if it comes back then that's how you know.

Yesterday was my first day of work :) I was scared at first but hey it was good. Pretty easy, so chilling & fun. I was kind of tired though because I didn't get my daily nap before going to work due to driving school. Speaking of which, that pissed me off too because I didn't even drive that much cuz I was writing down all the steps ahah, I really have to study all kinds of parking. Anyways, work was good except one thing, it burns my hands & it hurts. I should get used to it soon & memorize all the stuff. Big thanks to my baby for picking me up after being so tired with work. I got home and I literally just collapsed on my bed while on the phone with baby. I missed him. Good thing i saw him last night. But moving on, today, guess whattttt ? I got Red Violet peek-a-boos at cosmo class, thanks Amber :). Amber had the opportunity to touch my virgin hair aha. I think I want more highlights though cuz it doesn't really show that much .. hmmmm?

-

I'm SICK of this, SICK OF BEING SICK. You're constantly telling me that I don't love you, like you really know what's inside my head! It's annoying & not nice to know that my own boyfriend doesn't even trust or believe the love that I have for him. You're telling me you're done hurting? well I'M DONE HURTING TOO! I'm done with all the fussing & fighting everyday. My world & my life already revolves around you & that's not enough for you? What have I done to hurt you? Did I hurt you by not typing on this blog about you? or what I feel about you? Well guess what, you hurt me way more than that. You're constantly telling me I don't care when all I cared for is this relationship & how to make you happy. Always putting you above everyone else, that I even forgot about my own friends. You're always thinking at the back of your head that I'm doing shit behind your back when we both know I DON'T. & we both know that YOU DO. I told you to help me out, yet all you think about is your feelings. A relationship goes two way not only one. I know you're stubborn, but what have I done from day one? I dealt with it, all the imperfections, the non-sense fights, the cheating, the lying, the past, the faults. You told me it was gunn change & so far it hasn't improved. I gave you all that you wanted & more than you deserved, yet you still didn't open my eyes and tell your self that maybe I really do love you. Cuz trust me no good girl would put up with the kind of shit we've both been through. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I really tried my best with this. Don't come back to me until you find out what you're gunn do to make this relationship go two way. Don't come back to me until you open your eyes into knowing how much I cared about you. I just can't deal with immaturity anymore. As much as I care, sometimes it's alright to let things go, like what the song says, 'if you love something let it go, & if it come's back then that's how you know' ..




- dee.

F*CK MY LIFE.

Fuck my life sideways! Woke up to an ugly weather today which is really gross, doesn't help me, bad weather especially rain makes me sad for some reason. I HATE IT! Anyways not only the weather is a downer but school is also a downer, I had 3 unit tests today. Religion was such a loaft, seriously there was like 7 people in the class that showed up. I guess my teacher was right when he said "sometimes success is all about showing up", which is why I'm really pushing myself to go to school lol. Cosmo test was hard frikking 110 questions, like wow is she crazy? but whatevs. Chem killed me, I fucked up on my quiz, i got 7 out of 10, which is okay but I can do a lot better. I should really stop sleeping & start listening.Thank goodness my dad was home to pick me up from school cuz there's no way im walking under this ugly ass weather. Speaking of bad mood, my phone's gunn get cut off soon which sucks balls, but whatever I'll get my own :).

The weekend was so nice, spent Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, & Saturday with the boyfriend. Geez my friends really has to work out again, shame shame ! you guys lost to KIDS! lol. out of shape much? LOL it was fun when me, trixie, jed, & ero got bored & decided to drive ray's car, well ero did. No he didn't get mad lol he was cool with it surprisingly. It was so fun chilling with them, I miss them. I should really start chilling again since the weather is really nice nowadays except for today. Like what I said Enough of me hibernating right? Also i forgot to mention that Trixie & Ryan killed me & Laurence on ball, damn Trixie is good, Ryan depended on her lol. But too bad I was feeling sick so decided to go home early, few minutes after Athina came. Sorry wife =( lol. I'm slowly coming out of my shell :) .. The couples should do a date soon :) i'm so down lol. But anyways me & Ray watched Silence of The Lambs, pretty sick movie I thought it was gunn be scary but ya. AND AND AND you know were bored when... WE WATCH CONGO ON A FRIDAY NIGHT. LMFAO. losers much? whatevs, I hope I feel better soon so I can finally go out and enjoy.

OUUUU, i have work tmrw.. oh mhan, wish me luck. I know I'll do good. This is also one issue why I never went out that much no more, CUZ NO MONEY, HONEY. geez, and now that I'm gunn have money, Ill have to give my card to Ray or Athina because I can't spend anymore lol. Anyways off to my homework. CIAO!


P.S.
GOOD LUCK ON YOUR EXAM TMRW BABY!
you'll do good, two or three more
exams to go and what your done?
I HATE YOU! & I still have like
two and a half more months ..
FUCK MY LIFE.

PROMISE.

The few days have been tough, things were just worst as before. I trusted you with all of me. You promised me that you would never do that to me, I'll keep it to myself. I felt the most angry feeling I have ever felt in awhile when I saw what you were doing behind my back. You we're caught, I saw them with my own eyes. I'm not the type of person that believes what people tell me but once I see it for myself it's a different story. When you did all of those things, especially 'throwing our love away', I didn't know what I was going to do but say 'drive me home'. I just couldn't believe that the love of my life did such evil thing behind my back, I wanted to be alone, I never wanted to see your face again, didn't wanna hear anything to do with you. I'm not going to lie, you lost me for a second there, I guess I was letting my mind take over my heart. But after you cried so much, my heart actually took over my mind. Seeing you cry in front of me, hearing the words that came out of your mouth, all the apologies, & the things you did to actually have things back to normal. I appreciate all of those because for once I'm not the one giving in & trying to do make our relationship work, it was you. I really felt cared & loved. Now it's back to normal but remember along the way, you still have to prove to me that you are MAN ENOUGH & MATURE ENOUGH to actually commit to this & not fool around with my feelings. I'm kindly asking you that if time comes & you don't want this anymore, you don't have to stick around, just please tell me & PLEASE don't ever do what you did, they're just really unacceptable. I love you too much to let it go just like that.
-
What beautiful weather yesterday and today. I can finally feel the sun omg time for me to come out of my shell & stop hibernating. I have hibernated enough lol. The downer is... IM SICK =( but whatevs. I just spent the day with boyfriend yesterday, thursday, & wednesday lol. played ball as usual. Chilled at my house last night. Baby if my brother wins & scored 6 points you better do the deal you make lol or he'll bug you forever.

LOL boyfriend's blog (http://1-con.blogspot.com/) made me laugh like there's no tomorrow. You're too harsh babe, I told you not to be that mean to her. But it's okay at least you didn't expose her about the things you told me. Anyways moving on.. YAY I got a job :), finally. I've been unemployed since January, time for me to frikking get money. I'm still disappointed at the fact that I quit my last job, like seriously how dumb can I get? But it's whatever, thanks kuya ian for getting me the job :). That dude made me wait for like 2 hours, like sh*t. But whatevs I got the job anyways =]. Yesterday was a pretty sick day-off from school. After my job interview, baby picked me up well waited for me, since he took half the day off from work lol. Went to my house to finish folding the clothes I was supposed to do before I left, see I'm being a good girl lol. I guess we also went to my house to pick up my brother's ball, since Ray's outdoor ball sucks ass lol. Went to Gonzaga and we saw JOEY, our new found friend. He's such a cutie, him & my boyfriend even played one-on-one for some McDonald's. "You better buy me my McDonald's next time I see you" lol, baby you're such a bully. Too bad he was a cheater aha. Got bored at Gonzaga & went off to Marcellinus, played some street ball, well I watched he played lol. Anyways I checked the PHYBA rankings, and they're not the only team that played 6 times omg baby, you're so blind put on some glasses lol. I had driving school today shit my life, I just can't wait to finish, I wanna start driving. Baby you gotta teach me how to do my 3-point turn & my parallel please & thanks =].
I'm so looking forward to this whole week, I can feel the sun. & I have the biggest feeling that this summer I'm going to be dark! I'm scared lol. Whoever has a Wonderland Season Pass from last year, please let me know if you guys wanna renew it this year Me & Ray needs 2 more people. THAAAAAAAANKS. Okay, this is like non-sense now like always. whatevssss, done done done.

Btw, people has to stop fucking spraying in the hallways. I seriously hate where my locker is located well all of our lockers are located. I loved my locked in Grade 10 & 11. I hate going there knowing some stinky person sprayed his/her fucking perfume that makes everyone gag, cough, sneeze, & complain. Geeeez, I was literally coughing my lungs out, & this is like the third time this happened. So whoever you are, please spray your shit when there's no one affected thanks.


Baby & Joey playing one-on-one

Thursday: stayed home once again..geez I really gotta stop being lazy, & I will. Ray came over to pick me up & go back around to my house to change his pants ahaha too jokes, watched What Happened in Vegas & Identity. That identity movie creeped the living heck out of me. But we were seriously turning around all the time that day, literally.

Friday: Church was so long holy I almost fell asleep, or did i? =P. I seriously thought it was going to finish round 3, but no.. It finished at around 5. Me & boyfriend went to the movies to watch Observe & Report, I still think that I Love You Man is better. That movie was just corny but it's okay it still made me laugh aha =P. Lol baby you want some SWISS CHALET? seriously, Swiss Chalet hates us. It was only 10 & they're already closed, so being a grumpy old man when he's hungry, we ended up at Denny's again lol, it's okay we love Denny's anyways. Saw Gloria, Ashley, & Ralph when we were about to eat. I also just realized that day that I could scream really loud, & so can he. Wow, we're too stubborn. It's all good in the hood.

