AAH, college stuff.. I gotta pay so much, I'm poor, I don't want my parents paying everything, blah blah blah.. So much responsibilities to accomplish yet so little time. Good thing is I'm seeing the boyfriend today, that's the only good thing in my life. Better than nothing. I still thank God that he's helping me through every step of the way. I also want the rain to GO AWAY, little RAY wants to play :) lol. Since I know my boyfriend misses basketball already but not me, lol kidding, i love you. And please print my OSAP application things! fuck my life :(. I just can't wait til next weekend, I need to get away from all the stress that's bugging me right now.

But whatever, I should be off to doing something productive like cleaning before I go see the boyfriend :).

- DEE

ew, omg i just realized it said BLOGPOT on the top which makes me look really dumb ahah. well i am sometimes :) but whatever. We had our grade 12 retreat today, thank God it didn't rain, Me & Jamila we're praying pretty hard aha. The guy from that guest band we had were awesome especially the drummer guy lol. I haven't gotten sick of their songs & their faces even though I've seen them during grade 9 retreat, when I was a leader for this year's grade 9's and my grade 12 retreat. We won all the games we played :). But ya after everything I was exhausted like a bitch. I asked my dad to pick me up from school cuz I really NEEDED a nap. The nap that I took was noiceee, until my mom had to come in my room to look for my blow-drier, honestly we have two & she loves using my stuff. Whatever I guess I owe her anyways from losing the 300$ bracelet that she gave me =( lol plus dropping her coach bracelet & broke it unfortunately, but whatever she gave the matching necklace back which made me a bit happy hah. No school tomorrow yay, finally spending time with my boyfriend after a few days of not seeing each other. Since I've been busy with school & stuff. I so can't wait to get my G2, & I so want a car for my 18th birthday. OMG, I really gotta start working on my cosmetology exam portfolio, I started on my introduction already well I made baby write it for me :) lol. & I'm also gunn make him do everything since he's way more artistic than I am. There's like a few days of school left & I'm excited to go to college. I CANT FUCKING WAIT :) ...

oh btw Klaudine if you're reading this, sorry ..
I'm too lazy to upload lol.. love you <3


-ds

thankful..

You've got to understand that it took me a lot of courage to make myself come to the realization that everything that I've ever wanted & needed is found within you. And for me to put everything aside again, everything that you once broke, is a remarkable task that took a lot of strength & faith in me. They say sometimes people put walls up, not because they want to block people out, but because they want to see who cares enough to knock them down. You know me like no one else does because I never was able to let anyone in, & you don't even know how glad & thankful I am that I gave you the chance. You stayed at our best, yet you stuck at it at our worse, & proved to me what truth in love still has. The sky is the limit & true love really is forever.

I wanted to find a guy that'll fight for me & what I believe in. Not fight my fights, but to fight for me & fight for my love. I wanted to find someone that knows when to hold me, when to comfort me, when to hold my hand. I wanted someone that'll love me for who I am, someone that won't change me or try to. Someone that knows me inside out, not someone who thinks they do. A guy that will listen to what I have to say & try to help me out. Who would stay awake with me all night, just to hear my voice. Who would know when to give me space & understand why. Someone who wouldn't leave me & love me forever. I wanted to find a guy that'll love me & we would be together forever.

..i found it in you
I Love You Always.

- DEE

LAUREN ELIZABETH GABARRO ROMANO

for some reason, when it comes to you I'm always emotional. I decided to dedicate this one to you, hopefully you'll like it :). I was looking at my previous pictures & there were tons of me & you. Those times we would mission down to Reymar's to wake him up. Member, 'loser & a half' & 'half a loser'? lol Chris Paul is too funny huh? NOT. The times we would skip first just for the fun of it & hide in the washroom so Mr. Flynn won't see you lol. Just the stupid moments we have & all the memories that we created. Remember those old boothies? You still have them lol. I wanna let you know that whatever happened to us, it was a joy ride. An exciting ride that brought us everywhere lol, even chilling with just the randoms. I will always keep all of those with me & treasure them. The 'FAUZLE' lol, even though it's rusty & shit, I still have it. I also wanna thank you for the times you had my back, & was ready to beat up the guy that made me cry. All the realtalks we would have. The times when your dad would drive crazy & I'll be at the backseat dying lol. Looking back, I don't regret anything. I know that you're happy with our situation now, cuz I know we're making a progress right? I really hope so, well at least in my eyes. Though sometimes it seems like you could care less or I could care less. I know deep down inside that we both know that we still do care bout each other, and always goin to be there for each other. I want you to know that you can always count on me when you have problems, whenever you need to talk. I'm not here, I'm there =] lol. With everything moving so fast, I get so emotional sometimes because I miss everything. & I don't care about the others that's reading this. All I wanna say to you is always keep your head high no matter what, you're a strong girl. I LOVE YOU !

