went to eat at an all you can eat Japanese restaurant near p-mall right after we watch the movie obsessed lol. Geez baby about the spider legs.! my ass

Sunday, I worked with kuya Ian, OMG I SERIOUSLY MADE 40 of those damn things. Mother's day.

Today, I got my new phoneee yay :) no more crap phone fina-fucking-ly, i miss the boyfriend dearly.. it's so gay that I won't even be able to see him on saturday, and won't be able to spend that much time with him on friday, but it's okay there's always monday :) angels & demons :) ..

no matter what you do to me, I'm still here. for some odd reason, i stick around and put up with all your mood swings and unkind words. i just let your comments roll off me into a puddle on the floor. i make up excuses on why you didn't call, try to think of all the answers. i keep going back for more even though sometimes you push me away. i don't know if i can do better ,but do i really want to? you're quick to push me down when all i want is to be brought up. when i walk out for good, when i really gain the strength i need then maybe you will see. maybe you can look back and say, "wow that girl really did love me."

& for the record.. i need you more than anything right now, i dont want to be that dependent on someone that will never come through for me. but without you im falling, and im scared that you will be the only one that can ever catch me, and im scared that you will never be there to do that.

dedicated to you ..

I haven't updated in awhile,I think ever since April 27th? not sure but yaa. This is hopefully gunn be a long, I also decided to dedicate this post to my one & only Ray Anthony. But before everything, I should update with the things I haven't updated in awhile.. I've been busy with school things, work things, & such things. Too much bills to pay, I also changed my phone & number, =] which pisses me off, cuz I wanna change my phone again. The situation with the best friend have been okay lately, things have been loosening up a bit & it makes me happy cuz it's a progress :). The weather lately is sooo frikking beautiful, I just can't wait to finish school. I've been skipping too much, either I'm exhausted from the night before, or lazy, or spending time with boyfriend, or sick. Right now I'm sick, but don't worry guys I don't have that swine flu thing. Lol. I've also been doing my driving lessons, and yeeee my instructor already booked my G2, on June 9th, EXCITEEEEEEED. Anyways I should really get into my dedication part huh? =] this might not makes sense since im out of it today but meeh, it's the thought that counts right?

First of all, Happy belated 3 months.. wow can you believe it? it's been three months & it feels like forever, not saying it's a bad thing, but it's a good thing when it comes to a realization of what we've been through, three months is long lol. I know people will probably say oh ya no that's only three months, it's nothing, but in this case, no one knows but me & you. I wanna recall all the memories I can recall from day one. Remember that night at Timmies, when we watched unborn? The night we both can't forget, knowing that we haven't seen each other for awhile felt really nice when all the awkwardness between us was replaced with laughter & joy huh? & member Lauren calling me, & she was drunk? aha. The talks we would have bout me & you being together after that. I didn't wanna give in just because I thought I was going to get hurt once again. You did all anything to win my heart, from singing to me until I fall asleep, meeting my parents, picking me up, listening to me while I cry from my problems with my mom or my best friend, help me out with my stressful life, etc. Soon enough I gave in, FEB 1 2009, perfect day, perfect time, perfect everything =]. I'd never forget that day, you picked me up from my house during breakfast aha, & that's when everything began. I know our first month was good, but we had our ups & downs as well. Remember Valentine's day? when we didn't know whether to stay here or go to Niagara, but we ended up going anyways =P. I thank you for that day because no one ever did something like that for me ever. You already know all the memories we've built after that. Going bowling is always fun with you :), then eating at the infamous Denny's afterward lol. Playing ball has also never been so much fun with anyone, cuz you actually play with me unlike the others that has no patience. Watching your games, & being proud of you makes me so happy :). When you would just chill with my brother, I find it so cute that even my parents wants him calling you kuya. I must say that all the things we have gone through makes me really proud of me & you. They say that the first months are the happiest, but in our case it's surely not lol. I have cried a whole lot of tears just to let this one go. I know that the past week has been really iffy for the both of us, but what happened? we got through it again. I'm so settled. I wanna let you know that I have, I do, & always will try my best to be patient with you & try to understand where you're coming from. I'm also sorry for the things I have said & done that jeopardized this relationship. I'm also asking for you to do the i think two things I asked from you. I know it takes time, & I am waiting. I know we're gunn get through all of this hand in hand. I just also ask for you not to do shady things like .. ill keep it to myself, but you know what i mean. Like what i said, i'm not up for games, so please be serious bout me as well. I love you. ♥

that like didn't make sense at all. (N) but i hope you liked it :)..


always,
dee

aaah, today i had to go to school just because i have to lol. I'm feeling so grumpy lately and sorry for the people that are affected, *coughcough* baby lol. They were even teasing me at school about being a gator because I was snapping, like gosh shut up :) it's okay I love y'all. My head phones broke for some reason but I'll fix them. I saw what Lauren did to herself because of the whole situation and seriously best imma cut off your nails soon. OMG, I screwed up on my Religion test today lmao, I literally left the whole thing blank. The teacher was making fun of me cuz of that, but whatever, at least I gave in the bonus part which was my notes and it was 15 points lol. Lunch was fun, we kept playing president and I kept losing, then I kept winning. Mine & Lauren's speed game was not very speedy lmao. Cosmo was fun, we had a presentation from the head professor & two students of Marca College. From what I saw Marca is such a good college for Hair & Esthetics, which makes me think of wanting to go there now, 8 gran for one year, it's pretty okay huh? well it's a private college. Chemistry test tomorrow, but class today is so funny, everyone started talking bout the website FML lmao it's too jokes because our teacher is like our friend & laughs with us. I literally wanted to pee, and everyone kept making me laugh. But whatever is clever.

I'm so excited to see baby tonight :) I miss him, & I just wanna have a chill afternoon/night-ish with him, since i've been being grumpy lately lol. 2 DAYS BABE :) <3 I can't wait. LOVE YOU LOTS!



- dee

Since I stayed home today I decided I was gunna change mine & baby's layout I needed a simple one cuz yaa. I'll prolly change mine again soon. Anyways I slept last night & woke up to an unbearable tummy ache. So I decided to stay home, I know I told myself I wasn't going to skip anymore but I can't possibly go to school like this especially it's a liturgy schedule. Me & him had such a good 'realtalk' this morning while on his way to work, about all the stuff we've been through, and our past relationships and stuff. It's so refreshing & it's such a great feeling knowing that I'm the first girl he's had a serious relationship with. I'm glad that he's taking this seriously like how I am taking it as well. I think that praying to God every night for this helped. It helped that it's amusing that no matter how stubborn we both are, no matter how opposite we are from each other, and no matter how hard the challenges that we face, we still both are here caring & holding on to each other. All in all everything is great :). Anyways I gotta get ready, it's so ugly outsideee gross & I have to drive in this kind of weather? sheeesh-ka-bob.

aaaah, today was um an okay day. What a 'SWIT' day once again except for the fact that i'm not on the schedule for work. WTH, I looked at the schedule & there was only 3 people on the stupid thing like.. But whatevs I gotta call my manager & see what's up. I decided to go to the doctors alone after checking my schedule just because I was being nice to my mom :) she was sick so I decided that she didn't need to come with me. I was there from the time baby left union station until he got there to pick me up. Like that was prolly like an hour.. holy chamoly.. But thanks baby for picking me up and coming with me to the doctor lol we'll keep whatever the doctor said a secret :). I have no choice but to drink medicine & follow what he said. "wow, you're in your work shoes with dress pants & north stars t-shirt?" LMFAO sorry I just had to make fun of you on that one ;) it's all love. At least I got to see baby today and I got to pinch him cuz of the silly things he did. Spent a little more time with him until he had to go to ball practice =( I was sad but at the same time it made me happy since I was bummy from my schedule at work. Was supposed to get our land pass today but no cuz I finished at the doctors around 7, which was very gay like my boyfriend lol.

Anyways, KLAUDINE ... SHE'S MURKED :) <3 lol

gotta do homework which is another bummer while waiting for boyfriend to finish ball practice.


- dee

WHAT A 'SWIT' DAY..