Saturday: Decided to go Downtown with who else? my boyfriend lol. Went shopping, I must say that the new Nautica Oceans perfume smells like heaven aha. But don't get it, I don't want you guys smelling like my boyfriend, kidding. Finally ate some Swiss Chalet that he wanted since the night before aha. Chinese Swiss Chalet =P .. " did i just get a whole chicken? " ahaha. But before all that happened I almost forgot we finally cleaned his car. Geez man that car needed it real bad. But still didn't finish cleaning the inside part which we HAVE TO DO soon right? lol. That also brought back memories from summer 08 damn. Exact same car wash place lol. Then went to get some ice cleam at baskin robins. Geez babe you're seriously getting me fat. After downtown, went back to Sauga to play some ball at Gonzaga, that brought back memories as well. It was sooo cold. " yo, look at his calves " ; " *burp* omg popeyes right there " .. omg too funny =P.



Today: Church was so early, woke up because I had to. Went to the park. Came home, boyfriend came over & bonded with the family : ) while I fell asleep lol. Baby you still owe me chocolates! Thanks for coming to see me today btw you're the best =]. You got my parents in a good mood cuz of that thing you brought for them, iono how to spell it lol. I literally laughed at my mom when she said "how come ray kisses me when he comes here or leaves, & you guys don't" geez. It's love. I bet my brother is still celebrating that he beat you on NBA Live, booooring. You know what else is boring? BASEBALL. Im such a noob when it comes to sports. fuck me



-

On the other hand, who ever said that THIS doesn't phase me? Obviously it does because it involves me & other things. Don't worry I know bout the Blue Mountain thing, because before he bugged you, he bugged me first. Like what I said, when I push him away he makes you a rebound. You know why? because you're letting him. We both know guys get brainwashed easily, so all the things you told him about what I have done in the past affects him, why you say? because he cares about me. You really think that if he likes you or wants to be with you like what you're trying to say, he's still going to be by my side right now? Maybe you should actually just tell me all the things that he's 'hiding' because I am curious. You told him to stay with me, yet you're admitting that you still have feelings for him. I just don't get, is this the way of you getting revenge from me because of the past? Well I guess the things you told him about me didn't have any effect because it came from him that you don't matter to him. Yes maybe time will tell, but so far it's been great being with him. You're telling me I'm mindfucking him? He's not stupid to not know if i am mindfucking him or not. & If I am like what you say, we seriously wouldn't be together by now. He turned his back on you over some gee? That proves one more thing, that he really doesn't wanna be with you so i really don't know why you're telling me that he's not serious about me. As much as you know him, I know him well enough to tell you that he doesn't tolerate bullshit, he gets what he wants, & he's not stupid. So if I am fooling him, why would he see me almost everyday of the week? why would he meet my whole family? why would he bond with my family? why would he bring me to his games? go to dinner with me & my family? you really think that if he doesn't care about me or if he thinks im bullshitting him, he would do those things? I don't think so. It seems like you have a lot to say about how I am getting fooled by him & him not being serious about me, when you finally think that it's the right time to talk bout it let me know cuz I will be waiting. & I hope they're no bullshit.

Woman to Woman

WOMAN TO WOMAN

- Thea Monyee



I’m actually glad that you were bold and brave enough to call my house
So, that we can discuss this woman to woman and try to work some of these things out
So, we can compare notes on some dates and times, and try to figure out some of his tired ass lies
I’m actually glad to be hearing from the lips that left the lip sticks on my man’s colla
Even though he told me he was working late, just tryna earn a couple extra dollas
And I loved and I trusted him, so his bullshit I would swallow
Even though my intuition would never let me sleep
So, I guess the gap in our relationship was where you thought you would fit in ?
Just an insecure woman chasing after a man who’s already got a woman
But your pussy is not deep enough for a real man to fall in love with,
And this we already know because see your skirt is so short that it already shows your best assets
So, there’s no point in wasting time tryna figure out what you’re thinking after all
He is not fucking you for your mind
And you’re still young at heart, so you think this is real cute
Telling your friends girl, he’s cheating on me because he really wants you
And the reality is we are nothing alike
When he can’t deal with all of me, he goes to you to get me off of his mind, but it never works
See, he gets real still as he lies between the sheets that he sees
And now he’s tuning you out because he’s picturing me
Because you put up with that shit that I just won’t deal with
Because I’m strong in who I am
And he loves that, he loves that about me
It’s just that sometimes he can’t stand the reality that he doesn’t deserve a woman like me
And when he feels that way, well hell…
That’s when he comes crawling to your dirty shit
And just like a child, you thought you would call me to share
Calling me to disclose with me the colour of my man’s underwear
And you tell me like I don’t already know
Hell, I bought ‘em
Tryna tell me about how my man fucks, bitch I taught him
So, why don’t you do me a favour
And when he comes over tonight, and he’s coming and you’re coming…
And you’re both coming at last,
Just simply lean back his head and look him deep in his eyes,
And you’ll see me, waving back at your ass .




-
some deeeeeeeeep shit, kudos to Athina for this =)

wow, i haven't updated in quite awhile now. Well the past days have been rough & tough, but like everything else I'm getting through with my life, with the people that are most important in it. Me & Ray had our first double date with Athina & James, that was fun. Fast & The Furious was a good movie, though some people were saying that Tokyo Drift was better, well I still think this one is good, they're all good. Ive been slacking in school really bad, I gotta pick it up & start going to school. & I will. Today was a really scary day for me, but God answered my prayers, I'll keep that to myself. I really love how girls think they know me & talk shit to my boyfriend about me, saying what I did with my ex-boyfriend. It's just funny, because you don't know shit, you don't know me, I'm really glad that you took the time to even think of what to tell my boyfriend. Too bad girl, he doesn't like you, so telling him "oh ray i'd never do that to you" just makes you look like a slut. So keep talking, I'll listen. Let's see what else you're going to come up with. HAHA.

Anyways, I really miss my ugly. Thank God I'm seeing him tomorrow. I really need him, a hug from him & not letting go. This week is tough for us, but we got through it. I LOVE YOU.

"I've got my future planned,
& I swear you're in it.. I LOVE YOU"

- ray valdivia


♥
DEE.

EGGGGIES.

APRIL 2,2009

First off HAPPY 13 MONTHS BEST, we got enough behind us & more ahead of us =] I LOVE YOU & I got you ALWAYS! Yesterday was such a nice day out 14 degrees, went to Jack Darling with almost everyone. I missed them a lot a lot a lot. Thanks JAMES RYAN & LAURENCE for making us 'BASSS' our way there lol. It's kay we were with Ryan, Linda, Jeff, Erick & Andrew. Me, Klaudine & Athina did such a long ass mission & a half. Got there and it was MAD COLD. which I think led to the fact that I feel sick right now. Omg did I ever tell you guys that those Cadbury EGGIES thingys were so addicting? well now you know =P. We took nuff pictures, it was so beautiful there. It's so hard to climb a frikkin tree seriously, so baby if you're reading this I just proved to you that I ain't no monkey =P. Boyfriend picked me, Athina, & Klaudine up around 6:30 after getting his haircut, we drove along Mississauga Rd. talking bout people getting murdered there & stuff, which scares Athina. Im not gunn lie Im scared too lol. But anyways boyfriend drove us to 'MIDGET LAND' lol. Athina & Klaudine we're so amazed ahaha. I could see myself in them when I first saw that place. After dropping the two at terms me & baby went to Sauga Secondary to shoot around, holy their courts there are tall =/. Surprisingly I got some in : ). Thanks baby for picking getting me from that cold ass place =]

APRIL 1, 2009

HAPPY 2ND MONTH BABY, the past few month/s have been really great with you. We have so many ups & downs, yet we still get through them no matter what. The things you've made me realize, made me learn, & made me experience are such great accomplishment so far. I never get sick of spending time with you. Sorry for the hardships & stubbornness I give you sometimes, the words that come out of my mouth when we argue are non-intentional & I'm sorry. I know there are a lot of more great things ahead of us .Like what I always say, I look forward to them, & I'm excited =]. I've never had this with anyone before, now I can say I'm settled & I won't give up on you, on us, & this. Sometimes it might seem that I don't care but I really care for you the most. I Love You, & thank you for everything ugly ;) .

Today was my first day back in school, geez I never felt so lazy in my life in such a long time lol. All my teachers was asking me where I have been and stuff, well I've been home :). Geez, Mr. Reyes woke me up during Religion class aha, as in he actually bumped on my desk with his chair intentionally. Cosmo class was fun, I gave Maryse a haircut today, I also put hot rollers on her hair. Speaking of that I still have to do all my client day reports, fml. I think Imma be doing Maryse's hair tomorrow again, conditioning treatment perhaps? Chem was sucky, tell me why we have to make cookies for thursday, like miss people are busy. Speaking of Thursday, no school yay =], Jack Darling with the darlings? I miss my friends, I actually haven't chilled with them for awhile. I miss laughing about stupid things and just being around them 24/7 not saying I don't like the way things are going for me right now because I do. I love it. Things change, I just miss the old days, when everyone was still youngins aha. Friday is Best friend's & Gerikka's birthday jam :), i haven't jammed with them for awhile as well wow, I'm like down low forever & ever & ever like what Kuya Ian said lol. I don't know how to get there so I guess Im gunna reach with Lauren since she needs help with the jam i think?. But ya omg it's mine & boyfriend's 2 months tomorrow, that's what imma be doing tomorrow, writing a big ass post :) hopefully I can achieve it. Something is wrong though, something different. He's not in the mood? Having a bad day? I don't know. Is it just me or is it wrong that Im always On MSN, even if im not talking to anyone? I don't know correct me if I'm wrong but last time I checked no one said I wasn't allowed to be ON, or wasn't allowed to change my display pic. But whatever, I know your tired or something's wrong that you don't wanna tell me. So I'll drop it cuz I don't wanna have an argument again.. You might say I don't care but what is left for me to do when you think all my actions are wrong? I have nothing.. since I can't seem to change your mind towards things. One question, aren't the things I do for you enough? Am I not enough? Cuz to me you're more than enough, way more than enough. Let's face it.. I just want your jealousy to calm down...