"If you can look at the sunset and smile, then you still have hope. If you can see the good in other people, then you still have hope. If you meet new people with a trace of excitement and optimism, then you still have hope. If you give people the benefit of the doubt, then you still have hope. If the suffering in others still fills you with pain, then you still have hope. If you still watch love stories or want endings to be happy, then you still have hope. If you can look at the past and smile, then you still have hope. If, when faced with bad and told everything is futile, you can still look up at the end of the conversation and say "yeah, but..." then you still have so much hope. If you still offer your hand of friendship to those who have touched your life, then you still have hope. If you refuse to let a friendship die or accept that it must end, then you, very much, still have hope."

always,
dee.♥

Watched fireworks on Sunday :) all the way at Niagara, I know you might say crazy. But it was a nice place to go to. We also checked hotels and stuff, made me walk so far *cough cough*. I thought that the fireworks were amazing & was such a romantic place just to be with my boyfriend :). After the fireworks going nuts, we decided to go to midway to play some games. OMG we got like 500+ tickets damn, that game is too addicting lol. As in addicting that we finished all the cards that was in that machine slot. As usual choosing a prize for the tickets took long, since my boyfriend can't seem to make up his mind sometimes lol. The ride home was quiet & cold, I was mad tired and as usual fell asleep again..

Yesterday was quiet exciting, went to my grandparents house.. I DROVE THERE :) i'm so proud of my self because I drove from my house to Dufferin St... than back to my house again. Didn't get to spend time with baby since he went to the movies with his fam :)..

Today, I felt like the weekend wasn't long enough. Honestly, I just can't wait to finish. Watched a movie in Religion again as usual. Test in cosmo & lesson in Chem. Everything is just usuals lol. I had my driving lesson again today as well & I did a pretty good job :)... I miss my baby, I won't be able to see him till Thursday. Friday is such a downer as well since it's wondergrad, & I won't be able to see him til Saturday.

Should I work on sunday with ian? hmmmm.. we'll see

so the week was ummm so/so, though seriously whenever it rains tear falls. I thought April showers bring May flowers? I guess it's the opposite. But whatever, we're both making progress, *knock on wood* i don't wanna jinx anything. I know, that it's going to take a lot of hard work & a lot of sacrifices to make it work. Time will also tell if things are meant to be, but I know they are :) we both know they are.. I know that hurtful words has been said & hurtful things has been done, but what can we do.. it is what it is, we gotta forget bout the past & live for our future.

Anyways, Friday didn't go to school, & baby decided to come home early from work. He picked me up & went for lunch at Erin Mills, we went to Playdium after lol, I never really appreciated what Playdium could offer until Friday, when for the first time ever I played nuff games lol. Klaudine met up with us & all of us started playing every game possible lmao. It was fun until I had to go to work.. =( Baby came over after my work then just chilled at my house. Yesterday was fun, got to spend time with family for a bit because they were seeking attention from me lol, then also got to spend time with my boyfriend. Watched Angels & Demons after walking around Yorkdale. It was such a sick movie, the places they shot the movie at was awesome.

I should go to church soon, but people in my house are loafting. I wanna watch fireworks tonight or tomorrow.. But whatevesss .. iI'll blog more later..


ds

Friday was such a funny yet so tiring day lol, Me & baby rented a movie called Old School. Trying to scare my brother with it being a horror movie when it's really a comedy hah. My brother fell asleep so he went upstairs & Baby fell asleep on my lap as well, I also fell asleep for a bit, lol. but whatever. the night was fun :).

