I just came to a realization that I only have a week left before school starts, & it's not just the regular high school routine I was used to, it's college time, no more baby-ing and skipping classes, time to take things seriously & let go of the past and other things that won't help me be successful in the future.. Well I have been trying, it's hard but it's good, seeing life in a, 'when one door closes another opens' perspective.

Anyways, 7 months ago I was a completely different girl that I am now. Yes I said girl, because girls doesn't know what they want, doesn't know their priorities etc, and I admit it I was like that. Going crazy over boys, acting like I was cool just because I was smoking or drinking or skipping classes or lying to my parents even. Now I can proudly say that I am a grown up young adult that got over those little childish ways. And other than my supporting family and left friends, one person made a big impact of what I am now, and how I make my decisions now..it's him, he knows who he is no need to blabber his name, but off course I have to mention that it's our 7 months today. Don't got much to say but over everything I want to say thank you for being you, for not being a different person around me, or my family, the realness you show every minute of everyday. Thank you for supporting me, and not being afraid to yell at me when I'm wrong, and not hesitating to forgive me when I apologize for the stupid things. For the moments we have spent, I still can't find myself to get sick of you lol. Thank you for changing for me, for seeing what is inside me and not the outside, for telling me I'm beautiful even though I know you're shitting me lol jks, for all the silliness, for the tears that you have caused that made me realize how worth it they are. I can't thank you enough and you know that, the only way I know I can pay you back is by being a good girlfriend, being faithful, and being all for you. Most of all thank you for loving me. I know this doesn't make sense but you know what I mean, you also know why it doesn't make sense, cuz love doesn't make sense ;) lol.. HAPPY 7 MONTHS BABE ♥

-
enough cheesyness, today was baby's last day off from his week vacay. We did pretty much what was planned except for CN tower, We watched Holloween 2 on Friday then headed off to Niagara, ate at Rainforest Cafe and instead of our regular seat beside the fountain this time we sat beside three gorillas which baby made fun of. Saturday we watched The Final Destination at Yorkdale, and chilled. Sunday was chilling day, took my car to drive and get our fav bubble tea and rented movies, Yesterday we went to Wonderland then watched District 9 at Collosus at Vaughan, then today is our 7 months, chilled at my house, played video games, went to the park to play football :) lol, and ate at Denny's, speaking of..IM STILL FULL, i don't think i will eat for another 10 years lol, then baby came over to install my printer to my laptop =] and tmrw is just cleaning day for me, and perhaps go out with cate =] .. we'll see.

anyways my mind is falling asleep, ill blog later

-dee

updattttessss

haven't blogged in what maybe a week now? my last blog was the pics from collingwood. But I should update this, perhaps what has been happening & probably get a new layout. Well pretty much have days off this week and next & it's pretty sick since baby has a week off too. I finally got my laptop :) white sony bitch! lol. I also got a new ipod :) been chilling with baby pretty much everyday going places and such :) it's nice cuz it feels like such a late summer aha. But whatevs it's worth it. At least we did all the list on our summer to do's =] I'll end it here, and blog some more when I got time. So long ..

- dee

Collingwood

before leaving


"little big family" lol

with baby & brother


i love this fag :)

Alysha & I

Baby & god daughter jana, HIS favourite little kid :)

Baby bugging my brother lol

Me, Nicah & Alysha

Almost everyone


lol against baby on that hula game thing

LOL @ my brother

before playing ball

Me & Jezz, realllllly tired lol.


Anyways, the weekend was fun. I just can't wait for next year :)
Im gun get my laptop on thursday or friday soo goodbye to this old ugly laptop lol
=]

weekend getaway.

The past few days have been rough, actually the past few months. Losing people in my life is not that pleasant of a thing to hear, but like what they say, when one door closes another opens. I thank God of what I have regardless, especially family, boyfriend, & remaining friends. I must say I have my up & down moments once in awhile, but hey that's life, it's like a mountain you're trying to get up at & once you reach the top it's worth everything. It's not a smooth ride, there's a lot of roughness throughout the way, but I can make it. Once in awhile we need a getaway from all the bullshit that life or let's say the road that we're trying to go through, & I'm finally getting a well deserved one. This weekend, after long hours from work, & dealing with rude people I finally get a getaway along with family, friends, & boyfriend :). Speaking of baby, I must say I was impressed with his blog I loved it =) & thanks for picking me up from work the other day! the little things that you do to make my day & make my tiredness worth it. So tomorrow we're leaving for Blue Mountain after baby's work with Jezz & Alisha on the back seat lol, but before that we're gun look for some computers first cuz I'm in need of a laptop. Since I'm gun help baby drive, if he needs it, we're going to take the side road, which means it's all farmland lol. But it okay, I love fresh air. Anyways, I'll blog & post up some pics when I get the chance to next week.

- dee

you're my song ..

You're my favorite song and always will be. At times,
you're an annoying pop song. At others, you're a sweet
acoustic melody. We are two completely different people,
but we came together and it worked. But at some point
you became a breakup song. For a long time I turned
off my radio, hoping the silence would help me. But
tonight I caved in. You will always be my favorite melody.

I LOVE YOU BABE :)

always,
your girlfriend

Boy Meets World

Cory: Ever since I was young I never understood anything about the world,
and I never understood anything that happened in my life.
The only thing that ever made sense to me was you, and how I felt about you.
That's all I've ever known and that's enough, that's enough for me,
for the rest of my life. Topanga, we gonna get married?
Topanga: Yea, we are
-
Cory: Mom, Listen, I haven't been together with Topanga for twenty-two years, but we *have* been together for sixteen. 'Kay, that's a lot longer than most couples have been together. I mean, when we were born, you told me that we used to take walks in our strollers together in the park. When we were two, we were best friends, I mean, I, I knew everything about this girl. I knew her favorite color. I knew her favorite food. Then we became six, you know, and Eric made fun of me because it wasn't cool to have a best friend that was a girl or even know a girl, so for the next seven years I threw dirt at her. I like to call those "the lost years". Then when I was thirteen, Mom, she put me up against my locker and she kissed me. I mean, she gave me my first kiss. She taught me how to dance. She was always talking about these crazy things and I never understood a word she said. All I understood was that she was the girl I sat up every night thinking about, and when I'm with her I feel happy to be alive. Like I can do anything. Even talk to you like this. So that's, that's what I feel is love, Mom... When I'm better because she's here... and now she won't be. So we're finished.

I miss Boy meets world, I loved watching that.. I think that's where I got the idea of a dream boy.. I'm a sucker for guys like Cory Matthews & the love him & Topanga have. I know mine isn't as bad, but I know it will be better as soon as possible =] cuz it's all love.

vent vent vent.

I just love the fact that you out of all the people would hold such a grudge against me. Out of all the years I have known you, and of all the things I have done for you, the favors, the little things you hold a grudge against me over some little thing? All I want to say is GROW UP. As kids I would understand the fact that you tell someone that 'oh i'm not talking to her' dude, get over it. It's a little thing.. If I list all the things that I should have held a grudge against you, trust me, mine wouldn't mean nothing. But honestly whatever, this is just a way for me to vent out, I don't care if you read it or not, but I hope you do and realize that you got to let go of some pride.

-
Anyways nuff bull, my gaah I worked everyday this week except Tuesday,oh well nuff money, plus i don't really have to go shopping cuz I already got everything I want =] especially the Adidas sweater from Aritzia =] Ive been waiting for my size and they finally got it lol.I have work tomorrow again, then seeing baby after, perhaps eat some dinner & watch Time Traveler's Wife. Monday is work again, then Tuesday prolly gun go out with the girls and Wednesday with Cate. Friday is Collingwood =] can't wait I need a get away!!! I also can't wait for the 26th til baby get's his week vacay from work :) :) :) ..

no offense mother nature..

Yesterday was pretty okay. Had my first shortest shift 3 hours lol. It felt fast cuz it wasn't busy at all. I like working mondays lol. Today was my day off, so I picked up Jezz and off we went shopping. Met up with cate afterward after her interview and OH EM GEE she got the job at costa blanca, which is great cuz that means, DISCOUNT :) lol. I kinda wanna apply at Town shoes lol. From what I heard from cate aha. After spending, dropped off cate home & dropped jezz, now waiting for my baby to come over, i miss him, so it's good he's coming over =) .. i love that sleepy head that falls asleep on me every night, literally lol.

& honestly the weather is so shit, no offense mother nature... but give us some good days c'mon pls and thank you =]

Friday - Sunday

Friday
- couldn't see baby
- got Klaudine
- Milton is FAAARR
- met up with Cate
- met up with Julius, Edward, Jonnie, & Rainier
- Go-Karting with everyone (funn, haven't been go karting for awhile)
- Wal-Mart to buy movies and pop
- Julius place to watch Haunting at Connecticut
* live day, we should do it again.. btw CONGRATS cate for getting the job at Town Shoes =] now imma get shoes from you =]

Saturday
- worked
- met up with baby
- watched GI JOE
- chill at home
* not only Channing Tatum is hot but GI JOE is a must see movie. It's pretty sick.

Sunday
- worked
- watched Perfect Getaway with baby
* sick movie..

mother nature isn't mothering after all..

So I was supposed to have work yesterday but my manager called me right after I got ready to tell me I wasn't working, and that I was working today instead so that was bummy, I decided to take the car and meet up with Cate to go help her find a job. Wow I haven't had a girl's day out for a long time. Then had to go home right away since Cate left and baby was gun pick me up from home and we were going to go to Marcellinus to jog & work out. After that we just went home to play CLUE which was fun lol.
Today, I worked, it was odd for a Thursday and not being busy I guess it was cuz Mother Nature gave us a beautiful day today. Speaking of mother nature, she's not being really mothering to us lately. I don't know what's happening but that storm, tornado, whatever you call it was weird. It was like hail and heavy thunderstorm. So I won't be seeing the boyfriend tomorrow since his cousins are over =( bummer but it's okay I guess, hope you have fun baby. I also hope those people are really your cousins! Anyways I got my school schedule I found out that ill be at school
MONDAY:
10:50 - 11:40
11:45 - 1:30
TUESDAY:
9:00 - 11:40
2:30 - 4:15
WEDNESDAY:
OFF
THURSDAY:
9:55 - 11:40
11:45 - 1:30
2:30 - 4:15
4:20 - 6:05
FRIDAY:
8:05 - 10:45
----
pretty sick schedule huh? Hopefully it doesn't change.. I'm pretty scared for college, something new but I'm happy I'm moving on.