Love is patient, love is kind.
It is not

jealous

, it is not boastful,
it is not proud. It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking, it is

not easily angered

,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always

trusts

,
always hopes, always perseveres.
- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

♥

dee

Friday was such a nice day out, was supposed to run ball with the boyfriend but nooo cuz I had to wait for my school to call and it called round like 6:45 lol. Parents & brother was asking me & Ray to go eat dinner with them, but no cuz of stuff. Had some 'peace' in the house when loud people left *cough*. Haunting at Connecticut (however you spell it) is some next scary ugly whack movie. The freaking theater was packed with bitches that wanted to fight each other f'real lol, people have to calm down sometimes, & others should shut their mouth sometimes as well, so everybody gets along. Went all the way to Brampton to eat Denny's but I don't know how we got there cuz I was sleeping, like always. Had some talk with the boyfriend about the 'past' and stuff, made me kinda glad cuz at least we're both honest bout it not hiding anything. Saturday, thought I wasn't going to see the boyfriend due to the fact that he went to Buffalo with his fam, I decided to go to youth, I miss it.. I miss everyone. From 80 to frikking 35, big number was taken away from it, but hey we're moving along better than before. No arguing, no backstabbing, no nothing.. Everything is bout God. Thanks to Kuya Matthew for guiding us to get back up on our feet even with a small amount of number. I also learned the meaning of ACTS when praying, Adoration - Confession - Thanksgiving - Supplication: basically Adoration meaning, adoring God, praising him. Confession is self explanatory. Thanksgiving is thanking God for what we have, etc. & Supplication is asking God for our needs. A prayer also has to end in the name of Jesus, or in Christ. Bur anyways enough of my preaching, ugly came over round 10 after youth & we just chilled, watched Role Model, pretty funny but a corny movie. Sunday, church finally, after 2836587 Sundays of missing it, Kuya Nico picked me up since no one can come with me, thanks kuya. Boyfriend came over after church, lol to finish his unfinished game with my brother. I can't believe he actually beat my brother twice ahah. Today I intentionally didn't go to school because of the ABA show, decided not to go since ive been going for the past years. Boyfriend surprised me again, surprisingly he didn't need to go to work so we just chilled for the whole day :). I also had my first in-car training for driving school and it was um scary at first but at least I got the good teacher VINNAY, he's funny, he made my in-class live, unlike those other guys. Anyways he made me do all the hard stuff I can't wait til my next one. :)
oh gosh second month coming soon : ) yayayayay, and it falls on the day of APRIL FOOLS. So um if you're reading this ugly, you better not be fooling me or else ill kill you lol. love you :)

anyways ill update more later? maybe. just maybe =P

♥

dee

PLAID.

civies day today. Watched Few Good Men during Religion, seriously that was the first movie that didn't make me fall asleep in Religion lol. Lunch was pretty sick, went out for oyakodon however you spell it & took nuff pictures with my poser friends lol but i love them to death :) . Ill probably post some up next post? or add some up later on here. But ya what's up with the farmer's sweater / plaid shirts today? oh & the color blue..Third & fourth period cosmo was pretty chill, just marked & we got a chill supply. Hopefully Jessica won the skills competition, & so did Cate hopefully. These girls are really awesome when it comes to hair seriously. Fifth chemistry was pretty boring, it feels like I'm doing math class again except without James bugging me & more boring & Math class was more live & chill than chem. Went to sq. with Klaudine after school, I'm her lucky charm :) lol KIKOman, i swear to god Klaudine that's a soy sauce :P, 'NOSEBLEED' my ass. Waited for Kuya Ian to get off work, chilled, & ate. Thanks kuya for the food :). Saw Jhen, Dawn, Ryan & Kuya Rey after like 29864287432 years lol, I miss these people. Thinking back to the old times when everyone was always together even if there wasn't anything to do. Anyways ew there's so much pedophiles/perverts in the world nowadays. Saw the boyfriends afterward & went to the Marcellinus court to shoot some hoops, I was so happy I saw the boyprreennd, it feels like forever, i missed him =] I got to bite him on the cheek aha. I still owe you like 364753847 BITES baby, you swore nuff times. You're such a teaser killed me in ball but hey i killed you in 21 =]. But that was such a workout never felt this tired in awhile, since that day me & boyfriend went to the Y to work-out which to think bout it was a looooong time ago lol. Taking a shower felt so nice lol. anyways seeing boyfriend again tomorrow yay :) but im still bummed bout the fact that im not seeing him on saturday/ ( N ) instead im going to driving school. GAAAY lol. I really gotta stop loafting & start working on my life. anyways that's it for now.

♥

dee

If a guy treats you like he doesn't give a shit, it's because he doesn't give a shit.
-He's Just Not That Into You

kayso, i still wanna watch he's just not that into you *coughcough*. LOL I learned the most random thing ever from the best friend, that i grow while i hiccup. & for someone else that reads this you know who you are, I'll do your blog when I feel like it :) lol, it tooook me long enough to do your previous one mr cheeseball over thurr. I should be doing homework right now so umm =( beeeerrr gay. I shall after I finish this. I can't wait til Friday :). Tmrw is civies which means stresssss, lol don't know what to wear. So today my mom booked my Humber assessment test for April 18th, omg i'm scared. I can already feel a lot of stress coming soooooon. All the grad thing, grades, fees, blahs blahs blahs. At least I'm happy & content with what I got right now. I know all this hard work is gunn get me somewhere. homework time ....
reminder: don't swear / if you do SLAP YOUR MOUTH :)
it's all love.

♥

dee.

ever since i was young, i never
understood anything about the world.
and anything that happened in my life,
the only thing that ever made sense
was you, and how i felt about you.
thats all ive ever known, and thats enough;
that's enough for the rest of my life.
-- Boy Meets World.


new layout :)

March 19: Saw everyone at Square, I knew it was gun be such a loaft but it's okay, spent the time with the loves. Kuya Ian made me some nice crepes which I'm craving right now lol. So much for job hunting wow, whatever I'll do it on Thursday, this time no loaft lol. Me & Ray had a talk and it was probably by far the most tears I've cried in awhile, but we resolved it like always, no need to get into details. Got dropped off home by Ray, thanks baby for skipping your gym time =]

March 20: Happy Birthday Dadddddydukes & Kuya Lawrence Teves. Sorry Kuya I couldn't make it to your party, I had to stay home for daddydukes's birthday. Anyways boyfriend came over and supposed to stay home and just chill, but mommadukes decided she didn't wanna cook so we just went out for dinner along with baby, lol wasn't that awkward anymore, my family & my boyfriend are starting to get comfortable with each other which is really good : ). Went back home after dinner & watched Rush Hour 2, LMAO such a funny movie, & watched Monsters Inc. after, geeeez BOO is so adorable. Baby you're the big blue monster lol, i forgot his name :P

March 21: Got woken up early from staying up late the night before. Parents wanted to go to the grandparents base cuz Uncle from Calgary & cousins were over. Haven't done that in awhile so I wanted to go anyways, was supposed to go out with Ray after so he decided to pick me up all the way to Dufferin, thanks baby :). My family loved the cake, especially my dad lol. Went all the way back to my house to get ready cuz I looked a mess while big baby was sleeping on my bed lol. Went to the park & ran lmao it was freezing, discovered some place where there's enough basketball nets. Lol baby let's go camping there. eheh. Watched I Love You Man in big ass theatre, soo funny lol you guys should go watch it. Went to go see Athina at Maci-Maci lol that whore :P no comment, I love her. Was gunn have dinner with her but too awkward & things can't expose lol. Went to rent Child's Play 2 instead & went back to my place and watch. I love just relaxing & cuddling with you baby, even if we don't do things & go to places it's good : ), being laid back is good sometimes =]

March 22: Last day of march break (N), went shopping at Vaughan Mills, went to Sq afterwards to exchange something, then went home to talk to boyfriend.. such a downer we didn't even get to do half the March-break list me & everyone made, oh well summmmmer time soon =]

Today: SCHOOOOOL - downer suckie annoying boring slow effed etc.
lol baby 'bring it on knee-grow' watch me bitch ! lol. On the other hand I feel really bad that I can't go with Klaudine tomorrow to her assessment test at Ryerson, I thought it was next tuesday =( lol. Sorrrrry din, I LOVEEEE YOU : ) I'll make it up to you on thursday ;) .. ouuuu I was talking to Kuya Rey today and wow i havent talked to him in such a long time, I guess some people just move on & just mature from a phase where its all immaturity. I still remember when I would chill with him almost everyday, now he doesn't have time for his bunso & everyone else anymore. But it's okay i understand him. At least hes happy with his stuff now. But kuya, we all miss you, especially me & Lauren.


-
I'm really sad that I'm not seeing my boyfriend this Saturday, i guess ill do my driving school lol, i know you're reading this don't even say 'ya you always say that baby' .. psssh bitch please =]. lol. Uh i guess i'll leave it here, & I should wait for John & Kate +8 season finale. That show is too adicting.


-Dee

TODAY
- chilling with lauren :) fina'frikkin'ly, missioning to b-town to pick her up

- job hunting

- perhaps movie? he's just not that into you

- see everyone? i misssssss everyone wtf.

- etc.



+ i hate the fact that you don't give a tiny bit of trust to your own girlfriend. Everytime we fight, it's because of your issue. What do you want me to say when we fight? obviously ill defend myself, when you're accusing me of shit that you used to do. You should know me by now ... whatevsssssssssssss.

What's up duck? ew im awake so early, it's only 11:55, supposed to go to the doctors with my brother but no cuz my mom left his health card so she had to go home early and bring him instead. I hate having my period, my attitude turns around like there's no tomorrow. I become such a bitch towards everyone, my body hurts, headaches, etc. So to whoever I bitch at, I'm sorry especially to the boyfriend. Since you're the only one around me all the time I tend to bitch at you the most, you don't quite get the fact that you just have to let me be for a bit & give me the benefit of the doubt just yet.. but you're getting at it, & I appreciate it. UGH I seriously think I have a bladder infection, I told my mom about what I'm feeling and she being a nurse even told me that it is an infection. Ive been drinking cranberry juice since forever that its starting to gross me out. Anyways I really don't feel like doing anything today just because I'm not in the mood. Friday is papadukes's birthday and iono what to get him, it's also kuya Lawrence's birthday. The boyfriend doesn't wanna go with me even just for a bit like seriously baby would it kill you to come with me for a bit?But whatever I won't even make it big. I just realized we haven't had a big argument for more than a week now, it's a record lol. I really hope we keep it up. I realized its all bout giving in, trusting, and just being happy together no matter what. But I don't wanna jinx it cuz what he have going is the best. Anyways I feeeeel so hungry so I shall eat after this. ill update more later i guess?