Saturday, went to wonderland with boyfriend and omg the stupid rain sucks !! It was literally on & off for the whole day. Took some boothies that turned out really cute i must say =]. But ya back to wonderland, omg i wanted to kill my boyfriend. Asshole, dragged me to every ride when he fully knows that i'm scared of heights. Like god damn Behemoth? no one can even drag me to rides like that lol. Wild Beast hurted my head really bad. Lol baby "IM A MAN" ahahaha & screaming on my ears asshole!! but overall it was so fun. Went to eat at an all you can eat Japanese restaurant near p-mall right after we watch the movie obsessed lol. Geez baby about the spider legs.! my ass

Sunday, I worked with kuya Ian, OMG I SERIOUSLY MADE 40 of those damn things. Mother's day.

Today, I got my new phoneee yay :) no more crap phone fina-fucking-ly, i miss the boyfriend dearly.. it's so gay that I won't even be able to see him on saturday, and won't be able to spend that much time with him on friday, but it's okay there's always monday :) angels & demons :) ..

no matter what you do to me, I'm still here. for some odd reason, i stick around and put up with all your mood swings and unkind words. i just let your comments roll off me into a puddle on the floor. i make up excuses on why you didn't call, try to think of all the answers. i keep going back for more even though sometimes you push me away. i don't know if i can do better ,but do i really want to? you're quick to push me down when all i want is to be brought up. when i walk out for good, when i really gain the strength i need then maybe you will see. maybe you can look back and say, "wow that girl really did love me."

& for the record.. i need you more than anything right now, i dont want to be that dependent on someone that will never come through for me. but without you im falling, and im scared that you will be the only one that can ever catch me, and im scared that you will never be there to do that.

dedicated to you ..

I haven't updated in awhile,I think ever since April 27th? not sure but yaa. This is hopefully gunn be a long, I also decided to dedicate this post to my one & only Ray Anthony. But before everything, I should update with the things I haven't updated in awhile.. I've been busy with school things, work things, & such things. Too much bills to pay, I also changed my phone & number, =] which pisses me off, cuz I wanna change my phone again. The situation with the best friend have been okay lately, things have been loosening up a bit & it makes me happy cuz it's a progress :). The weather lately is sooo frikking beautiful, I just can't wait to finish school. I've been skipping too much, either I'm exhausted from the night before, or lazy, or spending time with boyfriend, or sick. Right now I'm sick, but don't worry guys I don't have that swine flu thing. Lol. I've also been doing my driving lessons, and yeeee my instructor already booked my G2, on June 9th, EXCITEEEEEEED. Anyways I should really get into my dedication part huh? =] this might not makes sense since im out of it today but meeh, it's the thought that counts right?

First of all, Happy belated 3 months.. wow can you believe it? it's been three months & it feels like forever, not saying it's a bad thing, but it's a good thing when it comes to a realization of what we've been through, three months is long lol. I know people will probably say oh ya no that's only three months, it's nothing, but in this case, no one knows but me & you. I wanna recall all the memories I can recall from day one. Remember that night at Timmies, when we watched unborn? The night we both can't forget, knowing that we haven't seen each other for awhile felt really nice when all the awkwardness between us was replaced with laughter & joy huh? & member Lauren calling me, & she was drunk? aha. The talks we would have bout me & you being together after that. I didn't wanna give in just because I thought I was going to get hurt once again. You did all anything to win my heart, from singing to me until I fall asleep, meeting my parents, picking me up, listening to me while I cry from my problems with my mom or my best friend, help me out with my stressful life, etc. Soon enough I gave in, FEB 1 2009, perfect day, perfect time, perfect everything =]. I'd never forget that day, you picked me up from my house during breakfast aha, & that's when everything began. I know our first month was good, but we had our ups & downs as well. Remember Valentine's day? when we didn't know whether to stay here or go to Niagara, but we ended up going anyways =P. I thank you for that day because no one ever did something like that for me ever. You already know all the memories we've built after that. Going bowling is always fun with you :), then eating at the infamous Denny's afterward lol. Playing ball has also never been so much fun with anyone, cuz you actually play with me unlike the others that has no patience. Watching your games, & being proud of you makes me so happy :). When you would just chill with my brother, I find it so cute that even my parents wants him calling you kuya. I must say that all the things we have gone through makes me really proud of me & you. They say that the first months are the happiest, but in our case it's surely not lol. I have cried a whole lot of tears just to let this one go. I know that the past week has been really iffy for the both of us, but what happened? we got through it again. I'm so settled. I wanna let you know that I have, I do, & always will try my best to be patient with you & try to understand where you're coming from. I'm also sorry for the things I have said & done that jeopardized this relationship. I'm also asking for you to do the i think two things I asked from you. I know it takes time, & I am waiting. I know we're gunn get through all of this hand in hand. I just also ask for you not to do shady things like .. ill keep it to myself, but you know what i mean. Like what i said, i'm not up for games, so please be serious bout me as well. I love you. ♥

that like didn't make sense at all. (N) but i hope you liked it :)..