URGH, I worked yesterday & I woke up late this morning so imma go to school soon. At least I get to take a nap cuz I got work tonight again boo.. It's such a nice day out, frikking 22 degrees but apparently it's gunn rain in the afternoon. Work was okay, it's so chill, Kuya Ian, Greg, & Linda passed by making fun of me cuz I look so crap on my uniform lol. I'm scared to work alone next week cuz I really don't know my stuff yet but it takes time for me to get used to it. I literally fell asleep on the phone with Ray last night, sorry baby I was tired lol. But I was so hyper when I got home wasn't I? =P Too bad baby couldn't pick me up from work yesterday, I wanted to see him but it's kay cuz he's picking me up tonight =) & I'm excited to see him :). It's such a SWIT day outside right babe? LMFAOOO. sorry I told you I was gunna put it lmfao. Oh man Humber Test tmrw & I'm scared I really don't know my Bio things but whatever :) I get to spend time with my baby tomorrow :) perhaps Yorkdale? Downtown? whereever, as long as im with you =]. I'm so mad that you're done school & I still got few more months left. Now you can skip work & surprise me all the time ;) lol. Anyways I shall nap & continue this later..

- dee

P.S.
I MISSSSSS YOURE ASSHOLENESS BABE :)
it's all love. love youuuu!

if it comes back then that's how you know.

Yesterday was my first day of work :) I was scared at first but hey it was good. Pretty easy, so chilling & fun. I was kind of tired though because I didn't get my daily nap before going to work due to driving school. Speaking of which, that pissed me off too because I didn't even drive that much cuz I was writing down all the steps ahah, I really have to study all kinds of parking. Anyways, work was good except one thing, it burns my hands & it hurts. I should get used to it soon & memorize all the stuff. Big thanks to my baby for picking me up after being so tired with work. I got home and I literally just collapsed on my bed while on the phone with baby. I missed him. Good thing i saw him last night. But moving on, today, guess whattttt ? I got Red Violet peek-a-boos at cosmo class, thanks Amber :). Amber had the opportunity to touch my virgin hair aha. I think I want more highlights though cuz it doesn't really show that much .. hmmmm?

-

I'm SICK of this, SICK OF BEING SICK. You're constantly telling me that I don't love you, like you really know what's inside my head! It's annoying & not nice to know that my own boyfriend doesn't even trust or believe the love that I have for him. You're telling me you're done hurting? well I'M DONE HURTING TOO! I'm done with all the fussing & fighting everyday. My world & my life already revolves around you & that's not enough for you? What have I done to hurt you? Did I hurt you by not typing on this blog about you? or what I feel about you? Well guess what, you hurt me way more than that. You're constantly telling me I don't care when all I cared for is this relationship & how to make you happy. Always putting you above everyone else, that I even forgot about my own friends. You're always thinking at the back of your head that I'm doing shit behind your back when we both know I DON'T. & we both know that YOU DO. I told you to help me out, yet all you think about is your feelings. A relationship goes two way not only one. I know you're stubborn, but what have I done from day one? I dealt with it, all the imperfections, the non-sense fights, the cheating, the lying, the past, the faults. You told me it was gunn change & so far it hasn't improved. I gave you all that you wanted & more than you deserved, yet you still didn't open my eyes and tell your self that maybe I really do love you. Cuz trust me no good girl would put up with the kind of shit we've both been through. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I really tried my best with this. Don't come back to me until you find out what you're gunn do to make this relationship go two way. Don't come back to me until you open your eyes into knowing how much I cared about you. I just can't deal with immaturity anymore. As much as I care, sometimes it's alright to let things go, like what the song says, 'if you love something let it go, & if it come's back then that's how you know' ..




- dee.

F*CK MY LIFE.

Fuck my life sideways! Woke up to an ugly weather today which is really gross, doesn't help me, bad weather especially rain makes me sad for some reason. I HATE IT! Anyways not only the weather is a downer but school is also a downer, I had 3 unit tests today. Religion was such a loaft, seriously there was like 7 people in the class that showed up. I guess my teacher was right when he said "sometimes success is all about showing up", which is why I'm really pushing myself to go to school lol. Cosmo test was hard frikking 110 questions, like wow is she crazy? but whatevs. Chem killed me, I fucked up on my quiz, i got 7 out of 10, which is okay but I can do a lot better. I should really stop sleeping & start listening.Thank goodness my dad was home to pick me up from school cuz there's no way im walking under this ugly ass weather. Speaking of bad mood, my phone's gunn get cut off soon which sucks balls, but whatever I'll get my own :).

The weekend was so nice, spent Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, & Saturday with the boyfriend. Geez my friends really has to work out again, shame shame ! you guys lost to KIDS! lol. out of shape much? LOL it was fun when me, trixie, jed, & ero got bored & decided to drive ray's car, well ero did. No he didn't get mad lol he was cool with it surprisingly. It was so fun chilling with them, I miss them. I should really start chilling again since the weather is really nice nowadays except for today. Like what I said Enough of me hibernating right? Also i forgot to mention that Trixie & Ryan killed me & Laurence on ball, damn Trixie is good, Ryan depended on her lol. But too bad I was feeling sick so decided to go home early, few minutes after Athina came. Sorry wife =( lol. I'm slowly coming out of my shell :) .. The couples should do a date soon :) i'm so down lol. But anyways me & Ray watched Silence of The Lambs, pretty sick movie I thought it was gunn be scary but ya. AND AND AND you know were bored when... WE WATCH CONGO ON A FRIDAY NIGHT. LMFAO. losers much? whatevs, I hope I feel better soon so I can finally go out and enjoy.

OUUUU, i have work tmrw.. oh mhan, wish me luck. I know I'll do good. This is also one issue why I never went out that much no more, CUZ NO MONEY, HONEY. geez, and now that I'm gunn have money, Ill have to give my card to Ray or Athina because I can't spend anymore lol. Anyways off to my homework. CIAO!


P.S.
GOOD LUCK ON YOUR EXAM TMRW BABY!
you'll do good, two or three more
exams to go and what your done?
I HATE YOU! & I still have like
two and a half more months ..
FUCK MY LIFE.

PROMISE.

The few days have been tough, things were just worst as before. I trusted you with all of me. You promised me that you would never do that to me, I'll keep it to myself. I felt the most angry feeling I have ever felt in awhile when I saw what you were doing behind my back. You we're caught, I saw them with my own eyes. I'm not the type of person that believes what people tell me but once I see it for myself it's a different story. When you did all of those things, especially 'throwing our love away', I didn't know what I was going to do but say 'drive me home'. I just couldn't believe that the love of my life did such evil thing behind my back, I wanted to be alone, I never wanted to see your face again, didn't wanna hear anything to do with you. I'm not going to lie, you lost me for a second there, I guess I was letting my mind take over my heart. But after you cried so much, my heart actually took over my mind. Seeing you cry in front of me, hearing the words that came out of your mouth, all the apologies, & the things you did to actually have things back to normal. I appreciate all of those because for once I'm not the one giving in & trying to do make our relationship work, it was you. I really felt cared & loved. Now it's back to normal but remember along the way, you still have to prove to me that you are MAN ENOUGH & MATURE ENOUGH to actually commit to this & not fool around with my feelings. I'm kindly asking you that if time comes & you don't want this anymore, you don't have to stick around, just please tell me & PLEASE don't ever do what you did, they're just really unacceptable. I love you too much to let it go just like that.
-
What beautiful weather yesterday and today. I can finally feel the sun omg time for me to come out of my shell & stop hibernating. I have hibernated enough lol. The downer is... IM SICK =( but whatevs. I just spent the day with boyfriend yesterday, thursday, & wednesday lol. played ball as usual. Chilled at my house last night. Baby if my brother wins & scored 6 points you better do the deal you make lol or he'll bug you forever.