NTS: make eduardo print resume.


-drs

FML.

*first picture with short hair =(

*boyfriend crossing some guy

*brother & boyfriend bonding lol.


Fuck my life, it's a very nice day today & what am I doing? NOTHING, as usual staying home and doing nothing productive. But I decided that after I update I will do something lol. Yesterday was a good day, Ray surprised me by calling me early in the morning & saying he's coming over it really made me smile & happy because I got to spend Friday, Saturday, & Monday with him. Fell asleep again since it was too early when he came over. Cooked some breakfast & played PS3 again. I really enjoyed watching them get scared over Resident Evil 5, like it's a video game only fags gets scared of that lol. My brother was literally wrapped in a blanket & my boyfriend just being scared ahaha. I seriously fell asleep while watching their boring ass game =P. After getting ready we decided to hit the park, went to the ball court at Marcellinus to run ball as you can see from the pictures above. My brother blocked some fatass old man LMAO it was so jokes aha. & my boyfriend was just loving his Chris Paul passes. hhhmmm lol. Anyways went home afterward and watched some more basketball, I seriously hate basketball & wrestling. I feel like such a man watching those things with them lol. Anyways so I had a talk with my long time friend Jeric, holy I haven't talked to that man in such a long time he was telling me how he's gunn leave for 3 months during the summer to train for the army again, & he's deciding if he wants to go to the war next year. He's so brave geez, I still remember when I overheard his sister say 'kuya whenever you're away with the army, I get so scared because I don't know what you do there & I'm worried for you'.. it really melted my heart hearing that from a 6 year old. I'm proud of him with all his hard-work. On the other hand, everyone has problems these days including myself, wow. I really hope & pray that things between the bestfriend & her family will be good asap, cuz i hate seeing her sad & depressed. I'm also still having problems at the fact that I still don't have a job, like what the hell. Im going job hunting with Eduardo soon & I hope things go well lol. I really hate depending everything on my boyfriend cuz I never really done that before, all my ex's were used to depending on me, not trying to feel nice bout it but it was just always like that. I always feel bad, baby, maybe we should stay home more often so no more spending money lol. I admit my faults, but you know what when I get a job I'll spoil you to death :P, i love you. I just really hate depending on my boyfriends & parents money, I feel like I can support myself & stop loafting on this. I'm also still mad at the fact that I havent been in church in forever, I really should go next week. But whatevsss I'm done with this ..


& OMGAAH, I hate the new facebook.


-dee

Uh havent updated for like 2 days now, I'm bored & got nothing better to do so why not update. Hmm Friday was cute, me & my little brother stayed home just because we're too lazy. Ugly came over early, I was still literally sleeping on my bed when he came over. Slept on his arms for awhile and had some 'PEACE' lol. Decided to wake up and make breakfast, well he mad breakfast cuz I can't really cook lol, thanks for that baby. My brother enjoyed that food aha cuz not often someone does that. After breakfast & things, them being boys again started playing PS3, for like the whole day while I was getting ready. Waited for mom to come home, ate pizza, & left my house. Like always, nothing better to do on a Friday night than a movie, we watched Last House On The Left, pretty interesting movie I must say, better than frikking WATCHMEN. Baby felt for soup afterward so we decided to go eat some pho before calling it a night. Saturday, slept in big time so I could get energy for the night. Too bad Jack Darling was flop with the friends it could've been nice to just chill at the park on a lovely day. I decided that I was just gunn stay home and get ready & miss my brothers game, baby came over until we found out what to do lol. Decided to go watch Mall Cop at the Drive-in at Oakville, new experience always fun =] except for the part where his car that was recently cleaned was all muddy, well at least the tires, poor car. But still thank you for cleaning your car especially the inside of it =], now its not dusty anymore & you wont hear me nagging you to clean it anymore =] lol. Anyways Mall Cop was pretty funny. So we decided to go bowling after OMG & here's the part where I have to boost, I BEAT HIM! what what, I never been this good in bowling lol. Then after one game he beat me all the way lol that perv! But whatever at least I'm getting better at it. So I was tired from bowling, this fag decided to go to Markham to eat at some restaurant called Destiny, I decided to nap on our way there, we got there and all i hear was 'DAMN IT, ITS ON RENOVATION' fuck your life lol, he looked like a grumpy old man complaining about how hungry he was but it was cute. Decided to go back to Sauga to eat at Denny's. I really love spending time with you :). OMG I really wanna see my wiifey's hair, she's finally not barbie doll anymore lol. anyways ill update more later ..


P.S.
BABY YOU'RE TOO QUICK
if you catch my drift.
aha.

that's when i love you ..

When you have to look away
When you don't have much to say
That's when I love you
I love you, just that way

To hear you stumble when you speak
Or see you walk with two left feet
That's when I love you
I love you, endlessly

And when your mad cuz you lost a game
Forget Im waiting in the rain
Baby i love you,
I love you anyway

Here's my promise made tonight
You can count "on" me for life
That's when I love you
When nothing you do can change my mind
The more I learn, The more I love
The more my heart cant get enough

I love you no matter what
So when you turn to hide your eyes
Cause the movie it made you cry
That's when I love you
I love you a little more each time
And when you cant quite match your clothes
Or when you laugh at your own jokes

And when you forget that we had a date
Or when I look at you cute when you show up late
Baby I love you, I love you anyway..

morality.

Religion was still boring as usual but at the same time quite interesting, we haven't had a discussion in awhile, but ughh I really have to get a hang of not falling asleep in class when the teacher talks I was literally the only one that was sleeping in class today lol. We talked bout the 6 Steps of moral development;

Reward & Punishment: This is a part when people do what's right & wrong, it might be called criminal mentality by some. It's like having the mentality of 'i can get away with it, it's alright' kind of thing. For example; It's okay to have sex as long as I don't get pregnant - or as for guys don't think that they will get caught or responsible for fathering someone's child, It's okay to cheat as long as you don't get caught.
Me First: A selfish basis of moral decision making. Put it in a way for example, It's okay for them to break someone's heart as long as theirs is not broken. It's kind of the reverse of the GOLDEN RULE huh?
Pleasing Others: This is sort of like doing the right or wrong things that somebody else approves of. Put it in a peer pressure category. One example is when a person wants to be like by everybody, he/she will do anything to please them.

The next three steps we're gunn talk bout tomorrow. That topic made me really think of the REAL thing, what's real & what's not. Or even what's really right & wrong. But whatever sooner or later my mind will be clear of all these things, perhaps when I go out in the REAL world. Anyways I'm really sad that Klaudine won't be able to come to Sandbanks with us, speaking of that I gotta remind James of that lol. & I'm really happy that bestfriend finally got a blogspot, I hope it really helps her with the venting issue. OMG OMG OMG I got my immunization shots today, holy why am I so terrified of needles someone please tell me. While at the clinic my mom, brother, & I were having a conversation bout who else RAY. LOL, I mean I'm glad that they love my boyfriend, but hey don't get in our business, & I know that my dad is just looking out for me but like what you asked me before if you could trust him, YES YOU CAN. Watch guys we'll prove you guys wrong. Anyways YAY tomorrow is Thursday that means LAST DAY OF SCHOOL, since I'm not going on friday & mother doesn't have a say lol. YAY seeing my boyfriend, & WE'RE CLEANING HIS CAR! & i know you're reading this baby, yup that's right we are cleaning you're car OKAY?DEAL lol. If we clean it you can get your KILLZONE 2 & RESIDENT EVIL OR WII .. DEAL? lol. Anyways can't wait till the weekend, i really mister 'SAYS' over there =P. I made a memory box today : ) ITS AWEEESOME!


SHIT MAN I NEED A JOB. baby my resume please ! & THANK YOU : ) i owe you
but actually no I don't cuz you're finishing school by april, which means URGH id still have 2 or 3 months left? urghhh.

btw HAPPY 8 MONTH to my wiifey Athina & my kuya James !
I love you both !!

- dee

So updates, he finally called.. Mommy's boy is with his mommy at the grocery store lol. But anyways I wanna dedicate this update to Klaudine my love lol. You know you likes whats happening.. No more shyness between you know who & you . AHA, I love how I like teasing you in front of you know who, and you know who doesn't have a clue about it ahaha .. And bout 'TREEPAL' date ahaha ;) yknow yknow, james&athina ray&me you&youknowho. AHAH, pleasse don't kill me or do that thing that annoys me .. ITS REALLY ANNOYING. it's the kind of thing like when you scratch your nails on the board aha.. I LOVE YOU = ]

anyways I was talking to my long time girl Kristina or as I call her Kissa, I miss that girl, I remember the old times when we would chill every frikking day she would always come down from brampton, ROYALFAM. lol, speaking of that where's everyone nowadays? & congrats to our girl Grishka for having her baby like two days ago., I also remember she would always sleep over at my house lol and she always twitches at night LMAO i find it so funny. & COLLINGWOOD, when we would sneak cigarettes and shit lol eheh goodtimes.. & Hopefully our plan on watching He's just not that into you on tuesday will happen, I REAAAAALLLLLY MISS HER. we go way back

Anyways, boyfriend you keep teasing me i hate you =] you're lucky i love you lol. FRIDAY SATURDAY & parhaps SUNDAY & MONDAY :) , 'they don't know bout us' ahah haters.