always,
dee

aaah, today i had to go to school just because i have to lol. I'm feeling so grumpy lately and sorry for the people that are affected, *coughcough* baby lol. They were even teasing me at school about being a gator because I was snapping, like gosh shut up :) it's okay I love y'all. My head phones broke for some reason but I'll fix them. I saw what Lauren did to herself because of the whole situation and seriously best imma cut off your nails soon. OMG, I screwed up on my Religion test today lmao, I literally left the whole thing blank. The teacher was making fun of me cuz of that, but whatever, at least I gave in the bonus part which was my notes and it was 15 points lol. Lunch was fun, we kept playing president and I kept losing, then I kept winning. Mine & Lauren's speed game was not very speedy lmao. Cosmo was fun, we had a presentation from the head professor & two students of Marca College. From what I saw Marca is such a good college for Hair & Esthetics, which makes me think of wanting to go there now, 8 gran for one year, it's pretty okay huh? well it's a private college. Chemistry test tomorrow, but class today is so funny, everyone started talking bout the website FML lmao it's too jokes because our teacher is like our friend & laughs with us. I literally wanted to pee, and everyone kept making me laugh. But whatever is clever.

I'm so excited to see baby tonight :) I miss him, & I just wanna have a chill afternoon/night-ish with him, since i've been being grumpy lately lol. 2 DAYS BABE :) <3 I can't wait. LOVE YOU LOTS!



- dee

Since I stayed home today I decided I was gunna change mine & baby's layout I needed a simple one cuz yaa. I'll prolly change mine again soon. Anyways I slept last night & woke up to an unbearable tummy ache. So I decided to stay home, I know I told myself I wasn't going to skip anymore but I can't possibly go to school like this especially it's a liturgy schedule. Me & him had such a good 'realtalk' this morning while on his way to work, about all the stuff we've been through, and our past relationships and stuff. It's so refreshing & it's such a great feeling knowing that I'm the first girl he's had a serious relationship with. I'm glad that he's taking this seriously like how I am taking it as well. I think that praying to God every night for this helped. It helped that it's amusing that no matter how stubborn we both are, no matter how opposite we are from each other, and no matter how hard the challenges that we face, we still both are here caring & holding on to each other. All in all everything is great :). Anyways I gotta get ready, it's so ugly outsideee gross & I have to drive in this kind of weather? sheeesh-ka-bob.

aaaah, today was um an okay day. What a 'SWIT' day once again except for the fact that i'm not on the schedule for work. WTH, I looked at the schedule & there was only 3 people on the stupid thing like.. But whatevs I gotta call my manager & see what's up. I decided to go to the doctors alone after checking my schedule just because I was being nice to my mom :) she was sick so I decided that she didn't need to come with me. I was there from the time baby left union station until he got there to pick me up. Like that was prolly like an hour.. holy chamoly.. But thanks baby for picking me up and coming with me to the doctor lol we'll keep whatever the doctor said a secret :). I have no choice but to drink medicine & follow what he said. "wow, you're in your work shoes with dress pants & north stars t-shirt?" LMFAO sorry I just had to make fun of you on that one ;) it's all love. At least I got to see baby today and I got to pinch him cuz of the silly things he did. Spent a little more time with him until he had to go to ball practice =( I was sad but at the same time it made me happy since I was bummy from my schedule at work. Was supposed to get our land pass today but no cuz I finished at the doctors around 7, which was very gay like my boyfriend lol.

Anyways, KLAUDINE ... SHE'S MURKED :) <3 lol

gotta do homework which is another bummer while waiting for boyfriend to finish ball practice.


- dee

WHAT A 'SWIT' DAY..

