I MISS ..

..the old times
..times we spent together
..your silliness
..laughing with you
..spending time with you all the time
..hugging and kissing you
..when you wrestle with me
..you being playful
..when we were so close
..when i knew everything that was happening to you
..when i was still your top priority
..when you cared a lot about my well being
..when you would treat me like a princess
..everything
..us

-dee

walk away

when people walk away from you,
let them go. you're destiny isn't
tied down to anyone who leave you.
It doesn't mean they're bad people.
It just means that their part in
your story is over.

reading week.

OMG, reading week is over :( BOOO. I really don't wanna go back to school. I didn't even do any school work when I'm supposed to. I have two exams this week and I've only gotten over a bit of the stuff I'm supposed to go over. Anyways. So my reading week was okay, but not long enough. Monday I was with my fam. Tuesday with Baby the whole day. Wed-Fri I was at work. Friday, spent the night with baby watching Beverly Hills 90210 old but pretty good show. Saturday worked then watched Shutter Island with baby then today I went to church. NO LIFE! I HATE MY LIFE. lol

Happy Birthday Baby!

Happy monthsary to Klaudine and A-tee & Happy Birthday babe!

Today baby came over early maybe around 9:30 after his gym. Laid down on my bed for a bit maybe til 11:30 watching Couples Retreat, still funny :P. Got Ready and went to go watch Valentine's Day at Famous, not that great of a movie. But ya, passed by my work then rented Time Traveler's Wife and headed to my place. I miss just chilling days like this with baby because I never really get the chance to chill with him like this nowadays. We're both busy, and the only days we get with each other is Friday night, and Saturdays, and maybe sometimes Sundays. But whatever, I LOVE YOU BABY. Hope to spend every birthday with you!!

family day

So woke up pretty early today, baby woke me around 10ish cuz he was leaving. Then went back to sleep again for a bit til daddy-oh woke me up to tell me we're reaching my grandparents place. So blah blah, got to my grandparents and watched the Olympics, ate like a pig, and watched movies with cousins. It's nice spending time with family once in awhile. We started looking at old pictures, I remember being such a spoiled kid that I would get whatever I wanted from my mom, my grandparents, even my aunts and uncles. But ya, so I got a baby picture that my grandpa have and I'm gun give it to baby :) aha. Anyways, my cousin is having a baby shower soon, I just can't wait til her baby girl is out, since I'm going to be a god mother, and Ray is going to be a god father, me & him will spoil that baby off. I'm excited to just borrow her from Jezz all the time and just take her out with me & Ray :P. Baby would love that little cutie off, he'd make such a great dad. But not now, maybe in the future.. :)

THANKS BABY!

I would just like to thank my boyfriend for a wonderful Valentine's Day/Weekend. Thanks for the roses that everyone was jealous about lol, the card and the chocolate baby. Thanks for surprising me :P and for coming to church with me. I love you. Today is family day unfortunately I can't spend the day with baby, maybe tonight? lol. He went to Buffalo with his family, and I'm spending mine with my family. But tomorrow is baby's birthday and I'm spending it with him yay :) for the first time ever, I can spend something special with him. But anyways. Im off to go..

toodles

dee

update

Oh man, I haven't been in this for so long. Haven't updated this with what's going on in awhile. Everything is busy busy.. I've been so exhausted. School and work has been very exhausting. Valentine's day is coming and i wonder what baby is getting me.. hmmmm? =P anyways i'll leave it here and update more later..

2:10 AM - SUNDAY

Baby just left my house 15 minutes ago..
My phone rings..

Me: Hello
Baby: Hi baby, did you know that you look so cute when you're sleeping?
Me: huh?
Baby: I just love to stare at you when you sleep, didn't you notice I keep kissing you and snuggling with you while sleeping? You're like my baby
Me: I know.. I fell asleep fast during the movie
Baby: Can I keep you baby?
Me: I'm yours forever!
Baby: Kiss!
Me: MUAHHH
Baby: MUAAHH!

I love youuu! You make my day! even if it's like when we just parted you make me miss you like crazzzy!

It pisses me off that the strike is always getting pushed back to another date. Like if you guys want to go on strike, just go, cuz it's wasting both of our times. The fact that theres so much rumours going on pisses me off more too. But whatever..

Thanks baby for coming over last night :) even if it was only for a bit, watching Saved By The Bell with you was fun :P. Tonight, you better pick me up at 930 don't forget like last week. Don't get too carried away with playing basketball with my dad and my brother and other people lol.

Monotone teachers are the worst, especially for college students. Like why would they hire teachers like that when they know that students won't be able to learn from their annoying way of speaking. PISS ME OFF.