Got to first & the teacher didn't show up til like iono 9:45, so Mr. Thomasovick put this movie called Bella for us while waiting for the teacher. Mr. Reyes came and had to ruin the movie for us to talk bout Cathesism things, & tried relating the creation of Adam & Eve to Lord of The Rings. It was a pretty boring class cuz all I could think of was the weekend, I really miss my boyfriend. So I decided to day dream, & it led off to sleeping in class, hey sleeping in class is better than not being there everyday so whatever. Anyways speaking of that guy, I don't know where he is, I asked him to call me after school, since he usually does but he didn't surprisingly it's 7:10 and he's no where to be found. Perhaps out with someone else.. hmm? Sleeping? Napping? If he is he better not be falling asleep on me tonight, cuz if he does clearly he wasn't napping. He better have some good excuses. Urgh I'm so paranoid nowadays, well you I have every right to. I know I'm malicious sometimes as well but you can't blame that on me either. I'm just watching out for myself. I'm selfish when it comes to things that makes me happy. But whatever, I have eyes everywhere so I know exactly what goes on even if no one let me knows. Anyways nough of that, I'm just kinda cheesed again. Anyways back to my daily thing. During 3rd & 4th period we had a presentation from a girl named Wendy from Peel Health. She educated us about sanitation and all that crap. It was a pretty interesting presentation just because nowadays no one is educated when it comes to tattoo's & body piercing. The pictures she showed us were very inappropriate and gross. There's so much we need to know & research before getting piercings or tats or whatever. She also told us about a case that just happened like previously, I actually saw it on the news this morning. Basically that tattoo parlour might have been exposed to HIV, Hepatitis B & C. So everyone that got a tattoo or a piercing from 5 years from this year got a call and advice to get a test. I know enough people that got a call, it's kinda scary. OMG, i need a frikking client to do for tomorrow's class shit my life. I'm such a loafter. Hopefully James booked the Sandbanks thing already whatta loafter and a half. Speaking of that, everyone saw my Summer To Do list & decided to do a March Break To Do List right below it lol. One of then is Niagara, shore buddies .. For all I know it's gunn be loaft again lol. I don't know if I'm down for paintballing, like i mean that shit hurts man. Photoshoot I'm so down. & mmhm I just want the weekend to come, well at least Thursday, no one is reaching school on Friday so yaaaah .. whatevs i'm done




-dee

The fact that you ain't doing shit bout it makes me really really upset. If you're not gunn do it, & chose her side then I'll do something bout it. It's fucked up. You just don't care like it doesn't matter to you. URGHHHH whatever I don't wanna fight so I decided to vent my feelings here. It just really upsets me about how you 'care' SO MUCH.

=(

i know i'm too selfish..

So like I cut my hair !! AAAH, no more long hair =( I literally like cut off half of it gawsh. I wonder why people in my house are so like not in the mood, it makes me not be in the mood either, but whatever I make myself happy lol. So like someone doesn't love me anymore *rolls eyes* he said he was gunn call before ball practice but NOOOO, where's his call? I think down the toilet lol joking. I think it's cuz I made a joke that I forgot about second month lol. Its okay, I got him back from all the time he teases me and I just wanna pinch his cheeks or punch him playfully =P. But ya he's not seeing me that day clearly cuz he's going to watch the bulls game, I believe with his family, or someone else? lol joking. I'm sad cuz I wont be able to see him tomorrow =( so I have to wait longer til Friday =]. We get alone time yay. & yay he called wow I guess I was wrong bout the toilet thing =P. So I just got off the phone with him, & wow PISS OFF, girls really need to close their legs nowadays. Like leave my fucking boyfriend alone, get it straight he has a girlfriend, & he's not interested. FUCK YOU! k whatevs i'm done with this..

shut your freaking gob.

um so Saturday which was yesterday, was pretty WHACK at the beginning but ended up to be GOOD BETTER BEST towards the end =]. Seriously I hate girls, no offense but sometimes they just need to calm down and shut their freaking gob. I admit I have a bad past & so what? People change things change .. So if you're gunn bring up the past, make sure you know the person well enough to start running your mouth. Before you start pointing fingers make sure your hands are clean. My past made me what I am now, and guess what bitch.. whatever you say doesn't affect me, it also didn't affect me & my boyfriends relationship, well maybe a tad bit but hey guess what you failed. Whatever your trying to do didn't happen, it only made us stronger. I know, i know, you tried but better luck next time. Karma will hit you, & I can say this because karma hit me with I have done before, & it made me learn whats right & wrong. Telling other people you're happy for them & contradicting yourself by saying shit bout the other person doesn't make sense, like how you don't make sense. Is that the way of revenge towards me? Don't get me wrong I don't know you, & for me to have this awfull feeling towards you wow you must have done something that got me back, I hope you're happy. But keep in mind, you only got me for a few minutes there. Isn't it funny that day-by-day things change, & when you look back everything is different? Guess what, I'm different now, I payed enough for my old habits & actions.. I'm ready to be serious with life & things because for the first time I'm fucking content, & no one can take that away from me, not even YOU.

Anyways enough venting lol. As Saturday went on, there was tears, laughter & joy, it was like a mixed emotion day. At the end of the day the result was L-O-V-E. Boyfriend came over round 11ish? and started playing PS3 with my brother, jeez you're such a boy. They played until like 5. So whatever I got ready & stuff, then came down for lunch & the most awkward-est thing lol, boyfriend sitting at the dinner table with the whole family, & actually being comfortable. I just love it. So after the day at my house time to go out, even though the weather was a downer. We all went to go to dad's game, geez man they didn't have enough sub players AGAIN, but hey hands down to their team because they actually kept up with the other team having like 4 other extra players. The game went on & there was frikking 2 over-times, like whatever it got boring after awhile. The game finished round 8. Boyfriend & I decided to watch watchmen, HOLY SHIT that movie was seriously the longest movie I've watched in awhile, it started round 10 and finished at like 1. Ugly kept falling asleep, I like pinching his nose when he falls asleep lol. After the movie chilled with him for a bit then went home =]. I think yesterday was a really big big big argument but I also think it made us stronger and value each other more. I know its just one of God's way to challenge the both of us. Me & you are better than all the things we've been through I know it. The things we talked bout last night really made me realize that there are a lot of challenges on the way & also things/people that will try to ruin this, but it's really up to me & you to get through them. I love you ugly.

Anyways today was a loaft day, I'm really tired because of the fact that I got an hour less of sleep, but it's okay it means summer is coming soon, & I'm too excited =) & I know ugly is excited too, he was making me make a list of what we're gunn do for the summer, & I know it's going to be FUN FUN FUN. I literally did homework the whole day today, while talking to the boyfriend. I'm supposed to be calling him back like right now but I decided to update this first, and I bet he's gunn say "so who were you talking to?" or "what were you doing?" lol. But here I am trynna update this, aha I love that ugly = ] ..

FIVE MORE DAYS TIL MARCH BREAK .. aaah


- dee <3

LOVESICK.

Kay so I officially hate this Friday, I went to school wow straight 5 days of school isn't that bad lol. I came to first, we watched a movie called Pay It Forward, I literally watched that movie like 4587647 times already. But it's a good movie though so whatevs. Holy the person that sits beside me (no names mentioned) STINKS! holyyy deodorant please, which I think led me to almost fainting in 4th period, I literally almost fainted in class. I was doing Nicole Guerrerro's hair and all of a sudden, my vision was blurry I was feeling dizzy and I was sweating like there's no tomorrow. All I heard was Charmayne saying 'dee you look so pale'. The next thing I remember was I was sitting on Joanna's chair feeling like I was gone, totally gone, I couldn't even hear the people around me. Natalie came to the rescue & gave me ginger-ale, thanks Natalie, you're the best! Either ways I had to force myself up to finish Nicole's hair, thanks to my friends for helping me finish it, there was literally like 3 people working on one head lol. I signed out before 5th, and had to force myself to walk home alone praying to God that I'll get home safely, and luckily I did =]. I came home and my mom called me asking me what exactly was I feeling etc. Asking me if I have my period, well I don't. So she came to a stupid conclusion "ARE YOU PREGNANT?" okay NO. NEVER. I'm not ready for that just yet, I have more goals before I can become pregnant & have a baby lol. I need to finish school first. But anyways enough of that, I feel better now I guess. I feel so sad though. This is like the first friday I won't see the boyfriend, both our weeks are very hectic school, work, gym, basketball etc. I totally understand, lol speaking of the boyfriend my mom just asked me why he didn't see Ray for the whole week, and I told her that we're both busy but not to worry cuz she's gunn see him tomorrow =). Anyways yes back to that I can't wait to see him tomorrow, it's his sister's birthday today that's why he can't see me & ya I understand cuz Family comes first for sure. I just miss him, maybe that's why I almost fainted, I'm LOVESICK lol. Hopefully Athina comes over and keeps me company *cross fingers*


PS. "putang ina, nareject ako"
LMAO klaudine isn't that so funny, & ironic what I told you from the start ? I knew it anyways.. MARCHHH BREAK IN A WEEEEEEEEEEEK. WHAT WHAT WHAT ? i'm too excited.



with love...

-dee

I decided to be extra good girl this week and decided to reach class, OMG the most boring 3 hours of my life is religion class. And what pissed me off even more is he made a sitting arrangement, he literally put me in front of him, right beside MARWAN. Like wtf, ew gosh. Not trying to be mean or offensive but omg out of all the people you can put me beside, WHY MARWAN? geez, now the rest of my semester in that class is gunn be hell, but whatever we'll see how it goes. By the end of first I was frikking starving like sheesh, lunch wasn't gunn be long either so downer. Third & fourth, I swear my something is wrong with the teacher lately, she's such a bitch & i like rushed my up-do just because i wanna finish it, & it looks like crap, maybe i should re-do it again lol. Anyways I got home today and I was reading Klaudine's note and I should put some in here cuz it really inspired me for some reason.