URGH, I worked yesterday & I woke up late this morning so imma go to school soon. At least I get to take a nap cuz I got work tonight again boo.. It's such a nice day out, frikking 22 degrees but apparently it's gunn rain in the afternoon. Work was okay, it's so chill, Kuya Ian, Greg, & Linda passed by making fun of me cuz I look so crap on my uniform lol. I'm scared to work alone next week cuz I really don't know my stuff yet but it takes time for me to get used to it. I literally fell asleep on the phone with Ray last night, sorry baby I was tired lol. But I was so hyper when I got home wasn't I? =P Too bad baby couldn't pick me up from work yesterday, I wanted to see him but it's kay cuz he's picking me up tonight =) & I'm excited to see him :). It's such a SWIT day outside right babe? LMFAOOO. sorry I told you I was gunna put it lmfao. Oh man Humber Test tmrw & I'm scared I really don't know my Bio things but whatever :) I get to spend time with my baby tomorrow :) perhaps Yorkdale? Downtown? whereever, as long as im with you =]. I'm so mad that you're done school & I still got few more months left. Now you can skip work & surprise me all the time ;) lol. Anyways I shall nap & continue this later..

- dee

P.S.
I MISSSSSS YOURE ASSHOLENESS BABE :)
it's all love. love youuuu!

if it comes back then that's how you know.

Yesterday was my first day of work :) I was scared at first but hey it was good. Pretty easy, so chilling & fun. I was kind of tired though because I didn't get my daily nap before going to work due to driving school. Speaking of which, that pissed me off too because I didn't even drive that much cuz I was writing down all the steps ahah, I really have to study all kinds of parking. Anyways, work was good except one thing, it burns my hands & it hurts. I should get used to it soon & memorize all the stuff. Big thanks to my baby for picking me up after being so tired with work. I got home and I literally just collapsed on my bed while on the phone with baby. I missed him. Good thing i saw him last night. But moving on, today, guess whattttt ? I got Red Violet peek-a-boos at cosmo class, thanks Amber :). Amber had the opportunity to touch my virgin hair aha. I think I want more highlights though cuz it doesn't really show that much .. hmmmm?

-

I'm SICK of this, SICK OF BEING SICK. You're constantly telling me that I don't love you, like you really know what's inside my head! It's annoying & not nice to know that my own boyfriend doesn't even trust or believe the love that I have for him. You're telling me you're done hurting? well I'M DONE HURTING TOO! I'm done with all the fussing & fighting everyday. My world & my life already revolves around you & that's not enough for you? What have I done to hurt you? Did I hurt you by not typing on this blog about you? or what I feel about you? Well guess what, you hurt me way more than that. You're constantly telling me I don't care when all I cared for is this relationship & how to make you happy. Always putting you above everyone else, that I even forgot about my own friends. You're always thinking at the back of your head that I'm doing shit behind your back when we both know I DON'T. & we both know that YOU DO. I told you to help me out, yet all you think about is your feelings. A relationship goes two way not only one. I know you're stubborn, but what have I done from day one? I dealt with it, all the imperfections, the non-sense fights, the cheating, the lying, the past, the faults. You told me it was gunn change & so far it hasn't improved. I gave you all that you wanted & more than you deserved, yet you still didn't open my eyes and tell your self that maybe I really do love you. Cuz trust me no good girl would put up with the kind of shit we've both been through. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I really tried my best with this. Don't come back to me until you find out what you're gunn do to make this relationship go two way. Don't come back to me until you open your eyes into knowing how much I cared about you. I just can't deal with immaturity anymore. As much as I care, sometimes it's alright to let things go, like what the song says, 'if you love something let it go, & if it come's back then that's how you know' ..




- dee.

F*CK MY LIFE.

Fuck my life sideways! Woke up to an ugly weather today which is really gross, doesn't help me, bad weather especially rain makes me sad for some reason. I HATE IT! Anyways not only the weather is a downer but school is also a downer, I had 3 unit tests today. Religion was such a loaft, seriously there was like 7 people in the class that showed up. I guess my teacher was right when he said "sometimes success is all about showing up", which is why I'm really pushing myself to go to school lol. Cosmo test was hard frikking 110 questions, like wow is she crazy? but whatevs. Chem killed me, I fucked up on my quiz, i got 7 out of 10, which is okay but I can do a lot better. I should really stop sleeping & start listening.Thank goodness my dad was home to pick me up from school cuz there's no way im walking under this ugly ass weather. Speaking of bad mood, my phone's gunn get cut off soon which sucks balls, but whatever I'll get my own :).