BY THE WAY GUYS, follow me on

tumblr

:)

LAZY DAY.

OMGAH, lol woke up early cuz people are looking at our house. BOO!! Anyways, Klaudine also came over, and right now she's sleeping on my bed lol cuz it's comfy like that. I'm about to go back to sleep as well since I just finished my online classes. I really am pissed that we're selling our house because first, I don't want to move, second, I don't want to be far from baby, and third, I hate moving, it's tiring. I just hope my parents finally make a decision on where we're going to move and if the case is moving to Toronto, I'm moving out. I can easily find roommates that I can share the rent and utilities with if my boyfriend isn't allowed to move in with me lol. It would teach me how to be more independent and more self-reliant rather than relying on my parents all the time. I can learn how to cook & do laundry on my own :P.

OMG SHE'S SNORING! LOL

Anyways, today is such a lazy day, I don't think me or Klaudine will reach school just because. OMG I NEED TO STOP SLACKING. I have no motivation, I miss my boyfriend, I feel so apart from him, I'm lazy, the weather sucks, everything sucks right now. Whatever, I'll go back to sleep and dream. Maybe in my dream, everything would be perfect. *cross fingers*

NEXT STOP : MOVING OUT!

party everyday! :) lol.

xoxo dee

thanks

Thanks for tonight sweetie, you know what I'm talking about. At least you proved to me that you could actually give me something. I appreciate it. I miss you, I miss the old times. I just hope we 'talk' like that more often. I MISS YOU SO SO SO SO SO MUCH. I love you no matter what.


oh how I miss summer. PLEASE COME BACK so I can finally relax like this with my baby..


danielle

unappreciated

I'm feeling really unappreciated.
You takin` my love for granted, babe.
and I don't know how much more,
I can take from you.
You don't do the things you use to do.
You don't even say I love you too.
And lately I've been feeling,
Feeling unappreciated.


Woke up this morning and saw your face
And you didn't look the same as yesterday.
I got the feeling that you can't seem to see,
Where you want to be.
And lately it ain't been the same at all.
When you're here its like I'm invisible
I still can't seem to see where I went wrong.
Cause I'm feeling unappreciated


Lately our house is not a home
You come in, take a shower and then say I'm gone.
What am I to do
When my heart says leave
But my feet won't move
And today is our anniversary
And you haven't even said two words to me
I'm trying hard to give you another chance
But baby I'm feeling unappreciated


Oh when I first met you
I thought you was the most perfect man
That I ever seen
I still don't understand why
You treat me like you do
I use to give into your lies
But now I see the truth
Oh no I don't want to hear it I'm through
Yea I know I'll still be missing you
But it's not worth the pain
That I've gained from you
You make me feel
Unappreciated


Don't love me no more
I'm really feeling unappreciated.

strike

I'm praying so hard that Colleges won't go on strike. They have a set date for Feb 11th, I really don't want my summer ruined. Like please, let the students get over the load on their back and then go on strike. You guys keep mooching money off of the students through tuition, books, etc. But whatever. Class today was fun, as usual it was me & Sharlene on a monday morning being hyper. I can honestly say that our group is bomb, all we do is laugh and make jokes, but we still get our work done. I'm pigging out with the Hershey Kisses me and baby bought from Niagara on Saturday. By the was thanks babe for bringing me to Niagara, then watching When in Rome with me, and bringing me to Pickle Barrel for dinner :) LOVE YOU. I also love the Guess watch you bought me :) even if it's huge, I gotta go to a watch store to take of its links so I can finally wear it :). I also hope you love the GPS I got you :) I took my time thinking of that. And I know you love it. Anyways, strike or no strike, I can't wait for reading week, perhaps me & baby can spend some time together during that week :) I really want a frikking get away, perhaps Valentine's day? *cough cough*.. IM BOREEEEED. whatever.