1) "If you don't love someone, don't show motive for them to love you even more"
2) "Don't let go of something if you can't see someone else holding it"
3) "Don't hold on to something if you know you'll let go of it"
4) "Don't hold something else if you're hands are full"
5) "It's like an elevator, why would you shove yourself in something that is full, when there's fully stairs waiting for you"
6) "If you're not happy with someone, break up with them, why would you wanna be with someone that doesn't make you happy"
7) "If the person you love doesn't love you back, don't complain, i'm sure there's people you did the same thing to."
8) "If you love two people, choose the second one, because there's no way you can love a second one if you loved number one"
9) "Do you know the space between people that are facing each others back?You gotta go all around the world to be able to face someone you once turned your back to"
10) "Not all the things that you understand are real, and not all the thing that you don't understand are lies"
11) "Love is like a ditch, its scary to fall, but if you fall its either by accident or you're just really dumb."
-
I frikking translated all of those geez lol, they were all written in tagalog, there was 19 of them but i really don't understand the other 8. But ya I tried I hope they make sense lol.
+

On the other hand, we've been fighting lately. & i think we only fight for the fun of it, just because kind of thing. I know you know it too, I think it's because we haven't seen each other in awhile. We're better than this & we both know it. I was told to never look back & I'm sorry that sometimes I do, it is sometimes my fault that the past keeps coming up, especially yours. So we really have to have a talk about letting go of the past, I know that it takes time but this time can we make it freal? I'll help you, as long as you're willing to give me the help I need as well. I really wanna be the girl that you will be proud of while saying "damn, she's the one." I wanna be the girl that changes you for the better, and the girl that you are willing to change for. I also want you to be that someone that I won't give up on, so far I'm successful about that. Letting go of the past is one thing, but I always learned not to forget just because I know that there were great things that can be learned from what we've both been through. I love you, & as of now its you, just YOU no one else, I know that you doubt me sometimes but please don't.The future may freak us out, but it will come either way. The past may give us mixed emotions, but it will stay with us no matter what. It is possible to forgive, to regret, to remember and even to forget, but it is impossible to lose the entire truth. I know for a fact that you are it, im ready to setlle. Some might say it's too early to say, but do i care about what they say? NO. because what matters most is that im happy with you. I love you, & I swear to god if you hurt me, i'll leave. Like what I always say, we know what's right & what's wrong & i know that you know we both need improvement. This is not the end yet, it's just the beginning. We'll get there baby..




- dee

Hmm anyways, whatta nice day outside. Hopefully the weather stays like this omg it's like nice but I want it to be warmer. So grad assembly was today and that was boring, and some next stinky guy was sitting beside Klaudine like he seriously stank. Im sorry but I expect that people know that thing called deodorant. Anyways shit no really, I really need a job, I have to pay like 180 for grad fees shoot me. But whatever I just can't wait til that day. But OMG MY GRAD PIC IS THE NASTIEST AND THE UGLIEST, i looked like shit, i was sick like a cow when i took it, as in i literally forced my self to get up and go to school for 5 minutes to take my grad pic. ITS SO NARSTY. Anyways, uh today was a so-so day lunch was funny, C to the DOME. AHA. So my mommy couldn't pick my lazy ass up after school so I decided I was gunn walk home with James, Ryan, Ero, Jizelle & Lester. The boys decided to run ball with these two brown guys lol. Geez man those two got killed. But whatevs, then they came over for a bit & ya .. SO question is ...... SHOULD I GO TO SCHOOL TOMORROW? hmmmm we'll see lol. But ya I miss Ray, yesterday & today made me realize a bit of things. Maybe it's just me but am I getting paranoid everyday? I haven't felt this feeling for anyone at all, I swear. I was never this clingy or anything to someone. I guess I just really care bout him a lot. He makes me happy, & I hope that he's satisfied with me. We have too much plans for the future.

some pictures from today :

so many assume, so little know.

Tell me why it feels like a frikking wednesday? Gees, is it just me or am I that excited for this weekend? hmm. So I woke up today, doing my morning routine. I was in the shower with so much things running through my mind. I can't quite understand why I deserved all of these things that's happening to me. Am I a bad person, am I that horrible? ugh I just hate it. But anyways my classes went by really quick, I'm happy at the fact that I finished 2 haircuts today, THANK YOU LORD. Im not behind anymore, one more haircut & one up-do to go oh shit and facial. Then I have to do everything on clients again. EFF MY LIFE. Im kind of cheesed though, my teacher cut my mannequin's hair too short, geez. So as I was saying, weekend? What's poppin this weekend? um I think just the usuals, I think im gunn bring Ray to Jizelle's jam, but I gotta confirm that still. Tomorrow is our Grad assembly, geez what are they gunn talk about, I hate boring-ness but i'd rather be in there than being in class falling asleep when the teacher keeps on talking & talking. BOYFRIEND, i miss you, as usual. It feels so good to know that you're always by my side supporting me with everything no matter what when life is hard, Thank you soooo much. Anywayssss. I think im done, i dont even make sense anymore, i just like woke up like honestly.



- DEE.

reminisce ..

Uh whatta crappy monday, but hey I'll dedicate this post to Lauren Romano.. I know we've been going through a lot, i mean A LOT & i can't muster up all the feelings i have about this. But just know that I won't hold grudges or anything against this. I guess things happen for a reason no matter how much i tried or we both tried its still not happening. Maybe because we're both not making an effort? or just i dont know. But you know what hey, you're happy, i'm happy. we're good right? But ya .. HAPPY ONE YEAR best friend. I LOVE YOU ..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIZELLE :)

I love you, I hope you have a great one.. You really do deserve it : )

on the other hand, thank you God for everything that you have given me up to this day. I really appreciatte it.

Boyfriend, I MISS YOU! =[ please edit my resume soon lol, i need a job like RIGHT NOW :(

On the other hand, hopefully Klaudine's foot gets better. I feel bad that she can't even put on her sneakers properly .. :( lol.

But ya I really hate not getting my things done for school, especially now that Im in grade 12, thank God for the boyfriend keeping me at school. But ya I didnt go thursday or friday so today i really had to catch up, but major failure because i havent gotten my cosmo things done, i have 3 more hair cuts to do and an up-do, LORD HELP ME.


- dee

one month weekend.

Friday:

Stayed home, didnt feel like going to school

Slept for the whole day

Boyfriend came over for the night

Went out to get pizza

Went home & just chill

Finish Quarantine, lol at carlo getting scared

Saturday:

Slept in

Met up with boyfriend at PHYBA

Watched brother's game

Went to AMC with boyfriend to watch Streetfighter, pretty sick movie

Went to playdium to play, omg i hate basketball lol.

Chilled with boyfriend for a bit more

Came home

Sunday:

Slept in again

Boyfriend came over round 3ish after his game

Went out to buy brother food

Chilled

HAPPY ONE MONTH BABY

this month was awesome, so many ups & downs but we still made it through everything. Too many inside jokes lol, "SAYS" "CASE" "it's not new asshole" LOL. Too many memories, meeting a bunch of my family and them saying how you look like my Aunt's ex lol. Crying to you when I had problems. Valentines day was the best, thanks for the great day at Niagara. Your annoying-ness is too cute baby. Thanks for the things you gave me last night : ) I love them as you can see lol. I know we had arguments, but i seriously think that it brought our relationship to another level. Im looking forward to the next months ;), I LOVE YOU

- dee

MAN UP TO YOUR FUCKING PROMISES. You always fucking tell me that I'm doing shit behind your back when clearly you don't have proof. Snooping round my facebook and seeing other guys saying whats up isnt a proof. Why? Can't I talk to other guys? you're too malicious. I fucking gave you everything, MY EVERYTHING. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN MY LIFE, SOMETHING THAT MADE ME ME. & now I lost that, because I love you. All you think bout is the way you look, or what other people will think of you. Okay ya I understand you have an unpleasant past, but don't I? I became your girlfriend, because I love you for who you are, I accept every flaw, every imperfection. This ain't elementary anymore my love, you even sad you were going to man up. How did you prove that? BY LEAVING ME? THANKS A LOT. For all I know, you prolly think that I'm doing shit behind your back, because youre doing it to me, ALL the shit I heard bout you I fucking ignored, just remember that. & also remember, IM NOT YOU so don't compare me to you, cuz I know how it feels like to get played & used.. Like what you said KARMA WILL DO ITS JOB.

sometimes you have to test someone,
not because you don’t trust them,
but to see how much they’ll sacrifice for you..
and sometimes you have to let them go,
not because you suddenly stopped caring for them,
but to see if they care enough to come back

.. & clearly you don't give two fucks bout this relationship

uh, my blogspot really helps me to vent out things that I feel inside. I stayed home today, again lol oh well its whatever school sucks anyways. I woke up round 6, went back to sleep and woke up just maybe 5 minutes ago cuz i got a call from James, but I didn't pick up, just cuz i never pick up anyone's phone calls, he was prolly gunn tell me to go to school like always.

on the other hand, I'm very pissed. I just hate the way you think so bad of me when I tell you what I think. Sorry that I care about your health, I don't want no scrony ass boyfriend. You ask me, and i tell you that you look 'NORMAL' I never said CHUBBY, so next time clean your ears thank you. When you ask me something and I tell you what I think, PLEASE don't give me attitude, because that is my opinion. And clearly my opinion wasn't wanted to be heard. Is it my fault that I think like that of you? You always get sick, going to the hospital, fainting, whatever.. yet you're like 'I WONT EAT' you think that will make me happy? you think that will make you healthier? Think again, because not only you're ruining your health you're also putting your mind state not to be FAT. when clearly, YOU'RE NOT. So if you're going to have problems when I say I dont like when you don't eat, then don't ask me for my opinion. Like my bad that I care, SHIT .. SERIOUSLY, who the fuck would argue over their partner's weight. ITS WHACK, and don't get offended, cuz I know you will. I just won't talk so you can do whatever you want with your body. After all, it's not my body, it's still yours. And also understand that I'm doing the not talking part and letting you do whatever, because I FUCKING LOVE YOU, i want you to be happy. If it makes you happy even if it hurts me inside then go ahead.

Anyways.. uh hopefully this weekend would be good. I really don't want no fights or whatever, I hate it because now I always choose to stay quiet and not argue anymore just because I was told that i was a total BITCH or totally rude when we argue, and now its making me think that maybe sometimes I should start doing it again.