LOL boyfriend's blog (http://1-con.blogspot.com/) made me laugh like there's no tomorrow. You're too harsh babe, I told you not to be that mean to her. But it's okay at least you didn't expose her about the things you told me. Anyways moving on.. YAY I got a job :), finally. I've been unemployed since January, time for me to frikking get money. I'm still disappointed at the fact that I quit my last job, like seriously how dumb can I get? But it's whatever, thanks kuya ian for getting me the job :). That dude made me wait for like 2 hours, like sh*t. But whatevs I got the job anyways =]. Yesterday was a pretty sick day-off from school. After my job interview, baby picked me up well waited for me, since he took half the day off from work lol. Went to my house to finish folding the clothes I was supposed to do before I left, see I'm being a good girl lol. I guess we also went to my house to pick up my brother's ball, since Ray's outdoor ball sucks ass lol. Went to Gonzaga and we saw JOEY, our new found friend. He's such a cutie, him & my boyfriend even played one-on-one for some McDonald's. "You better buy me my McDonald's next time I see you" lol, baby you're such a bully. Too bad he was a cheater aha. Got bored at Gonzaga & went off to Marcellinus, played some street ball, well I watched he played lol. Anyways I checked the PHYBA rankings, and they're not the only team that played 6 times omg baby, you're so blind put on some glasses lol. I had driving school today shit my life, I just can't wait to finish, I wanna start driving. Baby you gotta teach me how to do my 3-point turn & my parallel please & thanks =].
I'm so looking forward to this whole week, I can feel the sun. & I have the biggest feeling that this summer I'm going to be dark! I'm scared lol. Whoever has a Wonderland Season Pass from last year, please let me know if you guys wanna renew it this year Me & Ray needs 2 more people. THAAAAAAAANKS. Okay, this is like non-sense now like always. whatevssss, done done done.

Btw, people has to stop fucking spraying in the hallways. I seriously hate where my locker is located well all of our lockers are located. I loved my locked in Grade 10 & 11. I hate going there knowing some stinky person sprayed his/her fucking perfume that makes everyone gag, cough, sneeze, & complain. Geeeez, I was literally coughing my lungs out, & this is like the third time this happened. So whoever you are, please spray your shit when there's no one affected thanks.


Baby & Joey playing one-on-one

Thursday: stayed home once again..geez I really gotta stop being lazy, & I will. Ray came over to pick me up & go back around to my house to change his pants ahaha too jokes, watched What Happened in Vegas & Identity. That identity movie creeped the living heck out of me. But we were seriously turning around all the time that day, literally.

Friday: Church was so long holy I almost fell asleep, or did i? =P. I seriously thought it was going to finish round 3, but no.. It finished at around 5. Me & boyfriend went to the movies to watch Observe & Report, I still think that I Love You Man is better. That movie was just corny but it's okay it still made me laugh aha =P. Lol baby you want some SWISS CHALET? seriously, Swiss Chalet hates us. It was only 10 & they're already closed, so being a grumpy old man when he's hungry, we ended up at Denny's again lol, it's okay we love Denny's anyways. Saw Gloria, Ashley, & Ralph when we were about to eat. I also just realized that day that I could scream really loud, & so can he. Wow, we're too stubborn. It's all good in the hood.

Saturday: Decided to go Downtown with who else? my boyfriend lol. Went shopping, I must say that the new Nautica Oceans perfume smells like heaven aha. But don't get it, I don't want you guys smelling like my boyfriend, kidding. Finally ate some Swiss Chalet that he wanted since the night before aha. Chinese Swiss Chalet =P .. " did i just get a whole chicken? " ahaha. But before all that happened I almost forgot we finally cleaned his car. Geez man that car needed it real bad. But still didn't finish cleaning the inside part which we HAVE TO DO soon right? lol. That also brought back memories from summer 08 damn. Exact same car wash place lol. Then went to get some ice cleam at baskin robins. Geez babe you're seriously getting me fat. After downtown, went back to Sauga to play some ball at Gonzaga, that brought back memories as well. It was sooo cold. " yo, look at his calves " ; " *burp* omg popeyes right there " .. omg too funny =P.



Today: Church was so early, woke up because I had to. Went to the park. Came home, boyfriend came over & bonded with the family : ) while I fell asleep lol. Baby you still owe me chocolates! Thanks for coming to see me today btw you're the best =]. You got my parents in a good mood cuz of that thing you brought for them, iono how to spell it lol. I literally laughed at my mom when she said "how come ray kisses me when he comes here or leaves, & you guys don't" geez. It's love. I bet my brother is still celebrating that he beat you on NBA Live, booooring. You know what else is boring? BASEBALL. Im such a noob when it comes to sports. fuck me



-

On the other hand, who ever said that THIS doesn't phase me? Obviously it does because it involves me & other things. Don't worry I know bout the Blue Mountain thing, because before he bugged you, he bugged me first. Like what I said, when I push him away he makes you a rebound. You know why? because you're letting him. We both know guys get brainwashed easily, so all the things you told him about what I have done in the past affects him, why you say? because he cares about me. You really think that if he likes you or wants to be with you like what you're trying to say, he's still going to be by my side right now? Maybe you should actually just tell me all the things that he's 'hiding' because I am curious. You told him to stay with me, yet you're admitting that you still have feelings for him. I just don't get, is this the way of you getting revenge from me because of the past? Well I guess the things you told him about me didn't have any effect because it came from him that you don't matter to him. Yes maybe time will tell, but so far it's been great being with him. You're telling me I'm mindfucking him? He's not stupid to not know if i am mindfucking him or not. & If I am like what you say, we seriously wouldn't be together by now. He turned his back on you over some gee? That proves one more thing, that he really doesn't wanna be with you so i really don't know why you're telling me that he's not serious about me. As much as you know him, I know him well enough to tell you that he doesn't tolerate bullshit, he gets what he wants, & he's not stupid. So if I am fooling him, why would he see me almost everyday of the week? why would he meet my whole family? why would he bond with my family? why would he bring me to his games? go to dinner with me & my family? you really think that if he doesn't care about me or if he thinks im bullshitting him, he would do those things? I don't think so. It seems like you have a lot to say about how I am getting fooled by him & him not being serious about me, when you finally think that it's the right time to talk bout it let me know cuz I will be waiting. & I hope they're no bullshit.

Woman to Woman

WOMAN TO WOMAN

- Thea Monyee



I’m actually glad that you were bold and brave enough to call my house
So, that we can discuss this woman to woman and try to work some of these things out
So, we can compare notes on some dates and times, and try to figure out some of his tired ass lies
I’m actually glad to be hearing from the lips that left the lip sticks on my man’s colla
Even though he told me he was working late, just tryna earn a couple extra dollas
And I loved and I trusted him, so his bullshit I would swallow
Even though my intuition would never let me sleep
So, I guess the gap in our relationship was where you thought you would fit in ?
Just an insecure woman chasing after a man who’s already got a woman
But your pussy is not deep enough for a real man to fall in love with,
And this we already know because see your skirt is so short that it already shows your best assets
So, there’s no point in wasting time tryna figure out what you’re thinking after all
He is not fucking you for your mind
And you’re still young at heart, so you think this is real cute
Telling your friends girl, he’s cheating on me because he really wants you
And the reality is we are nothing alike
When he can’t deal with all of me, he goes to you to get me off of his mind, but it never works
See, he gets real still as he lies between the sheets that he sees
And now he’s tuning you out because he’s picturing me
Because you put up with that shit that I just won’t deal with
Because I’m strong in who I am
And he loves that, he loves that about me
It’s just that sometimes he can’t stand the reality that he doesn’t deserve a woman like me
And when he feels that way, well hell…
That’s when he comes crawling to your dirty shit
And just like a child, you thought you would call me to share
Calling me to disclose with me the colour of my man’s underwear
And you tell me like I don’t already know
Hell, I bought ‘em
Tryna tell me about how my man fucks, bitch I taught him
So, why don’t you do me a favour
And when he comes over tonight, and he’s coming and you’re coming…
And you’re both coming at last,
Just simply lean back his head and look him deep in his eyes,
And you’ll see me, waving back at your ass .




-
some deeeeeeeeep shit, kudos to Athina for this =)

wow, i haven't updated in quite awhile now. Well the past days have been rough & tough, but like everything else I'm getting through with my life, with the people that are most important in it. Me & Ray had our first double date with Athina & James, that was fun. Fast & The Furious was a good movie, though some people were saying that Tokyo Drift was better, well I still think this one is good, they're all good. Ive been slacking in school really bad, I gotta pick it up & start going to school. & I will. Today was a really scary day for me, but God answered my prayers, I'll keep that to myself. I really love how girls think they know me & talk shit to my boyfriend about me, saying what I did with my ex-boyfriend. It's just funny, because you don't know shit, you don't know me, I'm really glad that you took the time to even think of what to tell my boyfriend. Too bad girl, he doesn't like you, so telling him "oh ray i'd never do that to you" just makes you look like a slut. So keep talking, I'll listen. Let's see what else you're going to come up with. HAHA.