xox dee

one year

I hate it. It's ruined. The only day you can be nice to me, be a boyfriend, be a gentleman, and you chose not to. You chose to leave me here literally crying and not giving two fucks about me. Worst than that you swear at me? you yell at me? Do you think I'm some kind of a superhero that doesn't get hurt? If so, then something is wrong with you. You can't even appreciate all the things I given you for our one year. I skipped 3 days of school to complete your presents and you cant even take 6 minutes to watch it? I would've thought you'd be excited to watch it. But instead you'd rather watch your wrestling and even worst play your Wii, THEN SLEEP? Thanks a lot. You know my heart, it's about to fucking burst in million pieces soon. I really hope you could cure it, but you can never. I hate when you tell me things that gets my hopes up. When are you ever going to put me first? The only thing I can do to ease all the pain you cause is burst into tears. I feel so fucking broken. I'm ready to fall off the string I'm holding on to. You always shut me out. Why are you like that? Don't you feel horrible you're hurting me? I mean you tell me you love me yet you can hurt me like that? you can swear at me like that? you can yell at me? You ask me why I can't be happy.. you should know why. why can't you put your all attention on me, even just for once. I might sound selfish when I say that but I mean I deserve it. You can never just have your attention on me. There always has to be something else. I'm left with questioning if this is really real for you. Cuz I'm not up for games. I should be holding a lot of grudges on you, but I don't I give you a chance to prove yourself all the time, now I'm running out of reasons. I mean if you're really not ready for me, you can't change that right? who can? cuz I tried, and theres still nothing there. I cry myself to sleep all the time because of us, I put everything inside me. I'm always left alone crying in the dark. Why can't you feel bad for me, for once.. I wish you could feel how you make me feel. I wish you could understand, I wish you could see my mind & my heart. I wish you were aware of how make me feel. I wish you dont turn away. I wish you'd love me more. I wish you'd be there when I feel alone and losing my grip. I wish you'd wipe my tears when I cry. I wish for so much things to change in you. I pray every night. But no matter how much hate I have for you, when I see your face or even just hear your voice it all goes away, I mean I know you love me, your just having a hard time showing it. Am i right? But why is it hard? I wanna know why you cant be the boyfriend that would show me to his mom. Am I not worth it? Cuz I feel as if I'm not thats why it's better off I don't meet them. I dont know.. this is just sad.. Im slowly slowly falling..

And you know ain't nothing better
Then when we get
Mad together and have angry sex
Then we forget what we were mad about

aha

happy one year, i love you.
even if you don't

always,
danielle

b o r e d , b l a h b l a h b l a h , r a n t r a n t r a n t

WHY AM I SO BORED? maybe because I have nothing to do? I went to go get baby his well deserved present for our one year anniversary & perhaps for his birthday? Maybe if I have money on his birthday I'll get him something else. But I know that once he recieves this present, he'd go crazy. I mean first HE WOULD LOVE IT, second it's fucking expensive like no lies. I'M a bit broke now, since I have to pay 3 bills for my books as well. Whatever I gotta work work work to get money & start saving up. Cause after these expenses I don't have to get anything else. So maybe it's time to save up some dollar. Anyways I'll end it here, maybe I'll get a gift bag for babies presentS!!

xox dee :)

over-reacting

I know sometimes I over-react.. but regardless, I Love You. No matter what issues come up we end up working things out anyway. :) LOVE YOU LOVE YOU LOVE YOU!!

I don't care, we need a frikking get away.. I WANT TO GET AWAY FROM EVERYONE! with you of course..

whatever.. this post is bleeh.. I'm going to eat.. :P



xoxo dee

you make me..

you make me..

..terribly sad
..really really really MISS YOU
..feel so alone, because you're never there to comfort me when you already I'm crying
..stay up late almost every night, because I'm thinking of you & me
..cry myself to sleep
..feel horrible about myself
..feel like shit
..feel as if I am nothing to you
..wanna just give up on myself & everything
..cry
..hate you so much sometimes because you can never hear me out
..wanna throw something at you when you yell at me
..unhappy
..feel like I'm nothing but just another girl to you
..feel as if sometimes I'm just a friend
..feel as if you're shy/ashamed to be with me when others are around


you can't blame me if I always stress the negatives about you.. don't get me wrong there are so much positives.. but I just want to let you know what you make me feel most of the time.. of course it's just a girls nature to tell her boyfriend what she feels or what's wrong. but the problem is, you never hear me out.

always
dee

hmmm ..

or i love you.. if I don't have my basketball in mind
or i love you.. when my video games get boring
or i love you.. when I actually talk to you at night
or i love you.. when I'm not tired
or i love you.. when I'm not thinking bad things about you
or i love you.. on the weekends
or i love you.. in front of your parents
or i love you.. when I'm not watching tv
or i love you.. only when I'm with you
or i love you.. when I get what I want
etc.

soooo ironic!

why oh why..

Why are we always like this? They say good things come to those who wait, but I've been waiting for too long for you to let me in your life. You can't always have that mentality of "the easiest thing not to get hurt, is to not care at all" .. I want you to care, and listen to what I want sometimes. I've given you everything you wanted and asked nothing in return but for you to love me, care for me, trust me, and most of all put me in your life.. I think I deserve something in return right? for once babe.. I mean if you really are serious about me, I think you would know what the right things to do. I don't ask for much, I just want to feel appreciated and loved. I have had criticism and hatred from other throughout my life, I don't want it from you as well.. :(

always,
dee