- dee

line..

Draw a line, & it's up to you to place me where you want to.

------------------------------------------
Right now, I know I'm below it..


.

long weekend.

Friday:
Ended up going to Ontario Science Centre, it was good especially the imax movie. Saw some of baby's girls/boys/friends but as usual didn't get introduced to so that was a downer. But then again I guess it's no biggie to him, I guess in the long run I'll just learn how not to care when it comes to those kind of situation. We also watched Funny People, it was funny. Definitely a must see.

Saturday:
Had to work from 1 - close. But whats more bummy is boyfriend promised me he was going to be there after my work to wait for me and pick me up. But instead he made me wait for 1 and a half hour because he was at the beach with people I don't know. Mind you it's our 6 months. The only fun part was playing battleship.

Sunday:
Woke up early for church, went to church with babe for the first time ever, I prayed for so many things I have been praying for for the longest time. I hope they come my way soon. Their not even for me, their for us. Anyways, we decided to go to Niagara afterward and no lie it was mad traffic, Ray called one of his many many girls so she told us one way to get there faster and it helped. We went to the Ripley's Museum and that Mirror Maze, they were sick. Before going home we played at Midway and got 2000+ tickets which earned me a big dolphin :) and other little things. I love that place. Went home afterward and ate some take out and played mouse trap lol. Then just chilled our night away.

Monday:
Went to my grandparents to spend time with the fam. It was pretty fun.

-
dee

P.S
happy belated 6 months hun, i love you. I know we have been through a lot, through hell and back, through laughter and tears, through fights and just plain loving. I don't know why lately it seems like everything is changing, especially the love you got for me. I have been noticing the space we're starting to build between each other. Don't get me wrong, I do love you a lot, and I'm scared you're sick of me, especially when u break up with me or you ask me to break up with you. It's sad cuz I'm not sure of how you feel for me anymore. But I'm proud of us, no one thought we would make it this far and we did. I know we're gun keep proving everyone wrong. I'm sorry I know I'm difficult to deal with sometimes but I know you, you like challenge and I am a challenge so I hope you don't give up. But no lie you are a challenge as well, but no way I can give up, this is the best yet hardest thing ever. I love you.

Faithfully ..

I know you gave a chance to be with me
I'm not sayin’ that this ain’t meant to be
Boy I’m risking my heart to love you faithfully
When ever I’m over my head I want you to keep on holding on
cause no matter what you say or do
I will still love you

Boy you’re my pride, my everything
and anything means everything
and everything I want is you
I want to spend my life with you
hate to tell you, you need to do
everything you want me to do

love me faithfully
here’s my hand
take good care of me
just know you’ll always have a shoulder to cry on
come and rescue me
take my had
love it faithfully
you’ll always have a shoulder to cry on

cause sometimes its still hard to believe
we made it through our lives and doubts
when ever you lost it
I’ll always be there

you’ll always be the one to remain in my heart
I can only promise one thing baby you’ll always have a place in my heart

Boy I will love you forever and ever
come baby I promise you that I will never
lose my faith in us
I promise everything will be ok

Baby whenever we are together
whenever I doubt boy you make things all better
you know that I am sensitive to all the thing you can give
all I want is you in my life

baby we just happened.

You used to tell me that I was your pride & joy. That you love me, that you're all for me, that it's just me, that you will marry me someday, that I was going to be the mom of your kids, and everything else.

But I'm sick of words, show me actions.. I've got a lot to say but I'll leave it.
Whatever happens, i still love you, always will.

dee

Had a day off today and I basically laid my bum on my bed & txt the boyfriend the whole time until maybe round 3ish. He picked me up, played some ball & watched 500 Days of Summer, pretty good movie it was funny. I'm surprised it wasn't as boring as I thought it would be. Even baby loved it, it was funny.. but the funniest thing is the guy that was beside us lol. He honestly made my day, it's not everyday you see a guy watching a chick flick by himself and being so into it. Now, I'm just chillaxing listening to music and such. I got work tomorrow, one more day and my weekend begins, finally..... anyways ill blog again soontimes, later days..

- dee

Bye bye computer..

so this morning I had to wake up to my computer giving up on me, my desktop that is. After 5 years it gave up on me lol, so I have to settle for this laptop until I get a new one. Me and baby are planning to get matching mac books before school starts lol. Anyways didn't have work today and I changed the ayout of my room, I also cleaned up my closet. I ended up with two full garbage bags lol.
blog ya later ..
im too lazy lol

dee

not bad.

What the heck is wrong with the weather? Honestly, the past 3-4 days was like pure rain and now it's all sunny. I'm not complaining bout the sun but that's how I get sick all the time because of the change in weather. I never know how to dress for the weather. But anyways, I just woke up few minutes ago and was planning the weekend with my boyfriend =]. I'm looking forward to it, cuz I actually realized that our summer plans are almost done, we're almost at the end of it. At least my summer didn't turn out that bad like loafting and things. Because I have been on that loafting tip, I don't want to go back, I'm happy that I'm moving on and not staying in one place and being productive of my time. Y'all can go have fun loafting, I choose to live my life & I'm happy with where I'm going. But I won't lie partying sometimes isn't bad as long as it's not everyday. Speaking of parties here are some of the pics from mine & Julius's little get together.


Edward, Jonnie, Jayar, & Richard singing happy birthday to me & julius

With Cate .. my pink eye was bothering me =(

Some of us.

Anyways enough of this, I kind of miss Klaudine! well not really lol kidding now I have to drive further to come pick her up and bring her back to civilization lol =). I also miss my two little cousins, they left last night after sleeping over for a few days, it surprised me that they liked my boyfriend that much lol. They bugged him the whole time he was here lol. I also woke up today to my boyfriend's voice, it was prolly one of the cutest moments after a long time, it made my day. Anyways that's it for now, I'll blog whenever I get the chance to.

- dee

something needs to be changed ..

You turn to a completely different person.. You know what i'm talking bout. I won't go on in here blabbering bout you, cuz i know how much you hate that.. Saying sorry to me makes me feel happy that you still got the potential to change. Also, telling me that you need help makes me wanna cry because it states the fact that you want to change, since I've always want to be the girl you will change for. But I have been trying to help you ever since we started, I just don't know how to anymore.. So please, if you know just let me know.I'll get to my point now, something needs to be changed. I'm telling you this because I want us to work, regardless of anything, I love you.

New layout

My blog was asking for a new layout lol so I changed it. I keep hearing my dad bugging my brother to play ps3 with him and my brother keeps responding with a "you need more practice" lol, I'm so jealous with their relationship. I wish I had that kind of father-daughter relationship. Well I used to, but not anymore I'm a tad older now and those kiddish ways are out of the way. Anyways I had work yesterday and we had a really funny staff meeting. Athina came over after work & James came along, they stayed til like 12ish. It was I guess nice seeing and talking to them about life & things. The weather is so bummy, it's okay though I'm seeing my boyfriend and spending time with him =). Sorry babe that I can't make it on Saturday or Sunday, I'll make it up to you!

FAILURE.

okay so I can't help but think that this summer is such a fail. Honestly I was looking forward to it, couldn't wait for it to come.. & now that it's here it's the worst summer yet. All I do is work, I don't get no excitement in my life right now. Before summer came we made it a point that we'll do all these shit, and now we don't even have time to do anything. For fucks sakes I feel like we don't even do anything anymore. Especially now that it's almost coming to an end, you got your own thing going on now. Like ball is more important than me, well that's how I feel anyways. You can't even talk to me at night anymore, all you do is fall asleep, I know you're tired and all but I am too and I still make it a priority to talk to you just because I didn't talk to you for the whole day. The only time we actually get to talk talk is when we're arguing, other than that you'd just sleep. I don't want to go on and ramble about things that are immature but all I'm asking for is your attention, and a bit of your time. I won't count on it, but I won't lose anything if i try right? Like how I've been trying to earn YOU, your trust, your love, your everything for the past months. I hope the day will come when you'll just come up to me and say, "I'm giving you everything you've been trying to earn". I'll be waiting....

always,
Dee

Yesterday was bomb, before going to work I had to wake up extremely early to get ready for my placement test at Humber. I picked up Jezz in the morning & drove there to write my test. It was a pretty easy computerized Math test. We had to bus from there to Sq since my mom took the car. Went mad shopping lol shopped til I had to go to work at 5 =( lol.. 3 more things on the list : juicy couture purse, adidas sweater, ipod.
-
I did my hair today, it's supposed to have a lighter base color but it didn't work that well, but it has nuff highlights. spent nuff money on that as well, which means now im broke lol. so the 3 things on my list have to wait lol. I also spent time with my boyfriend today since my work shift was canceled. I was so close to giving in to him buying me an ipod for my bday present but no =] lol.. BTW YOU STILL OWE ME SOMETHING FOR LOSING OUR BET :).. We also came up with an idea of going to Montreal. I'm excited =]
-
no more facebook for me as well.

Birthday Weekend.

Friday was sick, even though it sucked.. My boyfriend took me to the zoo & we saw nuff animals, I never knew there were that much kinds of monkeys aha anyways it was good while it lasted, I didn't want anything for my bday but baby knows what i want from him which even made me tear by telling him. After the long day of walking at the zoo we went to STC to chill & watch I Love You Beth Cooper, it sucked ! i fell asleep lol. To make things worst, I GOT PINK EYE ON MY BIRTHDAY!