The weekend was so nice, spent Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, & Saturday with the boyfriend. Geez my friends really has to work out again, shame shame ! you guys lost to KIDS! lol. out of shape much? LOL it was fun when me, trixie, jed, & ero got bored & decided to drive ray's car, well ero did. No he didn't get mad lol he was cool with it surprisingly. It was so fun chilling with them, I miss them. I should really start chilling again since the weather is really nice nowadays except for today. Like what I said Enough of me hibernating right? Also i forgot to mention that Trixie & Ryan killed me & Laurence on ball, damn Trixie is good, Ryan depended on her lol. But too bad I was feeling sick so decided to go home early, few minutes after Athina came. Sorry wife =( lol. I'm slowly coming out of my shell :) .. The couples should do a date soon :) i'm so down lol. But anyways me & Ray watched Silence of The Lambs, pretty sick movie I thought it was gunn be scary but ya. AND AND AND you know were bored when... WE WATCH CONGO ON A FRIDAY NIGHT. LMFAO. losers much? whatevs, I hope I feel better soon so I can finally go out and enjoy.

OUUUU, i have work tmrw.. oh mhan, wish me luck. I know I'll do good. This is also one issue why I never went out that much no more, CUZ NO MONEY, HONEY. geez, and now that I'm gunn have money, Ill have to give my card to Ray or Athina because I can't spend anymore lol. Anyways off to my homework. CIAO!


P.S.
GOOD LUCK ON YOUR EXAM TMRW BABY!
you'll do good, two or three more
exams to go and what your done?
I HATE YOU! & I still have like
two and a half more months ..
FUCK MY LIFE.

PROMISE.

The few days have been tough, things were just worst as before. I trusted you with all of me. You promised me that you would never do that to me, I'll keep it to myself. I felt the most angry feeling I have ever felt in awhile when I saw what you were doing behind my back. You we're caught, I saw them with my own eyes. I'm not the type of person that believes what people tell me but once I see it for myself it's a different story. When you did all of those things, especially 'throwing our love away', I didn't know what I was going to do but say 'drive me home'. I just couldn't believe that the love of my life did such evil thing behind my back, I wanted to be alone, I never wanted to see your face again, didn't wanna hear anything to do with you. I'm not going to lie, you lost me for a second there, I guess I was letting my mind take over my heart. But after you cried so much, my heart actually took over my mind. Seeing you cry in front of me, hearing the words that came out of your mouth, all the apologies, & the things you did to actually have things back to normal. I appreciate all of those because for once I'm not the one giving in & trying to do make our relationship work, it was you. I really felt cared & loved. Now it's back to normal but remember along the way, you still have to prove to me that you are MAN ENOUGH & MATURE ENOUGH to actually commit to this & not fool around with my feelings. I'm kindly asking you that if time comes & you don't want this anymore, you don't have to stick around, just please tell me & PLEASE don't ever do what you did, they're just really unacceptable. I love you too much to let it go just like that.
-
What beautiful weather yesterday and today. I can finally feel the sun omg time for me to come out of my shell & stop hibernating. I have hibernated enough lol. The downer is... IM SICK =( but whatevs. I just spent the day with boyfriend yesterday, thursday, & wednesday lol. played ball as usual. Chilled at my house last night. Baby if my brother wins & scored 6 points you better do the deal you make lol or he'll bug you forever.