Anyways, I really miss my ugly. Thank God I'm seeing him tomorrow. I really need him, a hug from him & not letting go. This week is tough for us, but we got through it. I LOVE YOU.

"I've got my future planned,
& I swear you're in it.. I LOVE YOU"

- ray valdivia


♥
DEE.

EGGGGIES.

APRIL 2,2009

First off HAPPY 13 MONTHS BEST, we got enough behind us & more ahead of us =] I LOVE YOU & I got you ALWAYS! Yesterday was such a nice day out 14 degrees, went to Jack Darling with almost everyone. I missed them a lot a lot a lot. Thanks JAMES RYAN & LAURENCE for making us 'BASSS' our way there lol. It's kay we were with Ryan, Linda, Jeff, Erick & Andrew. Me, Klaudine & Athina did such a long ass mission & a half. Got there and it was MAD COLD. which I think led to the fact that I feel sick right now. Omg did I ever tell you guys that those Cadbury EGGIES thingys were so addicting? well now you know =P. We took nuff pictures, it was so beautiful there. It's so hard to climb a frikkin tree seriously, so baby if you're reading this I just proved to you that I ain't no monkey =P. Boyfriend picked me, Athina, & Klaudine up around 6:30 after getting his haircut, we drove along Mississauga Rd. talking bout people getting murdered there & stuff, which scares Athina. Im not gunn lie Im scared too lol. But anyways boyfriend drove us to 'MIDGET LAND' lol. Athina & Klaudine we're so amazed ahaha. I could see myself in them when I first saw that place. After dropping the two at terms me & baby went to Sauga Secondary to shoot around, holy their courts there are tall =/. Surprisingly I got some in : ). Thanks baby for picking getting me from that cold ass place =]

APRIL 1, 2009

HAPPY 2ND MONTH BABY, the past few month/s have been really great with you. We have so many ups & downs, yet we still get through them no matter what. The things you've made me realize, made me learn, & made me experience are such great accomplishment so far. I never get sick of spending time with you. Sorry for the hardships & stubbornness I give you sometimes, the words that come out of my mouth when we argue are non-intentional & I'm sorry. I know there are a lot of more great things ahead of us .Like what I always say, I look forward to them, & I'm excited =]. I've never had this with anyone before, now I can say I'm settled & I won't give up on you, on us, & this. Sometimes it might seem that I don't care but I really care for you the most. I Love You, & thank you for everything ugly ;) .

Today was my first day back in school, geez I never felt so lazy in my life in such a long time lol. All my teachers was asking me where I have been and stuff, well I've been home :). Geez, Mr. Reyes woke me up during Religion class aha, as in he actually bumped on my desk with his chair intentionally. Cosmo class was fun, I gave Maryse a haircut today, I also put hot rollers on her hair. Speaking of that I still have to do all my client day reports, fml. I think Imma be doing Maryse's hair tomorrow again, conditioning treatment perhaps? Chem was sucky, tell me why we have to make cookies for thursday, like miss people are busy. Speaking of Thursday, no school yay =], Jack Darling with the darlings? I miss my friends, I actually haven't chilled with them for awhile. I miss laughing about stupid things and just being around them 24/7 not saying I don't like the way things are going for me right now because I do. I love it. Things change, I just miss the old days, when everyone was still youngins aha. Friday is Best friend's & Gerikka's birthday jam :), i haven't jammed with them for awhile as well wow, I'm like down low forever & ever & ever like what Kuya Ian said lol. I don't know how to get there so I guess Im gunna reach with Lauren since she needs help with the jam i think?. But ya omg it's mine & boyfriend's 2 months tomorrow, that's what imma be doing tomorrow, writing a big ass post :) hopefully I can achieve it. Something is wrong though, something different. He's not in the mood? Having a bad day? I don't know. Is it just me or is it wrong that Im always On MSN, even if im not talking to anyone? I don't know correct me if I'm wrong but last time I checked no one said I wasn't allowed to be ON, or wasn't allowed to change my display pic. But whatever, I know your tired or something's wrong that you don't wanna tell me. So I'll drop it cuz I don't wanna have an argument again.. You might say I don't care but what is left for me to do when you think all my actions are wrong? I have nothing.. since I can't seem to change your mind towards things. One question, aren't the things I do for you enough? Am I not enough? Cuz to me you're more than enough, way more than enough. Let's face it.. I just want your jealousy to calm down...

Love is patient, love is kind.
It is not

jealous

, it is not boastful,
it is not proud. It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking, it is

not easily angered

,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always

trusts

,
always hopes, always perseveres.
- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

♥

dee

Friday was such a nice day out, was supposed to run ball with the boyfriend but nooo cuz I had to wait for my school to call and it called round like 6:45 lol. Parents & brother was asking me & Ray to go eat dinner with them, but no cuz of stuff. Had some 'peace' in the house when loud people left *cough*. Haunting at Connecticut (however you spell it) is some next scary ugly whack movie. The freaking theater was packed with bitches that wanted to fight each other f'real lol, people have to calm down sometimes, & others should shut their mouth sometimes as well, so everybody gets along. Went all the way to Brampton to eat Denny's but I don't know how we got there cuz I was sleeping, like always. Had some talk with the boyfriend about the 'past' and stuff, made me kinda glad cuz at least we're both honest bout it not hiding anything. Saturday, thought I wasn't going to see the boyfriend due to the fact that he went to Buffalo with his fam, I decided to go to youth, I miss it.. I miss everyone. From 80 to frikking 35, big number was taken away from it, but hey we're moving along better than before. No arguing, no backstabbing, no nothing.. Everything is bout God. Thanks to Kuya Matthew for guiding us to get back up on our feet even with a small amount of number. I also learned the meaning of ACTS when praying, Adoration - Confession - Thanksgiving - Supplication: basically Adoration meaning, adoring God, praising him. Confession is self explanatory. Thanksgiving is thanking God for what we have, etc. & Supplication is asking God for our needs. A prayer also has to end in the name of Jesus, or in Christ. Bur anyways enough of my preaching, ugly came over round 10 after youth & we just chilled, watched Role Model, pretty funny but a corny movie. Sunday, church finally, after 2836587 Sundays of missing it, Kuya Nico picked me up since no one can come with me, thanks kuya. Boyfriend came over after church, lol to finish his unfinished game with my brother. I can't believe he actually beat my brother twice ahah. Today I intentionally didn't go to school because of the ABA show, decided not to go since ive been going for the past years. Boyfriend surprised me again, surprisingly he didn't need to go to work so we just chilled for the whole day :). I also had my first in-car training for driving school and it was um scary at first but at least I got the good teacher VINNAY, he's funny, he made my in-class live, unlike those other guys. Anyways he made me do all the hard stuff I can't wait til my next one. :)
oh gosh second month coming soon : ) yayayayay, and it falls on the day of APRIL FOOLS. So um if you're reading this ugly, you better not be fooling me or else ill kill you lol. love you :)

anyways ill update more later? maybe. just maybe =P

♥

dee

PLAID.

civies day today. Watched Few Good Men during Religion, seriously that was the first movie that didn't make me fall asleep in Religion lol. Lunch was pretty sick, went out for oyakodon however you spell it & took nuff pictures with my poser friends lol but i love them to death :) . Ill probably post some up next post? or add some up later on here. But ya what's up with the farmer's sweater / plaid shirts today? oh & the color blue..Third & fourth period cosmo was pretty chill, just marked & we got a chill supply. Hopefully Jessica won the skills competition, & so did Cate hopefully. These girls are really awesome when it comes to hair seriously. Fifth chemistry was pretty boring, it feels like I'm doing math class again except without James bugging me & more boring & Math class was more live & chill than chem. Went to sq. with Klaudine after school, I'm her lucky charm :) lol KIKOman, i swear to god Klaudine that's a soy sauce :P, 'NOSEBLEED' my ass. Waited for Kuya Ian to get off work, chilled, & ate. Thanks kuya for the food :). Saw Jhen, Dawn, Ryan & Kuya Rey after like 29864287432 years lol, I miss these people. Thinking back to the old times when everyone was always together even if there wasn't anything to do. Anyways ew there's so much pedophiles/perverts in the world nowadays. Saw the boyfriends afterward & went to the Marcellinus court to shoot some hoops, I was so happy I saw the boyprreennd, it feels like forever, i missed him =] I got to bite him on the cheek aha. I still owe you like 364753847 BITES baby, you swore nuff times. You're such a teaser killed me in ball but hey i killed you in 21 =]. But that was such a workout never felt this tired in awhile, since that day me & boyfriend went to the Y to work-out which to think bout it was a looooong time ago lol. Taking a shower felt so nice lol. anyways seeing boyfriend again tomorrow yay :) but im still bummed bout the fact that im not seeing him on saturday/ ( N ) instead im going to driving school. GAAAY lol. I really gotta stop loafting & start working on my life. anyways that's it for now.