Saturday I didn't expect much from the park thing because i know there wasn't much to expect. Thank you so much for the people that came, you guys made it fun & took my mind off the people that didn't want to come & didn't even bother greeting me on my birthday. It was just a piss off that my boyfriend had to leave and he didn't even spend time with me, instead he chose to throw a football with my brother. After all the talks & the jokes we had off we went to julius's place to celebrate mines, his & his twins birthday, they turned 19 =]. There was a lot of alcohol, which everyone finished except for me since i promised my boyfriend i wasn't going to drink. But the night was full of fun, I haven't had that much fun in awhile. I missed my friends.

Today is just church for me, & i'm currently pissed off at the moment, I hate when you get so mad at me for not txting you back for 5 minutes, you ignore me for 5 hours & you don't expect me to get mad. It's not fair that you're doing this to me like im just a piece of shit to you, put yourself in my shoe, if i didn't text you back for 5 hours you would freak!i dnt give a damn if your battery is dieing, but don't ignore me. You wouldn't want me doing that to you. & you act like it's nothing? well you're wrong cause it is something. I'm pissed off at you at the moment. How do I know you're not doing shit behind my back when you ignore me for that long. I don't care who you're with, before you left we promised each other we were going to txt each other. My birthday weekend is already ruined and you don't give two fucks about it.

Tomorrow i have a test at humber, I'm going to drive there then go back home & I'm bringing Jezz with me so when we get back I should go shopping. I need to treat myself & get away from all these stresses.

By the way thank you for everyone that greeted me & tried cheering me up, I appreciatte every bit of it. Thanks Klaudine for writing that thing for me. Thanks Jezz, Lauren, Jonnie, Julius, & Reymar for coming to the park & also special shout to Cate, Edward, Kristine, Rainier, Ivy, Ashley, Gloria, Jayar, Richard & Richard's girlfriend?(i forgot her name lol) for making mine julius's & jerome's birthday fun! thanks for all the cheers, jokes, laughs, love, & drinking up for our birthday to be fun :)

-

NTS: look for a place to go camping.

Haven't updated since what Thursday? lol, Friday took the day off and went off with my mom to do our nails, like finally even if it was just for a bit it felt nice finally paying for myself and stuff. It also felt nice doing because of the outcome since I had a day off at work and didn't have to worry about getting ready and blah. Me nd baby got our pair of chucks that day as well =] they look cute when we wear them together lol.Then we watched Bruno, it was hilarious but gross. Please don't bring kids and go watch that movie, it's honestly not for kids. Friday was also Athina's & James's one year, so shout out to both of you ! Congratulations, im happy for both of you =] & love you both
-
Saturday, had work from 12 to 7 and baby picked me up went home, changed, then went to my god daughter's birthday party. It was pretty cool just hanging with fam & boyfriend, I think my life is finally settling. I think that now I'm finally realizing what real life is, just a taste of it at least. No more immature ways, no more slangs, no more of that old things i used to do as a kid. I'm kind of proud of myself for moving on with life with no one stopping me.


Picture of me, Jana (god daughter's sister), & the boyfriend
She really knew how to pose, we taught her well =P

Sunday was good, went to church, then took out my little brother to play ball with my boyfriend, even though it was boring, it was fun watching my lil brother & my boyfriend running ball.
-
yesterday was my work day as well, it was pretty slow, but I'm sick so i didn't mind the slowness, and today I have a day off, so Im going to see the boyfriend =], tomorrow is work from 3 - 9 & thursday from 10 - 9 , good freaking hours, tiring but worth it.

-dee

"im flossing my teeth"

OMG OMG OMG I'm officially G2 certified bitchessss =] I'm so happy, I feel like I've been waiting for it for too long ..Anyways I can finally drive now, when I get my insurance lol I can't wait.
Anyways two days ago went shopping with my boyfriend, tell me how I bought a 135$ guess bag & a 250 guess shoe, LOL then I changed my mind, but I can't take it back sooooo too bad for me lol.
I've been working every frikking day.. I need a break, but it's whatever cuz it's money.
I got work today again, and I hope it won't be as busy ..

..

Yesterday was July 1st, Canada day & my 5 months with the boyfriend. Ended up watching public enemy, but it was so boring, for me at least. I'm sorry babe I just really think it's boring lol. Surprisingly my dad knew bout all these things aha so that was a good conversation during dinner time. After chilling at home baby had to go home, & it made me sad since we didn't spend a lot of time due to the fact that it was a wednesday. What a frikking holiday.
To the people that said a quick prayer for me to be able to get a new job.. GUESS WHAT.. I GOT THE JOB :) i'm so happy. & they actually give me good frikkin hours. Thank you LORD. I just really hated the fact that I worked at the other place without getting that much hours. Today was supposed to be my interview, but they actually made me start. I worked for almost 6 hours today, which is tiring but thinking about it, that's what I asked for. & I know it will be worth it :)

-
& for you .. my one & only, I just want to say thank you for the 5 months, like always for putting up with my attitude issues, for spending every time you can with me, for treating me like no one else did, for not being afraid to speak up when you know I'm wrong, for being there no matter what, for those talks I never had with anyone else, for being yourself around me, & most of all thank you for seeing something in me that made you change your old ways, & lastly thank you for the 'sorrys' you've been stating lately that would just make the fight unworthy of anything. I LOVE YOU UGLY <3

-dee

GROSS WEATHER.

So ever since Friday, all i've been hearing was something bout Michael Jackson or his songs or something. I know he died and all, and a lot of people are sad about it. But does it mean that you guys have to play his songs and stuff just because he died. When clearly you guys didn't listen to him when he was alive. Well too bad, we can't bring him back to life now can we? Saturday came and picked up Klaudine from work with my boyfriend playing MJ's songs and they go on ranting and ganging up on me. But whatever you guys love me :) lol. After dropping Klaudine home after her work, me & boyfriend went to my little cousin's birthday party at Sheraton hotel. Sheraton wasn't that biggie to me cuz I'm always there, but when I saw our rooms, it was sick. 3rd floor and there was a back door that was few steps away from the pool and the weight room. The pool was whirlpool meaning the water was heated, there was a hot tub, and a big ass gym. When we got settled me & baby decided to walk around downtown and watch The Hangover, it was funny but at the same time gross lol. Since we already watched transformers and there wasn't anything else to watch =P. I also saw Justin Alvero, LOL i remembered those days with Athina & Alyssa. Around 1230ish, me & baby dropped my parents to get their cars and went home :) It was a fun day.
Sunday was just work, gosh I was so tired that I slept at 9. It even came to the point where baby called me last night and i just slept on him, sorry babe.
Today I officially started my sleeping in days :) lol, I slept in until 1. Felt so nice. I woke up to really crappy weather, hopefully this weather doesnt continue until wednesday since it's a holiday and it's our 5 months :) I'm excited, I wonder what his gift is..lol kidding. But ya I guess I'm just going to clean my room for the whole day. Throw out all the garbage I dont need anymore and stuff. hopefully the day goes by quick. I miss my boyfriend =(

con-GRAD-ulations.

I can finally say I'm officially done & over high school. Like what Andrew Song our Valedictorian stated, our life is like a movie and we're moving on to make the best movie out of our life. I'm proud of everyone that made it through four years, the memories will last, the friendships, the hardships, the skipping, the easy teachers, the dramas, etc. everything was worth while. I must say that lining up and spending the whole day standing on heels never felt better. I got diploma, it was something I worked for and I've earned it. Now it's just the beginning of my real life. No more kiddish things, this is where reality begins. I was quite disappointed that the special people I wanted to be there wasn't there, I won't say much bout my night but all I can say was breaking down after all my stress never felt so good. It just took one simple action to break me down, and my balloon of tears overflowed with tears for the whole night. I should go shopping to make me feel better, but me & baby are going shopping next week. I believe? =) so I guess I should just get ready to see him tonight. perhaps play some ball and enjoy the weather =]

YAY, my internet is back.. Today is the hottest day of the week, frikking 35 degrees out. So decided to spend the day with my boyfriend.
Grad is tomorrow, hopefully it's not long even though i know it will be but whatever.

Ill blog later.
-dee

no mood.

Why is today giving me sh*t, honestly I have been home since yesterday minding my own business until everyone decided to ruin it. Like first I'm at the library right now because my mom dragged me here to help her with something because BELL is having troubleshooting with their internet. Geez, Rogers was so much more better. Why tell me why my boyfriend would use 'reverse phsychology' on me? like who does that, no offence. But are you just trying to find a way to piss me off? and you go off telling me that I always pick the fights? but whatever. Like honestly once I say I dont have facebook anymore, I DONT. Like let's be real here. Anyways I just wanted to vent off things here since I think thats the only thing that can help me throught times like this.
I just can't wait to go out with him tomorrow, and watch the hangover? It's gun be such a nice day and hopefully everything goes well.
Ill blog more later if Bell is quick enough to fix problems.

-DEE

fina-efin-lly

Today was my last exam, it was more of like the hardest and one of the most important exams I had to do. It's Chem. I couldn't think of anything for the whole weekend but this exam. No matter how much I studied I was still confused with a lot of things. I was even complaining to my classmates about how nervous and about how much I didn't wanna do it. But like what baby said it's better to get part marks done nothing at all. Surprisingly the exam was fairly easy, I mean there wasn't any surprises that wasn't on the review. I actually knew how to answer them. Thank you Lord for answering my prayers . After exams me, Lauren & Jenny went to eat pho. Wow that's the last time i ate at that restaurant being a highschool student. The memories throughout the years in that restaurant are still fresh lol. Can't wait for grad, and I can finally say I'm proud of myself.

-
Friday was good, after baby running 10 laps at the Gonzaga track, we went to watch the proposal, what a funny movie. And saturday was really really really flop plus it was gloomy outside which made it worst. Until baby came over round 930 to save my day =) mom bought pizza and me and baby rented from hell, which was actually the first horror movie that I didn't cover my eyes and cling on to baby. Funny thing is we both fell asleep lol cuz it was so long.