LOL boyfriend's blog (http://1-con.blogspot.com/) made me laugh like there's no tomorrow. You're too harsh babe, I told you not to be that mean to her. But it's okay at least you didn't expose her about the things you told me. Anyways moving on.. YAY I got a job :), finally. I've been unemployed since January, time for me to frikking get money. I'm still disappointed at the fact that I quit my last job, like seriously how dumb can I get? But it's whatever, thanks kuya ian for getting me the job :). That dude made me wait for like 2 hours, like sh*t. But whatevs I got the job anyways =]. Yesterday was a pretty sick day-off from school. After my job interview, baby picked me up well waited for me, since he took half the day off from work lol. Went to my house to finish folding the clothes I was supposed to do before I left, see I'm being a good girl lol. I guess we also went to my house to pick up my brother's ball, since Ray's outdoor ball sucks ass lol. Went to Gonzaga and we saw JOEY, our new found friend. He's such a cutie, him & my boyfriend even played one-on-one for some McDonald's. "You better buy me my McDonald's next time I see you" lol, baby you're such a bully. Too bad he was a cheater aha. Got bored at Gonzaga & went off to Marcellinus, played some street ball, well I watched he played lol. Anyways I checked the PHYBA rankings, and they're not the only team that played 6 times omg baby, you're so blind put on some glasses lol. I had driving school today shit my life, I just can't wait to finish, I wanna start driving. Baby you gotta teach me how to do my 3-point turn & my parallel please & thanks =].
I'm so looking forward to this whole week, I can feel the sun. & I have the biggest feeling that this summer I'm going to be dark! I'm scared lol. Whoever has a Wonderland Season Pass from last year, please let me know if you guys wanna renew it this year Me & Ray needs 2 more people. THAAAAAAAANKS. Okay, this is like non-sense now like always. whatevssss, done done done.

Btw, people has to stop fucking spraying in the hallways. I seriously hate where my locker is located well all of our lockers are located. I loved my locked in Grade 10 & 11. I hate going there knowing some stinky person sprayed his/her fucking perfume that makes everyone gag, cough, sneeze, & complain. Geeeez, I was literally coughing my lungs out, & this is like the third time this happened. So whoever you are, please spray your shit when there's no one affected thanks.


Baby & Joey playing one-on-one

Thursday: stayed home once again..geez I really gotta stop being lazy, & I will. Ray came over to pick me up & go back around to my house to change his pants ahaha too jokes, watched What Happened in Vegas & Identity. That identity movie creeped the living heck out of me. But we were seriously turning around all the time that day, literally.

Friday: Church was so long holy I almost fell asleep, or did i? =P. I seriously thought it was going to finish round 3, but no.. It finished at around 5. Me & boyfriend went to the movies to watch Observe & Report, I still think that I Love You Man is better. That movie was just corny but it's okay it still made me laugh aha =P. Lol baby you want some SWISS CHALET? seriously, Swiss Chalet hates us. It was only 10 & they're already closed, so being a grumpy old man when he's hungry, we ended up at Denny's again lol, it's okay we love Denny's anyways. Saw Gloria, Ashley, & Ralph when we were about to eat. I also just realized that day that I could scream really loud, & so can he. Wow, we're too stubborn. It's all good in the hood.

Saturday: Decided to go Downtown with who else? my boyfriend lol. Went shopping, I must say that the new Nautica Oceans perfume smells like heaven aha. But don't get it, I don't want you guys smelling like my boyfriend, kidding. Finally ate some Swiss Chalet that he wanted since the night before aha. Chinese Swiss Chalet =P .. " did i just get a whole chicken? " ahaha. But before all that happened I almost forgot we finally cleaned his car. Geez man that car needed it real bad. But still didn't finish cleaning the inside part which we HAVE TO DO soon right? lol. That also brought back memories from summer 08 damn. Exact same car wash place lol. Then went to get some ice cleam at baskin robins. Geez babe you're seriously getting me fat. After downtown, went back to Sauga to play some ball at Gonzaga, that brought back memories as well. It was sooo cold. " yo, look at his calves " ; " *burp* omg popeyes right there " .. omg too funny =P.



Today: Church was so early, woke up because I had to. Went to the park. Came home, boyfriend came over & bonded with the family : ) while I fell asleep lol. Baby you still owe me chocolates! Thanks for coming to see me today btw you're the best =]. You got my parents in a good mood cuz of that thing you brought for them, iono how to spell it lol. I literally laughed at my mom when she said "how come ray kisses me when he comes here or leaves, & you guys don't" geez. It's love. I bet my brother is still celebrating that he beat you on NBA Live, booooring. You know what else is boring? BASEBALL. Im such a noob when it comes to sports. fuck me