BUT WHATEVSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS .. peace out



- dee

So today, decided to stay home : ) I tried watching Benjamin Button but uh I fell asleep while waiting for the boyfriend to finish his midterm exam. Stayed home for the whole day, I really thought that i needed this day, i just need a break from everything freal. I seriously thought that I wasn't gunn see Ray today, but uh I get what I want : ) lol. joking. He ended up coming round 5ish, waking me up from my nap lol. Spent a little time with him before his appointment with his barber. I gave him his air freshener for his car, and God knows when he's gunn clean it. So I decided to bug him about that, and he finally said 'okay lets go to the car wash' lol geez took him long enough, but that was fun being under that tunnel with all these soap & brushes & etc. Kinda reminded me of the first time we chilled, we cleaned his car lol memories. So then after that he popped a question saying "what would you do if ..."(he's the only one that knows) and it brought back things from the past, that what if he actually does it, what if what if what if.. I love this person too much to even think about that on my side. But yah hopefully he doesn't, cross finger, i trust him with everything. So yah, that's it .. EAZY PHEAZY LEMON GREEZY ..




- dee

why is this happening to me.

Venting out my feelings here would probably be helpful with my situation right now. Everything seems to go wrong, seriously, I think that everything for me right now is just going the other way. Hopefully it will find its way to the right path soon. Today, my parents sat me down and talked to me about my debut, I told them I didn't want it anymore because I don't wanna stress, I don't want them spending money, I don't want any arguments, etc. So she told me just to go to Cali with her, but I didn't want to, just because i didn't want to see certain people. UHH and the argument went on & on, until I told her everything that's happening to me nowadays. I'm glad that she understands me. I love my mom. & also my dad.

why do you have to be so cold to me? why is it that I feel you hate the living shit out of me? what did i ever do to you? but fuck it, it doesn't matter no more. i don't wanna live in someone's life if im just an option.

on the other hand, i miss my boyfriend. too bad he cant skip tomorrow, it would be really nice if I spend time with him tomorrow. I'm still debating if I should go to school or stay home and go job hunting. HHHMMMMM?? ..

anyways so today is ash wednesday, i think i still have the ash thingy majigy on my forehead. Before falling asleep of that music they put over the p.a. I had to write what im going to do during Lent. I decided to give up 5 things :

1) To be nice to people that I don't usually get along with.
2) To fast from junk food ( especially coke,pepsi,or whatever )
3) To try not to go out as much, & spend time with my family
4) To try to make my life better
5) Less bad behaviour ( gossip, hating, bitching, etc. )

Hopefully I do these for 40 days .. HOPEFULLLLLLLLLLLLLY.



- dee

Today was really bummy, once again, i fell asleep in cosmo class while watching how to give a fade lol. I miss my boyfriend, & thank God he's feeling better. On the other hand everything else feels so crappy nowadays. LOL I keep losing our game of president forreal. I lost like 289647 times today, I was always the 'ass'. While playing, I had so much things in my mind, the thought 'I JUST LOST MY BEST FRIEND', I finally came to a realization that being best friends is just not the way it will be from now on.. Like what Klaudine said, it can't just always be only one person working, its not a one-way thing, its two way.. I accept the fact that she doesn't give two shits about it, but I've tried to work things out no matter what, yet again things are just not the same anymore. I hate the fact that I sometimes can't quit figure what I'm going to do without you. But you know what I'm happy for you, the fact that you got all you need, and I'm not one of them. It's okay, you're right at the end, you got no one but yourself. But just know that sometimes, being best friends isn't always about focusing about each other, it doesn't mean we always have to be together, or write notes to each other, or etc. It's about knowing the fact that no matter what we are best friends, we can complete each others sentences, not judging each other, or whatever. But like what I told you, you will always be that best friend of mine. I'm happy that I got others to keep me up when it comes to these situations, & I thank them, cuz they've been there from the start, til now. They know who they are. On the other hand, DORA & DIEGO aren't going well. I need another B1;B2;DORA;DIEGO get away lol. AAAAH, i can't wait til summer.

"sometimes you have to be
strong for yourself. you have
to know that you're a good
person and a good friend.
what’s meant to be will end
up good and what's not - won’t.
love is worth fighting for, but
sometimes you can't be the
only one fighting. at times,
people need to fight for you.
if they don't, you just have
to move on and realize what
you gave them was more
than they were willing to
give you. hopefully, people
realize great things when
they come around. and don't
lose something real. always fight,
until you can't anymore,
and then be fought for."

LOSE ONE..GAIN MORE

- ♥ dee

DOWN effin UUURRR.

Feeling so groggy seriously, today I finally got to take home my mannequin, stupid james, ryan & ero was playing with it SEXUALLY lol. I had a pretty chill school day, didn't get in trouble or anything. Had my nap, actually just woke up from it, thanks babe for waking me up. But the downer is I have to frikking type my project, well that's what i'm supposed to be doing right now but uhh whatever i'll do it after. I really miss my TNA bag, wow i've had that purse/bag whatever you call it since forever.. It was such a convenient bag, it gave up on me cuz someone kept pulling it *cough* james lol, and how heavy my books were, but seriously i could put everything in there, i really hate using my other purses or my jansport at school lol. oh wells, new tna baby coming .. as soon as i get money, OMG why Lord? why can't i get a mother effin job? Am I really that bad with money that you don't wanna give me a job anymore? Like I'm sorry lol. But cross fingers i get it as soon as possible, so I won't get complaints from my mom anymore telling me how I fucked up & all that. & I feel really bad cuz i haven't even gotten Ray his birthday present yet, I feel like I'm leaving off of him, whenever we're out. I'm not used to being treated everytime, that's why sometimes I feel like uhh shit. I love him too much to not go out with him, at the same time. Hopefully my dad's knee gets UNtwisted lol, i feel really bad for him. & I hope that boyfriend will also feel better. Please LORD! i really feel sad when my loved ones are sick. I know I always both of them saying, 'are you okay?' or 'are you feeling better?'. It's cuz I really hate it when they're down. anyways, on the other hand.. KLAUDINE! those letters, omg made me realize even more that we go way fuckin back, my writing was so ugly lmao .. I won't go into details but yes...






- dee

glow in the dark

So glow in the dark is stuck in my head lol. Yesterday was pretty chill, watched my brother's game against MYBA i believe along with Ray & Kuya James. They lost by like 5 points? GAY lol. After the game, it was snowing really hard and I wanted to be a kid and play with some snow but no lol. Me & Ray left my mom, brother, & James and continued our night by watching Fired Up, pretty sick movie lol it was funny. Though I wanted to watch He's Just Not That Into You, but it was a chick flick I didn't want my sick boyfriend to be bored. Speaking of that hopefully he gets better soon, I feel really bad whenever my loved ones are sick or are down. Hopefully I don't get sick too. Anyways today was a cool day too, watched my dad's ball game against the MYAA Jaguars, it was a pretty sick game, they could have won that but whatever. Anyways, today was my first time actually watching my dad's team & i'm not gunn lie I underestimated them a little. After the game, me & Ray got food, and went to my house just chilling.. Babe, we really beat the record, I saw you everyday except friday lol. Please feel better ugly.. I finally finished my passport to safety quiz, meaning im gunn get my certificate soon. yay :) anyways im gone, whatevs. GUUUUURRRRRRRRRR


- dee

HELLO KITTTTTY.

OMG, MAC HELLO KITTY COLLECTION IS LOVE ..
I WAAAAAANT IT !

bad day

Today is such a crappy day for me. Even thought yesterday was good, LOL .."you're a ISPECIAL GERL." "OMG I HAB SO MANY WINDSOR, OH NO NVM THEYRE COLD SORES" lol. only klaudine knows =P GUUUURRRR. & I also saw the boyfriend, wow three days in a row.. I really appreciate the part of me & him making up for his time away at Blue Mountain. Too bad i don't think I'll be seeing him tonigt just because we're both sick. Not of each other lol but ya i feel sick, & so does he.. I don't want his germs, gross lol LIKE HONESTLYYYY. =P. wow even if i feel crappy im still trynna be funny, gurrr. but anyways today is just crappy period, and i don't wanna go into details because i don't want to feel even crappier. Hopefully i see ray on the weekend, please LORD. Anyways, hopefully summer comes soon, i just really hate this cold air. but whatever .........

everything happens for a reason.

So, I decided not to go to school today, I was very lazy. Good thing I wasn't going to miss anything at school anyways. This day is a very special day just because, only two people know & I can't expose. But anyways moving on.. so Ray decided to come over cuz he didn't have school or work. We just chilled at my house & slept & eat & such. Watched Quarantine, some fckd up movie freal. But anyways decided to go out round 1ish, got some bubble tea, & Ray brought me to 'MIDGET LAND'. I never knew that there's such a thing lol. Not even boosting, i didn't believe ray at first but when he showed me, there was like a whole complex of houses for little people. Even the frikking volleyball court was little, it's like a village just for them. Pretty cool, but really trippy. If you guys don't believe me, ask me to bring you there lol. But anyways, for some reason, I fell asleep in the car til like 3 ish after driving around. Then I decided to go home, & took a little nap.

*best friend: i love you.. please don't ever think that you have been replaced, because you haven't. just please understand my situation. this means a lot to me.


NTS: CIVIES DAY TMRW, fck my life. NOTHING TO WEAR *boo




- dee

so i couldn't really post an update for yesterday which was the 16th, RAY'S BIRTHDAY :).. I just wanna let you know that I missed you yesterday & sunday. It was a big torture for me, it was your birthday and i couldn't even spend it with you. It actually proved to me that this thing is so scary, what if you actually go away for weeks, what the hell am i supposed to do huh? lol I know i told you not to read this, but i know you will anyways =P.. You deserve everything you worked hard for until this day babe. I will be looking forward to being with you for the next birthdays of your life. I LOVE YOU & HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

Anyways today, tuesday, downer because i needed to wake up early to go to school. But its good just because its a short week, its already Wednesday tomorrow, thank you Lord. Anyways, um classes went by really fast today, presentation during cosmo class went by okay, i thought i was gunn fuck it up but it was good lol. And I was really happy that i got to see the boyfriend today, he came home from school early, I hope this happens more often just because he's a busy guy & i don't really get to see him during the weekdays when im all cranky after school lol. But it was good, played ps3, i scored 48 points? pretty good for a first timer in basketball :P lol. Kudos to softy for teaching me how to play, i got a hang of it after awhile. Spent time together, and yaa. He left round um 6, to go to the gym, but no someone was too lazy *rolls eyes* anyways, im outieee ..