Anyways Sunday was Father's day. I'm thankful for the dad that god has given me, I love him a lot. And as for my other dad, i miss you, the fact that you don't recognize me as much and the fact that you don't show the proper way of having a daughter hurts me a lot. I know it's not you're fault that we haven't seen each other for almost 10 years maybe more. But the thought that you remember me and give me a call once in a while honestly wouldn't kill you. But I guess you have your own life now and I hope you still will never remember your one and only Danielle, Like what my aunts and my grandparents always tell me, "you're dad will always love you no matter what". Those words are the only thing that are making me not forget about you. I know it's mean but you can't blame a child that you left and never once remembered. Regardless, I was thought to forgive no matter the situation, forgiveness is love and I love you. Hope that connects. Happy Fathers Day, even if you're not reading this, at the end of the day you still are my father, I hope to see you at the proper time.

- DEE

FLOP.

LOL, just read Athina's blog and that picture of their future son is cute lmao. He's pudgey wifey :P. I'm happy that James is doing his hard work on your relationship, honestly, after the long years of knowing James, this the time I can honestly say that I'm proud of him! I'm happy for you two and I love you two a lot :).
As for Barrie, IT'S FLOP. Stupid weather had to ruin everything. I think I'm going to let Athina & James have their cute moment together or am I sensing the 'third wheel' status again? OMG, last summer was already enough for me guys. Almost everyday I was a third wheel, but it's okay :) lol. Since the boyfriend doesn't want to spend the day with me which is very dry I guess I'll have to find something else to do. Is my face that ugly that he doesn't wanna spend Saturdays with me no more? hmm. I think so lol. Who's down? movie? eat? shopping? what? whatever, I don't want to be stuck here. Anyways my exam review is being anal right now. I don't understand jack shit, but when I look at my tests for those units I did a pretty good job.. But whatever I'll blog later, or tomorrow, or whenever..

Later days.
-Dee

P.s.
I honestly slept last night feeling contented and happy. Happy that I thought he finally came to his senses that he should do something bout this. I mean it's breaking us, making us fall apart and yet we are blinded by the fact that it's the other persons fault. I guess I should just let things flow, it is what it is now. I'm not just blaming it all on you, but me too. But the fact that It's so hard to get within that wall you built is making me lose hope. I just hope you realize, that it isn't a joke no more.

I miss you.

I miss the times when we would fight and I didn't have to give in & you would just say 'i miss you ' and everything would be fine. I miss the cute moments we would have together just staring at each other like we were the only ones in the world. I miss the 'I love yous' that you would let me know every minute of everyday. I miss laughing with you like nothing else mattered. I miss the big bear hugs you would give me in front of everyone. I miss the late night phone calls, when we would just talk and talk. I miss you telling me that I was the only one for you. I miss the times when I would cry and you'd just comfort me and make sure I was okay or when I would cry and you'd just kiss me and forgive the things I have said or done. I miss the cheesyness you would tell me. I miss the times I felt that I was the only one that mattered for you. I miss knowing everything, from where you are to what time you're coming to see me. I miss just cuddling on my couch with you and falling asleep together. I miss the times you would surprise me by telling me you would skip work and spend the day with me even if it means we would just sleep on my bed until noon. I miss you worrying about me all the time. I miss you telling me that 'US' is your future. I miss all the silliness we would never have now adays. I miss getting along with you. I miss knowing the fact I didn't have to worry about a thing, cuz you got me no matter what. I miss the little sweet letters you would always give me because you thought of me wherever you were. I also miss the person that gave me a promise ring and promised me all the things he could and actually make an effort to do them. I miss the old you, that didn't get annoyed by me all the time. I miss the old you that never wanted to go even if I tell you to go home because you fell asleep while watching with me. I miss fixing your clothes. I miss the silly time on the court when you would change and you would hide behind me so no one can see you.I miss the tears of joy. I miss our little walks at the park when we would just talk about our relationship & our future plans. I miss you agreeing with me and promising me you'll do certain things and looking me in the eye. I miss the old you that would never blame me about anything. I miss the person that never thought bad things about me.

I miss you, I miss us, I miss everything..
I want my ugly back.

No matter the situation, as I said



I'll always love you.


-DEE

mr. unfaithful

SAY HELLO TO MR. UNFAITHFUL

signs he's cheating..

1. Mr. Mood swings.
He will act differently towards you by either being extra kind or extremely mean. Your partner may choose to love you more than ever by treating you affectionately at times and other times he may be acting aggressively and picking a fight about something that he never used to before. Everything becomes your fault, you are a tyrant and he starts saying that he feels suffocated. The next day you are the most beautiful creature he has ever seen in his life, you are the moon and the stars, the whole world, you are... well you get my point. Unless they have been diagnosed with bipolar depression, this is a major sign that something is up.

2. Change of routine.
This is also a major sign that he may be spending his time with someone else. For example, if he has been calling you at 9 p.m. every day in the past and now you don’t get that call anymore for a significant period of time, and by that I mean approximately 2 weeks, then you know something is going on. If everything else is constant in routine, then the behavior that follows that routine should be the same also. This is a major warning sign and along with it come other signs that something else is occupying his time.

3. Change in leisure time with "the boys".
If suddenly your partner starts spending more time with his friend or friends and less time with you this could mean that the friend or friends may be another girl that he would rather spend his time with. Don’t misinterpret this sign. If you have just had an argument and he storms out upset and doesn’t come back for an hour or two, this is not an indication of infidelity. However, if for a few weeks now every other night is "Hun, I’m going out with my boys", then you have every right to be suspicious.

4. What I’d like to call "The mystery man"
All of sudden everything becomes a secret. You don’t know where he is and who he is with. He gives you one word answers to questions of his whereabouts. All of a sudden he screens your calls or hardly ever picks up when you call and takes hours to return your messages. He all of a sudden has to take grandma to the doctor or his pet had an appointment you had no idea about. Work became more demanding or his best friend had a crisis. Basically any excuse that he can come up with to cover the time that he went missing.

5. The NEW friend.
One day within your conversation your partner reveals that he has become friendly with someone of the opposite sex. He tells you that this new friend is in his life but that they are "just friends". If this is common practice in your relationship, all the power to you. But in most serious relationships friends of the opposite sex don’t come into the picture unless they are also in a relationship and you hang out all together as couples. This new friend may become a love interest some day.

6. LESS SEX/NO SEX
I was thinking how to put this in a more respectful way but I am just going to come out and say it. You have now become sexually frustrated. No more sex or a lot less sex with your partner. This is a major sign that your mate is getting some somewhere else. You try and try, you put on your special perfume, highest pumps you own and your best outfit. You have used all the tricks that you know would have had him begging for more. Nothing works! Well listen, unless he has some great excuse, like a nasty rash he doesn’t want to infect you with (but then again, that’s a sign within itself), there is no good enough reason why he would not want to enjoy a great night of exciting fun.

7. Change in grooming practice.
He all of a sudden starts to smell better than ever, wears nicer clothes, shines his shoes and sprays a little extra cologne when he goes out. Well, well if it isn’t Mr. Fabio himself! The days at the gym may start getting longer and instead of 2 days a week it has now turned into 5. Clean shaven all the time, he is hardly the man you used to know. Believe me, this new grooming practice is not because his mom made a comment about his appearance, it’s because there is someone he has his eye on. There is no way a man will go out of his way to look better for you now; he has become comfortable and secure in what he has and it’s time for something new. So, ladies, keep an eye out for this one.

I'm currently at the library supposed to be studying for CHEM lol. Along with Athina, buggin James to come pick her up, and Klaudine trying to study. Geez man my brain is hurting like a mother. But before this me & Klaudine went to Denny's to eat breakfast. We're fulllllll. lol big time. Anyways I got cosmo exam tomorrow, but clearly I'm not studying for that since it's not that imprortant. But whatever.

Plans this week are study study study,
then friday shopping, get Athina & Klaudine after their exam. Then watch a movie with Klaudine, then see my baby at 10.

LOL @ Athina doing 2 questions on her Math exam. <3

Exams started today, I'm officially over & done Religion :) my hard work of studying yesterday along with Klaudine, Athina & friends payed off. Like I literally had to go in one of those study rooms so I can concentrate lol, since all we were doing at the table were laughing and fooling around. I finally seen my wifey, after a long time, I missed her gosh. But like what I told her before I left the library 'ill be coming out of my shell soon, and you're mine' lol. Special thanks to my boyfriend that brought me to the Erin Mills library to study with me and explain the things I didn't understand :) thank you hun. That's one of the advantages of having a smart boyfriend :) lol, then he treated me out for dinner, since I wasn't that hungry I just shared with him lol. Sorry for pinching you a lot :) .. lol remember what pain is =P

Tomorrow, is my day off, which means studying again. But I don't need to study much since it's cosmetology. Hope I can see baby tomorrow, and/or Friday :)

- Dee

LOL, failed my chemistry lab exam.. well i think. but honestly everyone did. that's how you know this time it's not only me slacking.. too much stress, but ill be done with it in a week. then I'll be free :), when i said i was going to hibernate i did lol. but im gunn come out of my shell soon :):):), can't wait. I missed my friends, miss the movie nights, I miss the random chillages everywhere, I miss downtown with Athina, I miss summer 08.

if you guys have nothing better to say bout my situation, jst keep your comment to yourself. got a problem with my posts, then don't read my posts. who invited you to read them anyways? no one, so if you're gun hate keep the hate to yourself thank you very much ..

WTF, i'm so stressed. STRESSED MORE THAN EVER.. stressed to the point where I let it ruin the relationship, ruin things that I have left, ruin everything. FUCK ME!.. when it comes to stress, I'm such a sucky person. So much isu's, tests, exams, papers due, etc. and so little time..

Thank you for holding me down, & holding on to me no matter the situation. Forgive my stubbornness & the hardships I put you through, I swear I'll owe you one when this is all over. I love you.

-

yea , we've had our fights and we've put each other through hell . We've picked each other up when one of us fell . We'll always be together ,because i honestly don't know where I'd be without you .