-

On the other hand, who ever said that THIS doesn't phase me? Obviously it does because it involves me & other things. Don't worry I know bout the Blue Mountain thing, because before he bugged you, he bugged me first. Like what I said, when I push him away he makes you a rebound. You know why? because you're letting him. We both know guys get brainwashed easily, so all the things you told him about what I have done in the past affects him, why you say? because he cares about me. You really think that if he likes you or wants to be with you like what you're trying to say, he's still going to be by my side right now? Maybe you should actually just tell me all the things that he's 'hiding' because I am curious. You told him to stay with me, yet you're admitting that you still have feelings for him. I just don't get, is this the way of you getting revenge from me because of the past? Well I guess the things you told him about me didn't have any effect because it came from him that you don't matter to him. Yes maybe time will tell, but so far it's been great being with him. You're telling me I'm mindfucking him? He's not stupid to not know if i am mindfucking him or not. & If I am like what you say, we seriously wouldn't be together by now. He turned his back on you over some gee? That proves one more thing, that he really doesn't wanna be with you so i really don't know why you're telling me that he's not serious about me. As much as you know him, I know him well enough to tell you that he doesn't tolerate bullshit, he gets what he wants, & he's not stupid. So if I am fooling him, why would he see me almost everyday of the week? why would he meet my whole family? why would he bond with my family? why would he bring me to his games? go to dinner with me & my family? you really think that if he doesn't care about me or if he thinks im bullshitting him, he would do those things? I don't think so. It seems like you have a lot to say about how I am getting fooled by him & him not being serious about me, when you finally think that it's the right time to talk bout it let me know cuz I will be waiting. & I hope they're no bullshit.

Woman to Woman

WOMAN TO WOMAN

- Thea Monyee



I’m actually glad that you were bold and brave enough to call my house
So, that we can discuss this woman to woman and try to work some of these things out
So, we can compare notes on some dates and times, and try to figure out some of his tired ass lies
I’m actually glad to be hearing from the lips that left the lip sticks on my man’s colla
Even though he told me he was working late, just tryna earn a couple extra dollas
And I loved and I trusted him, so his bullshit I would swallow
Even though my intuition would never let me sleep
So, I guess the gap in our relationship was where you thought you would fit in ?
Just an insecure woman chasing after a man who’s already got a woman
But your pussy is not deep enough for a real man to fall in love with,
And this we already know because see your skirt is so short that it already shows your best assets
So, there’s no point in wasting time tryna figure out what you’re thinking after all
He is not fucking you for your mind
And you’re still young at heart, so you think this is real cute
Telling your friends girl, he’s cheating on me because he really wants you
And the reality is we are nothing alike
When he can’t deal with all of me, he goes to you to get me off of his mind, but it never works
See, he gets real still as he lies between the sheets that he sees
And now he’s tuning you out because he’s picturing me
Because you put up with that shit that I just won’t deal with
Because I’m strong in who I am
And he loves that, he loves that about me
It’s just that sometimes he can’t stand the reality that he doesn’t deserve a woman like me
And when he feels that way, well hell…
That’s when he comes crawling to your dirty shit
And just like a child, you thought you would call me to share
Calling me to disclose with me the colour of my man’s underwear
And you tell me like I don’t already know
Hell, I bought ‘em
Tryna tell me about how my man fucks, bitch I taught him
So, why don’t you do me a favour
And when he comes over tonight, and he’s coming and you’re coming…
And you’re both coming at last,
Just simply lean back his head and look him deep in his eyes,
And you’ll see me, waving back at your ass .




-
some deeeeeeeeep shit, kudos to Athina for this =)

wow, i haven't updated in quite awhile now. Well the past days have been rough & tough, but like everything else I'm getting through with my life, with the people that are most important in it. Me & Ray had our first double date with Athina & James, that was fun. Fast & The Furious was a good movie, though some people were saying that Tokyo Drift was better, well I still think this one is good, they're all good. Ive been slacking in school really bad, I gotta pick it up & start going to school. & I will. Today was a really scary day for me, but God answered my prayers, I'll keep that to myself. I really love how girls think they know me & talk shit to my boyfriend about me, saying what I did with my ex-boyfriend. It's just funny, because you don't know shit, you don't know me, I'm really glad that you took the time to even think of what to tell my boyfriend. Too bad girl, he doesn't like you, so telling him "oh ray i'd never do that to you" just makes you look like a slut. So keep talking, I'll listen. Let's see what else you're going to come up with. HAHA.

Anyways, I really miss my ugly. Thank God I'm seeing him tomorrow. I really need him, a hug from him & not letting go. This week is tough for us, but we got through it. I LOVE YOU.

"I've got my future planned,
& I swear you're in it.. I LOVE YOU"

- ray valdivia


♥
DEE.