♥

dee

If a guy treats you like he doesn't give a shit, it's because he doesn't give a shit.
-He's Just Not That Into You

kayso, i still wanna watch he's just not that into you *coughcough*. LOL I learned the most random thing ever from the best friend, that i grow while i hiccup. & for someone else that reads this you know who you are, I'll do your blog when I feel like it :) lol, it tooook me long enough to do your previous one mr cheeseball over thurr. I should be doing homework right now so umm =( beeeerrr gay. I shall after I finish this. I can't wait til Friday :). Tmrw is civies which means stresssss, lol don't know what to wear. So today my mom booked my Humber assessment test for April 18th, omg i'm scared. I can already feel a lot of stress coming soooooon. All the grad thing, grades, fees, blahs blahs blahs. At least I'm happy & content with what I got right now. I know all this hard work is gunn get me somewhere. homework time ....
reminder: don't swear / if you do SLAP YOUR MOUTH :)
it's all love.

♥

dee.

ever since i was young, i never
understood anything about the world.
and anything that happened in my life,
the only thing that ever made sense
was you, and how i felt about you.
thats all ive ever known, and thats enough;
that's enough for the rest of my life.
-- Boy Meets World.


new layout :)

March 19: Saw everyone at Square, I knew it was gun be such a loaft but it's okay, spent the time with the loves. Kuya Ian made me some nice crepes which I'm craving right now lol. So much for job hunting wow, whatever I'll do it on Thursday, this time no loaft lol. Me & Ray had a talk and it was probably by far the most tears I've cried in awhile, but we resolved it like always, no need to get into details. Got dropped off home by Ray, thanks baby for skipping your gym time =]

March 20: Happy Birthday Dadddddydukes & Kuya Lawrence Teves. Sorry Kuya I couldn't make it to your party, I had to stay home for daddydukes's birthday. Anyways boyfriend came over and supposed to stay home and just chill, but mommadukes decided she didn't wanna cook so we just went out for dinner along with baby, lol wasn't that awkward anymore, my family & my boyfriend are starting to get comfortable with each other which is really good : ). Went back home after dinner & watched Rush Hour 2, LMAO such a funny movie, & watched Monsters Inc. after, geeeez BOO is so adorable. Baby you're the big blue monster lol, i forgot his name :P

March 21: Got woken up early from staying up late the night before. Parents wanted to go to the grandparents base cuz Uncle from Calgary & cousins were over. Haven't done that in awhile so I wanted to go anyways, was supposed to go out with Ray after so he decided to pick me up all the way to Dufferin, thanks baby :). My family loved the cake, especially my dad lol. Went all the way back to my house to get ready cuz I looked a mess while big baby was sleeping on my bed lol. Went to the park & ran lmao it was freezing, discovered some place where there's enough basketball nets. Lol baby let's go camping there. eheh. Watched I Love You Man in big ass theatre, soo funny lol you guys should go watch it. Went to go see Athina at Maci-Maci lol that whore :P no comment, I love her. Was gunn have dinner with her but too awkward & things can't expose lol. Went to rent Child's Play 2 instead & went back to my place and watch. I love just relaxing & cuddling with you baby, even if we don't do things & go to places it's good : ), being laid back is good sometimes =]

March 22: Last day of march break (N), went shopping at Vaughan Mills, went to Sq afterwards to exchange something, then went home to talk to boyfriend.. such a downer we didn't even get to do half the March-break list me & everyone made, oh well summmmmer time soon =]

Today: SCHOOOOOL - downer suckie annoying boring slow effed etc.
lol baby 'bring it on knee-grow' watch me bitch ! lol. On the other hand I feel really bad that I can't go with Klaudine tomorrow to her assessment test at Ryerson, I thought it was next tuesday =( lol. Sorrrrry din, I LOVEEEE YOU : ) I'll make it up to you on thursday ;) .. ouuuu I was talking to Kuya Rey today and wow i havent talked to him in such a long time, I guess some people just move on & just mature from a phase where its all immaturity. I still remember when I would chill with him almost everyday, now he doesn't have time for his bunso & everyone else anymore. But it's okay i understand him. At least hes happy with his stuff now. But kuya, we all miss you, especially me & Lauren.


-
I'm really sad that I'm not seeing my boyfriend this Saturday, i guess ill do my driving school lol, i know you're reading this don't even say 'ya you always say that baby' .. psssh bitch please =]. lol. Uh i guess i'll leave it here, & I should wait for John & Kate +8 season finale. That show is too adicting.


-Dee

TODAY
- chilling with lauren :) fina'frikkin'ly, missioning to b-town to pick her up

- job hunting

- perhaps movie? he's just not that into you

- see everyone? i misssssss everyone wtf.

- etc.



+ i hate the fact that you don't give a tiny bit of trust to your own girlfriend. Everytime we fight, it's because of your issue. What do you want me to say when we fight? obviously ill defend myself, when you're accusing me of shit that you used to do. You should know me by now ... whatevsssssssssssss.

What's up duck? ew im awake so early, it's only 11:55, supposed to go to the doctors with my brother but no cuz my mom left his health card so she had to go home early and bring him instead. I hate having my period, my attitude turns around like there's no tomorrow. I become such a bitch towards everyone, my body hurts, headaches, etc. So to whoever I bitch at, I'm sorry especially to the boyfriend. Since you're the only one around me all the time I tend to bitch at you the most, you don't quite get the fact that you just have to let me be for a bit & give me the benefit of the doubt just yet.. but you're getting at it, & I appreciate it. UGH I seriously think I have a bladder infection, I told my mom about what I'm feeling and she being a nurse even told me that it is an infection. Ive been drinking cranberry juice since forever that its starting to gross me out. Anyways I really don't feel like doing anything today just because I'm not in the mood. Friday is papadukes's birthday and iono what to get him, it's also kuya Lawrence's birthday. The boyfriend doesn't wanna go with me even just for a bit like seriously baby would it kill you to come with me for a bit?But whatever I won't even make it big. I just realized we haven't had a big argument for more than a week now, it's a record lol. I really hope we keep it up. I realized its all bout giving in, trusting, and just being happy together no matter what. But I don't wanna jinx it cuz what he have going is the best. Anyways I feeeeel so hungry so I shall eat after this. ill update more later i guess?

NTS: make eduardo print resume.


-drs

FML.

*first picture with short hair =(

*boyfriend crossing some guy

*brother & boyfriend bonding lol.


Fuck my life, it's a very nice day today & what am I doing? NOTHING, as usual staying home and doing nothing productive. But I decided that after I update I will do something lol. Yesterday was a good day, Ray surprised me by calling me early in the morning & saying he's coming over it really made me smile & happy because I got to spend Friday, Saturday, & Monday with him. Fell asleep again since it was too early when he came over. Cooked some breakfast & played PS3 again. I really enjoyed watching them get scared over Resident Evil 5, like it's a video game only fags gets scared of that lol. My brother was literally wrapped in a blanket & my boyfriend just being scared ahaha. I seriously fell asleep while watching their boring ass game =P. After getting ready we decided to hit the park, went to the ball court at Marcellinus to run ball as you can see from the pictures above. My brother blocked some fatass old man LMAO it was so jokes aha. & my boyfriend was just loving his Chris Paul passes. hhhmmm lol. Anyways went home afterward and watched some more basketball, I seriously hate basketball & wrestling. I feel like such a man watching those things with them lol. Anyways so I had a talk with my long time friend Jeric, holy I haven't talked to that man in such a long time he was telling me how he's gunn leave for 3 months during the summer to train for the army again, & he's deciding if he wants to go to the war next year. He's so brave geez, I still remember when I overheard his sister say 'kuya whenever you're away with the army, I get so scared because I don't know what you do there & I'm worried for you'.. it really melted my heart hearing that from a 6 year old. I'm proud of him with all his hard-work. On the other hand, everyone has problems these days including myself, wow. I really hope & pray that things between the bestfriend & her family will be good asap, cuz i hate seeing her sad & depressed. I'm also still having problems at the fact that I still don't have a job, like what the hell. Im going job hunting with Eduardo soon & I hope things go well lol. I really hate depending everything on my boyfriend cuz I never really done that before, all my ex's were used to depending on me, not trying to feel nice bout it but it was just always like that. I always feel bad, baby, maybe we should stay home more often so no more spending money lol. I admit my faults, but you know what when I get a job I'll spoil you to death :P, i love you. I just really hate depending on my boyfriends & parents money, I feel like I can support myself & stop loafting on this. I'm also still mad at the fact that I havent been in church in forever, I really should go next week. But whatevsss I'm done with this ..