So about my last post, I guess I'll keep this one .. lol anyways, the weekend was bomb digity. Friday was one of my best Fridays yet. Baby really made up for me missing prom. Being away from all the crap & stress & blah's we're both going through, even just for a day & the next really felt good. I guess I can also say that, that was his gift for me for our fourth monthsary :). It's cute, and it should be a must again.. Perhaps my birthday? this time, my treat :). Over all it was so fun, it also brought down the troubles we were having as for our relationship. I guess we just really missed each other. Watching fireworks was such a cute scenery, I so want fireworks when I get married, or like when something special happens lol. Wonderland was also bomb, even though we were both tired, I have 4 new stuffed toys :) lol, the family is growing aha. No one really ever did any of these things for me until now, & I'm loving it.. Thank you Baby, YOU'RE THE BEST!! but you gotta stop spoiling me! I LOVEEEEEE YOU

Now, it's back to reality.. few more days and I'm finally going to be stress free. Can't wait =P


i so want a copy of this pleaseeeee ? =]

no more facebook,
no more blogger,
no more nothing
for now ..

CIAO!

UN-stressed?

I'm finally done my cosmetology practical exam. It was pretty hard doing Maryse's hair today because of her daughter, but she was so cute. I love her to death lol. Thank God I finished without having to cry, I was about to but no. I'm still stressed but I think I'll get through it.

can't wait for tomorrow :), I really really really really really really need a get away. I also really really really really really really need to finish packing lol. FUCK MY LIFE.

SO like I think I need a new layout. I'm getting bored of my one right now. Wow for the past week until now I haven't skipped a day of school, & I'm hella proud of myself :) .. Shit, I have two weeks of school left and I'm still procrastinating about my ISU's that are due by next week. KILL ME NOW! just kidding, I'd rather live lol. The last few days of high school is going to be really rough for me, but what hard work pays off. I'm proud of myself, I'm actually graduating on time without failing one class & having more credits than I need, when I fully doubted myself before.

I don't know if it's just me or what.. but I feel like right now there's a lot of tension between us. The way you talk to me is so different compared to the way you talked to me months ago. I feel like this is the only way I can vent this out, & don't get me wrong I'm doing this not because I'm hating but because I care, I still care, & always will. Ya, we don't fight every night, but I feel like you're getting bored of the same old me. Not showing interest in me hurts me, don't get me wrong but I seek for your interest too, I seek for every single thing. I don't know if I'm thinking right but I want attention from you, I don't wanna sound selfish but I am. Just because I learned how to depend on you when no one else is there but a friend or two. I'm not trying to fight with you, if that's what you think. I know you're gunn bring this up but just know that other than telling you, this is another way of me venting out. I know we promised certain things to each other that I personally think helped us to get to this point of our relationship. Some of those promises is to tell each other if feelings changed, hearts are hurt, feelings are hurt, etc. I have a lot of things going in my mind right now & I know you do too. But right now you are the center of my world and if I'm not yours please let me know. I won't get mad, all i ask for you is to be honest with me. Don't you think that after what we've been through I know you by now? I do, & I know when something is up or something is wrong. I just don't want to have the thought of losing you slowly because you didn't tell me early enough. I know that you like the reassurance that I give you in every possible best way that I can, but I would like some reassurance too. I'm sorry, but baby I'm selfish.

-
ANYWAYS .. awkward, ummmmm YA UP UP UP UP UP OMG.

Honestly, RUSSEL looks like Ray when he was a little kid. I wan't a stuffed RUSSEL :) I'm so getting one if they make one.. DISNEY STORE here i come :) ♥





-DEE

HAPPPPPY 4 MONTHS BABY! :)

We made it omgaah, so much frikking hardships we went through for the past four months honestly. But I'm glad, like what Klaudine says.. That we're not fighting, that we're actually starting to know how to put up with each other. Well you at least, I know I still have mood swings here & there, & I'm sorry, you know I don't mean them.. Last night I was praying to God that hopefully we will continue to put up with each other no matter what. I know that God will give both of us the strength & patience for this.. =] I LOVE YOU !

OMG, i can't believe exams are coming up soon. I'm stressing over my CPT's & stuff like honestly, especially Religion's CPT. Oh well I'm going to make it up I don't care lol. DRAG ME TO HELL, was so scary, holy I wanted to shit my pants. I still wanna see UP, since that little boy Russel looked like Ray when he was a little kid, LOL KLAUDINE the picture :P .. I DONT CARE, i'm watching it :)

Can't wait for the weeeeeekend :) yay

AAH, college stuff.. I gotta pay so much, I'm poor, I don't want my parents paying everything, blah blah blah.. So much responsibilities to accomplish yet so little time. Good thing is I'm seeing the boyfriend today, that's the only good thing in my life. Better than nothing. I still thank God that he's helping me through every step of the way. I also want the rain to GO AWAY, little RAY wants to play :) lol. Since I know my boyfriend misses basketball already but not me, lol kidding, i love you. And please print my OSAP application things! fuck my life :(. I just can't wait til next weekend, I need to get away from all the stress that's bugging me right now.

But whatever, I should be off to doing something productive like cleaning before I go see the boyfriend :).

- DEE

ew, omg i just realized it said BLOGPOT on the top which makes me look really dumb ahah. well i am sometimes :) but whatever. We had our grade 12 retreat today, thank God it didn't rain, Me & Jamila we're praying pretty hard aha. The guy from that guest band we had were awesome especially the drummer guy lol. I haven't gotten sick of their songs & their faces even though I've seen them during grade 9 retreat, when I was a leader for this year's grade 9's and my grade 12 retreat. We won all the games we played :). But ya after everything I was exhausted like a bitch. I asked my dad to pick me up from school cuz I really NEEDED a nap. The nap that I took was noiceee, until my mom had to come in my room to look for my blow-drier, honestly we have two & she loves using my stuff. Whatever I guess I owe her anyways from losing the 300$ bracelet that she gave me =( lol plus dropping her coach bracelet & broke it unfortunately, but whatever she gave the matching necklace back which made me a bit happy hah. No school tomorrow yay, finally spending time with my boyfriend after a few days of not seeing each other. Since I've been busy with school & stuff. I so can't wait to get my G2, & I so want a car for my 18th birthday. OMG, I really gotta start working on my cosmetology exam portfolio, I started on my introduction already well I made baby write it for me :) lol. & I'm also gunn make him do everything since he's way more artistic than I am. There's like a few days of school left & I'm excited to go to college. I CANT FUCKING WAIT :) ...

oh btw Klaudine if you're reading this, sorry ..
I'm too lazy to upload lol.. love you <3


-ds

thankful..

You've got to understand that it took me a lot of courage to make myself come to the realization that everything that I've ever wanted & needed is found within you. And for me to put everything aside again, everything that you once broke, is a remarkable task that took a lot of strength & faith in me. They say sometimes people put walls up, not because they want to block people out, but because they want to see who cares enough to knock them down. You know me like no one else does because I never was able to let anyone in, & you don't even know how glad & thankful I am that I gave you the chance. You stayed at our best, yet you stuck at it at our worse, & proved to me what truth in love still has. The sky is the limit & true love really is forever.

I wanted to find a guy that'll fight for me & what I believe in. Not fight my fights, but to fight for me & fight for my love. I wanted to find someone that knows when to hold me, when to comfort me, when to hold my hand. I wanted someone that'll love me for who I am, someone that won't change me or try to. Someone that knows me inside out, not someone who thinks they do. A guy that will listen to what I have to say & try to help me out. Who would stay awake with me all night, just to hear my voice. Who would know when to give me space & understand why. Someone who wouldn't leave me & love me forever. I wanted to find a guy that'll love me & we would be together forever.

..i found it in you
I Love You Always.

- DEE

LAUREN ELIZABETH GABARRO ROMANO

for some reason, when it comes to you I'm always emotional. I decided to dedicate this one to you, hopefully you'll like it :). I was looking at my previous pictures & there were tons of me & you. Those times we would mission down to Reymar's to wake him up. Member, 'loser & a half' & 'half a loser'? lol Chris Paul is too funny huh? NOT. The times we would skip first just for the fun of it & hide in the washroom so Mr. Flynn won't see you lol. Just the stupid moments we have & all the memories that we created. Remember those old boothies? You still have them lol. I wanna let you know that whatever happened to us, it was a joy ride. An exciting ride that brought us everywhere lol, even chilling with just the randoms. I will always keep all of those with me & treasure them. The 'FAUZLE' lol, even though it's rusty & shit, I still have it. I also wanna thank you for the times you had my back, & was ready to beat up the guy that made me cry. All the realtalks we would have. The times when your dad would drive crazy & I'll be at the backseat dying lol. Looking back, I don't regret anything. I know that you're happy with our situation now, cuz I know we're making a progress right? I really hope so, well at least in my eyes. Though sometimes it seems like you could care less or I could care less. I know deep down inside that we both know that we still do care bout each other, and always goin to be there for each other. I want you to know that you can always count on me when you have problems, whenever you need to talk. I'm not here, I'm there =] lol. With everything moving so fast, I get so emotional sometimes because I miss everything. & I don't care about the others that's reading this. All I wanna say to you is always keep your head high no matter what, you're a strong girl. I LOVE YOU !

"If you can look at the sunset and smile, then you still have hope. If you can see the good in other people, then you still have hope. If you meet new people with a trace of excitement and optimism, then you still have hope. If you give people the benefit of the doubt, then you still have hope. If the suffering in others still fills you with pain, then you still have hope. If you still watch love stories or want endings to be happy, then you still have hope. If you can look at the past and smile, then you still have hope. If, when faced with bad and told everything is futile, you can still look up at the end of the conversation and say "yeah, but..." then you still have so much hope. If you still offer your hand of friendship to those who have touched your life, then you still have hope. If you refuse to let a friendship die or accept that it must end, then you, very much, still have hope."

always,
dee.♥

Watched fireworks on Sunday :) all the way at Niagara, I know you might say crazy. But it was a nice place to go to. We also checked hotels and stuff, made me walk so far *cough cough*. I thought that the fireworks were amazing & was such a romantic place just to be with my boyfriend :). After the fireworks going nuts, we decided to go to midway to play some games. OMG we got like 500+ tickets damn, that game is too addicting lol. As in addicting that we finished all the cards that was in that machine slot. As usual choosing a prize for the tickets took long, since my boyfriend can't seem to make up his mind sometimes lol. The ride home was quiet & cold, I was mad tired and as usual fell asleep again..