- dee.

long weekend.

So friday, was supposed to be spending time with boyfriend. but ended up not to cuz of things ..

Saturday - Valentine's Day: so i thought my mother wasn't going to let me go out just because. Then she didn't care anyways. They all left, I got ready while waiting for my boyfriend. He came over for a bit while I was getting ready, like as in someone was scared that my dad would come home, like my dad would care if he's here.. Or just the fact that he took my dads parking? lol. But then `round 130 we left my house thinking of where to go. Our original plan was Niagara, it wasn't supposed to happen but it eventually did. I was scared cuz I thought if I go with him my mom would prolly bitch at me, but that's later on. Oh before that, he gave me a teddy bear, a letter & a necklace. It's too cute, THANKS BABE! So the drive to Niagara was like an hour ish?I was napping so Id save some energy for the day. We got to Niagara round 3:15, found parking, checked the lake, took some pictures etc. So Niagara consisted of first the FX Ride Theatre, it was so sick it was like a 3d thing but that kinda made me dizzy. After was the Ghost Blasters Dark Ride, that was a pretty sick ride, we wore those glasses its like that scooby-doo one at wonderland where you had to shoot things. I KILLED HIM lol :) .. Before deciding to leave the Midway Arcade, we decided to claim our tokens, & buy more.. HOLY we got a lot of tickets, we got like 600+ i also got a toy puppy :) & he got something for him too. After that arcade was Movieland Wax Museum that was like one of the coolest, so much characters made of wax, and at the end there was a scary maze which made me almost piss my pants lol. babe if youre reading this " IM FROM BROOKLYN MOTHAFUCKA " ... "OH THIS IS SOME FREAKY SHIT" lmao. Then we went to the Glow in the dark Mini-Golf, it was pretty sick, i've never been to a glow in the dark one, & i suck BIG TIME. moving on.. second last place we went was Ripley's that one was cool, too much interesting things. LMAO BABE THE FAT LADY!. Then after that was our last stop Niagara SkyWheel, whenever i go to Niagara ive always wanted to go ride on that but Im scared of heights, but whatever it wont kill to try it right? so we go on it was so cool cuz we got to see Niagara area at night, pretty romantic. Except for the fact that we wanted to go back to Toronto, or Vaughn to be specific by 930, 9 frikking 30 lol. and it was like 730 already, just so we wanted to watch friday the 13th at vaughn lol.shoot me. it was like a mission and a half, but on our way back i fell asleep once again, but he like fast & the furious that car, we made it to vaughn by 830. anyways so the movie was over, and who knows what happened next ..
other than that yesterday was good, thank you baby .. <3

know that I'm yours to take ..

Would you take me, despite all of my cracks?
I am far from a saint, you know.
I have scars and I have some issues.
I have walls and I have fences.
I could tell you stories that would make you shudder;
I could whisper secrets that would make you choke.
I can be strange sometimes.
There are days when I just want to give everyone the finger, and never leave my bed.
Yes, I have a great many flaws.
Would you still have me?
I’ve been good and I’ve been horrid.
I can be too honest at times, and there are days when I hold too much back.
And if you should still want me, know that I am yours to take...

SATURDAY: was pretty sick, Klaudine's debut was good. Met a few people. Saw the people i haven't seen in a long time. She deserved her 18th. My first slow dances with my boyfriend were pretty cute, not minding the people around us, goofing around, making him eat my food, etc. After Klaudine's debut, me & ray dropped off athina & james home, then just chilled. I loved it =]

here are some pics


------------------------------------------
Sunday : went to church.
and yesterday, as usual school GAY
Today: um school again. GROSS lol. i cant wait til march break

So yesterday i was just too lazy to post, so now i decided to post before ray comes over. So today, for the first time ever i wasnt late wow first =]. Anyways school passed by pretty quick, & thank god it's friday. Anyways what am i supposed to do. Im already on my pjs and waiting for ray to come over, I dont even know what we're doing. Movies? video games? eat? i dont know.

im too excited for Klaudine's debut. Hopefully it'll be live : )

-

so my boyfriend just left round 11:40ish. he beat my brother in ps3, good job ugly! =]

cirlce

So, today I was late for 5 minutes, thanks to James's mom for the ride to school. At least I didn't have to walk outside in the cold. It was mad cold, seriously I think that the world is going so crazy, frikking global warming. I know that i litter sometimes too but i seriously wish that the earth would go back to normal lol. Anyways I'm trying to recall what i learned in Religion class today lol. Since I was falling asleep in class i can't really remember much, I think we learned about being judgmental about things. Something about we are always judgmental no matter what, we have to make the decision, whether to do the right thing or not to. Either ways we're judging. We go back making decisions all the time just like a circle, never ending. So during lunch, I helped Klaudine to pick some songs for her debut, did my homework, & try sleeping but no too loud lol. Cosmo class was boring for me and Charmayne just because we both forgot our kits at home, and instead of doing our first blow-dry on our mannequin we didn't and had to stay there & do out work, GAY. Chemistry class was very uh should i say boring, I really hate sitting beside that guy. We did some next lab shit, putting raisins in carbonated water lol. Speaking of that, i still have to finish. SHIT lol. I was also supposed to see my 'partner' today for Klaudine's debut, but decided not to. Anyways I really miss Raymund right now, it feels like it's been so long since I saw him on Sunday. I don't know what to get him for his birthday, SO IF YOU'RE READING THIS SOFTY PLEASE TELL ME i don't wanna think lol. Too bad I can't spend your birthday with you, but it's okay, at least I get to spend Valentine's day with you :).. Anyways I'll end it here.



with love,
dee

QUID EST VERITAS?

'QUID EST VERITAS?' or as translated 'WHAT IS TRUTH?'.. Religion class is so interesting, im starting to like it even though it's right during the morning, but whatever i'm getting used to it. So what is truth, my teacher said that sometimes people are too blind to see what is truth, and yes i actually agree with him just because I know for a fact that sometimes I also avoid the truth. Yes, truth hurts. But hurt makes me stronger. What don't kill you makes you stronger right. I just had to brainstorm about what really is TRUTH about me right now, and what really is TRUTH about the world that surrounds me. Is this all truth, or just make-believe? hmm.. On the other hand im stressing, pimples are coming out of my face !! I wanna cry, just because im so stressed. Hopwfully everything turns out fine & worth it in the end.

BTW i forgot to tell you guys that I received an offer for Humber for Business, I was so excited cuz I was waiting for it for such a long time

On the other hand, I SEXXED my first test on Chemistry today, so proud of myself, i didn't even study that much. Hopefully I SEX the next one again lol.

always,
dee

PAY ATTENTION.

The title of this entry is "PAY ATTENTION" just because, that's what I learned in Religion Class today. I was pretty bummy just because it's Monday, and I wasn't really in the mood for school. But everything was good, even though I fell asleep pretty early. I still got to talk to ugly while I was walking to school in the morning. Anyways yes, Religion class, I have a feeling that I'm going to learn a lot from that class, I hope so.. I also hope that I can take them as I walk my struggles through life. 'Pay Attention' was our main lesson, not only to what the lesson for the day was, the things going on around you, but also paying attention in life. You don't wanna be stupid to miss anything that you will regret as you go on. I will try to always remember that lesson. So lunch was pretty sick, Ero got our lunch now too. Third & fourth was still loaft, & fifth it went by okay, we had a diagnostic test, hopefully I did good. Speaking of tests I have another one tomorrow, oh shittt lol. After school I went home with Klaudine, ate, talked, did her hair etc. I love that girl off. Anyways, I bought a dress today, FINALLY. It's not too long, not too short so hopefully boyfriend will approve of it. He better lol. Its royal blue and it's pretty, but I wanna cut it just because =(.. Anyways one word BROKE I wanna cry, I can't live without a job. I feel bad whenever I ask my parents for money just cuz I already give them a lot of headaches with my stubbornness. Hopefully I get a job soon. So tmrw Jed is coming over to help me with my shtuff.

- On the other hand. Girls these days, geez why would you slap someone that got a girlfriend just because you like them & they don't like you back. Like who do you think you are? This is what I don't like, when people hate on something I worked hard for. Like get off my dick, and find someone elses !
.... I'm just scared that I'd lose you to her, if ever your reading this, just to let you know, I LOVE YOU




always,
dee

RAPTORS VS. MAGIC

So, woke up extra early today once again to get ready for the Raps vs. Magic game with Ray. He got to my house, said hi to my parents and we left. Decided to park his car at Kipling Station and subway ourselves to Eatons first since it was still early. Walked around for a bit, he gave me a tour of Ryerson, oh how i would love to go there. Then took me to the underground place, holy I was like lost inside that thing. Got to Union round 11:30, Went to ACC and found our seats. It was so awesome that I get to watch my first live NBA games with my boyfriend. YUP BOYFRIEND =P. Anyways Raptors lost, THEY GOT KILLED. Geez, Magic killed them. Raptors seriously need new BETTER players. But whatever, after the game, we decided to go back to Kipling to get his car and drive to Yorkdale, ate at Rainforest Cafe, OMG babe if you're reading this i hate you. IM TOO FULL. But whatever, Him being such a boy, after eating we like spent an hour at Foot Locker just looking at shoes, trying them on, thinking, & deciding he won't get it. So whatever, we went back to sauga & went to Wal-Mart to buy a ps3 game instead. Then just chilled for a bit. Our talk made it seem like this is a new chapter of my life. New challenge, new experiences, etc.

♥
dee