& OMGAAH, I hate the new facebook.


-dee

Uh havent updated for like 2 days now, I'm bored & got nothing better to do so why not update. Hmm Friday was cute, me & my little brother stayed home just because we're too lazy. Ugly came over early, I was still literally sleeping on my bed when he came over. Slept on his arms for awhile and had some 'PEACE' lol. Decided to wake up and make breakfast, well he mad breakfast cuz I can't really cook lol, thanks for that baby. My brother enjoyed that food aha cuz not often someone does that. After breakfast & things, them being boys again started playing PS3, for like the whole day while I was getting ready. Waited for mom to come home, ate pizza, & left my house. Like always, nothing better to do on a Friday night than a movie, we watched Last House On The Left, pretty interesting movie I must say, better than frikking WATCHMEN. Baby felt for soup afterward so we decided to go eat some pho before calling it a night. Saturday, slept in big time so I could get energy for the night. Too bad Jack Darling was flop with the friends it could've been nice to just chill at the park on a lovely day. I decided that I was just gunn stay home and get ready & miss my brothers game, baby came over until we found out what to do lol. Decided to go watch Mall Cop at the Drive-in at Oakville, new experience always fun =] except for the part where his car that was recently cleaned was all muddy, well at least the tires, poor car. But still thank you for cleaning your car especially the inside of it =], now its not dusty anymore & you wont hear me nagging you to clean it anymore =] lol. Anyways Mall Cop was pretty funny. So we decided to go bowling after OMG & here's the part where I have to boost, I BEAT HIM! what what, I never been this good in bowling lol. Then after one game he beat me all the way lol that perv! But whatever at least I'm getting better at it. So I was tired from bowling, this fag decided to go to Markham to eat at some restaurant called Destiny, I decided to nap on our way there, we got there and all i hear was 'DAMN IT, ITS ON RENOVATION' fuck your life lol, he looked like a grumpy old man complaining about how hungry he was but it was cute. Decided to go back to Sauga to eat at Denny's. I really love spending time with you :). OMG I really wanna see my wiifey's hair, she's finally not barbie doll anymore lol. anyways ill update more later ..


P.S.
BABY YOU'RE TOO QUICK
if you catch my drift.
aha.

that's when i love you ..

When you have to look away
When you don't have much to say
That's when I love you
I love you, just that way

To hear you stumble when you speak
Or see you walk with two left feet
That's when I love you
I love you, endlessly

And when your mad cuz you lost a game
Forget Im waiting in the rain
Baby i love you,
I love you anyway

Here's my promise made tonight
You can count "on" me for life
That's when I love you
When nothing you do can change my mind
The more I learn, The more I love
The more my heart cant get enough

I love you no matter what
So when you turn to hide your eyes
Cause the movie it made you cry
That's when I love you
I love you a little more each time
And when you cant quite match your clothes
Or when you laugh at your own jokes

And when you forget that we had a date
Or when I look at you cute when you show up late
Baby I love you, I love you anyway..

morality.

Religion was still boring as usual but at the same time quite interesting, we haven't had a discussion in awhile, but ughh I really have to get a hang of not falling asleep in class when the teacher talks I was literally the only one that was sleeping in class today lol. We talked bout the 6 Steps of moral development;

Reward & Punishment: This is a part when people do what's right & wrong, it might be called criminal mentality by some. It's like having the mentality of 'i can get away with it, it's alright' kind of thing. For example; It's okay to have sex as long as I don't get pregnant - or as for guys don't think that they will get caught or responsible for fathering someone's child, It's okay to cheat as long as you don't get caught.
Me First: A selfish basis of moral decision making. Put it in a way for example, It's okay for them to break someone's heart as long as theirs is not broken. It's kind of the reverse of the GOLDEN RULE huh?
Pleasing Others: This is sort of like doing the right or wrong things that somebody else approves of. Put it in a peer pressure category. One example is when a person wants to be like by everybody, he/she will do anything to please them.

The next three steps we're gunn talk bout tomorrow. That topic made me really think of the REAL thing, what's real & what's not. Or even what's really right & wrong. But whatever sooner or later my mind will be clear of all these things, perhaps when I go out in the REAL world. Anyways I'm really sad that Klaudine won't be able to come to Sandbanks with us, speaking of that I gotta remind James of that lol. & I'm really happy that bestfriend finally got a blogspot, I hope it really helps her with the venting issue. OMG OMG OMG I got my immunization shots today, holy why am I so terrified of needles someone please tell me. While at the clinic my mom, brother, & I were having a conversation bout who else RAY. LOL, I mean I'm glad that they love my boyfriend, but hey don't get in our business, & I know that my dad is just looking out for me but like what you asked me before if you could trust him, YES YOU CAN. Watch guys we'll prove you guys wrong. Anyways YAY tomorrow is Thursday that means LAST DAY OF SCHOOL, since I'm not going on friday & mother doesn't have a say lol. YAY seeing my boyfriend, & WE'RE CLEANING HIS CAR! & i know you're reading this baby, yup that's right we are cleaning you're car OKAY?DEAL lol. If we clean it you can get your KILLZONE 2 & RESIDENT EVIL OR WII .. DEAL? lol. Anyways can't wait till the weekend, i really mister 'SAYS' over there =P. I made a memory box today : ) ITS AWEEESOME!


SHIT MAN I NEED A JOB. baby my resume please ! & THANK YOU : ) i owe you
but actually no I don't cuz you're finishing school by april, which means URGH id still have 2 or 3 months left? urghhh.

btw HAPPY 8 MONTH to my wiifey Athina & my kuya James !
I love you both !!

- dee

So updates, he finally called.. Mommy's boy is with his mommy at the grocery store lol. But anyways I wanna dedicate this update to Klaudine my love lol. You know you likes whats happening.. No more shyness between you know who & you . AHA, I love how I like teasing you in front of you know who, and you know who doesn't have a clue about it ahaha .. And bout 'TREEPAL' date ahaha ;) yknow yknow, james&athina ray&me you&youknowho. AHAH, pleasse don't kill me or do that thing that annoys me .. ITS REALLY ANNOYING. it's the kind of thing like when you scratch your nails on the board aha.. I LOVE YOU = ]

anyways I was talking to my long time girl Kristina or as I call her Kissa, I miss that girl, I remember the old times when we would chill every frikking day she would always come down from brampton, ROYALFAM. lol, speaking of that where's everyone nowadays? & congrats to our girl Grishka for having her baby like two days ago., I also remember she would always sleep over at my house lol and she always twitches at night LMAO i find it so funny. & COLLINGWOOD, when we would sneak cigarettes and shit lol eheh goodtimes.. & Hopefully our plan on watching He's just not that into you on tuesday will happen, I REAAAAALLLLLY MISS HER. we go way back

Anyways, boyfriend you keep teasing me i hate you =] you're lucky i love you lol. FRIDAY SATURDAY & parhaps SUNDAY & MONDAY :) , 'they don't know bout us' ahah haters.