Yesterday was quiet exciting, went to my grandparents house.. I DROVE THERE :) i'm so proud of my self because I drove from my house to Dufferin St... than back to my house again. Didn't get to spend time with baby since he went to the movies with his fam :)..

Today, I felt like the weekend wasn't long enough. Honestly, I just can't wait to finish. Watched a movie in Religion again as usual. Test in cosmo & lesson in Chem. Everything is just usuals lol. I had my driving lesson again today as well & I did a pretty good job :)... I miss my baby, I won't be able to see him till Thursday. Friday is such a downer as well since it's wondergrad, & I won't be able to see him til Saturday.

Should I work on sunday with ian? hmmmm.. we'll see

so the week was ummm so/so, though seriously whenever it rains tear falls. I thought April showers bring May flowers? I guess it's the opposite. But whatever, we're both making progress, *knock on wood* i don't wanna jinx anything. I know, that it's going to take a lot of hard work & a lot of sacrifices to make it work. Time will also tell if things are meant to be, but I know they are :) we both know they are.. I know that hurtful words has been said & hurtful things has been done, but what can we do.. it is what it is, we gotta forget bout the past & live for our future.

Anyways, Friday didn't go to school, & baby decided to come home early from work. He picked me up & went for lunch at Erin Mills, we went to Playdium after lol, I never really appreciated what Playdium could offer until Friday, when for the first time ever I played nuff games lol. Klaudine met up with us & all of us started playing every game possible lmao. It was fun until I had to go to work.. =( Baby came over after my work then just chilled at my house. Yesterday was fun, got to spend time with family for a bit because they were seeking attention from me lol, then also got to spend time with my boyfriend. Watched Angels & Demons after walking around Yorkdale. It was such a sick movie, the places they shot the movie at was awesome.

I should go to church soon, but people in my house are loafting. I wanna watch fireworks tonight or tomorrow.. But whatevesss .. iI'll blog more later..


ds

Friday was such a funny yet so tiring day lol, Me & baby rented a movie called Old School. Trying to scare my brother with it being a horror movie when it's really a comedy hah. My brother fell asleep so he went upstairs & Baby fell asleep on my lap as well, I also fell asleep for a bit, lol. but whatever. the night was fun :).

Saturday, went to wonderland with boyfriend and omg the stupid rain sucks !! It was literally on & off for the whole day. Took some boothies that turned out really cute i must say =]. But ya back to wonderland, omg i wanted to kill my boyfriend. Asshole, dragged me to every ride when he fully knows that i'm scared of heights. Like god damn Behemoth? no one can even drag me to rides like that lol. Wild Beast hurted my head really bad. Lol baby "IM A MAN" ahahaha & screaming on my ears asshole!! but overall it was so fun. Went to eat at an all you can eat Japanese restaurant near p-mall right after we watch the movie obsessed lol. Geez baby about the spider legs.! my ass

Sunday, I worked with kuya Ian, OMG I SERIOUSLY MADE 40 of those damn things. Mother's day.

Today, I got my new phoneee yay :) no more crap phone fina-fucking-ly, i miss the boyfriend dearly.. it's so gay that I won't even be able to see him on saturday, and won't be able to spend that much time with him on friday, but it's okay there's always monday :) angels & demons :) ..

no matter what you do to me, I'm still here. for some odd reason, i stick around and put up with all your mood swings and unkind words. i just let your comments roll off me into a puddle on the floor. i make up excuses on why you didn't call, try to think of all the answers. i keep going back for more even though sometimes you push me away. i don't know if i can do better ,but do i really want to? you're quick to push me down when all i want is to be brought up. when i walk out for good, when i really gain the strength i need then maybe you will see. maybe you can look back and say, "wow that girl really did love me."

& for the record.. i need you more than anything right now, i dont want to be that dependent on someone that will never come through for me. but without you im falling, and im scared that you will be the only one that can ever catch me, and im scared that you will never be there to do that.

dedicated to you ..

I haven't updated in awhile,I think ever since April 27th? not sure but yaa. This is hopefully gunn be a long, I also decided to dedicate this post to my one & only Ray Anthony. But before everything, I should update with the things I haven't updated in awhile.. I've been busy with school things, work things, & such things. Too much bills to pay, I also changed my phone & number, =] which pisses me off, cuz I wanna change my phone again. The situation with the best friend have been okay lately, things have been loosening up a bit & it makes me happy cuz it's a progress :). The weather lately is sooo frikking beautiful, I just can't wait to finish school. I've been skipping too much, either I'm exhausted from the night before, or lazy, or spending time with boyfriend, or sick. Right now I'm sick, but don't worry guys I don't have that swine flu thing. Lol. I've also been doing my driving lessons, and yeeee my instructor already booked my G2, on June 9th, EXCITEEEEEEED. Anyways I should really get into my dedication part huh? =] this might not makes sense since im out of it today but meeh, it's the thought that counts right?

First of all, Happy belated 3 months.. wow can you believe it? it's been three months & it feels like forever, not saying it's a bad thing, but it's a good thing when it comes to a realization of what we've been through, three months is long lol. I know people will probably say oh ya no that's only three months, it's nothing, but in this case, no one knows but me & you. I wanna recall all the memories I can recall from day one. Remember that night at Timmies, when we watched unborn? The night we both can't forget, knowing that we haven't seen each other for awhile felt really nice when all the awkwardness between us was replaced with laughter & joy huh? & member Lauren calling me, & she was drunk? aha. The talks we would have bout me & you being together after that. I didn't wanna give in just because I thought I was going to get hurt once again. You did all anything to win my heart, from singing to me until I fall asleep, meeting my parents, picking me up, listening to me while I cry from my problems with my mom or my best friend, help me out with my stressful life, etc. Soon enough I gave in, FEB 1 2009, perfect day, perfect time, perfect everything =]. I'd never forget that day, you picked me up from my house during breakfast aha, & that's when everything began. I know our first month was good, but we had our ups & downs as well. Remember Valentine's day? when we didn't know whether to stay here or go to Niagara, but we ended up going anyways =P. I thank you for that day because no one ever did something like that for me ever. You already know all the memories we've built after that. Going bowling is always fun with you :), then eating at the infamous Denny's afterward lol. Playing ball has also never been so much fun with anyone, cuz you actually play with me unlike the others that has no patience. Watching your games, & being proud of you makes me so happy :). When you would just chill with my brother, I find it so cute that even my parents wants him calling you kuya. I must say that all the things we have gone through makes me really proud of me & you. They say that the first months are the happiest, but in our case it's surely not lol. I have cried a whole lot of tears just to let this one go. I know that the past week has been really iffy for the both of us, but what happened? we got through it again. I'm so settled. I wanna let you know that I have, I do, & always will try my best to be patient with you & try to understand where you're coming from. I'm also sorry for the things I have said & done that jeopardized this relationship. I'm also asking for you to do the i think two things I asked from you. I know it takes time, & I am waiting. I know we're gunn get through all of this hand in hand. I just also ask for you not to do shady things like .. ill keep it to myself, but you know what i mean. Like what i said, i'm not up for games, so please be serious bout me as well. I love you. ♥

that like didn't make sense at all. (N) but i hope you liked it :)..


always,
dee

aaah, today i had to go to school just because i have to lol. I'm feeling so grumpy lately and sorry for the people that are affected, *coughcough* baby lol. They were even teasing me at school about being a gator because I was snapping, like gosh shut up :) it's okay I love y'all. My head phones broke for some reason but I'll fix them. I saw what Lauren did to herself because of the whole situation and seriously best imma cut off your nails soon. OMG, I screwed up on my Religion test today lmao, I literally left the whole thing blank. The teacher was making fun of me cuz of that, but whatever, at least I gave in the bonus part which was my notes and it was 15 points lol. Lunch was fun, we kept playing president and I kept losing, then I kept winning. Mine & Lauren's speed game was not very speedy lmao. Cosmo was fun, we had a presentation from the head professor & two students of Marca College. From what I saw Marca is such a good college for Hair & Esthetics, which makes me think of wanting to go there now, 8 gran for one year, it's pretty okay huh? well it's a private college. Chemistry test tomorrow, but class today is so funny, everyone started talking bout the website FML lmao it's too jokes because our teacher is like our friend & laughs with us. I literally wanted to pee, and everyone kept making me laugh. But whatever is clever.

I'm so excited to see baby tonight :) I miss him, & I just wanna have a chill afternoon/night-ish with him, since i've been being grumpy lately lol. 2 DAYS BABE :) <3 I can't wait. LOVE YOU LOTS!



- dee

Since I stayed home today I decided I was gunna change mine & baby's layout I needed a simple one cuz yaa. I'll prolly change mine again soon. Anyways I slept last night & woke up to an unbearable tummy ache. So I decided to stay home, I know I told myself I wasn't going to skip anymore but I can't possibly go to school like this especially it's a liturgy schedule. Me & him had such a good 'realtalk' this morning while on his way to work, about all the stuff we've been through, and our past relationships and stuff. It's so refreshing & it's such a great feeling knowing that I'm the first girl he's had a serious relationship with. I'm glad that he's taking this seriously like how I am taking it as well. I think that praying to God every night for this helped. It helped that it's amusing that no matter how stubborn we both are, no matter how opposite we are from each other, and no matter how hard the challenges that we face, we still both are here caring & holding on to each other. All in all everything is great :). Anyways I gotta get ready, it's so ugly outsideee gross & I have to drive in this kind of weather? sheeesh-ka-bob.

aaaah, today was um an okay day. What a 'SWIT' day once again except for the fact that i'm not on the schedule for work. WTH, I looked at the schedule & there was only 3 people on the stupid thing like.. But whatevs I gotta call my manager & see what's up. I decided to go to the doctors alone after checking my schedule just because I was being nice to my mom :) she was sick so I decided that she didn't need to come with me. I was there from the time baby left union station until he got there to pick me up. Like that was prolly like an hour.. holy chamoly.. But thanks baby for picking me up and coming with me to the doctor lol we'll keep whatever the doctor said a secret :). I have no choice but to drink medicine & follow what he said. "wow, you're in your work shoes with dress pants & north stars t-shirt?" LMFAO sorry I just had to make fun of you on that one ;) it's all love. At least I got to see baby today and I got to pinch him cuz of the silly things he did. Spent a little more time with him until he had to go to ball practice =( I was sad but at the same time it made me happy since I was bummy from my schedule at work. Was supposed to get our land pass today but no cuz I finished at the doctors around 7, which was very gay like my boyfriend lol.