Got to first & the teacher didn't show up til like iono 9:45, so Mr. Thomasovick put this movie called Bella for us while waiting for the teacher. Mr. Reyes came and had to ruin the movie for us to talk bout Cathesism things, & tried relating the creation of Adam & Eve to Lord of The Rings. It was a pretty boring class cuz all I could think of was the weekend, I really miss my boyfriend. So I decided to day dream, & it led off to sleeping in class, hey sleeping in class is better than not being there everyday so whatever. Anyways speaking of that guy, I don't know where he is, I asked him to call me after school, since he usually does but he didn't surprisingly it's 7:10 and he's no where to be found. Perhaps out with someone else.. hmm? Sleeping? Napping? If he is he better not be falling asleep on me tonight, cuz if he does clearly he wasn't napping. He better have some good excuses. Urgh I'm so paranoid nowadays, well you I have every right to. I know I'm malicious sometimes as well but you can't blame that on me either. I'm just watching out for myself. I'm selfish when it comes to things that makes me happy. But whatever, I have eyes everywhere so I know exactly what goes on even if no one let me knows. Anyways nough of that, I'm just kinda cheesed again. Anyways back to my daily thing. During 3rd & 4th period we had a presentation from a girl named Wendy from Peel Health. She educated us about sanitation and all that crap. It was a pretty interesting presentation just because nowadays no one is educated when it comes to tattoo's & body piercing. The pictures she showed us were very inappropriate and gross. There's so much we need to know & research before getting piercings or tats or whatever. She also told us about a case that just happened like previously, I actually saw it on the news this morning. Basically that tattoo parlour might have been exposed to HIV, Hepatitis B & C. So everyone that got a tattoo or a piercing from 5 years from this year got a call and advice to get a test. I know enough people that got a call, it's kinda scary. OMG, i need a frikking client to do for tomorrow's class shit my life. I'm such a loafter. Hopefully James booked the Sandbanks thing already whatta loafter and a half. Speaking of that, everyone saw my Summer To Do list & decided to do a March Break To Do List right below it lol. One of then is Niagara, shore buddies .. For all I know it's gunn be loaft again lol. I don't know if I'm down for paintballing, like i mean that shit hurts man. Photoshoot I'm so down. & mmhm I just want the weekend to come, well at least Thursday, no one is reaching school on Friday so yaaaah .. whatevs i'm done




-dee

The fact that you ain't doing shit bout it makes me really really upset. If you're not gunn do it, & chose her side then I'll do something bout it. It's fucked up. You just don't care like it doesn't matter to you. URGHHHH whatever I don't wanna fight so I decided to vent my feelings here. It just really upsets me about how you 'care' SO MUCH.

=(

i know i'm too selfish..

So like I cut my hair !! AAAH, no more long hair =( I literally like cut off half of it gawsh. I wonder why people in my house are so like not in the mood, it makes me not be in the mood either, but whatever I make myself happy lol. So like someone doesn't love me anymore *rolls eyes* he said he was gunn call before ball practice but NOOOO, where's his call? I think down the toilet lol joking. I think it's cuz I made a joke that I forgot about second month lol. Its okay, I got him back from all the time he teases me and I just wanna pinch his cheeks or punch him playfully =P. But ya he's not seeing me that day clearly cuz he's going to watch the bulls game, I believe with his family, or someone else? lol joking. I'm sad cuz I wont be able to see him tomorrow =( so I have to wait longer til Friday =]. We get alone time yay. & yay he called wow I guess I was wrong bout the toilet thing =P. So I just got off the phone with him, & wow PISS OFF, girls really need to close their legs nowadays. Like leave my fucking boyfriend alone, get it straight he has a girlfriend, & he's not interested. FUCK YOU! k whatevs i'm done with this..

shut your freaking gob.

um so Saturday which was yesterday, was pretty WHACK at the beginning but ended up to be GOOD BETTER BEST towards the end =]. Seriously I hate girls, no offense but sometimes they just need to calm down and shut their freaking gob. I admit I have a bad past & so what? People change things change .. So if you're gunn bring up the past, make sure you know the person well enough to start running your mouth. Before you start pointing fingers make sure your hands are clean. My past made me what I am now, and guess what bitch.. whatever you say doesn't affect me, it also didn't affect me & my boyfriends relationship, well maybe a tad bit but hey guess what you failed. Whatever your trying to do didn't happen, it only made us stronger. I know, i know, you tried but better luck next time. Karma will hit you, & I can say this because karma hit me with I have done before, & it made me learn whats right & wrong. Telling other people you're happy for them & contradicting yourself by saying shit bout the other person doesn't make sense, like how you don't make sense. Is that the way of revenge towards me? Don't get me wrong I don't know you, & for me to have this awfull feeling towards you wow you must have done something that got me back, I hope you're happy. But keep in mind, you only got me for a few minutes there. Isn't it funny that day-by-day things change, & when you look back everything is different? Guess what, I'm different now, I payed enough for my old habits & actions.. I'm ready to be serious with life & things because for the first time I'm fucking content, & no one can take that away from me, not even YOU.

Anyways enough venting lol. As Saturday went on, there was tears, laughter & joy, it was like a mixed emotion day. At the end of the day the result was L-O-V-E. Boyfriend came over round 11ish? and started playing PS3 with my brother, jeez you're such a boy. They played until like 5. So whatever I got ready & stuff, then came down for lunch & the most awkward-est thing lol, boyfriend sitting at the dinner table with the whole family, & actually being comfortable. I just love it. So after the day at my house time to go out, even though the weather was a downer. We all went to go to dad's game, geez man they didn't have enough sub players AGAIN, but hey hands down to their team because they actually kept up with the other team having like 4 other extra players. The game went on & there was frikking 2 over-times, like whatever it got boring after awhile. The game finished round 8. Boyfriend & I decided to watch watchmen, HOLY SHIT that movie was seriously the longest movie I've watched in awhile, it started round 10 and finished at like 1. Ugly kept falling asleep, I like pinching his nose when he falls asleep lol. After the movie chilled with him for a bit then went home =]. I think yesterday was a really big big big argument but I also think it made us stronger and value each other more. I know its just one of God's way to challenge the both of us. Me & you are better than all the things we've been through I know it. The things we talked bout last night really made me realize that there are a lot of challenges on the way & also things/people that will try to ruin this, but it's really up to me & you to get through them. I love you ugly.

Anyways today was a loaft day, I'm really tired because of the fact that I got an hour less of sleep, but it's okay it means summer is coming soon, & I'm too excited =) & I know ugly is excited too, he was making me make a list of what we're gunn do for the summer, & I know it's going to be FUN FUN FUN. I literally did homework the whole day today, while talking to the boyfriend. I'm supposed to be calling him back like right now but I decided to update this first, and I bet he's gunn say "so who were you talking to?" or "what were you doing?" lol. But here I am trynna update this, aha I love that ugly = ] ..

FIVE MORE DAYS TIL MARCH BREAK .. aaah


- dee <3

LOVESICK.

Kay so I officially hate this Friday, I went to school wow straight 5 days of school isn't that bad lol. I came to first, we watched a movie called Pay It Forward, I literally watched that movie like 4587647 times already. But it's a good movie though so whatevs. Holy the person that sits beside me (no names mentioned) STINKS! holyyy deodorant please, which I think led me to almost fainting in 4th period, I literally almost fainted in class. I was doing Nicole Guerrerro's hair and all of a sudden, my vision was blurry I was feeling dizzy and I was sweating like there's no tomorrow. All I heard was Charmayne saying 'dee you look so pale'. The next thing I remember was I was sitting on Joanna's chair feeling like I was gone, totally gone, I couldn't even hear the people around me. Natalie came to the rescue & gave me ginger-ale, thanks Natalie, you're the best! Either ways I had to force myself up to finish Nicole's hair, thanks to my friends for helping me finish it, there was literally like 3 people working on one head lol. I signed out before 5th, and had to force myself to walk home alone praying to God that I'll get home safely, and luckily I did =]. I came home and my mom called me asking me what exactly was I feeling etc. Asking me if I have my period, well I don't. So she came to a stupid conclusion "ARE YOU PREGNANT?" okay NO. NEVER. I'm not ready for that just yet, I have more goals before I can become pregnant & have a baby lol. I need to finish school first. But anyways enough of that, I feel better now I guess. I feel so sad though. This is like the first friday I won't see the boyfriend, both our weeks are very hectic school, work, gym, basketball etc. I totally understand, lol speaking of the boyfriend my mom just asked me why he didn't see Ray for the whole week, and I told her that we're both busy but not to worry cuz she's gunn see him tomorrow =). Anyways yes back to that I can't wait to see him tomorrow, it's his sister's birthday today that's why he can't see me & ya I understand cuz Family comes first for sure. I just miss him, maybe that's why I almost fainted, I'm LOVESICK lol. Hopefully Athina comes over and keeps me company *cross fingers*


PS. "putang ina, nareject ako"
LMAO klaudine isn't that so funny, & ironic what I told you from the start ? I knew it anyways.. MARCHHH BREAK IN A WEEEEEEEEEEEK. WHAT WHAT WHAT ? i'm too excited.



with love...