Anyways, KLAUDINE ... SHE'S MURKED :) <3 lol

gotta do homework which is another bummer while waiting for boyfriend to finish ball practice.


- dee

WHAT A 'SWIT' DAY..

URGH, I worked yesterday & I woke up late this morning so imma go to school soon. At least I get to take a nap cuz I got work tonight again boo.. It's such a nice day out, frikking 22 degrees but apparently it's gunn rain in the afternoon. Work was okay, it's so chill, Kuya Ian, Greg, & Linda passed by making fun of me cuz I look so crap on my uniform lol. I'm scared to work alone next week cuz I really don't know my stuff yet but it takes time for me to get used to it. I literally fell asleep on the phone with Ray last night, sorry baby I was tired lol. But I was so hyper when I got home wasn't I? =P Too bad baby couldn't pick me up from work yesterday, I wanted to see him but it's kay cuz he's picking me up tonight =) & I'm excited to see him :). It's such a SWIT day outside right babe? LMFAOOO. sorry I told you I was gunna put it lmfao. Oh man Humber Test tmrw & I'm scared I really don't know my Bio things but whatever :) I get to spend time with my baby tomorrow :) perhaps Yorkdale? Downtown? whereever, as long as im with you =]. I'm so mad that you're done school & I still got few more months left. Now you can skip work & surprise me all the time ;) lol. Anyways I shall nap & continue this later..

- dee

P.S.
I MISSSSSS YOURE ASSHOLENESS BABE :)
it's all love. love youuuu!

if it comes back then that's how you know.

Yesterday was my first day of work :) I was scared at first but hey it was good. Pretty easy, so chilling & fun. I was kind of tired though because I didn't get my daily nap before going to work due to driving school. Speaking of which, that pissed me off too because I didn't even drive that much cuz I was writing down all the steps ahah, I really have to study all kinds of parking. Anyways, work was good except one thing, it burns my hands & it hurts. I should get used to it soon & memorize all the stuff. Big thanks to my baby for picking me up after being so tired with work. I got home and I literally just collapsed on my bed while on the phone with baby. I missed him. Good thing i saw him last night. But moving on, today, guess whattttt ? I got Red Violet peek-a-boos at cosmo class, thanks Amber :). Amber had the opportunity to touch my virgin hair aha. I think I want more highlights though cuz it doesn't really show that much .. hmmmm?

-

I'm SICK of this, SICK OF BEING SICK. You're constantly telling me that I don't love you, like you really know what's inside my head! It's annoying & not nice to know that my own boyfriend doesn't even trust or believe the love that I have for him. You're telling me you're done hurting? well I'M DONE HURTING TOO! I'm done with all the fussing & fighting everyday. My world & my life already revolves around you & that's not enough for you? What have I done to hurt you? Did I hurt you by not typing on this blog about you? or what I feel about you? Well guess what, you hurt me way more than that. You're constantly telling me I don't care when all I cared for is this relationship & how to make you happy. Always putting you above everyone else, that I even forgot about my own friends. You're always thinking at the back of your head that I'm doing shit behind your back when we both know I DON'T. & we both know that YOU DO. I told you to help me out, yet all you think about is your feelings. A relationship goes two way not only one. I know you're stubborn, but what have I done from day one? I dealt with it, all the imperfections, the non-sense fights, the cheating, the lying, the past, the faults. You told me it was gunn change & so far it hasn't improved. I gave you all that you wanted & more than you deserved, yet you still didn't open my eyes and tell your self that maybe I really do love you. Cuz trust me no good girl would put up with the kind of shit we've both been through. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I really tried my best with this. Don't come back to me until you find out what you're gunn do to make this relationship go two way. Don't come back to me until you open your eyes into knowing how much I cared about you. I just can't deal with immaturity anymore. As much as I care, sometimes it's alright to let things go, like what the song says, 'if you love something let it go, & if it come's back then that's how you know' ..




- dee.

F*CK MY LIFE.

Fuck my life sideways! Woke up to an ugly weather today which is really gross, doesn't help me, bad weather especially rain makes me sad for some reason. I HATE IT! Anyways not only the weather is a downer but school is also a downer, I had 3 unit tests today. Religion was such a loaft, seriously there was like 7 people in the class that showed up. I guess my teacher was right when he said "sometimes success is all about showing up", which is why I'm really pushing myself to go to school lol. Cosmo test was hard frikking 110 questions, like wow is she crazy? but whatevs. Chem killed me, I fucked up on my quiz, i got 7 out of 10, which is okay but I can do a lot better. I should really stop sleeping & start listening.Thank goodness my dad was home to pick me up from school cuz there's no way im walking under this ugly ass weather. Speaking of bad mood, my phone's gunn get cut off soon which sucks balls, but whatever I'll get my own :).

The weekend was so nice, spent Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, & Saturday with the boyfriend. Geez my friends really has to work out again, shame shame ! you guys lost to KIDS! lol. out of shape much? LOL it was fun when me, trixie, jed, & ero got bored & decided to drive ray's car, well ero did. No he didn't get mad lol he was cool with it surprisingly. It was so fun chilling with them, I miss them. I should really start chilling again since the weather is really nice nowadays except for today. Like what I said Enough of me hibernating right? Also i forgot to mention that Trixie & Ryan killed me & Laurence on ball, damn Trixie is good, Ryan depended on her lol. But too bad I was feeling sick so decided to go home early, few minutes after Athina came. Sorry wife =( lol. I'm slowly coming out of my shell :) .. The couples should do a date soon :) i'm so down lol. But anyways me & Ray watched Silence of The Lambs, pretty sick movie I thought it was gunn be scary but ya. AND AND AND you know were bored when... WE WATCH CONGO ON A FRIDAY NIGHT. LMFAO. losers much? whatevs, I hope I feel better soon so I can finally go out and enjoy.

OUUUU, i have work tmrw.. oh mhan, wish me luck. I know I'll do good. This is also one issue why I never went out that much no more, CUZ NO MONEY, HONEY. geez, and now that I'm gunn have money, Ill have to give my card to Ray or Athina because I can't spend anymore lol. Anyways off to my homework. CIAO!


P.S.
GOOD LUCK ON YOUR EXAM TMRW BABY!
you'll do good, two or three more
exams to go and what your done?
I HATE YOU! & I still have like
two and a half more months ..
FUCK MY LIFE.

PROMISE.

The few days have been tough, things were just worst as before. I trusted you with all of me. You promised me that you would never do that to me, I'll keep it to myself. I felt the most angry feeling I have ever felt in awhile when I saw what you were doing behind my back. You we're caught, I saw them with my own eyes. I'm not the type of person that believes what people tell me but once I see it for myself it's a different story. When you did all of those things, especially 'throwing our love away', I didn't know what I was going to do but say 'drive me home'. I just couldn't believe that the love of my life did such evil thing behind my back, I wanted to be alone, I never wanted to see your face again, didn't wanna hear anything to do with you. I'm not going to lie, you lost me for a second there, I guess I was letting my mind take over my heart. But after you cried so much, my heart actually took over my mind. Seeing you cry in front of me, hearing the words that came out of your mouth, all the apologies, & the things you did to actually have things back to normal. I appreciate all of those because for once I'm not the one giving in & trying to do make our relationship work, it was you. I really felt cared & loved. Now it's back to normal but remember along the way, you still have to prove to me that you are MAN ENOUGH & MATURE ENOUGH to actually commit to this & not fool around with my feelings. I'm kindly asking you that if time comes & you don't want this anymore, you don't have to stick around, just please tell me & PLEASE don't ever do what you did, they're just really unacceptable. I love you too much to let it go just like that.
-
What beautiful weather yesterday and today. I can finally feel the sun omg time for me to come out of my shell & stop hibernating. I have hibernated enough lol. The downer is... IM SICK =( but whatevs. I just spent the day with boyfriend yesterday, thursday, & wednesday lol. played ball as usual. Chilled at my house last night. Baby if my brother wins & scored 6 points you better do the deal you make lol or he'll bug you forever.

LOL boyfriend's blog (http://1-con.blogspot.com/) made me laugh like there's no tomorrow. You're too harsh babe, I told you not to be that mean to her. But it's okay at least you didn't expose her about the things you told me. Anyways moving on.. YAY I got a job :), finally. I've been unemployed since January, time for me to frikking get money. I'm still disappointed at the fact that I quit my last job, like seriously how dumb can I get? But it's whatever, thanks kuya ian for getting me the job :). That dude made me wait for like 2 hours, like sh*t. But whatevs I got the job anyways =]. Yesterday was a pretty sick day-off from school. After my job interview, baby picked me up well waited for me, since he took half the day off from work lol. Went to my house to finish folding the clothes I was supposed to do before I left, see I'm being a good girl lol. I guess we also went to my house to pick up my brother's ball, since Ray's outdoor ball sucks ass lol. Went to Gonzaga and we saw JOEY, our new found friend. He's such a cutie, him & my boyfriend even played one-on-one for some McDonald's. "You better buy me my McDonald's next time I see you" lol, baby you're such a bully. Too bad he was a cheater aha. Got bored at Gonzaga & went off to Marcellinus, played some street ball, well I watched he played lol. Anyways I checked the PHYBA rankings, and they're not the only team that played 6 times omg baby, you're so blind put on some glasses lol. I had driving school today shit my life, I just can't wait to finish, I wanna start driving. Baby you gotta teach me how to do my 3-point turn & my parallel please & thanks =].
I'm so looking forward to this whole week, I can feel the sun. & I have the biggest feeling that this summer I'm going to be dark! I'm scared lol. Whoever has a Wonderland Season Pass from last year, please let me know if you guys wanna renew it this year Me & Ray needs 2 more people. THAAAAAAAANKS. Okay, this is like non-sense now like always. whatevssss, done done done.

Btw, people has to stop fucking spraying in the hallways. I seriously hate where my locker is located well all of our lockers are located. I loved my locked in Grade 10 & 11. I hate going there knowing some stinky person sprayed his/her fucking perfume that makes everyone gag, cough, sneeze, & complain. Geeeez, I was literally coughing my lungs out, & this is like the third time this happened. So whoever you are, please spray your shit when there's no one affected thanks.


Baby & Joey playing one-on-one

Thursday: stayed home once again..geez I really gotta stop being lazy, & I will. Ray came over to pick me up & go back around to my house to change his pants ahaha too jokes, watched What Happened in Vegas & Identity. That identity movie creeped the living heck out of me. But we were seriously turning around all the time that day, literally.

Friday: Church was so long holy I almost fell asleep, or did i? =P. I seriously thought it was going to finish round 3, but no.. It finished at around 5. Me & boyfriend went to the movies to watch Observe & Report, I still think that I Love You Man is better. That movie was just corny but it's okay it still made me laugh aha =P. Lol baby you want some SWISS CHALET? seriously, Swiss Chalet hates us. It was only 10 & they're already closed, so being a grumpy old man when he's hungry, we ended up at Denny's again lol, it's okay we love Denny's anyways. Saw Gloria, Ashley, & Ralph when we were about to eat. I also just realized that day that I could scream really loud, & so can he. Wow, we're too stubborn. It's all good in the hood.

Saturday: Decided to go Downtown with who else? my boyfriend lol. Went shopping, I must say that the new Nautica Oceans perfume smells like heaven aha. But don't get it, I don't want you guys smelling like my boyfriend, kidding. Finally ate some Swiss Chalet that he wanted since the night before aha. Chinese Swiss Chalet =P .. " did i just get a whole chicken? " ahaha. But before all that happened I almost forgot we finally cleaned his car. Geez man that car needed it real bad. But still didn't finish cleaning the inside part which we HAVE TO DO soon right? lol. That also brought back memories from summer 08 damn. Exact same car wash place lol. Then went to get some ice cleam at baskin robins. Geez babe you're seriously getting me fat. After downtown, went back to Sauga to play some ball at Gonzaga, that brought back memories as well. It was sooo cold. " yo, look at his calves " ; " *burp* omg popeyes right there " .. omg too funny =P.



Today: Church was so early, woke up because I had to. Went to the park. Came home, boyfriend came over & bonded with the family : ) while I fell asleep lol. Baby you still owe me chocolates! Thanks for coming to see me today btw you're the best =]. You got my parents in a good mood cuz of that thing you brought for them, iono how to spell it lol. I literally laughed at my mom when she said "how come ray kisses me when he comes here or leaves, & you guys don't" geez. It's love. I bet my brother is still celebrating that he beat you on NBA Live, booooring. You know what else is boring? BASEBALL. Im such a noob when it comes to sports. fuck me



-

On the other hand, who ever said that THIS doesn't phase me? Obviously it does because it involves me & other things. Don't worry I know bout the Blue Mountain thing, because before he bugged you, he bugged me first. Like what I said, when I push him away he makes you a rebound. You know why? because you're letting him. We both know guys get brainwashed easily, so all the things you told him about what I have done in the past affects him, why you say? because he cares about me. You really think that if he likes you or wants to be with you like what you're trying to say, he's still going to be by my side right now? Maybe you should actually just tell me all the things that he's 'hiding' because I am curious. You told him to stay with me, yet you're admitting that you still have feelings for him. I just don't get, is this the way of you getting revenge from me because of the past? Well I guess the things you told him about me didn't have any effect because it came from him that you don't matter to him. Yes maybe time will tell, but so far it's been great being with him. You're telling me I'm mindfucking him? He's not stupid to not know if i am mindfucking him or not. & If I am like what you say, we seriously wouldn't be together by now. He turned his back on you over some gee? That proves one more thing, that he really doesn't wanna be with you so i really don't know why you're telling me that he's not serious about me. As much as you know him, I know him well enough to tell you that he doesn't tolerate bullshit, he gets what he wants, & he's not stupid. So if I am fooling him, why would he see me almost everyday of the week? why would he meet my whole family? why would he bond with my family? why would he bring me to his games? go to dinner with me & my family? you really think that if he doesn't care about me or if he thinks im bullshitting him, he would do those things? I don't think so. It seems like you have a lot to say about how I am getting fooled by him & him not being serious about me, when you finally think that it's the right time to talk bout it let me know cuz I will be waiting. & I hope they're no bullshit.

Woman to Woman

WOMAN TO WOMAN

- Thea Monyee



I’m actually glad that you were bold and brave enough to call my house
So, that we can discuss this woman to woman and try to work some of these things out
So, we can compare notes on some dates and times, and try to figure out some of his tired ass lies
I’m actually glad to be hearing from the lips that left the lip sticks on my man’s colla
Even though he told me he was working late, just tryna earn a couple extra dollas
And I loved and I trusted him, so his bullshit I would swallow
Even though my intuition would never let me sleep
So, I guess the gap in our relationship was where you thought you would fit in ?
Just an insecure woman chasing after a man who’s already got a woman
But your pussy is not deep enough for a real man to fall in love with,
And this we already know because see your skirt is so short that it already shows your best assets
So, there’s no point in wasting time tryna figure out what you’re thinking after all
He is not fucking you for your mind
And you’re still young at heart, so you think this is real cute
Telling your friends girl, he’s cheating on me because he really wants you
And the reality is we are nothing alike
When he can’t deal with all of me, he goes to you to get me off of his mind, but it never works
See, he gets real still as he lies between the sheets that he sees
And now he’s tuning you out because he’s picturing me
Because you put up with that shit that I just won’t deal with
Because I’m strong in who I am
And he loves that, he loves that about me
It’s just that sometimes he can’t stand the reality that he doesn’t deserve a woman like me
And when he feels that way, well hell…
That’s when he comes crawling to your dirty shit
And just like a child, you thought you would call me to share
Calling me to disclose with me the colour of my man’s underwear
And you tell me like I don’t already know
Hell, I bought ‘em
Tryna tell me about how my man fucks, bitch I taught him
So, why don’t you do me a favour
And when he comes over tonight, and he’s coming and you’re coming…
And you’re both coming at last,
Just simply lean back his head and look him deep in his eyes,
And you’ll see me, waving back at your ass .




-
some deeeeeeeeep shit, kudos to Athina for this =)

wow, i haven't updated in quite awhile now. Well the past days have been rough & tough, but like everything else I'm getting through with my life, with the people that are most important in it. Me & Ray had our first double date with Athina & James, that was fun. Fast & The Furious was a good movie, though some people were saying that Tokyo Drift was better, well I still think this one is good, they're all good. Ive been slacking in school really bad, I gotta pick it up & start going to school. & I will. Today was a really scary day for me, but God answered my prayers, I'll keep that to myself. I really love how girls think they know me & talk shit to my boyfriend about me, saying what I did with my ex-boyfriend. It's just funny, because you don't know shit, you don't know me, I'm really glad that you took the time to even think of what to tell my boyfriend. Too bad girl, he doesn't like you, so telling him "oh ray i'd never do that to you" just makes you look like a slut. So keep talking, I'll listen. Let's see what else you're going to come up with. HAHA.

Anyways, I really miss my ugly. Thank God I'm seeing him tomorrow. I really need him, a hug from him & not letting go. This week is tough for us, but we got through it. I LOVE YOU.

"I've got my future planned,
& I swear you're in it.. I LOVE YOU"

- ray valdivia


♥
DEE.

EGGGGIES.

APRIL 2,2009

First off HAPPY 13 MONTHS BEST, we got enough behind us & more ahead of us =] I LOVE YOU & I got you ALWAYS! Yesterday was such a nice day out 14 degrees, went to Jack Darling with almost everyone. I missed them a lot a lot a lot. Thanks JAMES RYAN & LAURENCE for making us 'BASSS' our way there lol. It's kay we were with Ryan, Linda, Jeff, Erick & Andrew. Me, Klaudine & Athina did such a long ass mission & a half. Got there and it was MAD COLD. which I think led to the fact that I feel sick right now. Omg did I ever tell you guys that those Cadbury EGGIES thingys were so addicting? well now you know =P. We took nuff pictures, it was so beautiful there. It's so hard to climb a frikkin tree seriously, so baby if you're reading this I just proved to you that I ain't no monkey =P. Boyfriend picked me, Athina, & Klaudine up around 6:30 after getting his haircut, we drove along Mississauga Rd. talking bout people getting murdered there & stuff, which scares Athina. Im not gunn lie Im scared too lol. But anyways boyfriend drove us to 'MIDGET LAND' lol. Athina & Klaudine we're so amazed ahaha. I could see myself in them when I first saw that place. After dropping the two at terms me & baby went to Sauga Secondary to shoot around, holy their courts there are tall =/. Surprisingly I got some in : ). Thanks baby for picking getting me from that cold ass place =]

APRIL 1, 2009

HAPPY 2ND MONTH BABY, the past few month/s have been really great with you. We have so many ups & downs, yet we still get through them no matter what. The things you've made me realize, made me learn, & made me experience are such great accomplishment so far. I never get sick of spending time with you. Sorry for the hardships & stubbornness I give you sometimes, the words that come out of my mouth when we argue are non-intentional & I'm sorry. I know there are a lot of more great things ahead of us .Like what I always say, I look forward to them, & I'm excited =]. I've never had this with anyone before, now I can say I'm settled & I won't give up on you, on us, & this. Sometimes it might seem that I don't care but I really care for you the most. I Love You, & thank you for everything ugly ;) .