-dee

I decided to be extra good girl this week and decided to reach class, OMG the most boring 3 hours of my life is religion class. And what pissed me off even more is he made a sitting arrangement, he literally put me in front of him, right beside MARWAN. Like wtf, ew gosh. Not trying to be mean or offensive but omg out of all the people you can put me beside, WHY MARWAN? geez, now the rest of my semester in that class is gunn be hell, but whatever we'll see how it goes. By the end of first I was frikking starving like sheesh, lunch wasn't gunn be long either so downer. Third & fourth, I swear my something is wrong with the teacher lately, she's such a bitch & i like rushed my up-do just because i wanna finish it, & it looks like crap, maybe i should re-do it again lol. Anyways I got home today and I was reading Klaudine's note and I should put some in here cuz it really inspired me for some reason.

1) "If you don't love someone, don't show motive for them to love you even more"
2) "Don't let go of something if you can't see someone else holding it"
3) "Don't hold on to something if you know you'll let go of it"
4) "Don't hold something else if you're hands are full"
5) "It's like an elevator, why would you shove yourself in something that is full, when there's fully stairs waiting for you"
6) "If you're not happy with someone, break up with them, why would you wanna be with someone that doesn't make you happy"
7) "If the person you love doesn't love you back, don't complain, i'm sure there's people you did the same thing to."
8) "If you love two people, choose the second one, because there's no way you can love a second one if you loved number one"
9) "Do you know the space between people that are facing each others back?You gotta go all around the world to be able to face someone you once turned your back to"
10) "Not all the things that you understand are real, and not all the thing that you don't understand are lies"
11) "Love is like a ditch, its scary to fall, but if you fall its either by accident or you're just really dumb."
-
I frikking translated all of those geez lol, they were all written in tagalog, there was 19 of them but i really don't understand the other 8. But ya I tried I hope they make sense lol.
+

On the other hand, we've been fighting lately. & i think we only fight for the fun of it, just because kind of thing. I know you know it too, I think it's because we haven't seen each other in awhile. We're better than this & we both know it. I was told to never look back & I'm sorry that sometimes I do, it is sometimes my fault that the past keeps coming up, especially yours. So we really have to have a talk about letting go of the past, I know that it takes time but this time can we make it freal? I'll help you, as long as you're willing to give me the help I need as well. I really wanna be the girl that you will be proud of while saying "damn, she's the one." I wanna be the girl that changes you for the better, and the girl that you are willing to change for. I also want you to be that someone that I won't give up on, so far I'm successful about that. Letting go of the past is one thing, but I always learned not to forget just because I know that there were great things that can be learned from what we've both been through. I love you, & as of now its you, just YOU no one else, I know that you doubt me sometimes but please don't.The future may freak us out, but it will come either way. The past may give us mixed emotions, but it will stay with us no matter what. It is possible to forgive, to regret, to remember and even to forget, but it is impossible to lose the entire truth. I know for a fact that you are it, im ready to setlle. Some might say it's too early to say, but do i care about what they say? NO. because what matters most is that im happy with you. I love you, & I swear to god if you hurt me, i'll leave. Like what I always say, we know what's right & what's wrong & i know that you know we both need improvement. This is not the end yet, it's just the beginning. We'll get there baby..




- dee

Hmm anyways, whatta nice day outside. Hopefully the weather stays like this omg it's like nice but I want it to be warmer. So grad assembly was today and that was boring, and some next stinky guy was sitting beside Klaudine like he seriously stank. Im sorry but I expect that people know that thing called deodorant. Anyways shit no really, I really need a job, I have to pay like 180 for grad fees shoot me. But whatever I just can't wait til that day. But OMG MY GRAD PIC IS THE NASTIEST AND THE UGLIEST, i looked like shit, i was sick like a cow when i took it, as in i literally forced my self to get up and go to school for 5 minutes to take my grad pic. ITS SO NARSTY. Anyways, uh today was a so-so day lunch was funny, C to the DOME. AHA. So my mommy couldn't pick my lazy ass up after school so I decided I was gunn walk home with James, Ryan, Ero, Jizelle & Lester. The boys decided to run ball with these two brown guys lol. Geez man those two got killed. But whatevs, then they came over for a bit & ya .. SO question is ...... SHOULD I GO TO SCHOOL TOMORROW? hmmmm we'll see lol. But ya I miss Ray, yesterday & today made me realize a bit of things. Maybe it's just me but am I getting paranoid everyday? I haven't felt this feeling for anyone at all, I swear. I was never this clingy or anything to someone. I guess I just really care bout him a lot. He makes me happy, & I hope that he's satisfied with me. We have too much plans for the future.

some pictures from today :

so many assume, so little know.

Tell me why it feels like a frikking wednesday? Gees, is it just me or am I that excited for this weekend? hmm. So I woke up today, doing my morning routine. I was in the shower with so much things running through my mind. I can't quite understand why I deserved all of these things that's happening to me. Am I a bad person, am I that horrible? ugh I just hate it. But anyways my classes went by really quick, I'm happy at the fact that I finished 2 haircuts today, THANK YOU LORD. Im not behind anymore, one more haircut & one up-do to go oh shit and facial. Then I have to do everything on clients again. EFF MY LIFE. Im kind of cheesed though, my teacher cut my mannequin's hair too short, geez. So as I was saying, weekend? What's poppin this weekend? um I think just the usuals, I think im gunn bring Ray to Jizelle's jam, but I gotta confirm that still. Tomorrow is our Grad assembly, geez what are they gunn talk about, I hate boring-ness but i'd rather be in there than being in class falling asleep when the teacher keeps on talking & talking. BOYFRIEND, i miss you, as usual. It feels so good to know that you're always by my side supporting me with everything no matter what when life is hard, Thank you soooo much. Anywayssss. I think im done, i dont even make sense anymore, i just like woke up like honestly.



- DEE.

reminisce ..

Uh whatta crappy monday, but hey I'll dedicate this post to Lauren Romano.. I know we've been going through a lot, i mean A LOT & i can't muster up all the feelings i have about this. But just know that I won't hold grudges or anything against this. I guess things happen for a reason no matter how much i tried or we both tried its still not happening. Maybe because we're both not making an effort? or just i dont know. But you know what hey, you're happy, i'm happy. we're good right? But ya .. HAPPY ONE YEAR best friend. I LOVE YOU ..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIZELLE :)

I love you, I hope you have a great one.. You really do deserve it : )

on the other hand, thank you God for everything that you have given me up to this day. I really appreciatte it.

Boyfriend, I MISS YOU! =[ please edit my resume soon lol, i need a job like RIGHT NOW :(

On the other hand, hopefully Klaudine's foot gets better. I feel bad that she can't even put on her sneakers properly .. :( lol.

But ya I really hate not getting my things done for school, especially now that Im in grade 12, thank God for the boyfriend keeping me at school. But ya I didnt go thursday or friday so today i really had to catch up, but major failure because i havent gotten my cosmo things done, i have 3 more hair cuts to do and an up-do, LORD HELP ME.


- dee

one month weekend.

Friday:

Stayed home, didnt feel like going to school

Slept for the whole day

Boyfriend came over for the night

Went out to get pizza

Went home & just chill

Finish Quarantine, lol at carlo getting scared

Saturday:

Slept in

Met up with boyfriend at PHYBA

Watched brother's game

Went to AMC with boyfriend to watch Streetfighter, pretty sick movie

Went to playdium to play, omg i hate basketball lol.

Chilled with boyfriend for a bit more

Came home

Sunday:

Slept in again

Boyfriend came over round 3ish after his game

Went out to buy brother food

Chilled

HAPPY ONE MONTH BABY

this month was awesome, so many ups & downs but we still made it through everything. Too many inside jokes lol, "SAYS" "CASE" "it's not new asshole" LOL. Too many memories, meeting a bunch of my family and them saying how you look like my Aunt's ex lol. Crying to you when I had problems. Valentines day was the best, thanks for the great day at Niagara. Your annoying-ness is too cute baby. Thanks for the things you gave me last night : ) I love them as you can see lol. I know we had arguments, but i seriously think that it brought our relationship to another level. Im looking forward to the next months ;), I LOVE YOU

- dee